If Love Was Easy
by McLance
Summary: The McFadden family return, with a situation that thrusts Harlie into a never-before contentiousness with Daniel.
1. Chapter 1

Everybody's heard of it. Some people claim that's it's happened to them. The whole 'Love at First Sight' thing. If someone asked me,

I'd say that yeah, I believe it can happen. I've seen it happen. The first time that Brian and Clare met each other. BAM!

Then, there's the other thing. The _thing_ that I'd supposedly learned over a year ago. About how you can't control someone that you love,

and keep them from falling for, _(like Guthrie and that horrible girl from Oklahoma),_ someone you know isn't right for them. Lessons learned,

and all of that rigamarole. Add to that chaos hurt feelings, misunderstandings, stubbornness, and you've got yourself a bushel of trouble.

I regress.

Evan and Nancy's wedding had gone off with success. Even though we'd moved nearly all the furniture out, to set up

chairs for the guests, it was still crowded. There was no glaring hiccups in the ceremony itself, unless you count Evan dropping

the ring. Right after it was handed to him by Ford, who was Evan's best man, Evan dropped it. It rolled a ways, and Ford was the

one who got down to retrieve it, handing it off to Evan a second time with a flourish. Evan was embarrassed, I knew, but Nancy

just laughed. And then when it was time for the public ceremony kiss, after it was 'official', Evan (who's not really comfortable

with public affection), gave Nancy a kiss, and then at the end of the aisle, she stopped, and gave Evan another kiss, which caused

clapping and whistling thru the guests. It was a 'Let's try that again' kiss.

The reception was outside, with tables set up with food, and drinks, and there was music with a DJ. I'd forgotten about Bill coming

with Felicity, and it could have been awkward and all, since I'd just two nights before became official with dating Kenny.

But, it really wasn't so awkward. I went to Bill when they arrived, and I explained to him, sort of privately, that I liked him and

all that, but that I was going to go out with just Kenny right now. And Bill was nice about it.

When Kenny had first seen me, when he arrived about an hour before the ceremony itself, he'd paused, there on the front steps,

as I came out of the house to greet him.

His eyes had sort of lit up, and he said, quietly, "You sure are pretty."

I knew that the dress Nancy had made for me to be her bridesmaid was attractive. And my hair was all tamed, so that it

cascaded down my back. Other people that day had told me that I looked pretty, or that I looked beautiful. But the way that

Kenny said that. That I _was_ pretty. Not just because I was in a fancy dress, with makeup on and all of that, but that he thought

it all of the time. It sounds silly, but, that's how it made me feel.

And, of course, a highlight was having Daniel at home, amongst the clutches of the family unit. We did all the usual things

that we did while he was around. Hung out, went to eat pizza, and to the movies, and then, of course, he got roped into

helping with all the chores. Mostly, a lot of mechanics. Daniel's a good mechanic, for sure, and the rest of the guys are

always glad to turn over any mechanical issues on equipment or vehicles to him. And, Daniel's not like a lot of musicians are,

where they don't want to do dirty stuff like mechanics, where they might get their hands all greasy and blistered, or even get

a thumb smashed with a hammer or turning a wrench. Daniel says that it is indeed possible to still play the guitar with

ranch-blistered fingers, since he's done it plenty of times.

When he left again, to return to Tennessee, after a week of being at home, I felt as I usually did. Sad to see him go. Emotional. But,

resigned to the fact of it. And hopeful for his quick return home again.

If, I'd known just what the 'quick return' visit would entail, then I would have been less excited about it. That sounds terrible. I would

have, if I'd known what was coming down the pike, been anxious, and hesitant, and all. But, at least it wouldn't have been such

a complete shock, as it was. I maintain that the shock of it made it so, so much worse.

More about that in a bit...

7


	2. Dizzy is as Dizzy Does

I'd been having a good time, lately. After the rush and excitement of the wedding, Nancy and Evan settled into the life at the

cabin. They still came to supper at least a couple of times a week, and, of course Evan was around during the day, working. Sometimes,

though, when I got home from work at Ivy's, I only got to see him for a few minutes before he left. Unless it was one of the evenings that

Nancy came to the house straight from her job, and they ate with all of us.

They both seemed really happy, and that made me feel good inside. I did miss him being right down the hallway at night, though. I'll admit

to it.

Now, that I was dating Kenny, and only Kenny, things were different with that, too. I was actually having a really good time. We'd been

out for the last two weekends straight, going to the movies with Guthrie and Kristin, and another time bowling with them and Trent and Lori. And,

then, one Sunday we'd gone off by ourselves, taking a picnic to the creek.

And, we did a lot of talking. I always knew that Kenny and I had a bunch of stuff in common. I mean, we did both grow up

around Murphys, and been around ranching all our lives. But, we had other things in common, too. We liked the same movies, and

riding horseback, and sometimes Kenny would bring his four-wheeler over in the back of his truck, and we'd go four-wheeling with

Guthrie and Kristin. Sometimes up to Evan and Nancy's cabin, and other times, just over the hills and zooming along in the

tall grass.

Anyway, with school, and work at Ivy's, and all my critters, and then chores at home, and being with Kenny, I was busy all the time. I'd been busy

before, but now even more so.

And, something had to give at some point. I'd been staying up late to do homework, and to study, since that was when I had the

time. Then, I'd started to have headaches. I didn't want to have any family concerned by that, or by me having issues with my

diabetes. So, I stopped staying up so late doing homework. I rationalized to myself that I'd get to bed on time, and the headaches

would stop, and thus, I'd stay healthy and on top of things.

As long as I was healthy, I could keep up with everything. That's what I told myself.

One Sunday afternoon I had the beginnings of one of those headaches, and, even though I should have rested,

I didn't want to. Ford was getting ready to head back to college, and I didn't want to miss any time with him.

Ford and I'd been riding since lunch that day, and he said he only had about another hour or so until he would

have to be leaving for the drive back. We'd stopped in one of the meadows, and left the horses ground tied, stretching out

in the grass. Ford was sitting, absentmindedly tearing the grass blades and then whistling on them.

No matter what, I've never been able to do that. Even though I've practiced for years.

I laid down on my back, laying one arm across my eyes to block the sun. It made my headache worse.

"You feelin' okay?" Ford asked me.

"Yeah, I'm okay," I said.

"You've got a headache though, don't ya?"

"Just a little one, Fordie," I told him.

He reached over and gave me a dig in my ribs. "Stop with the 'Fordie', Har."

I put my arm back over my eyes again from where he'd jostled me. "I've only called you that once this weekend," I pointed out. "I'm allowed."

I heard Ford rustling around, and I peeked under my arm to see that he was lying on his back, as well, with both arms folded under

his head. I rolled over on my stomach, so the sun wouldn't be in my eyes. I propped myself up on my elbows.

"Maybe you shoulda eaten more lunch, huh?" he said.

"It's not that," I said. "Maybe I need glasses or something."

"Have Hannah make you an eye appointment," Ford suggested.

"I'm just joking. My eyes are fine," I told him.

"How's Kenny?" he asked me.

"You saw him last night when he came over," I said.

"I know I did. I meant, how are things between you and him?"

"Oh." I smiled a little, despite my headache. "We're good."

"That's good."

"What about you and Felicity?" I countered.

"She's a nice girl," Ford said. "I like her. I'm not ready to get serious, though."

I turned to lay on my right side, propping my head on one hand. "Does she want to get serious?" I asked.

"I dunno," he said, and then he sighed. "Yeah. I guess she does."

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

"I'm not sure," Ford admitted. "I'm not really good at this stuff."

"You're so nice, you just don't want to hurt someone," I said, loyally.

"Thanks, Har."

I shifted to a sitting up position, sitting cross-legged and facing Ford.

"Has Felicity talked to you much about before-before they moved here, I mean?" I asked. It was my round-about way of asking

if Ford knew about the baby that she'd placed for adoption last year. I'd always wondered if she'd told Ford, but he had never said. I'd

promised Bill that I wouldn't say anything to Ford at first about it, and now so much time had gone by, that I felt a little guilty.

"Yeah. She's talked to me a little about it," Ford said.

I wondered what that _little_ had been, and whether it included the adoption.

"I guess she had a pretty rough time of it," I said, plucking a piece of the grass and tearing it into strips.

"Is this the round-about way of asking if she told me about the baby?" Ford asked.

"Yeah," I said, surprised.

"She told me. A couple of weeks after we started going out."

"Oh. Well, that's good," I said, and I felt relieved at not having to hold it from Ford any longer. "I guess I should have

told you," I said, feeling awkward. "But, at first, Bill asked me not to tell you, and then-well, I kind of thought it was

Felicity's place to tell you-" I let my voice trail off.

For a moment Ford was quiet, and I said, "Was I wrong, Ford?" I asked, wondering at his silence.

"No. I think it was right of you," he said, and I felt relief swoosh over me.

"Okay," I said.

"It took a lot of courage for Felicity to do what she did," Ford said. "She wanted what was best for the baby."

Another thought occurred to me. I wondered if it was too personal to ask of Ford.

"If I ask you something, and it's too personal," I began, "You can just tell me."

"What is it?" he asked.

"Is that the reason that you don't want to get real serious with Felicity?" I asked. "Because of the baby?"

"Gosh, no," Ford said, immediately. "I admire her for doing what she thought was right. And, she really thought she

loved the guy. The baby's dad. He left her high and dry when he found out she was pregnant."

I hadn't known all of that, and I felt bad for Felicity.

After a few more minutes, Ford said he had to be getting to the house, so as to gather up his stuff, and head back to college.

"Next time you come, will you bring Captain Jack?" I asked him.

"Yeah. I'll try to."

Ford got his feet, and held out a hand to me. I took his hand, and let him pull me to my feet. At first, it was playful, me

pretending to fall back, and causing him to have to tug harder. When he gave me a yank that brought me to my feet, I was

laughing. At first. And, then, I felt so dizzy for a moment that I nearly did fall over for real.

Ford caught at my arm, holding me up. When he was wise to the fact that I wasn't still playing, his face

was lined in concern.

"Har-" he began, putting an arm around my waist.

"I'm okay," I said. More from habit than from truth at that moment.

"Sit back down for a minute," he told me.

"I don't need to."

"Sit," he ordered, and more or less guided me to the ground. I sat with my knees folded underneath my behind. Ford

went over to the horses, and took off one of the canteens, bringing it over to me.

He knelt on one knee and handed it to me.

I took a long drink of the water, and handed it back to him. He recapped the canteen, but his eyes were on me the whole

time he did it. He was watching me so intently that I put my hand on his shoulder and gave him a light push.

"Stop, Ford. I'm okay."

"What was that, then?" he asked.

"I don't know. Nothing. I'll be fine in a minute."

"You bring anything with you?" he asked then. "An apple, or candy bar, or something?"

"No."

"I should have thought to bring somethin'," he said, almost to himself.

"It's not your responsibility," I told him.

"No," he agreed. "It's yours." He succeeded in sounding stern, and I gave his leg a pat.

"You're doing good," I told him. "You've been practicing on that lecture tone."

Ford didn't answer that little quip of mine. He said, "Let me know when you're ready."

"I'm ready now," I said, and let him help me to my feet.

"Not dizzy anymore?" he asked, still hovering at my side.

"No. I'm okay."

When we were beside the horses, Ford tried to get me to ride double with him on his horse, but I refused, and

he didn't press me. I could tell Ford was torn between trying to get us home in a hurry, or taking it slowly, so as not to

dizzy me up again.

When we got within sight of the barns, and the house, Ford said, "I'll unsaddle Charley and put him away for ya. I want you to go

in, and get something to eat, and tell Hannah what happened."

"I'll let you untack Charley if you want, and I'll get a snack," I said. "But, I'm not saying anything to Hannah."

"The heck you're not," Ford said.

I gave him a sideways glance. He wasn't looking at me, but I could see by the set of his mouth that he was in

stubborn mode.

At the corral, I slid down off of Charley, and Ford took the reins from my hand.

"Hannah will just fuss," I said, making one more attempt.

"You need her to fuss," Ford said. He went on, leading both horses away to untack them.

I rolled my eyes, even though no one was there to see me do it.

I went in the back door to the kitchen, thinking, and hoping, that everybody would be in the living room, sitting around

and relaxing. I could grab a snack, and sit for a few minutes at the kitchen table.

And, the kitchen was empty. For the moment. I got down some crackers, and peanut butter, and a few pieces of the

dark chocolate candy that Hannah keeps on top of the refrigerator, and sat down at the table to eat.

"Hey. You're back," Adam said, coming into the kitchen, carrying an empty glass in his hand. Hannah was with him.

"How was your ride?" Adam asked me.

"It was good," I said, around my mouthful of crackers.

"Where's Ford?" Hannah asked.

"He's putting the horses up," I said.

Adam ran a hand over my shoulder on his way to the refrigerator, taking out the pitcher of sweet tea.

I watched him refill his tea glass, and Hannah, as she went to start cutting the cherry pie that was on the counter.

"I made you some strawberry shortcake," she told me. Hannah is really good about making me desserts that aren't

so bad for diabetes, so that I don't feel left out of dessert time.

"Thanks," I told her. I knew I only had a couple more minutes and Ford would be inside.

"I got a little dizzy earlier," I said, trying to sound casual. Nonchalant. As though it was no big deal. Which I didn't think

that it was, really.

Immediately, both of them paused in what they were doing, and turned their attention to me.

"You did?" Hannah asked, looking concerned.

"Just a little," I maintained.

Adam left his glass on the counter, and stepped over closer to where I was sitting. "How do you feel now?"

"Fine, now."

He reached out to lay a hand at the back of my neck.

"You're not warm," he determined, and I knew that he would now assume that it had to do with my diabetes, for sure.

"I think it was the sun," I said. "Or I stood up too fast or something. Ford and I were clowning around."

I was sorry to throw Ford under the bus that way, but it was better than having a whole lot of fussing.

"Yeah?" Adam said, looking skeptical.

"Uh huh," I said.

"Well, we'll see how you feel after a bit," Hannah said, and went back to cutting the pie, and putting the slices onto

small plates.

Adam was still standing there, beside my chair, looking at me with an '_I've got my eye on you'_ sort of look.

"Did you have somethin' with you to eat?" Adam asked.

I shook my head slightly.

"Aren't you supposed to?" he asked then. Ah. One of those _rhetorical_ questions that adults like to ask.

"Yes. I forgot," I said.

Ford chose that moment to come inside, scraping his boots on the mat.

"Hi, Ford," Hannah greeted him. "I'm just now cutting the pie."

"Good. I'm ready for it," Ford said, going to the kitchen sink to wash his hands.

Adam had gone back to begin refilling his tea glass by now, and Ford turned around to look at me, drying his

hands.

He gave me a questioning look, which I interpreted correctly.

"Yes, Ford," I said, in answer to that look. A bit irritated with him, I must admit.

"'Yes, Ford', what?" Adam asked, noticing the look between Ford and I.

"I told you about getting dizzy," I said, shortly, and got up to take my empty plate to the sink.

"Where you not going to tell us?" Adam asked, with a frown.

"I don't know," I said, fully irritated now. "Maybe not."

"Harlie," Hannah said, quietly reproving.

"This is _why,"_ I said. "Because everybody assumes right off that it has to do with the stupid diabetes. I told you that

it was the sun, or that I got up too fast or something. Good grief."

There was a charged silence for a few moments in the kitchen. Ford was giving me a '_you've got to be kidding'_ look; Hannah

looked sympathetic; and Adam was regarding me as if debating whether to tear my head off or not.

"Sorry," I said.

Ford cleared his throat a little, and said, in an off-hand way, "I've gotta be gettin' headed back."

"I packed you some cookies and things," Hannah told him. "And, aren't you going to eat your pie first?"

"Yeah. Let me grab my stuff, and then I'll have some," Ford said.

He gave me a wry smile, and left the kitchen.

"I'll go tell everybody dessert is out and ready," Hannah said, and she followed Ford.

I stood where I was, leaning against the counter by the sink. Adam took his glass of tea and went to sit

at the table, at Hannah's end.

"You've been hitting things pretty hard lately," Adam said. "Sort of burning the candle at both ends."

I didn't say anything. He was right. There was no point to deny it.

"Not gettin' enough rest could be contributing to things. The headaches you've been having, for instance," Adam said.

I blinked at him, wondering yet again how he did that. How did he always _know_ things? I hadn't realized that I'd

made my headaches obvious.

I didn't deny the headaches, either. Again, there was no point.

"Plan on making it an early night tonight," Adam said. "No more of this staying up late."

Yet another thing I hadn't known he'd _known._

"I haven't been," I said, in defense. "Not the last few nights, I haven't."

"Well, early to bed tonight," he said.

"Kenny was coming over," I said. "After supper, for a while."

"Fine," he said, standing up and scooting the chair up to the table. "But he heads home early and you're in bed

before nine. Hear me?"

I nodded, repressing my sigh.

7


	3. The Talking-to

I started on my homework after my little _talk_ with Adam in the kitchen. Guthrie came in, though, and told me that my

horse was acting strange.

"What do you mean?" I asked, instantly feeling alarmed.

"He won't come and eat with the rest of the horses," Guthrie said. "He just acts-puny."

I pushed my books off my lap and onto the couch, and was out the door quick.

D.C. (Dark Commander) was in his usual spot beside the corral. He usually hung out there, and he kept the grass

eaten down to a nub. I was always hoping he would venture further out into the pasture, with the other horses, but so far he

hadn't. And, right now he wasn't with the rest of the herd, enjoying the hay that Guthrie had put out. I crawled thru the gate to the pasture instead of opening it.

The horse had his head down, looking more like he had when I'd first brought him home.

I began talking to him softly, and I'd even gone to get an apple from the barn to offer him, but he wasn't interested, even

in that.

I was glad to hear the back door flapping shut, and see Brian striding across the yard towards the corral.

"Something's really wrong, Bri," I said, worriedly.

Brian came thru the pasture gate the same way that I had. He came up beside D.C. and began running his hands

over the horse's sides, and hind quarters.

"Hold his head," Brian told me, and I slipped my fingers thru the halter, and Brian opened D.C.'s mouth.

"Has he been off his feed?" Brian asked me.

"Yeah, maybe a little," I said. "I think maybe he has colic," I said, worriedly.

"What makes you think that?" Brian asked, stepping back, and reaching out to run his hand over D.C.'s head.

"Well, not much of an appetite, and he hasn't been drinking much water."

"How do you know he's not been drinking?" Brian asked.

"I haven't seen him drink-"

"You haven't been out here every minute with him, either, have you?" Brian pointed out.

I shook my head, and Brian said, "He's not nipping at his flank, or pawing the ground, so I don't think he has colic."

Brian patted D.C., and said, "I think the old guy's maybe a little depressed."

"I know he's sad, but depressed?" I asked, skeptically. "Really?"

"It's just a thought, peach."

"Well, but why, though?" I said, in frustration. "I mean, he's got all this pasture, and plenty to eat, and he's not

getting mistreated anymore-"

"You knew it wasn't likely to be an easy fix when you brought him home," Brian reminded me. "Didn't you?"

I sighed. "Yes."

"Should I have Ivy come and take a look at him?" I asked, after a couple of moments passed.

"See how he is in the morning," Brian advised. "If he's not better, then you might mention it to her."

I thought of my skimpy amount of money that I had upstairs in my dresser drawer. Even though I was working for Ivy,

and she was paying me, I just couldn't seem to catch a break. D.C. was costing a lot of money with his care, and I was always

certain about paying Ivy for what I owed her. A couple of times when something had come up with D.C., I'd offered to work

it off instead of being paid. So, anyway, my money supply was meager. Pitiful.

I really should get a second job, I thought, as I went back to the house with Brian. I didn't know if Ivy could afford to pay

me for working on Saturday mornings, too. Maybe I could ask Marie if I could work some shifts at the café.

It was almost as though the hemisphere was conspiring against me, because as we were walking past my truck to

go in the back door, Brian stopped, and went back, crouching down and running his hand over the driver's side left tire.

"Tread's gettin' thin on this tire," he commented, and then proceeded to go around the entire truck, checking the other three

tires.

"On all of them?" I asked, horrified, and thinking of how much tires must cost.

"The front two are okay for a while, but you're gonna need to replace those back two pretty quickly," he said.

"Bat shit," I muttered.

Brian must have heard my muttering because he said, though mildly enough, "Harlie, you've had that truck nearly ten months, and

you've driven it a lot of miles. Tires are bound to wear out, just like everything else."

I sighed. "I know."

"Depending on how new they were when Doc G left you the truck," Brian said, and then we both stood there a moment, thinking

of Doc G. Sometimes the thought or memory of him is enough to cause my chest to pound. Other times, the grief is softer.

"It's just part of bein' a vehicle owner, peach," he told me.

"How much would two new tires be?" I asked.

"It's gonna run around a hundred dollars, more or less."

"Bat shit," I said again, only more clearly.

"Don't let Hannah hear you talking that way," Brian said.

"How long can I drive on those tires?" I asked, pointing to the offending tires on the back of my truck.

"I don't want to have you drivin' on them much longer at all. Jake's probably got what you need down at his shop."

"But how _long?"_ I insisted.

"Another week or so is about all," Brian said.

I was suddenly so frustrated that I wanted to scream, or break something.

"Gahhh," I said, in irritation, and turned to start walking across to the orchard at a really fast walk.

"Where you goin'?" Brian called after me.

"Just for a walk. I'll be back," I hollered back to him.

I'd been sitting under one of the peach trees for awhile when Kenny came walking over to sit down beside

me.

"Hey," he said, in greeting.

"Hi," I said, and it made me feel better just to see his face. "I didn't hear you drive up."

Kenny's still having some problems with some of the boys at school, who won't let go of what Kenny did last summer, or the fact

that he spent time in the boy's home. And, though his father is making improvements in his cancer treatment, Kenny still has

all of that to worry about, too. But, he mostly always seems positive about things. He's a bit quieter than he used to be, and not as rowdy as the old

happy-go-lucky Kenny, but he still smiles. And, it's a great smile.

"I've gotta help my mom do some stuff in the attic today," he told me. "Lift and tote stuff for her. So, I had to come over now

instead of after supper like I planned."

"That's okay," I told him. "I'm just glad you came."

Kenny reached down and took my hand, lacing his fingers thru mine.

"How is your mom?" I asked. I've always liked Kenny's mother. She's a real old-fashioned Southern belle.

"She's doin' alright," Kenny said. "She wants you to come over for supper soon."

We talked for a few minutes about his parents, and then he asked, "How're things around here?"

"Brian thinks D.C. is depressed. And I need two new tires for my truck. And I got dizzy today on my ride with Ford, and

now everybody's all wigged out about my diabetes."

I finished my tirade, and Kenny widened his eyes. "Wow. That's a lot."

"Sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to unload on you."

"It's okay. Have you tried riding D.C. yet?" he asked.

"No. I was giving him more time. Besides, he doesn't even seem to really like me much. He responds way better to Brian and

Evan than he does to me. Why?" I asked curiously.

"Maybe he misses being ridden."

I crinkled my forehead at Kenny. "What do you mean?"

"Well, he _was_ a race horse," Kenny reminded me. "Maybe since he's gotten built up a little with some good feed, and had

some of his medical stuff taken care of, he might wanna run again. Or at least be ridden."

I was quiet, thinking that over, and Kenny said, "You could try it. Or have Evan get on him and try, if you don't think he

wants you on his back. Maybe he'd start havin' interest in life again."

"It's a good idea," I said, and smiled at him. "I'll try it."

We sat in stillness for a few minutes, and Gus came over to lay beside us. Kenny reached out to rub Gus behind his ears. He

looked over at where Warrior was sitting, close to the house, just staring at us with a dog stare.

"Warrior still remembers," Kenny said, sounding regretful. "He won't come near me."

I knew Kenny was referring to the summer, when he'd kicked Warrior in the meadow late one night, while he'd been out

with those men who were capturing the Mustangs. And, then, Warrior had bitten Kenny, and one of the other men had nicked

Warrior with his gun.

"He'll come around you, sometime," I said, and squeezed his hand.

"I hope so. Maybe, when I come over next time, I'll bring him somethin'. A big, juicy ham bone."

"It's worth a try," I said. "We'll have to make sure that you're the one who actually gives it to him, so he'll associate it

with you."

The back door flapped open. "Harlie! Time for supper!"

I turned to look, and wave at Clare. "Okay!"

"Hi, Kenny!" Clare hollered to Kenny.

Kenny stood up, and called back, "Hey, Clare!"

I stood up, too, as Clare went back inside, the door flapping closed behind her.

"You can't stay for supper?" I asked.

"Naw. I gotta help my mom, like I said. Or else she'll be tryin' to lift all that stuff by herself."

"Okay."

Kenny nodded toward the back door. "How's Clare? She looks good."

"Yeah. She's not showing yet, or anything. But, the morning sickness is better."

"That's good." He took both my hands, and faced me. "I'll see ya at school tomorrow, huh?"

"I'll be there," I said, and we smiled at each other.

"Okay."

"Okay."

Kenny leaned forward and gave me a quick kiss. Nothing too much. "See ya," he said.

"See ya," I echoed.

I went in thru the back door, to the kitchen, where everybody was milling around, washing up, or sitting down to

the table.

"Kenny's not staying?" Clare asked me, as she walked past, and I went to wash my hands.

"No. He has to help his mom. She's cleaning out their attic," I said.

"Oh, Lord," Brian said, and I knew he was remembering when we'd all had to clean out our attic, to prepare it for

remodeling for he and Clare to live in.

"Kenny didn't want his mom lifting all the stuff by herself," I said, thinking to myself what a good guy Kenny really was.

Hannah smiled at me as I slid into my seat at the table. "I'm glad Kenny's there, and that he wants to help," she said.

I knew she was thinking of last summer, when Kenny had been drinking so much, and gotten swayed into trouble, and

had _not_ been present to help his parents, either physically or emotionally.

"Me, too," I said.

**7**

I wasn't doing so well in my classes. I'd been too busy having fun lately. Just keeping pace was hard enough, so I definitely wasn't

getting ahead with anything. And, I'd started to lose pace now.

That night, I was tucked up in my bed, leaning against the head board, and scribbling at an article on the new archery

club at the high school. I'd promised McQ, the journalism teacher, that I would have it done by the next day.

It was around 8:45, and there was a quick rap of knuckles on my door.

I said 'come in' without raising my head from my hurried writing.

"Hey," Adam said, standing at the opened door.

"Hi," I said, still not looking up.

He crossed the small room over to stand beside the bed.

"What are you workin' on?" he asked.

"An article for the school paper. For journalism class."

"Uh huh. Well, it's time to wrap it for the night," he said.

"Okay. I'm almost done," I said.

Adam reached down, and took the pen from my hand, as I looked up at him.

"You're done now. For tonight," he said.

He looked a bit _stern._

"Okay," I said, starting to stack up all the loose papers spread around me.

Some of the papers fell onto the floor as I was moving my legs, and Adam leaned over to pick them up. Straightening them,

and then handing them to me.

"Brian says your tires are gettin' bad," he said.

"Yeah," I said, with a sigh.

I stood up, trying to unkink my legs. I'd sat cross-legged for too long.

"I'll call Jake for you, and have him look at what he's got down at the shop right now. He might need to order some in."

"Okay," I said, still thinking of my lack of funds. I took my stack of papers to lay them on my dresser, where the rest of my

school stuff was. "Is there like-_used_ tires that a person can buy?" I asked.

"Yeah. Sometimes. But, in most cases you're not gettin' a tire any better than the one you're takin' off," Adam said.

I stood there, and we just looked at each other for a few moments.

"I don't have a lot of money saved up," I said. "I was thinking, maybe, the tires could wait-another month or so."

Adam was shaking his head. "No, Harlie."

I sighed. "It was just an idea," I said.

"It's a safety issue, sugar. I haven't looked at 'em myself, but, according to Brian, there's not much waiting time left on

those tires. We don't want you having a blowout on a road somewhere."

"Is this one of those things that I can use some of the money in my savings account for?" I asked, hopefully.

"I'd say it is," he said, and I nodded, relieved.

"Okay."

That would solve the money issue of buying the tires. But, like I said, my _actual_ cash supply is really low. Buying gas

and contributing to the family vehicle insurance bill every month about used up what I did have. (And with D.C. being

my major drain of cash). I'd barely had enough to give any share for Evan and Nancy's wedding present. Daniel, Guthrie, Ford

and I had decided to chip in together and buy them two really nice floor lamps, and a microwave. Daniel had covered

part of my share as it was.

"My money supply is really low," I said, cautiously leading into what I wanted to say to Adam.

He chuckled. "Join the club, sug."

"I'm just not making _enough,"_ I said, going over to sit on the edge of my bed.

"I'm sure Ivy's payin' you what she's able to," he said. "I know Doc G paid you a lot more than what she is, but he

was way more established."

"Oh, I know that," I said quickly. "I didn't mean it was because of Ivy, or what I get paid." I knew very well that Doc G,

because he'd been so fond of me, had been extremely generous with his pay to me, and had, besides that, given

me occasional "bonuses", or padded my income just because he wanted to.

"I was thinking-" I began.

"Uh oh," Adam said, and he came over to sit down beside me on the bed.

"I was thinking about asking Ivy if I could work a couple of Saturdays a month, or something."

"Has she offered that to you?" he asked.

"No," I admitted. "But, I thought I could ask her."

Adam sighed, and looked contemplative, as though he was considering whether to say something or not.

"From what Crane says, Ivy's pretty strapped for cash herself," he said.

"Yeah. She's got student loans."

"She may not be able to swing any more hours for you," Adam said.

"Well," I said, slowly, "If she couldn't, maybe I could do something else on Saturdays."

"Such as?" he asked, raising one eyebrow.

"Work some shifts at the café, or maybe look for something in Angels Camp."

"I don't know, Harlie. You're stretched pretty thin right now as it is."

"I can handle it, Adam," I said, earnestly.

Adam looked doubtful. "Let me think awhile about it," he said. "We'll see how things go for a week or so. I don't like the fact

of you gettin' dizzy like you did today."

"I _knew_ this would happen," I said, before I thought. "That's why I didn't want to tell you."

Once I said that, the conversation changed. It turned into a _discussion._ A _lecture,_ if you want to call it that. Adam hadn't

really scolded me for awhile. But, he wound up now.

"A comment like that just freed me to _not_ have to do any of that thinkin' about you gettin' another job," he said. "If you

continue to think of the diabetes as a game to play with all of us, somethin' to hide like a little kid, not understanding

how _serious_ it can be-well, then, I reckon that you need to have more watchin' and less freedom."

I don't know if it was because I was tired, or that I'd been 'pushing it hard lately' as they say, but when I heard the

level of intensity in his tone, I just lost it. I caught my breath a little, and started to cry, covering my face with my hands.

After a couple of moments like that, he moved over another couple of inches, and wrapped his arms around me, tugging

me to his side. He didn't say anything at first, and it's not like I was sobbing and he had to wait for that to end.

"What are the tears for, exactly?" he asked me.

"Because-you're right about it not being a game to play," I managed.

"Then why? Why do you do this, Harlie?" he asked. He still sounded aggravated, but not rough. "Why do you treat it

like it's a game? Like it's negotiable?"

I kept my face against his chest, my fingers fiddling with one of the buttons on his shirt. "I don't know."

"Do you _want_ me to get angrier?" he asked, giving me a pull so I had to look at him.

"No!" I said.

"Do you need to be punished? Is that it?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No, sir."

"Alright. I asked you a question. I want you to answer it. And not with an 'I don't know' answer."

He had a grip on my upper arms, and was giving me one of those 'I mean total business' looks.

"I guess I act as though the diabetes isn't that big of a deal because-there's so _much_ I wanna do. So many things. It's so

frustrating when it gets in the way. It just makes me so _mad_ sometimes."

"I get that," he said. "Trying to hide it when you're not feelin' well, though, that's not okay. It's not acceptable."

"Okay," I said, looking at him tremulously.

"All of those great things that you want to do-you're not going to be able to _do_ any of them, if your diabetes gets out of

hand, because you'll be too sick," Adam said. Those words had me shaking. Both from the scary truth of what he

was saying, and also how really stern he was being in saying them. My eyes filled up anew, and I wished he would hug me

again.

"Am I makin' it clear enough to you?" he asked.

I nodded, feeling miserable. Adam seemed to take pity on me then, and he sighed, pulling me in tight again, against

his chest.

"If you're feelin' bad, then say so. If you need some help with it, then ask. Act your age with all of it. Take it

seriously. It doesn't have to _be_ your whole life, Harlie. But, it definitely has to be a part of it."

"Okay," I said.

We sat like that for a few more minutes. I don't know how long exactly. Finally, he patted my back and

said, "Have you done your shot?"

"Yeah."

"Need a snack?"

"I had some apple slices and peanut butter," I told him.

"Alright. Well, it's time you got some sleep, then." He patted me again, and disengaged my arms from his side.

When Adam had said good night, and gone out, turning off the light at he went, I curled up under my afghan, thinking that

I should feel horrible. Still miserable. But, for some weird reason, I felt better. It was almost as though having Adam give me a talking-to

like he had had released something inside me. I determined that I would do better, as far as my diabetes was concerned.

**SBFSB**


	4. Surprise

When I got finished at school the next day, and left to go to the vet office, I was still feeling better than I had for awhile.

Somehow, I felt more settled, more _directed,_ after Adam had talked to me.

Ivy's roof had been finished. It had only taken the McFadden group three days to do it. Ivy had talked to the sheriff

about the crew that left her in the lurch. Nothing had been heard about it, though, as far as I knew.

Ivy was outside, in the back, when I got there, and went to locate her. She was wearing high rubber boots, and

dirty jeans, and a shirt that had _Ross U. of Veterinary Medicine_ on the front. She was hosing off the back concrete pad.

She greeted me with a smile. "Hey, Harlie, how was your day?"

"It was actually good," I said. "I got a high B on a quiz in Anatomy for once."

"That's terrific," she said, and I could tell she really meant it.

"Yeah. It's a change for me. I wasn't doing so well."

"Anatomy's a pretty tough class, huh?" she asked.

"It has been," I said. "I'm hoping it gets better from here on out. Crane's gonna be happy when I tell him about

the quiz today."

"I bet he will be," Ivy said, and smiled again. "He's awfully proud of you, Harlie."

I felt a burst of gladness when she said that. It made me feel happy that Crane sometimes discussed with her that he

felt proud of me.

"Sometimes I think he shouldn't be," I said. "I give him a lot of grief with my grades sometimes."

Ivy went to the hydrant to push the handle down. "I doubt he feels that way about it," she said.

She began rolling up the water hose. "The Pearson's are bringing in two of their horses. Are you ready to do

some teeth floating today?"

"Yeah. I'll go change," I told her, and went to do that.

We had a really busy afternoon. The Pearson's horses took most of the time up, with one needing his teeth floated,

and the other needing a cut on his leg to be checked out. After we'd finished, and were cleaning up, Ivy went to

take two Cokes from the small office refrigerator.

She paused to look over at me, where I'd sat down in one of the office chairs to rest.

"Want a Coke?" she asked me.

I was tempted. Oh, so tempted. But, I knew it wasn't the best choice. It just wasn't worth it. All that sugar. And, I wanted

to be able to tell Adam that I'd held strong and refrained. Even though he hadn't specifically gotten onto me for poor

eating and drinking choices in his talk to me, I figured he would be impressed that I'd turned the Coke down.

"No. Thanks," I said. I held up the cup in my hand. "I'll just stick with my water."

"Oh, gosh, Harlie,," she said. "There I go, forgetting again. I'm sorry."

"It's alright," I said, quickly.

"There's some juice," Ivy said, peering back into the tiny refrigerator. "How about that?"

"Sometimes juice has as much sugar as soda," I said. "I'll just drink water. It's fine."

"I didn't think of that. About the juice being so sugary, I mean," Ivy said, closing the door to the fridge and going to sit

at her desk chair. "I'm thinking that I don't know nearly enough about diabetes."

"It's not something that's really at the top of the fun list to learn," I said, with a grin.

"You seem to have a really good attitude about it," Ivy observed.

I shook my head a little. "The family wouldn't agree with you on that point."

"Maybe you're too hard on yourself," she said.

"No," I said, honestly, "Sometimes my attitude about it is _really_ horrible. Then somebody has to talk to me, and

get me straight again."

"Adam?" she asked.

"Mostly. Sometimes Crane. Even Ford got into the act yesterday."

"He did?"

"Yeah," I said, taking another long drink.

"It just amazes me," Ivy said. "The way your family manages to-do everything they do, and meet the needs of

so many people. It's like you all work together, to help make each other a success."

"I guess we are like that," I said, feeling a sense of pride that someone out of our circle viewed us that way.

Thinking along that line, of her being 'out of our circle', got me to thinking. Naturally enough. I knew that she and Crane

were seeing each other. Fairly often, too. Like, I didn't know _every_ single time that they went out together, or anything, but

I knew it was often. And, though Ivy's face always lit up at the mention of Crane's name, she didn't spend her time

talking about him, or telling me any details, or such. So, anyway, I wondered if maybe it would become serious between

she and Crane, and maybe, at some point, she might be considered to be 'in our circle' of McFaddens. As in, an official

McFadden. I supposed that only time would tell on that.

**7B47B**

I drove home, thinking that it was cooler that it had been lately. Maybe 'fall' was coming. I was thinking out my schedule

of when I got home. Things to do before supper. And then things after.

When I pulled up and parked in my usual spot, I got out, gathering up all my school stuff.

I had my head stuck into the cab of the truck, grabbing things, when I heard a whistle. I stepped out, looking around, and saw

the source of the whistling. Adam was standing at the corner of the barn, holding a hammer in one hand.

I waved at him, and he beckoned to me with his free hand.

I slung my backpack over my shoulder, and scooped up the clothes I'd worn to school, and went walking over to Adam.

"Hey, there," he said, in greeting.

"Hey."

"How was your day?" he asked.

I could tell he was still scrutinizing me closely, and I knew that was to see how I was feeling, how I was faring, whether I was

okay. _Okay_ as in "okay" by Adam's standards.

"It was a good day," I told him. "I got a good grade on a quiz," I said, triumphantly, with a grin.

"Good for you. How are you feelin' today? Any problems?"

I met his gaze, and for the first time in awhile, I wasn't irritated by somebody asking about my health, or wondering

about my diabetes.

I stepped closer to him, and squinted my eyes against the sun. "No problems," I said.

He nodded in acceptance of my answer, and I said, "I even rose above the temptation of a cold Coke at Ivy's. I stuck with

ice water, instead."

"Did you, now?" he asked, with a smile.

"Yep," I said, and said, teasing, "Aren't you proud of me?"

"I _am_ proud," he said. "Darn proud."

"How was _your_ day?" I asked him, turning the tables.

"Good," he said, and then added, "You've got a surprise comin'."

"A good one, or not good?" I asked.

"A good one, sugar."

"What?" I asked, curious.

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you now," Adam said, looking amused. For the first time, I noticed the animation

in his expression. He looked relaxed-he looked pleased-

"Tell me," I said.

"Daniel's comin'," Adam said.

For a moment I was stunned. It had been not quite three weeks since Evan and Nancy's wedding, and Daniel had been home.

I had figured that he wouldn't be home until Thanksgiving, if even then. He hadn't made it home last year at Thanksgiving, but had,

instead, waited until closer to Christmas, when Isaac was due to be born.

"Are you kidding?" I asked Adam, even though I knew he wouldn't joke about something like this.

"Nope," he said, with a grin.

"When?" I asked, feeling breathless.

"Tonight, I think. Probably real late."

"Well-" I said, my thoughts jumping all around. "Why? I mean, so soon?"

Adam shook his head. "I don't know, sugar. Hannah's the one that talked to him when he called earlier."

"I mean-it doesn't matter, I'm just glad," I said.

"Me, too," Adam said, and I could tell that he really was. There's nothing he likes more than having everybody all together,

under one roof. I thought of Ford, having just left the afternoon before, and Adam, intuitive as always said,

"We'll call Ford, see if he can come home next weekend. Daniel should still be around."

"Yeah," I said, feeling glad about Ford. "That will be a fun weekend."

"It will," he agreed. "I think Hannah's in there now, cookin' up a storm before Daniel gets here."

"I bet she is," I said. "I was gonna work with D.C., but maybe I oughta go in and see if she needs help, huh?"

"Maybe so," he said. "Don't wait until too late to do your homework, though. I still want you goin' to bed before

ten tonight."

"Okay," I said, feeling agreeable. Probably, in large part because I was so happy about Daniel coming.

I tossed my stuff onto the couch when I went inside, and went to the kitchen. As predicted, Hannah was there,

making homemade cinnamon rolls.

"Hi," I greeted her, resting my hands on the back of one of the chairs.

"Hi there, sweetie," she said. "We have some good news-"

"I saw Adam," I said. "He told me. This is the greatest thing!"

"Yes, it's pretty great, alright," she said in agreement.

"When is he gonna be here?" I asked. "Tonight?"

"He wasn't sure, exactly. He said it depended on some things. Tonight, or during the night, or maybe early tomorrow."

"He must be stopping somewhere," I mused. "Not driving straight thru."

"Maybe so."

"Does this mean he's not coming for Thanksgiving?" I asked. "Since he's coming now, I mean?"

"I don't know, hon. He didn't get into any of that when he called. We really just talked for literally five minutes. He said he

was on his way here, and that he couldn't wait to see everybody, and-to tell _you_ to please make him some no-bake cookies."

I grinned. "Did he say that, really?"

Hannah nodded. "He did."

"Well, I'm make them, then," I said. "I can do it now, before supper, or do you want me to wait until later?"

"You can do it now," she said. "I got some chili out of the freezer to heat up for supper. I'm going to finish these

cinnamon rolls. Hopefully, there will be some left for breakfast."

"Yeah," I said, and went to wash my hands and start getting out ingredients for the cookies. "Do you think maybe

Guthrie and I could go in late to school tomorrow? I mean, if Daniel just gets here in the morning, and then we have to

turn around and leave right away-"

Hannah raised her eyebrows, but I could tell she was trying not to smile. "Ask Adam," she said.

I had the cookies finished, and on wax paper by the time everybody came in for supper. I'd been doing my homework

at the table, and I was scrambling to put everything out of the way so the table could be set. Clare came in around that time, too.

She'd been helping at the doctor's office in Angels Camp, for just a couple days of work, since the regular office nurse was

out sick. Clare had thought it would be a good opportunity, and when she'd left this morning, she had been excited, and her face

had been bright in good spirits.

She didn't look so bright now. She looked tired, and drawn, and-well, as if she ridden on a rollercoaster, and found that

it had been just too much.

Brian greeted her at the door, and I knew immediately that there was going to be an upset of sorts.

As she and Brian walked into the kitchen, Clare went to wash her hands. Hannah was asking her how her day had gone,

and Clare said how busy it had been, with lots of sick kids.

"Sick with what?" Brian was asking, standing right beside Clare at the sink.

"The flu, colds, belly aches from too much candy-you name it," Clare said, sounding weary.

"I don't like the idea of it. You bein' around all those little germy kids," Brian said. "It's not good for you."

"There's germs everywhere," Clare said.

"Not as many, though, here at home," Brian said.

"Can we talk about it later, Brian?" Clare said, giving him a look that suggested he would be wise to agree.

"Yeah. We'll talk about it," Brian answered, and you could just hear the tautness in his tone.

Talk centered around Daniel coming. He would bunk with Crane, as was usual when he was home. I asked Adam about

school the next morning, about Guthrie and I going in late, or whatever.

Adam looked as though he was considering it, and he looked towards Brian and Crane. Brian said he didn't have

a problem with it, but Crane, predictably, wasn't so up for the idea.

"You'll see him when you get home in the afternoon," he said.

"Oh, man, Crane, come on," Guthrie coaxed. "It's not like we'll miss that much in a couple of hours."

"That's right," I said, backing Guthrie up.

"Alright," Crane said, giving in, and Guthrie and I exchanged triumphant glances. Whoot whoot!

**7B**

Daniel still wasn't home by the time I went to bed, and when I woke up the next morning, the door to Crane's bedroom was

closed. I didn't want to wake Daniel up, if he was sleeping from getting in so late. It took restraint, but I didn't even peek in at him.

I went down to breakfast, where Hannah, Adam, Crane and Evan were sitting at the table. Guthrie was standing at the toaster, waiting

for the bread to pop up for another two slices.

Past the 'good mornings', I said, "What time did Daniel get here?"

"He's not here yet, sweetie," Hannah said.

"What?" I asked, feeling worried. "Why? Did he call?"

"He called," Crane said. "He said he likely wouldn't be here until this afternoon now."

I shot a look at Guthrie, and he shrugged in response, to show that he didn't know anything, either.

"I think he's just taking his time getting here," Hannah said. "We don't want him pushing it."

Of course I didn't want Daniel driving if he was too tired. Or speeding, or anything like that. Still, it was gonna be a long day,

waiting to see him when I finally got home.

Guthrie was cracking jokes about how he still ought to go in late to school.

"By the time Daniel gets here, there wouldn't be any school day left," Adam pointed out.

"Exactly, my plan," Guthrie said, reaching for the strawberry jelly.

"Good try, but no sale," Crane told him.

**SBFSB**


	5. And awaaaaay we go

The day was long, predictably. I kept thinking ahead to the weekend, with Daniel and Ford both home, and how it would mean

we were _all_ together. Even though it had only been three weeks, and we usually have longer than that between total group

times, I was just really happy.

I was figuring that I would have to make another batch of no-bake cookies. I knew it was likely that Guthrie had gotten into the

others and eaten a bunch.

I was full of chatter as Ivy and I worked together. There weren't any real appointments in the book, but we had a drop in

of a cat in the throes of beginning labor. Judy Jenkins was eight years old, and worried about her cat, so her grandmother

drove her and the expectant mother cat down to the office.

Ivy took a look at the mother cat, and assured Judy that all was well. The cat actually delivered the litter of kittens

right there, at the office, and Ivy made a comfortable place for them. A wicker basket, and with soft sheets I got from

the shelf.

Judy's grandmother convinced Judy to leave the mother cat and kittens overnight at the vet office, instead of moving them

so soon. It took some convincing for sure, because Judy had a major meltdown, practically throwing herself onto the floor of the

office. She hollered and fussed, even though her grandmother reminded her that they had to go out of town for the evening, and

that the cat and her kittens would be better off at the vet office.

Finally, though, Mrs. Jenkins succeeded in getting Judy into the car, though the grandma looked worse for the wear of it all and nearly getting

kicked in her face by Judy's flying feet.

"Whoo-" Ivy said, as we closed the door behind them, and stood, looking at each other.

"Yeah," I said, in agreement. We were both thinking the same thing.

"My gosh-" Ivy said. "I need a cold drink after that-"

She went to the fridge and took out a jug of lemonade, and turned, holding it up to me.

"I got lemonade for us," she said. "Is that something you can drink?"

"Yeah. I can," I said, thinking how very nice she really was.

"Great," she said, and went to pull two glasses down from the cabinet. As she did that, I saw the coffee cup that had belonged

to Doc G, just to the side.

"Doc G always drank his coffee out of that cup," I said, with a gesture.

"He liked coffee, didn't he?" Ivy asked.

"Oh, yeah, he had to have his coffee, every day."

"Does it bother you, seeing it there?" she asked. "I mean, if it does, we can move it-"

"No, it's okay," I said quickly. I took the glass of lemonade that she handed me. "It's actually kind of nice. Like he's still

here, I mean. I know that sounds foolish-"

"I don't think it sounds foolish," Ivy defended. "Not at all." She sat down on the edge of the desk, high enough that her feet could swing.

"You had an amazing relationship with him, didn't you?" Ivy asked.

"Yeah. He was an amazing person," I said.

"Do you mind talking about him?" she asked.

"Not usually. Sometimes," I admitted.

We both drank on our lemonades, for a few moments, and then I said, "If Doc G would have seen Judy throw a fit like that,

here in his office, he would have-" I hesitated, thinking.

"What would he have done?" Ivy asked, sounding amused.

"Well, he wouldn't have _done_ anything, except he might have told Mrs. Jenkins she should approach Judy a different way," I said.

"Oh," Ivy said, smiling, in understanding.

"He never had any kids of his own," I said. "But, he would have been a great father."

"I'll bet he would have," Ivy said, quietly.

"If I would have acted like that when I was eight, or ten, or any age, I would have gotten spanked right where I was," I said.

"Would you have?" she asked.

When I nodded, she said, "Did they spank you a lot, when you were little?"

"No," I said. "Not _a lot._ Usually, they didn't have to go that far. Mostly, they could just look at me, and I'd behave."

"Do you think that worked for you, getting raised that way?" she asked.

"I guess it did. None of us have ever been in any real trouble, I mean, not with the law or anything. I think it made the difference,

mostly though, because I knew that they _would_ spank, if they needed to. So, sometimes that was enough of a deterrent to not

act like a brat."

For a moment, Ivy was quiet. Then she said, "Like I said yesterday, your family seems to meet the needs of each other. It's really

quite amazing."

I thought she sounded sort of funny. Strange. I studied her, remembering that she'd told me that her own parents had been

very much older when she was born, and that they'd thought they would never have a child. Therefore, she'd been indulged, for the most

part. I figured that meant she'd never been upended over anybody's knee. Still, she seemed to have turned out just fine.

I didn't want her thinking that the McFadden males were a bunch of child beaters, though. Or thinking that Crane, if they did

end up together, would spank their kids day and night.

"They weren't _ever_ cruel," I said, hastily. "They never crossed a line, or anything. And, Crane hardly ever did any of it, with

any of us. He's talks-and he lets you know that he's disappointed in you. And, with him, that's worse sometimes."

Ivy seemed to know what I was getting at. She smiled at me, and her green eyes were all lit up.

"Oh, Harlie, you don't have to sell me on Crane. I know if he ever did-well, he probably thought it was necessary. He has

the biggest heart, and so much soul and feeling inside of him. He's an extraordinary person."

Her voice was hushed, and sort of-reverent, if that makes sense. I sat there, watching her, and I knew right then,

at that moment, that Ivy was in love with Crane. Deeply in love with him.

**SBFSB**

As soon as my time was up at Ivy's, I left promptly at four. I drove as fast as I was to, intent on getting home.

I saw Daniel's red truck, parked up by the house, before I even turned into our long driveway.

I sped up the driveway, raising the dust. I didn't even take time to grab my clothes, or backpack, like I usually did.

I got out as soon as I'd shut off the motor, intent on making a bee-line for the house.

I heard a loud whistle from the porch, and Daniel stood there, his feet bare, and his hair way too long. The wolf whistle

made me grin, and I didn't waste any time. Daniel was down the steps by that point, and we met up at the bottom.

"Hullo, squirt," Daniel said, and swept me off my feet, with a massive hug.

"Hi!" I said, giving him just as hard of a squeeze as he was giving me.

"Been waitin' around here for you to get home," he said, setting me on my feet, but still hanging onto me.

"I drove way too fast to get here," I said, grinning at him. "Did you get some of the cookies I made for you?"

"Two," he said, looking properly saddened. "_Two,_ squirt. That's all there was."

I smiled at him again, laughing at his mock sad face. "Guthrie made a pig of himself. I'll make you some more."

"Alright, good. And Guthrie gets none."

"How was your drive? Long, huh?" I said.

"Yeah. Long," he said.

We stood surveying each other for a long few moments.

"You look good," he said.

"You look good, too. How come you're home so soon again?" I asked.

"What?" he asked, stepping back and pressing a hand to his chest as if I'd hurt him. "You think I'm here too soon? I

can go back if you're not glad to see me-"

"No!" I said, going along with his joking. "It was just a question. That's all. Of course I'm glad to see you!"

He squeezed me again, with the arm that was around my waist.

"I've got a sort of a surprise," he said, then.

"What is it?" I demanded.

"I brought somebody home with me."

"Red?" I asked, happily, leaping to the first plausible conclusion.

"No. Not Red," Daniel said. "A girl."

For a moment, more than a moment, I was surprised enough that I didn't say anything at all. I widened my eyes. Daniel's

never been one to bring a girl around the family. Most of his dating relationships were casual ones. He just usually kept his

dating separate from the family activities.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah. Really," he said, and gave me a dig in my ribs. "What's so shocking about that?" he demanded.

"Nothing," I said, quickly. "I'm just surprised, is all. I mean-nobody said anything-"

"That's because they didn't know, either," Daniel said. "I thought it'd be a surprise for everybody."

"Oh," I said. "Well, where is she? Inside the house?"

"Yeah. She's sleepin' right now." Daniel stepped back a little. "It's sure good to see ya," he said, and then

added, teasing, "Even if you do think it's too soon for me to visit-"

"Stop it," I said, poking him in his side. As we went up the porch steps, I said, "I'm kinda nervous, about meeting

her."

"You don't need to be," he said, still holding onto my hand.

"Wait, what's her name?" I asked, realizing that he hadn't said, and I hadn't asked.

"Oh, yeah," he said, with a grin. "I guess I didn't say, did I? Her name's Jill. Jill Clark." And, the way he said that. Said her name, I

mean. It reminded me of the way that Ivy had spoken about Crane earlier, with a light in her eyes and love in her voice.

As if-no, it couldn't be that way, I thought.

After all, Daniel hadn't even mentioned this girl to anybody when he was home just three weeks ago. There's no way he

could be really _serious_ about this girl. Jill.

I was hanging out in the kitchen with Daniel, as he ate two of Hannah's cinnamon rolls, and then while he held Isaac.

Everybody started filtering in slowly. Adam, first, and then Crane.

"You're in early tonight," Hannah said, leaning up to give Adam a kiss.

"Yeah. We wrapped up early. Got to spend some time with this guy," Adam said, reaching out to rub his knuckles over

Daniel's head, affectionately.

"Look at Isaac," Hannah said to Adam, pointing to the baby in Daniel's arms. "He knows Daniel now. He went right to

him earlier when he got up from his nap." Hannah turned to look at Daniel. "Usually, now, he's not like that. He's starting to

get where he's really particular about who he wants to hold him."

"I'm glad he's okay with me holdin' him," Daniel said, looking at the baby with fondness. Crane was stirring up a pitcher of

tea, and when he passed by Daniel, he reached out to pat Daniel on the face. I knew Crane was just as glad as I was that Daniel

was home.

"Evan said he and Nancy would be down for supper," Hannah was saying. "After Nancy got home from work, and changed

her clothes, and all."

"Great," Adam said, with satisfaction. He went to pour himself a handful of peanuts from the Planters jar on the table. "Did you call

Ford?" he asked Daniel.

"I left a message for him, at the dorm," Daniel said. "He was in class when I called."

Isaac was resting his head on Daniel's shoulder, sucking his thumb, and looking as though his eyes were closing.

"He's tired," Hannah said. "Daniel and he have been playing for the last two hours. I'll take him up and put him down for a nap."

She laid her paring knife down from where she'd been chopping up green peppers.

"I'll do it," Daniel said, and Hannah smiled.

"Okay," she said.

Daniel went out of the kitchen, heading up the back stairs, and we could hear him talking to Isaac in a quiet voice

the whole way.

Once he was gone, Crane sat down at the table with his glass of tea, and Adam came over to lean against the counter,

where I'd hitched myself up to sit.

I looked at the three of them, and said, in a hushed tone, "So-what's she like?"

They exchanged looks between them, and Hannah spoke first. "Well, we didn't get to talk long. They didn't get here

until after eleven this morning, and she was tired, so she went to lay down."

"You mean, she's been sleeping all afternoon?" I asked.

"Harlie, you know it's a long, tiring drive-you've said so, yourself," Hannah reminded me.

"Oh, I know," I said quickly. "I didn't really mean anything. When you did get to talk to her, though, what's she

like?"

"Well, she's very pretty. Dark hair. She's bubbly, and seems to be outgoing," Hannah said.

"Is she young, or older?" I asked.

Hannah looked at Crane and Adam. "What do you two think? I'd say she's around Daniel's age, wouldn't you?"

Crane nodded, and Adam said, "Yeah. I'd say so."

I looked at Crane. "What did you think of her, Crane?"

"Well, she's bubbly, like Hannah said."

Adam was popping peanuts into his mouth. He was close enough that I could hook my arm thru his. "What did you think?"

"Sugar, I don't know," he said. "I only talked to her for probably twenty minutes, before I went back out to work. It's hard to

tell anything about a person in twenty minutes."

Daniel was coming back down the stairs again, just as Brian was coming in the back door, letting the screen flap shut.

"Hey, you," Brian greeted Daniel, hooking his arm around Daniel's neck. "You need a haircut, boy."

"Yeah, I know," Daniel said, pushing his dark hair off of his forehead.

"Hannah, I don't think those hair clippers of yours are gonna get the job done this time," Brian said. "I think we

might need to get the sheep shears out instead. What do you think, Crane?"

Crane laughed. "We might have to," he agreed.

**SBFSB**


	6. Tamales and talking

Evan and Nancy showed up shortly afterwards, and we were all still hanging around in the kitchen. Sort of strung out all over, in chairs, and

leaning against counters. There were several conversations going on all at the same time.

Hannah had taken tamales out of the oven, and, before everybody started sitting down around the table, she asked Daniel

if he wanted to go upstairs and wake Jill, so she could eat with us.

"Or we can put a plate back for her, if you think she'd rather eat later," Hannah was saying.

Daniel said he'd go up and see, and when he'd gone out of the kitchen, Guthrie reached for a tamale, and said,

"I wanna get a look at this chick."

"Guthrie," Hannah remonstrated, and even though she didn't say specifically, Guthrie knew what she meant.

"Okay," he said, "_Girl,_ then. I wanna get a look at this _girl."_

"How long's Daniel gonna stay?" Evan asked.

"I don't know," Hannah said, looking at Adam. "He didn't really say. Did he say anything to any of you?" She looked around

the table, and Brian and Adam both shook their heads.

"He hasn't said anything to me about it yet," Crane said.

"At least a week, though," I said, looking down the table at Adam. "Because Ford's going to come home on the weekend, right, Adam?"

"That's the plan, I think," Adam said.

"We'll just ask him when he comes back down," Crane said.

When Daniel came back, he was by himself. He slid into his chair at the table.

"She'll be down after a bit," he said, and reached for a tamale.

"Did she get some rest?" Hannah asked him.

"Yeah. She said she did."

"That's good," Hannah said, and then I saw her give Adam sort of a look that spoke without words.

"How long you get to stay around?" Adam asked him.

"Well," Daniel said, around his mouthful of tamale, "That's not really set in stone right now. I just thought-we'd sort

of play it by ear, ya know?"

"Right," Adam said. "Well, that works."

"Yeah. I wanna take Jill around-introduce her to some people, and show her some of the sights around here. And, I want her

to get to know all of you," Daniel said.

There were some nods of assent around the table at his statement, and then Brian, blunt as always, said, "So, you got some

vacation time comin', from the place you're playin' at regular?"

"The Palamino Club," Daniel supplied. "Yeah. Sort of."

Even I thought that was a weird answer, and I waited for Brian to continue his questions.

"What's 'sort of'?" Brian demanded, not disappointing me. "You got vacation time or not?"

"I'm takin' some time off from there," Daniel said.

Nobody said anything for a few moments. I knew in the summer that when Daniel had been home, he'd been on a sort of

a hiatus or whatever from the club. Then, he'd gone back to Nashville at the end of the summer, and signed another contract

to keep playing there.

"What about Red?" I asked him, from across the table. "Is he gonna play for someone else until you go back to The Palamino Club?"

"I don't know for sure," Daniel said.

Guthrie and I exchanged a quick look between us. We're both really fond of Red, well, the whole family is, and apparently

Guthrie thought that Daniel's answer was less than satisfactory. (_Just like I did)._

"How come you don't know what Red's doin'?" Guthrie demanded.

"We haven't discussed all the details," Daniel said.

_The details of what? _ That was what Guthrie and I were both thinking.

After that, though, the conversation turned to a leaky faucet at Evan and Nancy's cabin, and then, in the midst of

that, Jill made her entrance. Well, I call it an entrance. She stood at the doorway of the kitchen. She'd come down the other

stairs and thru the living room, instead of taking the back stairs. But, I guess maybe she didn't know about the quicker way

to get to the kitchen.

And, it was an entrance. Because she stood there, waiting for everybody to notice her. At least, that's how it seemed to me,

later on, when I had time to think over the events of the evening. Every single male McFadden stood up, too, when she come into

the kitchen. Even Guthrie.

"Hey," Daniel said, getting up quickly, and going over to where she stood. She was wearing jeans and a lacy white shirt that showed

a bit of her belly. Her very, very flat belly.

"Hello, everyone," she said, with a deep Southern accent.

Daniel wrapped an arm around her waist, and turned to face the table full of McFaddens. "Let's see, you met Adam and Hannah, earlier,

and Brian, right? And Clare?"

"Yes. And Crane, and Evan," Jill said.

"Okay, so the rest of the bunch here-this is Nancy," Daniel said, pointing towards Nancy. "Evan's wife."

"Hello," Jill said.

"Hi. It's nice to meet you," Nancy said.

Jill gave a brief nod, and then looked towards Guthrie and I. Waiting for Daniel, I guessed.

"This is my youngest brother and my sister. Guthrie, and Harlie," Daniel introduced us.

"Hi," Guthrie said, and I echoed with my own, "Hi."

Jill gave another nod to us, and Daniel led her over to the table, pulling out the empty chair beside his own. Jill sat down and

then after that, Daniel did too. All the other guys sat down again, as well.

"You're real tall, aren't ya?" Jill said, giving Guthrie a wide smile. I thought I'd never seen such perfect, white, straight

teeth before.

"Yeah," Guthrie said, looking half-embarrassed, and half-pleased. "I guess I am."

Jill's eyes lit onto me next. "I can't believe Daniel calls you by that nickname. _Squirt_, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I said, wondering what she meant.

"You shouldn't let him do it," Jill said. "You're so grown up-I would have thought you were about ten the way he

talks about you."

I wasn't sure if she was complimenting me, or insulting me. And, just _how_ exactly was it that Daniel talked about me to her?

I looked at Daniel, and raised my eyebrows at him in question.

Daniel just grinned at me, and then wrapped his arm around Jill's shoulders. "She'll always be 'squirt' to me. There's no

changin' that now."

"Daniel says you were able to get some rest," Hannah said then, to Jill.

"I was. Thanks for the use of your bedroom," Jill answered.

"Help yourself," Hannah said, gesturing to the plates of food.

"I'm not really hungry," Jill said. "I will have some iced tea, though." Crane pushed the pitcher closer, and Jill poured

some into the glass in front of her.

Hannah was asking Jill if there were certain things that she especially liked to eat, or things that she didn't like. While that

was going on, I was studying her. She was pretty, like Hannah had said earlier. But, not drop-dead gorgeous, like Clare and

Ivy. She was more average looking. Well, truthfully, she _was_ above average. She was real petite. Her hair was dark, long and straight,

like I'd always wished that mine was. Instead of the massive amount of curls that I had.

"Oh, I'll eat just about anything," Jill was saying.

When we were finished with supper, Hannah said we'd just stack the dishes, and she and Adam would do them later.

So, everybody went into the living room after that. Crane asked Jill some questions, about where she'd grown up at, and

about her family, but, for the most part, Jill seemed to brush off any questions. She said she was from Georgia, (hence the heavy

Southern accent), and had been in Nashville for a very short time. The queries about her family, though, she glossed over.

"My family's still down in Georgia," she said. "What's left of them, anyway." She turned her attention to Nancy, and began

asking about the line cabin.

"Daniel says it was in awful condition before, but that it's just adorable now," Jill was saying.

I personally didn't think that Daniel had said that anything was _adorable._ I mean, he just didn't talk that way. That was a

chick word, as Guthrie would say.

"It's really nice, now," Nancy said, in answer. "Evan and I love it."

"That's just great. I can't wait to see it," Jill said.

"Sure," Nancy said. "We'll figure out an evening-I work most of this week."

"Do you plan on continuing to work?" Jill asked her. "Now that you're married, I mean?"

Nancy was, at first, a bit surprised at the question. I could tell. She looked to her right at Evan, sitting beside her on the couch,

and then back to Jill. "Probably," Nancy said. "There's a lot that Evan and I need to do, and I don't mind working at the

feed store."

I thought it was nosy of Jill to ask that. I mean, none of us had even asked Nancy that question. That was her and Evan's business. And,

Jill had only just met us all, including Nancy. I told myself she was probably trying to be friendly. I'd stayed sort of quiet, trying to

observe her without being too noticeable about it.

I was sitting next to Guthrie on the floor, and when Crane got up at one point, he stopped beside the two of us.

"You two have homework? If so, you'd better get to it," he said.

"I've got some English," Guthrie said, with a sigh.

"How about you, peanut?" he asked me.

"I have a little," I said. It was more than a _little._ And, I knew that Crane knew that, too. And, that I knew that he knew.

"Well, say your goodnights, and get started on it. Both of you," he said.

After I'd been upstairs for a while, Crane came upstairs to check on me. And, I'm assuming, on Guthrie, too.

He stood in my half-open doorway. "How's it going?" he asked. "Anything you need help with?"

"I'm almost finished," I said. "If you want to check my trig, you can."

"If I _want_ to, huh?" he asked, teasing.

"If you would. Please," I amended.

Crane sat down on the bed, and began looking over my math homework. I sat up straight, stretching my back muscles.

"Is everybody still downstairs?" I asked.

"Uh huh," Crane said, not looking up from the math paper.

He finished, and flicked the paper with his fingers. "Six, nine and eighteen are wrong. See what you can do."

"Okay," I said, taking it from him, and circling the three problems with my pen.

Daniel was standing at the doorway now. "Homework finished?" he asked.

"The same as finished," I said, shoving the math sheet into the textbook, and motioning to him with my hand to come in.

Daniel came in, and Crane said, "I need to make a phone call." He tapped my math book. "Get those three fixed before class tomorrow."

"I will," I said. He smiled at me, and stood up, and then rubbed Daniel's shoulder as he passed by.

"_Sit down,_ Daniel," I ordered.

In response, Daniel came and plopped down beside me on the bed with the full force of his weight, causing my

book and papers to bounce around.

"Okay. I sat," he said, and I laughed.

Daniel leaned back so that he was half-lying down, resting his weight on his elbow. "How's the job with Ivy?" he asked.

"It's good."

"Big brother's pretty interested in Ivy, it seems like," Daniel said.

"I think so," I agreed. "Ivy cares a lot about him. I know that."

"Crane deserves to be happy."

"Yeah. He does," I said. I was studying Daniel as he lounged there, beside me. I brought my knees up to my chest, and

wrapped my arms around them. I was getting ready to ask Daniel, straight out, some things about Jill, but he beat me to

the punch.

"So, how's it goin' with Kenny?" he asked. "When I was here for the wedding you two had just made some decisions, right? Still

a couple?"

"Uh huh," I said.

"How is that?" he asked, looking at me with a serious expression now.

"Kenny's nice. I like him," I said, simply. "We have fun."

"He's not drinkin' anymore, like he was last summer," Daniel said, and it wasn't a question. More of a statement.

I shook my head. "He's not."

"I knew he wouldn't be, or the door would have been barred against him," Daniel said. "You've got a lot of

people watchin' out for ya."

"That's an understatement," I said.

He raised his eyebrow at me in challenge, but I moved on.

"Do you talk about me as though I'm ten?" I asked, raising my own eyebrow, and referring to what Jill had said earlier.

Daniel gave me a half-smile. "Maybe," he said. "I don't mean to do it. I'm not tryin' to insult ya or anything."

"Oh, I know that," I said, airily. "I'm just teasing you."

We exchanged a companionable smile and I spoke up. "How long have you known Jill?"

"Two weeks tomorrow," Daniel said.

"Two weeks?" I asked, and I guess I looked shocked, because he grinned, and said, "Well, we've been official for two weeks,

is I guess what I should say. She knew me before that, she says."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"She says she's heard me sing for the last couple of months, and that she was at the show almost every weekend to listen.

She never came up to introduce herself or anything. Until a couple of weeks ago."

"Oh," I said, thinking that she sounded like a music groupie. Daniel had had his share of those in the past, I knew that. And,

that was just the ones that I knew about. There had probably been far more that I _didn't_ know about. Things that Daniel hadn't

seen fit to tell me.

"Two weeks isn't very long," I felt obliged to point out. I tried to say it gently.

"Nope. It's not."

I wanted to ask Daniel why he'd brought her home, to California, after only dating her for two weeks. I mean, taking someone

around the family at all, and especially a longer visit like this one was to be, well that spoke of _seriousness._

"We ran into each other," Daniel was saying. "Literally. I was done with the last set one night, and I came around the corner

and-_bam,_ she was coming from the other way and I nearly knocked her down."

"Wow," I said.

"Yeah," he said, with this small smile. "She spilled her drink all over me."

I smiled back at him, because he just looked so darn happy. The expression on his face was again, very similar to the

expression that Ivy had on her face earlier when speaking about Crane.

**7BF7B**


	7. Girl talk

Daniel hung around for a while longer, just talking and hanging out with me. We were talking about other things by then, like

which teachers were left that he remembered from his own time at high school. I was in the middle of giggling at his imitation

of Mr. Burke, the government teacher. He had it down to a science, the way he mimicked Mr. Burke's voice and mannerisms.

"Hey, there," came a soft voice at the open doorway of my bedroom. I looked to see Jill standing there. She'd changed from her

jeans to a pair of loose fitting pajama bottoms, and a t-shirt. Not a t-shirt that I would wear, but one that was a plain peach color, and

tied off to the side of her waist, still showing a peek of that flat belly of hers.

"Hey," Daniel said.

"I was lookin' for ya," Jill said. "I didn't think you'd still be up here-"

"Sorry," Daniel said, and gave an easy grin that included both Jill and I. "When we get to talkin' it's hard to rein us in."

I gave Daniel a perturbed look. What was he saying _sorry_ for, exactly?

He didn't appear to take notice of that particular look I shot him. He stood up, and reached out to ruffle

a hand thru my hair. "Night, squirt. See ya in the morning."

I had reached up to smooth my curls back down. "Night," I said.

Jill was still pausing at the door, as Daniel passed by. "Go on," she told Daniel. "I want to have some girl talk with

your sister for a minute."

Daniel looked so happy it was like he found out that Kenny Rogers wanted him to go on tour with him, or something.

"Yeah, okay," he said. He flashed another grin towards me, and left.

"Okay if I come on in?" Jill asked me.

"Yeah. Sure," I said.

She came in, and instead of sitting down or anything, she meandered around the room, looking at my dolphin collection up on

the shelves near the ceiling.

"Dolphins, huh?" she asked.

"Uh huh."

"It's a real cute room," she said, then, pausing in the middle of the room, to turn and look at me, where I still sat, cross-legged

on the bed.

"Thanks."

"It's real small," she said, and my first thought was along the lines of, '_really? you think?'. _ But, I didn't say that. Of course I didn't.

"Yeah. It was either a small space of my own, or share a room with Guthrie growing up," I said.

"Are you serious?" she asked, widening her eyes.

I shrugged. "Kind of. We don't have an abundance of extra rooms around here."

"Ah," she said, in answer. She went, then, to pull the chair out from the desk, and turned it to face me, sitting

down as gracefully as if she thought the chair would buckle under her weight. Petite as she was, I thought she for sure had

no need to worry. Besides, that chair had held up many a McFadden male in its time.

"What's it like, havin' so many brothers?" she asked me.

Aw, gee. Now, there was a question I'd never been asked before. (Heavy sarcasm here). I've only been asked that like

a bajillion times in my life. Still, that wasn't Jill's fault. And, she probably was curious. I mean, it _is_ unusual, having seven

brothers.

"It's a pretty good thing, most of the time," I said.

"Really?" she asked, as if she thought that couldn't be right. "I would think one or two, maybe would be alright. But, seven?

That's like overkill."

I studied her, trying to figure out if she was joking or what.

Finally, I settled for a flip answer. "Well, they were all here already by the time I was born, so..." I shrugged. "I didn't have much to

say about it. Besides, I wouldn't want to give any of them up."

"Right," she said, with a little smile.

"Daniel talks about you a lot, ya know," she said.

I waited, not sure how to answer that. This whole conversation was sort of weird, I thought. Everything she said seemed to

have a hidden meaning between it.

"He does?" I asked, after a couple of long moments.

"Yeah. Like _a lot,"_ she reiterated. "He talks about all of ya'll, and about this house, and about this ranch, and all of that."

I felt a prickling of unease. Of something being _off. _

"I guess he must miss home sometimes," I said.

"Oh, I'm sure," she said, sounding breezy. "Daniel's made for better things, though, than spendin' his life hauling hay to

hungry cattle."

"There's a lot more to ranching than that," I said, indignantly. Now, she had riled me.

"Oh, I'm sure," she said, again. "It's just-Daniel's so talented, ya know?"

I nearly said sarcastically, that _gee no,_ I hadn't realized that Daniel was a talented musician. I mean, who the heck did she

think she was talking to?

I restrained myself, yet again, from sarcasm. (I really deserved some kudos for my restraint, I felt).

"He is," I said, instead. "He's very talented. But, I know for a fact that he loves ranching, too."

She nodded in response, apparently deciding not to continue with that thread of conversation.

"Daniel says you wanna be a veterinarian," she said next.

"Yeah. I do," I said.

"I just can't imagine-all those years at college," she said, and gave a mock shudder. "I barely finished high school. I just always

had other things that I'd rather have been doin', ya know?"

I was tired of this conversation. It was plenty _enough_ for our first little dip into the conversational pool.

"I think everybody feels that way about school at times ," I said, and then I made a point of getting up and going to

stack my books and papers on my desk. "I need to brush my teeth and stuff, and be gettin' to bed," I said, when it didn't seem

as though Jill was taking my paper stacking as a cue to go.

"Oh. Okay," she said, and to my relief, she stood up, and went to the doorway. Pausing, only, to say, "It was real interestin',

chattin' with ya, Harlie. Daniel wants us to be good friends, you and I." She gave me a smile, and then said, "Good night."

"Good night," I said.

I'd brushed my teeth, and was curled up in bed, the light already off, when there was a light tap on the door. Just one rap.

"Yeah?" I said.

The door opened, and the hall light made my room half-lit up.

Daniel stepped inside. "I didn't know if you were asleep," he said.

"No, not yet," I said, sitting up.

Daniel came over to my bed, and sat down on the edge. "You have your talk with Jill?" he asked.

That's when I knew, really _knew,_ for certain. And, I couldn't help the let-down feeling that came. I wished that I didn't have that

feeling of dread. But, I did.

"Yeah. We talked," I said.

"That's good," he said, sounding glad. "Well, I better let you get some sleep." He put a hand behind my neck, and pulled

me closer, kissing my forehead. "Night, squirt."

"Night, Daniel," I said.

**7BF7B**

The next morning at breakfast, Adam told me that Jake had called the night before, after I'd gone upstairs, and said that

the new tires I needed had come in.

"When you get back into town to go to Ivy's, take your truck on down to Jake's and leave it there. You can walk back

to the vet office, and then Jake ought to have the tires on by the time you're ready to come home," Adam said.

"Okay. I'll stop at the bank, and draw the money out of my savings," I said.

Adam nodded, and Crane spoke up and said that Ivy was coming over for supper, and that he would grill some hamburgers.

Hannah said she needed to take Isaac into town to get his immunizations, and so, as usual, there was lots of conversations

going on. Work started being discussed, and Brian asked Daniel if he could help with repairing the tractor.

Daniel said he would, and Jill had sat there, listening to everything going on, without really saying a lot.

"How about you, Clare?" she asked Clare. "You'll be around today, right?"

"No," Clare said. "Today I'm working at the doctor's office. So, I'll be seeing this little fella right here, when he comes for

those shots of his," she added, reaching out to tickle Isaac's belly, from where he sat on Brian's lap at the table.

"He'll be glad to have his Aunt Clare there with him," Hannah said.

I flicked a glance at Jill. It was just an accident, really. I wasn't trying to watch her, or anything. Anyway, she

had sort of a funny look on her face, I thought. She was watching Clare and Hannah and looked almost _forlorn._

I looked at Hannah, and she seemed to sense the same thing in Jill.

"You're welcome to ride along to town with me when I go," she told Jill. "After we've finished with Scooter's doctor's

visit, I have some other errands in town to do. I thought I'd stop and visit Marie awhile, too, if Isaac's not feeling too

rough."

"Marie-I told you about her," Daniel spoke up to say to Jill. "She owns the café-you'll enjoy meetin' her."

"Alright," Jill said. She looked at Hannah and nodded. "Thank you, Hannah."

Jill seemed to me to be subdued, a bit. For the first time I wondered where she'd slept at. I hadn't thought about it

before. I was fairly certain that she and Daniel hadn't slept together the night before. I mean, I figured that they _had_ before, but I knew

they wouldn't here, at our house. It wasn't something that would be approved of, mostly because it wouldn't be thought of to be

a good example for Guthrie and I. Which is really old-fashioned, but that's the McFaddens for you. Even when Clare had visited

overnights before she and Brian got married, they didn't sleep together at our house.

As I was getting around to leave for school, I caught Hannah alone for a moment, as she was packing Isaac's diaper bag

for the trip to the doctor.

I paused beside her, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"It's going to be time soon to take Isaac off of his bottle," she said, with a sigh. I wasn't sure whether the sigh was because

Isaac was growing up so fast, or because she thought it would be difficult to do the actual 'not giving' of his bottle.

"Why do they say that a baby should be off of the bottle by a year old?" I asked.

"Oh, several reasons. Overbite, and cavities," Hannah said.

"So, like the day Isaac turns one, at his birthday party, he can't have a bottle after that?" I asked. "That seems like

a mean trick to play on a little guy when it's his birthday."

Hannah half-smiled. "Maybe not that day, _exactly,"_ she said. "But, somewhere around that time."

"It must be a shock to a baby," I said.

"Well, you do it gradually," Hannah said. "You start giving him a sippy cup to drink out of sometimes, mixed in with still

using the bottle, too."

"Oh," I said.

"Yeah. And, of course we'll save all the bottles for Brian and Clare," she said.

"Brian's gonna look pretty funny drinking out of a baby bottle," I said, with a grin.

Hannah smiled at my humor. "Oh, you're a real firecracker today," she told me, reaching over to tap me on my nose.

After a moment or so of quiet, I said, "Are you glad to be spending the day with Jill?"

Hannah gave me a look, and said, "Shhh."

I lowered my voice. "I'm just asking," I defended.

"I'm sure it will be fine," she said.

I knew I only had a couple more minutes before I needed to set out for school, so I lowered my voice another notch,

and asked, "Where did Jill sleep last night?"

Hannah paused in her packing of the bottles in the diaper bag, to eye me, and said, "In the boy's bedroom." _Boy's bedroom being the one_

_that Ford, Evan and Guthrie used. With Ford not home, and Evan at his own place, that left only Guthrie._

"Guthrie slept in the basement," Hannah added.

"And Daniel bunked in with Crane," I determined.

Hannah gave me a big-sisterly look. "What's your point, Harlie?"

I shrugged. "Guthrie and I aren't little kids anymore. And Isaac's too little to understand."

Adam had walked into the kitchen in time to hear my last two statements.

"You both still act like little kids sometimes," he said, and grinned. "And what is it that Isaac is too little to understand?"

Hannah gave me a raised eyebrow look, as if to say, '_you explain to him.' _

"I was just asking where Jill slept at," I said, as Adam reached for an apple from the fruit bowl in the center of the table.

Adam paused, rubbing the apple on the leg of his jeans. "Uh huh," he said, dryly, giving me 'the eye'.

"I'm not saying that they should or anything," I added swiftly. "I'm just pointing out that Guthrie and I know how things are."

"Oh, is that so?" Adam asked, with a bit of a challenge in his tone. "Know all about _things,_ do you?"

"Adam-" I said, in mild protest. "You know what I mean. If Jill's sleeping in the boy's room, and Daniel's bunking with Crane, and it's

that way because of it being a good example for Guthrie and I-I'm just saying, we're both old enough to know the true way

of things. Daniel and Jill probably shared a hotel room on the trip here."

"First of all," Adam said, "If they did, that's none of your business. Secondly, the way things are done around here, are the way things are

gonna stay being done. Even if you and Guthrie are so darn knowledgeable about _the true way of things." _ He added that last part with

his eyebrow raised all the way.

"Okay, okay," I said, raising my hands in defeat. "I was just suggesting, that's all."

"Well, I think you should take your _suggestions_ and hightail it to school," Adam said.

"Okay," I said, and gave him a sassy grin. I knew he wasn't really all that irritated at me. "Just trying to make things

easier on you all-"

"Uh huh. Well, we'll try to manage and keep bumbling along somehow," Adam said.

"Okay," I said, again. "Bye, Hannah."

"Goodbye, sweetie," Hannah said, and now she looked amused, after listening to Adam and I converse.

I passed by in front of Adam, still smiling at him. "Bye, Adam," I said.

"Goodbye, Sassy Pants," he said. And, then, though I shouldn't have been unprepared, I was, when he gave me

a swat that I _felt,_ joking though he might have been.

"Ow," I said, in mild protest.

"Have a good day," Adam said, then. "Don't forget about your tires."

**7B47B**


	8. Dynamic Duo

When I'd left my truck at Jake's so that the tires could be replaced, I was getting ready to start walking to the vet office,

but then Old Vernon (who works for Jake) said he'd give me a ride there.

I hadn't seen him for a long time, and hadn't had a conversation with him beyond a 'hello' here and there; not since last year

when I'd been in the car accident, and he'd given me a ride home. He'd talked plenty then, though. Telling me that

I shouldn't worry my brothers, and such as that. At the time it had irritated me a whole bunch, but I didn't harbor any

ill feeling toward him for it now.

I accepted the ride from Old Vernon to the vet office. Even though it was only a few blocks, it was warm out, so I was glad.

I climbed into his rickety old pickup. It looked like the truck that Fred Sanford drove on '_Sanford and Son'. _

I perched on the edge of the seat, because it was so full of _stuff. _

"How's the family?" he asked me, predictably.

"Everybody's just fine," I said.

"Huh?" he asked.

I'd forgotten how hard of hearing that he was.

"Everybody's fine," I said, a lot louder this time.

"Evan got hitched, did he?"

I said loudly that yes, he had.

"Let me turn my hearin' aids up," Old Vernon said, and he reached up and fiddled with the gray aids in his ears. First the left and then

the right.

"There we go," he said. "He married that girl what works down at the feed store, didn't he?"

"Yes," I said, again, loudly.

"I can hear ya fine now," he said. "No need for that."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "Okay."

"How's that new vet lady doin'?" he asked me, then.

"She's doing fine," I said.

"There's some that feel a female ought to choose a different job path than bein' a veterinarian," Old Vernon said.

"They're idiots," I said.

"What's that?" he asked.

I turned to look more directly at him. "I said, the folks that think that way are wrong."

Old Vernon gave me an squint-eyed look. "Feel that way about it, do ya?"

I nodded. "I do."

"Your brothers know you're one of them feminists?" he asked, then.

I was sorry I'd accepted a ride from him. A hot walk would have been better than this.

"A woman can be just as good at certain jobs as a man," I said.

"Nope. Can't agree with ya there, little lady. A female just naturally can't keep up with a man."

I was practically gritting my teeth. I knew I should just shut up and finish the drive to Ivy's without any interaction.

"_Certain_ jobs," I said, in clarification. "I didn't say all. Being a veterinarian is one of the jobs that women _can_ do as

well."

"Garrett indulged ya," Old Vernon said, looking disapproving. "He let ya take on some big notions. I'm surprised your

brothers haven't put a stop to it-"

I was suddenly, totally, absolutely _livid. _

"If you think that's how Doc G felt about things, then you didn't really know him at _all!_ He was the most

wonderful man-" I paused, feeling suddenly emotional. "And my brothers aren't stuck in the dark ages like

some crotchety, stupid old men!"

We were at front of the veterinary office by now, thank goodness. I got out before the truck even pulled to a stop,

and I slammed the door of his Fred Sanford truck.

"Here now!" I hear him saying to me. I looked back to see he was half-in and half-out of his truck. I had the inane

thought that he was thinking he would follow me. Continue to berate me, and think to teach me a 'thing or two'.

I had my hand on the doorknob to go in, when it opened, and I ran nearly smack into Crane.

"Hey, peanut," he said, in greeting.

"Crane-" Old Vernon called out, loudly.

"Vernon give you a ride?" Crane asked me, as he lifted a hand in greeting to Old Vernon.

"Yes-" I said, but before I could tell Crane that the old man had gone all 'Wyatt Earp' on me, Vernon was

hollering out, "Wanna talk to you, Crane!"

"Good grief," I hissed.

"What's going on?" Crane asked me, as Ivy appeared beside him in the open doorway.

"I told him off and he doesn't like it," I said swiftly. Crane gave me a disbelieving look. Disbelief combined with

vast confusion.

"What?" he asked, clearly bumfuzzled.

"He's getting ready to fill your ear with how horrible I am-" I managed to get in, before

Old Vernon made his slow way to us. Although I had to say, he was moving pretty darn good for somebody his

age. I didn't realize that I'd taken ahold of Crane's wrist, until he moved to step out onto the sidewalk to face

Old Vernon.

"Hey there, Vernon," Crane said, mildly, in greeting, while I hung back in the doorway, Ivy standing beside me. His greeting to

Old Vernon showed no sign that he had any clue as to what this was all about.

"Want a word with ya, Crane-about your gal there," Old Vernon said, gesturing towards me with clear disapproval.

I felt my stomach knot up worse than it had been already, and my heart was pounding.

"What is it that Harlie's done, exactly, Vernon?" Crane asked, still sounding mild.

"Took to sassin' me, calling me a stupid old man, trying to tell her elders what's what."

"She called you stupid?" Crane asked, sounding as though he didn't believe it.

"She sure enough did-"

Crane turned to look at me, standing in the doorway. "Is that true, Harlie?" he asked. He didn't sound angry, or even accusatory,

but he didn't sound mild, either.

"Why you askin' her for?" Old Vernon demanded. "I told you she did."

"Harlie?" Crane asked, not responding to his objection.

"I said that you-and Adam and the rest of the guys aren't stuck in the dark ages like some crotchety, stupid old men," I

said, repeating my words as near as I could recall.

"There you go," Old Vernon said, triumphantly, as if I'd confessed to a crime.

Crane reached up to push the bill of his ball cap up a bit further. "It doesn't sound as though she said you were

stupid, specifically, Vernon," Crane said. "Maybe she wasn't referring to you."

"Yeah. She sure enough was. Talkin' like one of those darn women libbers-I'm telling you straight, Crane, she was

out and out disrespectful."

Crane looked as though he was contemplating. He turned to look at me again, and his gaze was steady and

serious as all-get-out. I felt Ivy reach out and she took one of my hands in her own, squeezing it in silent support.

"Were you disrespectful to him, Harlie?" Crane asked.

I wanted to say that I hadn't been until he'd disrespected Ivy, and females in general, and then my relationship with Doc G, and all

of that. But, at that moment, I didn't want to make Crane look bad. He'd helped raise me, right along with Adam and Brian, and

it would make him look like he'd raised nothing but a brat. It would embarrass him. It would take everything I had in me to do it, and I wouldn't mean it, but

I stepped out to stand next to Crane.

"If you think I disrespected you, then I apologize," I said, keeping my voice even, and looking straight at Old Vernon. "I don't agree with

what you said, none of it, but if those are your opinions, then you're entitled to them."

I think I'd managed to shock Old Vernon, by the way that he was looking at me, and Crane was eyeing me with

a sort of incredulous expression.

"Young ones ought not to think they can talk that way to their elders," Old Vernon was continuing.

I looked up at Crane. "Can I go in inside?" I asked him.

"Yeah," Crane said, quietly.

I turned and went back into the open doorway. I found that I was shaking, I was so frustrated.

"Harlie-" Ivy said, in a near whisper, and motioned to me to come back over near the doorway.

So, I did, and we stood where we could hear, but not be seen.

"That wasn't no sort of an apology nohow," Old Vernon was saying. "You need to rein that gal in, Crane."

"Harlie apologized to you, Vernon," I heard Crane say. "That's all that needs to be said."

"I'm only speakin' up because I thought the world of you all's daddy. He wouldn't have wanted any young'un of his

spoutin' off that way," Vernon maintained.

"Dad wanted his kids to be respectful. You're right about that. Harlie's apologized for what she said to you. I know

this about her, though. She wears her feelings close. And, I haven't heard just what it was that you said to her. It had to

have been something significant, or she wouldn't have reacted the way that she did."

Ivy turned and gave me such a beaming smile at that speech of Crane's. "Hear that?" she asked, in a low tone.

I nodded. Crane was taking up for me. I could hear the measured control in his tone. Sometimes people probably think because

Crane's so quiet, and so laid-back in his mannerisms, that he's a pushover. They would be wrong.

"Probably you're one that's encouragin' her to pursue this fool notion of bein' a female veterinarian," Vernon said. He should

have stopped talking while he was ahead. I felt Ivy stiffen by my side, and then she stepped outside, quick as a flash.

"I encourage Harlie every chance that I have," Crane said. "About whatever she wants to do, including being a

veterinarian."

And now, Ivy was winding up. "For your information, sir," she said, "They don't give diplomas like the one hanging

on my office wall to women who they don't think can make it in the field of veterinary medicine. I _earned_ that diploma, and

there are many other females that are competent veterinarians. If Harlie even wants to _consider_ something that

takes such hard work and dedication, then Crane and all the rest of their family deserve to be congratulated on raising

such a motivated, passionate young woman."

I was in shock, really, at Ivy's impassioned tirade on Vernon, and her glowing words about me. For a long, long few moments, there was dead silence

out there on the sidewalk. I couldn't see, of course, what anybody's facial expressions were, or anything, hiding behind the door as

I was-but, holy moly, you could have heard a pin drop.

"I don't reckon as your daddy would be pleased, if he heard all this, Crane," Vernon said. To me, it didn't sound as though he had

quite as much starch as he'd had earlier, though.

"Oh, on the contrary," Crane said. "I think he'd be _very_ pleased, Vernon."

There was some muttering from Vernon, then, I couldn't really tell what it was he was saying, though. I heard his truck door

slam, and then start up, and when I saw it going around the corner thru the window, I stepped out onto the sidewalk.

The sight that greeted me was Crane, with his arms wrapped around Ivy, and they were kissing like there was no

tomorrow. I couldn't help grinning at the sight.

They broke apart when they realized I was standing there, too.

Crane cleared his throat a bit, but he didn't look terribly embarrassed, and Ivy just smiled at me.

"Quite an afternoon so far," Crane said, dryly.

Ivy and I both nodded in agreement.

"Let's go over to Marie's and have some pie," Crane said.

**7B47B**


	9. The goose who was Daniel

When we were seated in one of the booths at the café, Marie came over to sit with us for a few minutes, since

it wasn't so busy at that time.

Crane had pecan pie and Ivy and I had a piece of cherry. While Maria was sitting with us, we talked about other things. About

how Clare was feeling in her pregnancy, the weather, and all of that. When we were finished, and Crane said he would go up and

pay the cashier, Ivy went with him. That left me sitting on my side of the booth, with Marie beside me. She laid her hand on my knee.

"And how are you, sweetpea?" she asked me.

"I'm doing alright," I said. "How are you?"

"As fine as an old lady can be," Marie said.

"How would you know that?" I countered. "You've got years before you qualify to be old."

"Ah, I can always count on you to treat me sweet," she said, with a laugh.

After a moment, she said, "Daniel's home? I met his young lady this morning when Hannah came by to visit."

"Was it a delight?" I asked, without thinking.

Marie tilted her head slightly, and gave me 'the eye'. "Does that remark signify something in particular?"

I shook my head, feeling my cheeks warm. "No. Not really. I'm just-trying to get used to the idea, I guess."

"Is it bothering you? The fact that Daniel might really care about this girl?" Marie asked.

"I don't think it's that," I said. "I want Daniel to be happy."

"So, it's more of an issue with the girl herself, then?" Marie clarified.

I thought for a moment, and then in honesty, said, "I guess I'm still making up my mind."

"Well, that's alright," Marie said, and patted my leg again, as Crane and Ivy came back over to stand beside the booth.

"Ready?" he asked me.

"Yeah," I said, and Marie moved so that I could slide out of the booth seat.

Marie said her goodbyes, beaming as always when Crane kissed the top of her head.

"Goodbye, tall man," she told him, and then, to me, she said, "Come and talk with me again soon."

I promised that I would, and we walked back over to the vet office.

Crane prepared to go, telling Ivy he would see her later, when she came over for supper.

I was waving goodbye to him, and preparing to follow Ivy inside, when he said,

"Hey, kiddo."

I turned back to see him beckoning to me with his hand. "Come here a minute," he said.

I went back to where Crane stood beside the Jeep. He looped his arms over my shoulders and clasped his fingers together

behind my neck.

"I was thinking. I probably ought to give you a word or two-about not provoking old men who are set in their

ways," he said.

I thought he was joking at first, and then I saw that he looked entirely serious.

"Okay," I said.

"I know Vernon was frustrating. I felt that way with him, too. But-sometimes you have to pick your battles

with people. If you can voice your opinion in a respectful way, and there's a chance of having that other person

begin to see your point of view on something, then that's a good thing. There's going to be others, though, who you

wouldn't be able to sway, even with dynamite. Vernon's one of those," Crane said. "When you tussle with somebody like

him, there's not going to be any resolution, except a stirred-up situation. Pick your people. Pick your battles. Let the

rest go."

He finished talking, and let his eyes roam over my face. "Understand what I'm trying to say?" he asked me.

I did. As usual, Crane got his point across. All without raising his voice even an octave.

"I understand," I told him.

He nodded, and I added, "Thanks for standing up for me with him."

Crane smiled. "You're welcome."

He unclasped his hands from my shoulders, and opened the door of the Jeep. "Probably be best not to accept a ride from

him for awhile," he advised.

"I agree," I said. "As in "awhile" being _never_ again."

He smiled again, and said, "See you later, at home."

"Okay. See you," I said.

**7B**

The rest of the afternoon passed so fast that Ivy and I hardly had any time to really talk at all. I was out back staking out the

horses that Ivy boards, so they could graze in the grassy area. Ivy was inside giving shots to a poodle. I was finished with the

horses, and was heading to the barn to begin mucking out the stalls, when a truck and trailer pulled into the back alleyway.

Parked off to the side, and who gets out but _Reagan Clark._ It had been awhile since I'd seen her last, and I hadn't missed her

a bit.

Her greeting was friendly enough, though. Surprisingly. "Hey there, Harlie," she said.

"Hey."

"Ivy said for me to bring Malachi in. Is she around?"

"Yeah. She's inside. I'll get her," I said.

"Great," Reagan said, tapping the toe of her boot impatiently.

I went to just inside the back door, and met Ivy, on her way out.

"I thought I heard a truck," she said. "Is it the Clark's?"

"Uh huh. It's Reagan."

"Okay." We both looked towards the front as we heard the bell jingling over the door.

"Oh, fudge, somebody's here up front," Ivy said.

"I'll go see," I said.

I headed towards the front office, and, just at the wooden swinging doors leading to the office itself, Daniel stepped thru.

"Hi," I greeted him, surprised.

"Hi."

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Came to give you a ride home. Your truck's not gonna be ready today."

"Oh." I considered that. "Why? Jake didn't the tires on?"  
"You have a tie rod goin' out," Daniel said.

I gave him a blank look. I had no idea what that was.

Daniel correctly judged my confused expression. "I'll explain it to you on the way home," he said, sounding amused.

"Okay." I gestured towards the back of the building. "I've got to finish up."

"Yeah. No problem. I'll go along with you," he said.

So he went with me, out back, and just as we stepped outside, I gave him a cheeky grin.

"Reagan Clark's out here," I said, as Daniel's gaze slid over the Clark's truck and trailer.

"Oh, Lord, why didn't ya tell me that earlier?" he groaned.

"I want to watch you try to stay out of her clutches," I said.

Malachi had been unloaded from the trailer, and Reagan was holding him, while Ivy gave an injection in the horse's knee.

When Reagan saw Daniel, her whole demeanor became 'on point'. She went from looking faintly bored to

looked vastly pleased, and tossing her hair back over her shoulder.

An imp took over my mouth, and I called out, "Look who's here, Reagan!"

Under his breath, Daniel uttered, "You're gonna pay, squirt-"

"I didn't know you were back, Daniel," Reagan called, in greeting.

"Haven't been back very long," he said.

Ivy was finishing and Reagan took her eyes from Daniel long enough to tell Ivy to send the bill to her father.

As Ivy headed back inside, I prepared to go to the barn to finish the stalls, leaving Daniel there with Reagan.

Reagan had her back to me, facing Daniel, and I turned around to walk backwards, giving Daniel another

grin.

**SB**

When I'd finished with the stalls, Daniel was still trying to extradite himself from Reagan's clinging conversation.

I don't know why, but I found it vastly amusing. And somehow satisfying.

He finally rid himself of Reagan by helping to lead the horses that had been staked out, back into the barn.

"Take care," he told Reagan, as an abrupt goodbye. As we were both walking into the barn, leading two horses each, I saw that

Reagan was standing by her truck, just looking after Daniel as though he was a Christmas goose and she was starving.

We were finished and leaving the barn, after Reagan had finally gotten into her truck, and roared away down the alley.

"You think that was real funny, don't ya?" Daniel accused, sounding half-joking and half-irritated.

"What?" I asked, widening my eyes at him playfully.

"You know what," he said darkly.

"I guess she just can't help herself," I said, with a sigh, fluttering my eyelashes at him, as we walked.

Daniel gave a snort, of sorts, in answer.

I decided to share my analogy. "It reminded me a Christmas goose, and somebody who was real, real hungry," I said, as

we reached the back door of the building. "You, of course, being the goose-"

Daniel's hand landed over the top of mine on the door handle, to prevent me from opening the door. "You know," he said, as though he was thinking something out

carefully, "If you keep on with this-I might have to pull out my OBG handbook, and see how they advise a big brother to handle

a little sister who thinks she's a comedian, but she's really just a smartass-"

_Referring of course, he was, to the 'Older Brother's Guide', that he's so fond of quoting at me. It's become a real joke between_

_Daniel and I over the years._

"Ohhh, my," I said, pretending dismay and alarm. "That would be unfortunate. If you had to do that, I mean-"

"It would. It would be _very, very_ unfortunate. For _you,"_ Daniel said, giving his best imitation of a threatening glower.

"I'll be good," I promised, with a giggle.

"See that you are," he ordered.

Suddenly, I was overcome with good feelings. Crane had taken up for me, and it had been immensely satisfying to scrap with

Old Vernon. There was no denying that, although I didn't think I would mention that part of it to Crane.

Anyway, between that, and now, teasing around with Daniel, I just felt _good_ inside.

"I'm glad you're home," I said, turning serious.

"Me, too," Daniel said, with a grin at me.

"I mean it," I insisted.

"I mean it, too," he said, looking a little puzzled.

I wanted to ask him if he'd come home for a _visit,_ or only because he'd wanted to bring Jill around for us to meet and all. I knew

that made no sense really, but I still wanted to know. But, I didn't ask. Not then.

**SB4SB**


	10. Differing thoughts

I wondered about Jill, what she was doing, and all that, but I didn't ask Daniel on the way home, because we were

being silly and talking about other things, and well-I was actually glad that she hadn't come along with him to pick me up.

When Ivy came over later, she had a look at Dark Commander, and said that she agreed with Brian, and that he

didn't have colic. I thought about trying to get up a game of basketball with everybody, but

Evan and Nancy didn't stay long after supper. They had some project at the cabin they were working on-sanding down a

dresser or something.

Crane and Ivy went off for a walk, and Adam stretched out on the couch, with his head in Hannah's lap.

Guthrie had volunteered to take Isaac outside and pull him around in the wagon, and so I sat down in the living room,

in one of the recliners across from Adam and Hannah to work on my anatomy homework worksheet.

For a few minutes, Daniel and Jill were sitting there, too, on one end of the other couch. Hannah tried to make

conversation with Jill, asking her some questions about her family and all of that. But, she mostly got answers that

were open-ended. Or, so it seemed to me, anyway.

"There's just my sister and me, really," Jill said, in response to Hannah asking about her siblings.

I saw Daniel give her a glance, a quick one, as if puzzled, but he didn't say anything. Jill was snuggling up

against Daniel's side, and clutching onto his arm.

When Hannah asked Daniel when he wanted to have his hair cut, Jill spoke up swiftly. "His hair looks fine."

She turned to Daniel, clutching at his arm even more. "You should leave it the way that it is, mi amor."

Mi Amor? Good grief.

Brian, who was walking into the living room from the kitchen, said, "Much longer without havin' it cut, and you're gonna

need some barrettes to keep it out of your eyes, Dan'l."

Brian had just been joking, and everybody knew it, including Daniel. Jill gave Brian a look, and said, "Well, I like it." She

stood up and pulled at Daniel's hand.

"Let's go for a drive, or something," she said.

Daniel stood up, taking Jill's hand, and sort of smiled at all of us. "See ya all later," he said.

Adam responded, with a casual, "See ya" in return, and Hannah said, "Bye."

They went out the front door, and Brian came to sit down on the spot that Jill and Daniel had just vacated on the couch.

"Where's Clare?" Hannah asked Brian.

"She went upstairs to get somethin'," Brian said.

Adam had been steadily eating peanuts this whole time, and he shook out some more from the jar, and began

eating those.

I kept quiet at first, because I wanted to see if any of the three of them said anything about Jill. I was not to be disappointed.

"I can't get a good read on that one," Brian said._ That one, obviously, was Jill._

"She's not real easy to get to know," Hannah added.

"Maybe she's just shy," Adam said, and put another peanut in his mouth.

I didn't think that Jill had even _one_ shy bone in her entire body. But, I didn't say that.

"There are a _whole_ lot of us around here to get used to," Adam went on. "Remember, hon?" he said, to Hannah, and she

smiled a little.

"I remember," Hannah said.

"And there's even _more_ of us now," Adam said. "You can't just expect somebody to step right in and mesh

perfectly."

"Hannah did," I said.

"Oh, sweetie, no, I didn't," Hannah denied, smiling at me.

"Well, you were pretty close to it," I said. "And Clare did."

"What did I do?" Clare asked, coming from the kitchen, and carrying the yarn and crochet hooks she'd bought recently. She was

determined to teach herself to crochet, and make the baby a blanket.

"You came right in around here, and made everybody love you, right off," I said.

Clare sat down beside Brian, and said, "Well, thanks, toots," to me.

"Only stating the truth," I said.

"You _are_ pretty darn loveable," Brian told Clare, kissing the top of her head.

From where he was laying, with his head in Hannah's lap, Adam was looking right in my direction.

"All I'm sayin', sugar, is that you can't judge everybody by how it was with Hannah and Clare. Everybody's different," Adam

told me.

"And she is really young, too," Hannah said. "Don't forget that."

"If she's Daniel's age, then she's the same age as you were when you married Adam," I pointed out. "And Clare, too. And Nancy's

only 21, so she's probably younger than Jill, and _she_ doesn't act all immature, like that."

"Harlie," Adam said, then. In sort of a disappointed way.

"What?" I asked, with spirit. "I thought we were having a discussion, that's all. I thought I could say what I think."

"Don't go gettin' all fussed up," Adam told me.

He used to tell me that when I was little. I didn't like it then, and I liked it less right now, at this moment.

"I'm not 'fussed up'," I denied.

"And, besides," Adam went on, as though I hadn't said anything, "Nobody's said this is anything serious between her and

Daniel. No sense in gettin' the cart before the horse."

I was getting ready to tell them all what Jill had said, about how Daniel was meant for better things in life than

feeding hungry cows, but the telephone began to ring, and I got up to go answer. It was Kenny.

**7B47B**

So, it turned out that Jake had found that there was a tire rod going out on my truck. I listened when Adam was talking to

me about it, but I still didn't really _get_ it. I just knew it was going to take another day or so to fix, and that it was going to

cost even more money.

We were at the breakfast table the next morning, and everybody was standing up, getting ready to head out in their

opposite directions.

"I'll have to stop at the bank and withdraw some more money," I said, gulping down what was left of my juice.

"I hate to see you drain your savings," Adam was saying, as he stood up, too.

"What else can I do?" I asked him. "I don't have enough saved up to pay for something like this-"

"Are you budgeting your money?" Adam asked then, and I gave him sort of an 'Are you kidding?' look.

"I'm not making that much, and then, with D.C.-" I said. "Remember? I talked to you about it-"

"Yeah, yeah, I remember," he said.

"I thought about getting a Saturday job, but you said-" I began.

"I remember what I said," Adam said.

"If you've changed your mind-I'll bet I could get on somewhere in Angels Camp. The gas station, maybe-" I persisted.

"I haven't changed my mind," Adam said, sounding definite.

I eyed him. He was pouring a refill into his coffee cup. "We'll see how much it's gonna be for Jake to fix your truck up," he was saying.

"It might be that we can pay half for you, or somethin'."

Immediately, I felt guilty. "I don't want you to have to do that," I protested. I knew for a fact that we'd hit another lean time

around here, money-wise. It wasn't so much what anybody had said, but more what _hadn't_ been said.

"There's no _have_ to, to it," Adam said. He caught my look, and said, "We'll see what Jake says after he's done the work. So, you

can ride to school with Guthrie, and then Ivy said last night she had no problem with pickin' you up and takin' you to the office.

Alright?"

"Okay," I said, in agreement.

As I was walking out with Guthrie to head to school, Adam was behind us, and on the porch Daniel was scuffling with Evan,

who had just gotten there a few minutes before.

They were both concentrating, through laughter, and it was hard to tell, really, who had the upper hand, exactly.

Jill was standing off to the side, watching. It seemed to me that there was a look that combined wistfulness with something else,

irritation, maybe, in her expression.

Adam told us to have a good day at school, like he always did, and Daniel called a 'see ya both later' to Guthrie and I.

We were headed down the driveway, and in the side mirror, I could see Evan heading off towards the barn, while Daniel

seemed caught in a serious conversation with Jill.

I realized that between work, and then someone always being around, that Guthrie and I hadn't really had a chance to

talk about _certain_ things. It started with him offering me some gum from his ever-present supply, and then we talked about

some other stuff; like Kristin's mother losing her job, and how a weekend overnight camping trip would be something fun to

do.

"It's nice-" I said, after awhile. "Riding to school together, I mean. I kind of miss it."

"Yeah, I know what ya mean," Guthrie said. "Sometimes, I do, too."

"We haven't had a chance to really talk lately," I said. I hesitated, and then said, "What do you think of Jill?"

Guthrie shrugged. "I dunno. I guess I was sort of surprised, at first. That he brought a girl home and all."

"Yeah. It was a surprise," I agreed. "That's not what I mean, really. What do you think of _her?_ As a person?"

Guthrie popped at his gum, looking thoughtful. "I guess I don't really have an opinion about her yet. She's Daniel's type alright, though."

"You think so?" I asked. Daniel's 'type' of girl has always been long leggy blondes who are more the 'natural' type, not wearing a lot of makeup,

and usually sort of 'idealistic'.

"Maybe not in looks," Guthrie said, obviously knowing what I was getting at. "But, she's sort of-lost-like."

"Lost-like," I repeated. "How do you mean?"

"I don't know. She seems as though she's not very confident, like she needs somebody to take care of her. You know

Daniel's always been a sucker for the 'underdog' type," Guthrie said.

I thought that over, realizing that Guthrie had somewhat of a point. There were moments, such as this morning, on the porch,

when Jill looked as though she was 'lost'. But, then, there were other moments-

I told Guthrie what Jill had said about how Daniel was intended for better things in life, than working on a ranch, and just

taking care of cows.

"She said that?" Guthrie asked, sounding surprised, and a bit ruffled. A small part of me felt vindicated. Guthrie agreed with me that it was high-handed of

Jill to say such a thing.

"Yeah. She did," I affirmed.

"Hmm," Guthrie said, looking thoughtful. "Well, maybe Daniel's talkin' to her about how he really feels. Maybe he's deciding

that he doesn't wanna be a rancher, at all, in the future."

"Daniel loves the ranch," I protested, but even as I said it, I feared that Guthrie might be right.

"Sure, he does. But, maybe-" Guthrie let his voice sort of trail off.

I was thinking of a future where Daniel might want nothing to do with the ranch; where he might make even more sporadic visits home

than he did now. Where he wouldn't be involved in roundup, or cattle sales, or any of that.

I must have looked a bit stricken at those thoughts, because Guthrie said, in a comforting way, "I wouldn't take her

word for anything like that about Daniel yet."

I nodded, and we finished our drive to school talking about other stuff.

**7B47B**


	11. Words and confusion

I got a surprise, though, when it was nearly time for me to head out of school to Ivy's. I gathered up all my stuff, and

then went to check out, as usual, in the office, expecting Ivy to be there to pick me up.

Daniel was there, leaning against the front counter, talking with Mrs. Wilson, the secretary.

He greeted me with a casual, "Hey, brat," and then finished listening to Mrs. Wilson talking about her two-year-old grandson,

Ellis, and how he'd managed to climb nearly half-way up the backyard tree.

"He's full of adventure," Mrs. Wilson was saying, fondly. Usually, Mrs. Wilson is not so talkative. She mostly acts as though

she's irritated at even having to be _there_ at the school at all. She's usually nice enough to me, but, not like she was being right

at this moment, with Daniel. She was friendly, and darn animated.

"I'm here to get ya," Daniel said to me, as we prepared to go.

"Where's Ivy?" I asked.

"I'll tell you about it outside," Daniel said, gesturing towards the doorway of the office. "Take care, Mrs. Wilson," he told

her.

Mrs. Wilson fairly beamed at Daniel. "You too, Daniel," she said. "It was good to visit with you, and catch up a bit."

"It sure was," Daniel said, smiling in return at Mrs. Wilson.

When we were outside of the office, and Daniel had closed the door, we stood there, in the hallway for a moment or so.

"How come you're here?" I asked him.

"Ivy had to go out of town. To go see her folks. Her mom took a fall, I guess," Daniel said.

"Oh, no," I said, feeling concerned. "Is it bad?"

"I don't think it's too serious. Crane said she was banged up, but nothin' was broken, or anything. He was gonna go

with Ivy," Daniel said.

"I'm glad he's going with her," I said.

"Yeah. I was thinkin' I'd drive into Stockton. I need to pick up some stuff. You okay with ridin' along? We could get

some pizza," Daniel offered.

"Pizza sounds good," I said. If I was going to have an afternoon off of work, (sorry as I was about Ivy's mom), then

I was thinking that hanging out with Daniel and eating some pizza sounded like fun. I even had the hopeful thought that

maybe we could have a more serious talk. About Jill.

"I don't think I've ever seen Mrs. Wilson so effervescent," I told him as we reached the outer doors.

"Effervescent, huh?" Daniel asked, raising an eyebrow at my choice of words.

"She likes you," I said. "She never acts like that with any of the students."

"Well, I can't say as I blame her for that," Daniel said. "I mean, teenagers are a general pain in the ass."

"Hey!" I protested, slugging him lightly on his arm.

I was smiling at him, feeling light-hearted, right up until we were close to Daniel's truck. And, I saw Jill sitting inside.

**7B47B**

I halted for a moment, and Daniel nearly walked into me.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

What was I supposed to say? Something along the lines of (you didn't tell me that your girlfriend, who is vastly annoying to

me, was part of this Stockton afternoon visit). Or, (you made it sound, by your invitation inside the school, that it was _you and I_ that

were going to ha_ng out)._

But, of course, I couldn't say any of that stuff. I mean, maybe I could have, but it would have sounded ridiculous, and bratty, and

any number of other things. So, I shook my head, and said, "Nothing," when Daniel asked me what was wrong.

I went around to the other side of the truck to get in, thinking to myself that I'd been dumb to not think of Jill being with

Daniel. Unless he was out on the ranch somewhere working, I'd noticed that Jill was never very far from his side.

When I opened the passenger door to get into the truck, Jill was sitting in the middle of the truck seat, filing her nails with an

emery board.

"Hey, Harlie," she greeted me, in her Southern accent.

"Hi," I answered.

Once we were headed out of Angels Camp, and on the highway towards Stockton, Jill began to talk. She spoke of some people

she and Daniel knew in _N_ashville, and things that they had done. She would interrupt herself to ask me, "Did you hear that story, Harlie?" at least twice.

Both times I shook my head and said, "Nope."

"You'll have to come and visit us in Nashville," Jill was saying then. "I think you'd really like it if you got to see it." I'd taken a pack of crackers out of my

backpack to munch on, and I nearly choked on my first bite when she said that.

First of all, I resented that _us_ and the casual way that she said it. Secondly, her throwing an invite out that way, as if she had

the right to issue it, still made me think of last spring, when I'd taken off to Tennessee.

I settled for, "Um, sure," as an answer, praying that she would just drop it, right there.

Daniel said, "She likes to go more for the surprise value when she visits. Isn't that right, squirt?" he asked, leaning forward a

bit to survey me, a grin on his face.

I felt as though I was going to explode. I mean, _seriously,_ my head was gonna go POOF! I could not, _could not,_ believe

that Daniel was bringing that up, that he was about to, apparently, tell Jill about what had happened last spring.

I glared at Daniel. I clamped my lips shut tight, and told him with everything in my eyes, to _stop talking._

Daniel got that glare. He gave me a wrinkled forehead sort of look, though, obviously puzzled by my reaction.

"What?" he asked me. As in, (what's wrong with you).

I couldn't believe he could be so insensitive.

Before I could formulate a response, Jill sort of perked up and said, "It seems like there's a story here."

Daniel was still looking at me, while I inwardly fumed, and Jill, darn her, said, "Come on. Let me in on it. What's

the story?"

"There's no story," I said, barely able to keep from snapping at her.

I sat back in my seat, still fuming.

Jill flicked a glance at me, and then at Daniel again. "Well, okay," she said, but I knew that her 'okay' really didn't mean 'okay'.

The rest of the way to Stockton I was silent, only answering when Jill directed a question my way. And then, I only responded

with the minimum of words.

Once in Stockton, Daniel went to the mall, where he parked the truck. We walked inside, and he headed towards one of the

hardware stores, where he went in. He bought some stuff, a sack of a certain type of nails, and a book of blueprints. I got a quick look

at it, and saw that it was about building some sort of shed on wheels or something like that. After that Jill said she wanted

to go to the jewelry store. Not like the fancy jewelry store, with real diamond stuff, but the fun sort of store, with girly earrings and costume

jewelry, and glittery pillows and all that.

The food court was just down a bit, and I said, "I'm gonna go sit at the food court," to Daniel.

"Don't you wanna go in there?" Daniel asked, gesturing towards the 'girly' store.

"No," I said shortly. "I've got a headache. The lights in there will make it worse."

"Do you think you're blood sugar is high?" Daniel asked, looking concerned.

"No," I said curtly. "I'll wait over there for you and Jill," I said, and turned around to walk towards the food court. I resisted the temptation to

look back to see if Daniel was watching me.

I ordered a Coke, an extra-large, and sat down at one of the tables. I was still feeling all wrought up. I was sooo mad. And truthfully,

I was hurt. How could Daniel have even thought of telling Jill the truth behind my impromptu trip to Nashville last year?

How could he-

I saw Daniel come out of the 'glitter girl' shop and start towards me.

I picked up my cup and starting slurping the cold Coke down, trying not to look at Daniel. He came over and sat down across the

table from me. At first he didn't say anything at all, then in a sudden burst he said, "If you have a headache, you shouldn't be

drinkin' Coke, should you? Can't that make your blood sugar spike?"

He was right. Obviously, it could. I wasn't gonna say that, though. So, I just shrugged in answer.

Daniel gave me a look across the table, and said, in about as direct a fashion as a person could, "What's your problem?"

What was my problem? I set my cup down with a snap.

"I can't believe you were gonna-" I began, and then paused.

"Gonna what?" he asked, looking genuinely perplexed. "What was I gonna do?"

"Tell Jill," I said, in a snappy tone.

"Tell Jill what?" he asked, and then he must have realized, because he sort of leaned back in the chair. "You mean about

you comin' to Nashville on the bus-"

"Yes!" I snapped.

"Is it a secret or somethin'? Because I sure didn't think that it was-" Daniel began.

"Never mind!" I said, and turned in my chair so that I wasn't looking at him any longer, but at the people walking by. I was _fuming._

"Hey," Daniel said, and when I didn't answer, and didn't look at him, he said it again. "Hey. Look at me."

I looked at him, but didn't twist my body to face him. My expression was, I knew, confrontational.

Daniel was studying my face, wrinkling his forehead. "How come you're so mad about it?"

"If you don't know-" I began, and then I looked away again, pointedly. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Well, I do," Daniel said. He said it quietly, but there was no mistaking his meaning. He leaned forward. And said, again,

"Look at me. Now."

I whirled to face him. "What?!" I demanded, rudely.

"Don't talk to me like that," Daniel said. He didn't sound angry so much as puzzled. "I'm tryin' to have a conversation with

ya, so I can understand what's goin' on in your head. There's no reason for you to be so hateful. If I've done somethin'-then

just tell me."

I let out a long breath. "I don't want Jill to know. About how I ran off and rode the bus out to see you last spring."

"Okay," Daniel said, still looking puzzled.

"It's personal," I went on. "It's not something I'm proud of. It's _private,_ Daniel."

"I was just teasin' you, about how you made a surprise visit," Daniel said. "I thought enough time had passed that

we could joke about it-"

"Maybe," I said. "Maybe _we_ could joke about it, once in awhile, or something. But, not to anybody else. Not to _Jill_."

"Okay," Daniel said, again. I flicked my eyes up at him, and he was looking still somewhat confused. "The lid's on it. No

worries," he said.

"It's too late now," I said.

"What do you mean, it's too late?" he asked.

"Jill knows something happened, from what you said. She's probably gonna keep asking about it," I insisted.

"So, I'll just tell her you don't wanna talk about it. That I spoke when I shouldn't have," Daniel said.

"I don't think that will work," I said.

"Why not?" Daniel asked, and I could tell he was rapidly passing being just irritated.

"I just don't." I wrapped my fingers around my Coke cup. "And, anyway, you'll just tell her later, probably, when I'm not

around."

Daniel was silent for such a long few moments, that I looked up at him. He was regarding me with an expression of-well, _something._

Partly stunned. Partly just downright ticked off.

"You think I'd do that?" he asked, sounding incredulous.

"I don't know," I said, and I saw then that I'd hurt his feelings. Just like he had mine, earlier.

There was a tense, uncomfortable silence then. For more than a few moments.

"I just don't want her to know-that I rode the bus all that way, and how mad you were at me, and-all of that stuff," I

said.

I felt my face get all hot in embarrassment, as Daniel and I exchanged a look then. I knew that he knew very well just

what it was that would have me the most embarrassed for Jill to hear about.

"I won't say anything more than what I have already," Daniel said. "Not to Jill. Not to anybody. It's not somethin' I go

around talking about. I wouldn't do that to you."

"Okay," I said.

Daniel sighed. "Okay."

We sat there for a few moments in silence.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Jill came out of the store she'd been in, and started towards us,

carrying a big bag.

**7B47B**


	12. Spaghetti and emotion

Jill was almost giddy as we left the mall, seemingly light-hearted, and carrying her bag from the store.

"I got some real cute earrings," she was telling me. "You can borrow them if you want. Here-let me show you-"

She burrowed through her bag, and brought them out as Daniel put the truck into drive and pulled out of the mall parking lot.

And she pulled out a pair of flashy earrings, the sort that dangle nearly to the top of your shoulders when you're wearing them.

These looked like guitars, with sparkly stones on the part where the guitar strings were at.

_Um, okay._ Not my style at all. I hardly wore earrings that dangled at all, and for sure not any like these. I thought they

were downright _gaudy,_ but Jill sure seemed to think they were something special.

I was still feeling put out at Daniel, even though we'd supposedly talked things out. To be honest, I didn't know just what

was wrong with me. I just wanted to go home. Even chores and homework sounded preferable to any more time in the cab

of Daniel's truck, with a Daniel that was out of sorts, just like I was, and with Jill, babbling on and on about earrings and

nonsense like that.

"What do you think?" Jill was asking me, as we drove.

"They're sparkly," I said, not meaning it as a compliment.

"I know. Isn't it great?" she said, not seeming to notice my lack of enthusiasm.

"Mmmm," I said.

"You can borrow them-maybe when you go out with your boyfriend-when am I gonna get to meet him, anyway?" she said, all

in one long breath.

I shrugged. "I don't know-"

"Probably on the weekend," Daniel interjected into the conversation. "Isn't Kenny usually around then, squirt?"

"He might be," I said vaguely.

"Well, I'm looking forward to meeting him," Jill said, smiling at me, and then laying her hand on Daniel's right knee.

I gave her sort of a half-smile-raised eyebrow look, that was meant to not neither encourage or discourage.

"We should go out together somewhere on the weekend," she rattled on. "Daniel and me, you and-Kenny, right? And maybe

Guthrie? Daniel says he dates a friend of yours."

"Kristin," I supplied.

"Right. Kristin," she said, with a nod. "Well, we could see a movie or somethin'. That would be fun."

I wasn't about to commit to any such a thing. I was starting to feel the beginnings of a headache.

"So-where do you two want to grab somethin' to eat?" Daniel was asking.

"Is there a nice Italian place 'round here?" Jill asked.

"There's the pizza parlor," I said, flippantly. "That's about as Italian as we get 'round here."

"Oh," Jill said, sounding a bit subdued. I glanced at her and then at Daniel and he was giving me a look, well, it wasn't a

_good_ look. He looked irritated. Mad, almost.

I wrinkled my forehead at him, wondering what was going on _now. _ Before I could ask or figure it out, Daniel

said, "There's a good place in Angels Camp that serves Italian."

"If that's what you want to eat," she said, and he squeezed her hand.

"Sure," he said. "Sounds good."

He didn't even ask me what I thought after that, and I rolled my eyes, wishing that I'd told him that I didn't want to

go along to Stockton. I could have called somebody else to come and pick me up.

7

So we went to U-Ghetti's, the restaurant in Angels Camp that serves Italian food. We were seated in a booth, and I was looking

around. I hadn't been here in a really long time.

Daniel and Jill were looking over the menu and discussing what they were going to order.

They both decided on spaghetti, and Jill was happy when she saw that there was panettone.

"I haven't had that in forever," she said.

As the waitress approached our table, Daniel looked across at me. "What are you gonna have?"

"I'll take the spaghetti, too," I said.

He nodded, and ordered three spaghetti dinners, and a plate of garlic bread, with salads on the side. When the waitress asked

about drinks, I said just water for myself, Jill ordered a Coke, and Daniel ordered a beer.

The drinks and salads were brought quickly, I guess because it wasn't all that busy yet for the supper hour.

I drank half of my water as soon as it was brought over.

Jill surveyed me over the top of her Coke glass.

"You can't have Coke, huh?" she asked me, sounding sympathetic. "Because your diabetes is so bad?"

"I can have it if I want," I said. "I just try not to drink it all the time. And it's not that my diabetes is _so bad-"_

I saw that Jill was listening, seemingly intently. I speared a cherry tomato with my fork, and put it in my mouth.

"I already had a Coke earlier," I finished lamely, and poured some more Italian dressing over my lettuce.

"My brother has diabetes," Jill said. "He has to be really careful. It's like the list of things he can't have is longer than

the list of things that he can."

I chewed my mouthful of lettuce, thinking back to earlier, when I was fairly sure that Jill had told the room full of

family that there was only she and her sister in her family. No mention of a brother. I flicked a glance at Daniel, but

he only met my eyes in return, taking a drink of his beer, and not saying anything.

I just thought that was _weird._ Why would Jill say she had only one sister, and then later mention another sibling?

I ate my salad, and then most of my spaghetti when it was brought over. By the time I ate garlic bread, I was stuffed.

Jill talked the whole time. Throughout the entire meal. She talked to Daniel mostly, but would include me in some

of the stuff. I mostly just nodded, or raised an eyebrow in question. Stuff like that. She really hardly ate much at all.

I stayed quiet the rest of the way home. I was glad when Jill quieted down, too.

At the house, I got out, gathering up my backpack, and I heard Jill telling Daniel that she had a headache.

They were talking really softly, and I went on up the front stairs and into the living room. My classic 'foursome' of

greeters was there. _Brian and Clare, Adam and Hannah._

Hannah smiled at me. "Did you have a good afternoon?"

"It was okay," I said, vaguely.

I set my backpack in the nearest empty chair.

"Did you eat?" Hannah asked.

"Yeah. Spaghetti at Angels Camp. Have you heard from Crane about how Ivy's mom is?" I asked.

"He called and said he was spending the night there. The hospital was going to keep Ivy's mother for overnight observation," Adam

said.

"She didn't break any bones, though," Hannah added.

"That's good," I said.

"It really is," Clare said. "With an elderly person, it's especially a good thing when nothing is broken."

"Where'd you leave Daniel and Jill at?" Brian asked.

"They're coming in," I said, shortly.

"Guthrie fed the goats and did the rest of your chores for you," Adam told me.

"Oh, okay. That's nice," I said. "Where is he?"

"Upstairs. He said he had a lot of homework to do," Hannah said.

"Speakin' of homework," Adam said. "Do you have a lot to do?"

"Enough," I admitted.

"You feelin' okay?" he asked me then.

"I ate a ton," I said, in answer. "More than anybody else."

Daniel and Jill were inside by this point, and Adam said, "You did, huh?" to me.

At my nod, he said, "That right, Daniel? Harlie says she out-ate you at the spaghetti place."

Daniel looked at Adam, and then at me, and then went on about the business of closing the front door, and helping

Jill take her jacket off.

"She ate good, alright," Daniel said.

"That's the place we keep talking about going to," Hannah was saying to Adam. "What's it called? U-something?"

"U-Ghetti," Jill supplied.

"That's right," Hannah said. "Did you like it?" she asked Jill.

"Yeah, it was good," Jill said. She gave everybody in the room a wan smile. "If you all will excuse me, I'm going up to

bed."

Adam nodded to her, and Hannah and Clare both said 'good night'.

Jill gave Daniel another weak smile, and he said, "Goodnight, babe."

"Goodnight, all," Jill said, and headed up the stairs.

When Jill had gone, Hannah asked Daniel, "Everything alright with Jill?"

"Yeah. She says she just ate too much," Daniel said.

_Ate too much? Right._ For someone who'd wanted Italian food specifically, and maintained that she was starving beforehand, Jill had

really eaten very little during the meal.

I had the thought that she'd been too busy talking to eat.

"Maybe Harlie ate Jill's share, huh?" Adam said lightly, teasing.

"Yeah. Maybe," Daniel said. Quietly.

Now, there's not a stupid McFadden in the whole bunch. Sometimes they can be a bit obtuse. But, not stupid, and usually not

totally unobservant, either. So, when Daniel gave a half-smile to the whole group, and said, "I've got notes I wanna write down. I

think I'll head on up, too. See ya all in the mornin'," well, this didn't go without raising curiousity.

"You feelin' alright?" Adam asked him, much as he had me just a few minutes earlier.

"Yeah. I'm fine," Daniel said. He clapped Adam on the shoulder, and dropped a kiss on the top of Hannah's head, and Hannah reached

up to squeeze his hand.

As he passed behind me on his way around the couch, he said, "Night, squirt." He headed on towards the stairs,

with a 'Night, Clare. See ya in the morning, Brian."

Brian and Clare both said a goodnight, and I did, too.

"What's up with Daniel?" Brian asked me, when Daniel had gone.

"I don't know," I said. After all, it wasn't a lie. I didn't really know what was wrong with Daniel. Not exactly. He was aggravated

with me, sure, and I with him. But, I didn't think that was what sent Daniel upstairs so early, and not being his usual self. Usually,

he would have sank down on one of the couches and hung around to talk with them all, even if he and I had had words. Not that that

was very common. Because, it was not.

It was very uncommon. And, it made my stomach hurt that it was happening now.

"He didn't say anything?" Brian asked me, still obviously wondering what was going on with Daniel.

"Not really," I said.

"Maybe he's just tired," Hannah allowed. "That long drive could just now be catching up to him."

"Yeah. He'll be alright after a good night's rest," Adam said.

"I better get started on my homework," I said, picking up my backpack to sling it over my shoulder.

"Sit down here with all of us and do it," Hannah suggested. I could tell she really wanted me to do that, but I wanted to

be alone. I felt all unsettled, somehow.

"I've got a lot of work-" I said, not wanting to hurt her feelings.

"We'll be quiet," Hannah promised with a smile. "Won't we?" she asked, looking at Adam.

"We could be," Adam agreed.

"Well-" I said.

"You can go on up to your room if you want to," Adam said, quietly. I shot him a look, and I knew that he knew. How I was really feeling,

I mean.

I nodded, grateful, and gave Hannah a half-smile. "Maybe I'll come back down later," I told her.

Hannah nodded, and I knew she understood, too. Maybe not as much as Adam, but she knew I needed my space.

I went upstairs, to my bedroom, and changed to a pair of cut off shorts, and old t-shirt. After that, I just laid on my bed

for a few minutes, starting at the ceiling, instead of getting right to work. After I'd decompressed or whatever for a few minutes,

I settled into getting my Phycology finished. That wasn't too bad. I answered the questions on the Anatomy worksheet. That left

only Trigonometry. I did the first three problems, and then stood up to stretch, leaving my books and papers on my bed. I found

a pair of socks and put them on, and then pulled my boots on.

I went out, pulling my door closed. I looked down the hall towards Crane's bedroom, thinking about going to talk to

Daniel. I decided against it, though. Instead, I went down the back stairs. I could hear voices in the kitchen. Clare and Brian were

there, along with Hannah. Clare was sitting on Brian's lap at the table, holding a strawberry up to Brian's mouth, and then pulling it back out, teasing him.

Hannah was busy rooting thru the silverware drawer. I stood there for a couple of moments, then I spoke up.

"Bri, can I ride the four-wheeler up to the cabin?"

Brian stopped teasing with Clare to look at me. "Now?" he asked, seeming surprised.

I nodded. "Yeah. Just for a little while. I haven't seen Evan and Nancy much lately. I just want to say hi."

I could tell that Hannah didn't want me to. She stopped searching for whatever it was that she'd been looking for in the

drawer, and turned to listen.

"Not for long, Hannah," I preempted any protest she might make.

"They'll be here for supper tomorrow night," Hannah said, and I knew that was her suggestion that I wait.

"That's good," I said, but I kept my eyes on Brian. "Can I?"

"It's goin' on seven now," Brian pointed out.

"I won't stay long," I said. For the third time. I couldn't explain it all right at that moment. But, I wanted to be outside,

and I _did_ feel like seeing Nancy and Evan.

"Homework done?" Brian asked me.

"Everything but Trig," I said honestly. "I'll get it done."

He looked considering, and I said, "Please, Bri," quietly.

Brian nodded. "Yeah. Okay. Be back before it gets dark. That means leave up there _before_ it starts gettin' dark, alright?"

"Yes," I said. "Thanks."

I went out before Hannah could say anything more, though I knew she wouldn't tell me I couldn't go, or anything like that.

She wouldn't try to ride over Brian.

I went quickly to the barn, stopping long enough to rub Fat Clarence on his belly. Warrior followed me as I rode out

on the four-wheeler. I'd thought for a couple of moments that I wasn't going to be able to get it started, but I finally did.

I drove at full speed once I was out of sight of the house, letting the wind whip thru my hair. The part that wasn't covered by my

ball cap would be a mass of tangles, but I didn't care right then.

**7**


	13. Roar of an ATV

I'd taken the longer way to the cabin, because there was more grassy paths to ride on, so, therefore, I could go faster. I

was roaring along, when I saw, out of the corner of my left eye, something, or someone, coming up alongside of me.

When I twisted my head to look, I saw that it was Evan, riding on his own four-wheeler. Motors too loud to talk over, obviously,

but Evan grinned at me, and then held up three fingers, and raised his eyebrows in question.

I knew just what he was suggesting, and I grinned back, nodding.

He lowered one finger, then a second one, then let the last one drop, and I put everything the old ATV had in getting

ahead of him, racing towards the cabin. I was fairly sure that Evan gave me a bit of a head start, but he caught up

easily enough. Too easy. He passed me, cutting in front, and giving me a triumphant salute.

I turned and shot over another hill, gaining speed, and passed him, laughing, and giving him a smartass salute

like he'd done to me. I was still laughing, just in pure glee and joy, when he passed me yet again, shaking his head

at me, and then he was gone, out of sight.

I had no chance to catch up with him after that. He was in front of the cabin, and already leaning back on the seat of

his four-wheeler, with the motor off, by the time I got there.

"What took ya so long?" he scoffed teasingly, over my motor.

I shut off the engine, and surveyed him. "If I had something fit to race you on, instead of this old piece of junk-then it

might be a fair contest," I said.

"Yeah, yeah," he mocked, swinging his leg over and standing. "What are you doin' up here?"

I sat where I was, and said, "Can I not come and visit you?" in a pretend hurt tone.

"Only on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays," he teased back. "What day is this?"

"Thursday."

"Oh. Right. Well, then I guess you can visit," Evan said.

"Good. Cause I wasn't gonna leave right yet," I informed him.

"Well, you might as well come on in, since you're here," he said, reaching over to yank my cap down over my eyes.

I pushed my cap up again, and got off to follow him into the cabin.

There was a cute welcome mat outside the door, that proclaimed, '_Nice Boots'_ in big black letters.

Evan opened the door, and ushered me in front of him.

There were so many new things, changes to the small cabin, that for a couple of minutes I just looked all

around.

"Wow, Ev," I said, taking in the shelves that had been built, and the partition that had been put up to separate the bedroom. The

kitchen cabinets were painted a light brown, with darker brown around the trim. There was a big vase of sunflowers in the center

of the table. "You've done so much-" I said.

"Nancy did most of the paintin', and stuff," Evan said.

"Where is she?" I said, realizing that her small car hadn't been out front.

"She was gonna go and talk to her sister for awhile after work," Evan said. "She'll be here after a bit."

"Okay," I said.

Evan went to the refrigerator and opened it, taking out a beer. "Want somethin' to drink?" he offered.

I came over to stand beside him, peering into the small fridge. "What you got?" I asked.

"Coke. Dr. Pepper. Lemonade, milk," Evan said.

"Lemonade," I said. "Please."

Evan pulled out the jug of lemonade and handed it off to me. "You can pour it yourself," he said. "Don't expect me to

wait on you."

I took the jug from him and bumped him purposely on my way to the cabinet to take down a glass.

When I'd poured a glass of lemonade, I went to sit opposite him in the second easy chair.

"The lamp looks good there," I said, gesturing to the lamp that Guthrie, Daniel, Ford and I had given as a wedding present.

"Yeah. It's nice havin' more light in here," Evan said.

I tucked my legs up underneath my butt, and we sat for a couple of moments, sipping at our drinks.

"So, what's up?" he asked me.

"Same old same old," I said. "Teachers never really change. There's still a lot of homework. Not that you'd really know about that

part, right?" I teased.

"I was a brilliant student," Evan corrected. "I just tried to hide my brilliance so I didn't make the teachers feel unworthy to teach me-"

I laughed. "_Right." _

He smiled, and then seemed to turn serious, all of a sudden. "For real, though, Har," he said. "What's up?"

"I told you-I just wanted to come and visit," I said. "I miss you."

Instead of coming back at me with a joke or a smartass comment, Evan remained serious. "I miss you, too," he said.

For some reason, that made me turn _crazy. _ Weepy. Emotional. I could feel tears threatening, and I looked away from his

gaze.

"It's not like we don't see each other-" he began.

"I know. It's just different," I said. "With you not being there at breakfast every morning, and right down the hall at night-"

"I'm around all the time, though," he pointed out.

"I know," I said. "I'm just being dumb. As usual."

For a long few moments Evan was silent, and then he said, "Hey," to me.

"Don't be callin' yourself dumb, you hear me?" he said. I met his eyes, and found I was still surprised, even after all

this time. When had Evan gotten to be tender? Gentle? Good with feelings? It still caught me off guard sometimes.

"I'll tell you when you're acting dumb, if it needs done," he said, then, effectively taking the tender moment and replacing it with Evan-like humor.

For some reason, that teasing made me feel better. I smiled at him, thru the threatened tears.

"And, you would, too," I said.

For a couple of moments, we were quiet, and he leaned back in the chair.

"You wanna talk about whatever it is?" he asked, then.

"It's not any one particular thing," I said, brushing at my cheek. "Things just pile up sometimes."

"Yeah. I understand that, alright."

"Kenny had an idea about D.C.," I said, straying from what was really bothering me.

"What's the idea?"

"That since he really seems to prefer males, you and Brian mostly, that maybe it would be better if you were the one to try

riding him-"

"I didn't know you were thinkin' about riding him," Evan said.

"Well, I wasn't really, but Brian thinks he's depressed, and Kenny thinks maybe it's because he misses being ridden and all.

Since he's feeling better physically," I said.

"Hmm," Evan said.

"It's just an idea," I said.

"Yeah. I didn't say it's a bad idea. I don't know how much time I have right now to help you out, though, shortcake."

"I know you're busy," I said. "It's okay."

"If you're thinkin' to try riding him, then yeah, you shouldn't be the one to try it first," Evan said. "The way he reacts, sometimes,

he might put you down. I don't want you to get hurt."

Instead of arguing that point, as I once might have, I nodded. "Okay."

"Maybe we can take a couple hours Saturday morning," he said. "I can try riding him, and we'll see how he does."

"Okay. Thanks, Ev," I said.

"Sure."

We exchanged glances and I asked, quietly, "Do you like Jill?"

Evan shrugged. "I don't really know her yet, well enough to say, I mean."

I knew that was probably true, and that he wasn't just avoiding the question. He wouldn't really have any reason to

avoid the question, anyway.

"She seems okay," he went on. "Sort of flighty, maybe."

_Flighty._ I thought that was a good word to describe Jill and her actions.

I nodded. "Yeah," I said, in agreement.

"You've spent more time with her than I have," Evan said. "How do you like her?"

I hesitated, and met his eyes. "I don't really. Like her," I said, honestly. And, it made me feel bad to say it, though I didn't recognize

that until later.

"How come?" he asked.

"She's sort of a know-it-all," I said. "And, she asks about things that aren't her business. And-" I paused, "I think she

wants Daniel to not be a part of the ranch anymore."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"About the ranch part of it?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"A couple nights ago, she was talking to me and she said how Daniel was made for better things than just feeding hungry cows. That he

was too talented and was meant for something better," I said.

Evan was surprised, I could tell. He wrinkled his forehead, looking thoughtful.

When he was quiet, I said, "You don't think that's right, do you?"

"She's entitled to her opinion, Har," Evan said, mildly.

"Who are you, and what have you done with Evan?" I demanded, feeling let down by his lack of fervor at what I'd divulged.

Evan raised his hands, palms up, in a gesture of 'oh well'. "Well, she is," he said. "Besides, just because she thinks that way,

that doesn't mean that Daniel feels the same. I've never gotten any vibes from him about not wanting to be involved with the ranch."

"Maybe it's something new that he's thinking about, or feeling," I mused. "Maybe when you have a real serious conversation with

him, then he'll tell you."

"What's keepin' _you_ from asking Daniel about it yourself?" Evan asked.

That was Evan for you. Getting right to the heart of things.

"I don't know," I said, lamely. "He might get mad or something."

"Why would he get mad if you asked him somethin' like that?" Evan asked, looking puzzled.

"I don't know," I said, again.

Evan was regarding me with a totally wrinkled forehead, and an expression that said he thought I was cuckoo.

"Things feel weird," I said, in vague explanation.

"With Daniel?"

When I nodded, he sat back in his chair, and nodded briefly. "Because he brought a girl home, like for the first time, really. That's

probably it," he said.

I sat up really straight, and set my lemonade glass on the table by the lamp. "Like you think I'm jealous, or something?" I

asked haughtily. I was more than a bit _offended. _

"That's just weird, Evan!" I went on. "And, it's not _true-"_

Evan shrugged, not seeming concerned by my outrage. "I didn't mean like in a weird way," he said. "And I think maybe it

might be true."

"It is _not,"_ I protested. "That would make me like-" I pushed hair out of my face. "Like a preschooler, or something! It has nothing to

do with being jealous-I want Daniel to be happy!"

"Simmer down," Evan said. "I'm just pointing out somethin' that you might not have thought about."

"Thought about myself being a selfish, immature little bitch, you mean?" I said, almost in a challenge.

"Whoo whee," Evan said, shaking his head. "You are _for sure_ all stirred up."

He stood up and went to throw his beer can away in the trash, and then went to pull down a bag of popcorn, and put the

sack into the microwave. The sounds of popping, and the smell filled the small room.

He took out a bowl from the cabinet, and when the popcorn was finished, he emptied some of it into the bowl. Carrying it and

the bag both he came back over to where I was sitting.

"Bowl or bag?" he offered.

"Bowl," I said, and he handed it to me.

"Thanks," I added, as he went to sit back down in his chair, and munching on the popcorn in the bag.

"You're welcome."

I took my own handful of popcorn, and munched it. "Sorry," I said, into the silence. "I guess I'm edgy."

Evan raised his eyebrows so high that it was comical, and said, "Yeah? You _think?"_

I smiled at him. "You're funny," I told him.

"Yeah. I thought about goin' into stand up comedy, but-there's all those hungry cows that need me," Evan said.

I smiled again at his reference to the 'hungry cows' comment.

"Yeah. You wouldn't wanna let those hungry cows go hungry," I quipped.

We could hear a car's engine as it approached.

"Nanc is home," Evan said.

I nodded, glad that I was going to get to see Nancy.

Evan stood up, and went to the front door, opening it.

I could still hear Nancy's car engine, as she was parking.

"Hey," Evan said, and I looked at him.

"All I'm sayin' is, think about it, and make sure that you're not disliking Jill because you're used to havin' Daniel

to yourself," Evan said.

Ouch. "Don't spare my feelings or anything," I said, in a weak attempt at joking.

"I'm not tryin' to hurt your feelings, or piss you off," Evan said. "You were lookin' for some advice when you came up

here, right?"

"Advice. Brotherly support," I said.

"There you go, then," he said, as if he'd given me a gift.

"You could have been a little gentler about it," I said, not really joking.

"Aw, you wouldn't know what to do if I was too gentle about tellin' you what I think," Evan said.

Nancy came in, giving Evan a quick kiss, as he handed her the bag of popcorn.

"Hey, wild child," she greeted me, with a welcoming smile.

"Hi, Nanc," I said.

Nancy said she was glad I'd come up, and we started talking, and by the time it was time for me to head back

home, Evan said he would ride down with me, since dusk wasn't far off.

I protested that he didn't need to, but he did it, anyway. We didn't try talking over the roar of the ATVs, but, at the house,

after I'd parked the one I'd been riding on, Evan still sat on his.

"Are you coming in?" I asked him, gesturing to the house, where lights were beginning to shine out of the windows.

"Naw, not tonight."

I knew he was no doubt anxious to get back to the cabin to spend time with Nancy.

I walked over to stand next to his ATV. "Thanks for letting me hang out," I said.

"Anytime. You know that, right?" he asked me. "I was just joking when I said all that stuff-"

"Oh, I know that," I said. I rubbed my hands up and down my arms. I was chilly for the first time, even after riding

down with the wind blowing.

"Just maybe get to know Jill a little better first, before you make up your mind definitely about her," Evan said.

I studied him, and then I nodded. "Yeah. That's a good point," I said.

"See ya tomorrow," he said.

"Yeah," I said, rubbing at my arms again, trying to warm up. "You and Nancy are comin' for supper, right?"

"That's the plan. Let me know when you're up for another race, okay?" he said, as he started the motor

on his ATV again.

"Like I said," I said, raising my voice to be heard, "If I had something decent to ride, I could get to Murphys and back

before you even left the yard."

"Big talk for a little girl," Evan told me, grinning.

**7**


	14. Night chats

Brian met me on the front porch as I headed up the steps.

"I thought I heard motors out here," he said. "Evan ride down with you?"

"Yeah. I told him he didn't have to, but he did it, anyway."

"How's everything up at the cabin?" he asked.

"Good. They've done so much work-it looks great."

"Good."

"Yeah." I hesitated. "I guess I better see if there's any hot water left for a shower."

"Don't count on it," he said. "Don't forget you promised to get your math done."

"I will."

Brian held the door open, and ushered me inside in front of him.

I told Brian goodnight, and I went thru to the kitchen, did my shot, and fixed myself a snack of apple slices and peanut butter.

I went on up the back stairs, pausing at Adam and Hannah's bedroom door. I could hear their voices so I tapped lightly, and

when Adam opened the door, I said, "I just wanted to say goodnight."

"Come in, Harlie," I heard Hannah say, and I went in. Hannah was standing by the crib, patting Isaac's back. I stepped over

and saw that Isaac's eyes were closed, though he kept moving a little.

"He's having a hard time settling tonight," Hannah said, quietly.

I looked down at Isaac, feeling my heart swell up with love for him.

"Maybe he'll sleep thru the night tonight," Adam said, going over to the dresser and taking off his watch to lay it down.

"How are things up at the newlyweds?" he asked then.

"Good," I said.

Adam went over and sat down on the edge of the bed, untucking his shirt from his jeans.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Yeah. Evan and I had a good talk."

"That's good," he said, studying me. "I'm glad."

I nodded, and then gave Hannah a hug, and crossed to where Adam sat.

"Night," I said.

"Goodnight, sugar," he said, and reached up to hug me. "Don't stay up late."

"Sleep well," Hannah told me.

I closed the door quietly behind me, and went down the hall to my own bedroom. I set my plate of apple slices on my dresser,

and went to take a shower. It was quick. There was nearly no hot water left at all.

I got into my pajamas. I set to work on my math, munching on my apple snacks. It was a few minutes later, when I realized

that I kept thinking about Daniel. I hadn't been very nice to him that night. Even though he'd been wrong, I thought, about nearly

telling Jill about my trip to Tennessee, I could tell that he was sorry about it. And, I hadn't been very gracious about it.

And Jill _had_ been seeming to try and be friendly to me. Maybe I was being too persnickety where she was concerned. My first

impressions of her weren't the greatest, but after talking to Evan, I thought maybe I'd judged her too harshly.

Daniel deserved for me to give her a fair chance.

Before I thought it out overly much, I went out and down the hallway, to Crane's bedroom door. I hadn't noticed whether there

was a light on under the door or not, when I'd come down the hall from Adam and Hannah's bedroom.

Pausing outside, I saw there was a light shining out. Of course, he might have fallen asleep with the lights on, after

scratching down song lyrics or whatever he'd been working on. I stood outside for a couple of moments, feeling sad

that I had to sort of work of my nerve to knock. What was happening with Daniel and I?

I tapped. Really lightly. There was no response. I tapped again, slightly louder, slightly harder. Nope.

I gave up and began to head back to my room. I was halfway between my door and Crane's door, when

Daniel said, "Hey. Squirt? Were you knockin'?"

I turned to look back and saw that he was halfway in the doorway, and the hallway, looking after me. He was wearing a

pair of headphones that he had moved to rest around his neck.

"Yeah," I said. "I thought you were sleeping, maybe-"

"No, I was listenin' to some music." He reached up and jiggled the headphones. "I had these on. Guess I didn't hear

you at first."

"Oh," I said.

He surveyed me from where he stood, and after a moment he said, "Did you wanna talk to me?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Not if you're busy, though-"

Daniel gestured to me to come back, and said, "Come on," in invitation, before he disappeared back into the bedroom.

I walked slowly down to Crane's room, and stood in the doorway. There were papers laying all over the second bed, the one

that Daniel slept in when he was home. Daniel was wrapping the cord neatly around the headphones he'd been wearing.

I went over and sat down on the edge of the bed, as Daniel laid the headphones on top of the stereo.

He'd obviously been sitting at the desk, since it was covered with scraps of paper and pencils. He took the desk chair

and turned it around, sitting on it with his arms resting on the top.

He surveyed me with a half-smile, though he didn't say anything right away. I guess he was waiting.

"I wanted to thank you for supper," I said. I wished I didn't feel so awkward. It was the worst.

"You're welcome," he said. "I thought it was pretty good."

I nodded. "It was," I agreed.

Another moment of quiet.

"Are you writing a song?" I asked, gesturing to the papers strewn all over.

"I'm tryin'," he said, and laughed a little.

Okay. He didn't seem irritated.

"I guess I reacted sort of strong-about the Tennessee trip," I said, feeling my way into the conversation.

Daniel nodded. "Yeah. You did."

"I probably didn't explain it right-how I was feelin', I mean."

"I'd say you explained yourself fine," Daniel said.

I looked to him, wondering what to say next. Thankfully, Daniel took over.

"I understand what you were sayin'," he said. "You have a point. And, it's your story to tell, or not tell. I promise I won't

shoot my mouth off about it again."

"You weren't exactly shooting off your mouth," I said, and gave Daniel a small smile.

"It seems as though our afternoon got off on the wrong foot today," he said, then, slowly, as if he was thinking out the

words as he said them.

"I guess it did," I said.

"What started it off?" he asked.

It was direct question. I didn't really want to be put on the spot. I'd come in, thinking I would thank him for supper, and tell

him that I'd overreacted about my Tennessee bus adventure, and that would be that. And things would be okay.

"Was it when I said all that about the surprise stuff?" he asked.

I could have fibbed and just told him yes. I was hesitating, trying to decide when he saw my inner conflict or

whatever, because he said, "What?" in question to prod me to speak up.

"I'm not saying I don't understand, and I don't want to sound like some little brat, but-well, at first I thought it was just

going to be you and me going to Stockton," I told him.

There. I'd said it. I felt my face get all hot in embarrassment as Daniel gave me a clearly jarred expression.

"Oh," he said, and I saw him putting it all into place.

"Not all the time or anything," I said swiftly, not wanting him to think I was being totally ridiculous. "I know there's

lots around here that you wanna show Jill, and all. I just wondered if we could spend some time together-just you and me."

"Yeah," Daniel said, immediately. "We can. For sure." He studied me, looking a little perplexed. "Did you think we wouldn't?"

"Well," I hesitated. "I wasn't sure-I mean, I didn't know how long you were gonna be around, or how much time there

really was before you had to go back."

"Right," he said, clicking his fingernails on the back of the wooden chair. "I've been real vague about all that, I know."

I thought then that he might be going to tell me about Red, and what was going on with the Palamino Club and all of that.

But, he didn't. He said, "Right now, I've got no definite plans or a certain date to go back to Nashville. So I thought we'd

stay around for a few weeks, anyway."

Wow. I was surprised. Daniel had never stayed that long for a visit, well, except for the summer when he was home

the whole time. But, for a usual visit home, he usually only stayed a week or at the most two.

"That's great," I said, and I meant it.

I guess he could tell that I really did mean it, too, because he said, "You mean that, don't you?"

"Sure, I do," I said.

I waited, and then thought that I might as well ask. He could answer or not.

"Are you not going to work at the Palamino anymore?" I asked.

"I'm not sure right now," he said. "I might sometime again."

"Is Red going to stay there?" I asked. "And play backup for somebody else?"

"I don't think his plans are set in stone right now, either. He and I neither one were happy with the contract changes."

For some reason, I felt relieved. I'd been thinking that maybe Daniel and Red had had a falling out of some sort.

"They tried to change things?" I asked, scooting back on the bed, and sitting with my legs crossed Indian-style. It seemed as

though we were really 'talking' now, and now just saying words to each other. "Like give you less money?"

"Not that, no. Longer sets, less time to do the other stuff we want to do. Wanting us to hire a couple of the club owner's

nephews for the band. Things like that," Daniel said.

"Oh. Wow," I said.

"Red and I are both ready to do somethin' different, if it comes along," he said. "We may not agree on everything, but we do

agree on that."

Ah, now that made me start worrying again about Red, thinking he and Daniel had had a disagreement.

I wanted to ask, but thought maybe I shouldn't.

"Would you go somewhere besides Nashville?" I asked, instead. "Is that what you mean?"

"I hadn't thought that far ahead," he said.

"Oh." I tucked my legs up to my chin, and wrapped my arms around them. "It would be nice if you were closer to home."

"Thanks, squirt."

He held up a finger. "Let's go backwards for a minute. We were talkin' about spendin' some time together, right?"

"Right."

"Well, think of somethin' you wanna do," he said.

"It doesn't matter," I said. "Anything. I don't want it to be weird, or feel like we have to find some activity-that's not what

I meant, Daniel-"

"I know it's not. I didn't mean that, either," he said.

"It doesn't have to _be_ anything specific. We could just go riding or something," I told him.

"Okay. I get it," he said. "I'm jumping the gun again, like I did earlier."

We sat, looking at each other for a couple of long moments.

"Does Jill ride?" I asked.

"She can." He hesitated. "She hasn't in a long while, though-I really doubt if she will."

"Oh."

"How about we go ridin' tomorrow afternoon?" Daniel suggested. "You won't have work, right? Since Ivy's out of town?"

"I guess I won't," I said, thinking of that for the first time. "Yeah, that sounds fun."

"Cool," he said.

I untangled my legs, thinking that at least we'd talked a little, and I knew Daniel wasn't upset with me.

"I've got math to finish," I said, with regret.

Daniel stood up, as well, setting the chair back close to the desk. "See ya in the mornin', then."

"Okay," I said. "Night."

He stepped over and wrapped his arm around my neck, aiming a kiss at my left ear. "Night, brat."

**7**

I went back to my own room, finding that I felt better after having talked to Daniel like I had. There were still

some unanswered questions, but I guessed that I wouldn't get them all answered in one conversation.

**7**


	15. A day in the life

Jill was absent from the breakfast table the next morning. Clare came down a few minutes into the meal, but she did make it.

She looked sort of pale and haggard, and when Adam asked her how she was feeling, she said, "I'm fine. Just a little tired, is all."

"You ought to call in to the doctor's office," Brian told her. "Tell them you won't be in today."

"I can't do that, Brian," Clare said, sounding as if she'd already had this same argument. "They're counting on me to be there. This is

getting to be a real busy time-"

"Yeah. With all those germ-carryin' kids coming in there, with their noses running," Brian countered darkly.

"Brian, it's only today, and then the regular nurse will be back," Clare said.

"Well, this is it," Brian said, with finality. "I don't want you takin' on anything more for awhile."

Clare was in the middle of scooping some jelly onto her toast when Brian said that, and I saw her mouth tighten. She didn't say

anything in argument, though. At least not then. I wondered whether she would later. Clare was spunky, and had no problem voicing

her thoughts and wishes. Still, I was fairly sure that Brian, just as Adam was, was more or less the 'final say' in the marriage.

Hannah could 'give as good as she got', just as Clare could, but even Hannah stopped arguing when Adam got a certain look

on his face.

Evan came in, scraping his boots on the rug, and with everyone saying 'good morning'.

"Sit down and have something," Hannah told him.

"I ate already," Evan said, but he eyed the cinnamon rolls, and took his regular seat. "I guess I'll have one of these, though."

"You didn't have to twist his arm, Hannah," Adam said, with a grin.

"I've always got room for one of Hannah's cinnamon rolls," Evan said.

"How's Nancy?" Hannah asked him, now. "You're both still coming for supper tonight, aren't you?"

"Yeah. She'll be here after work," Evan said.

"Good," Hannah said, sounding satisfied. "And Ford will be getting home around four, I think."

"Everybody will be present and accounted for," Brian said, sounding pleased.

"Crane, too?" Daniel asked. "He gonna be back today?"

"I think so," Hannah said. "Isn't that what he said when you talked to him, Adam?"

"Yeah, he was thinking this afternoon sometime. Unless Ivy's dad took a turn for the worse," Adam said.

"Hannah turned to look at me. "So, no work for you today, right?"

"No. "

"You're riding with Guthrie to school?"

"I guess," I said, and then nudged Guthrie. "If it's _okay."_

Guthrie shrugged, and said, around his mouthful of cinnamon roll, "Don't have a choice, do I?"

"Can somebody come and pick me up?" I asked, ignoring Guthrie's attempt at humor. "At one?"

"I'll come and get you," Hannah said, just as Clare spoke up and said, "I can. I get my lunch at 12:30. I can pick Harlie

up and then we can come home together. If you don't mind hanging around the doctor's office until two-thirty when I get off. Will

that work, Harlie?"

I didn't particularly care to wait around a doctor's office for any length of time, but I knew we needed to save gasoline and all

the guys would be out working somewhere.

So I said, yes, and told Clare thanks.

"Your truck should be done," Adam said. "When you get back to Murphys, you can see if it's ready, and then you could come

on home."

Now that suited me fine. "Should I stop at the bank and draw out some more money?" I asked Adam. "To pay for the rod tire."

"Tire rod," Daniel corrected me, and I crossed my eyes at him comically.

"Tell Jake to send us a bill," Adam said. "You can go in next week sometime and pay it."

I said okay.

"How's Jill feeling?" I heard Hannah asking Daniel, as everybody was getting up, and leaving the table. "Better? Or have you

talked to her this morning?"

"Yeah. I did," Daniel said, quietly. "She's feelin' better. Thanks, Hannah."

"Does she need anything this morning? Before I start laundry?"

I was listening, without even pretending that I was not.

"No, she said she just wanted to sleep," Daniel said.

Hannah nodded, and Daniel reached out to wrap an arm around Hannah, giving her a tight hug. It seemed as though

they were saying something unspoken between them.

I was still watching them curiously when Guthrie called to me to 'shake a leg', and Daniel broke apart from his hug

to Hannah.

He passed in front of me, as I stood there. "See ya later, squirt," he told me, and followed Brian and Evan outside.

Guthrie stuck his head back into the kitchen. "Har, come on."

"I'm coming," I told him.

Adam was still standing there, too, refilling his coffee cup, as Hannah began stacking the dishes to wash.

"What's wrong with Jill?" I asked Hannah.

"She wasn't feeling well this morning," Hannah answered, without pausing to look at me.

"She seemed okay last night," I said.

"Maybe so," Hannah said. "Daniel just said she wasn't feeling all that great."

"I think she likes attention," I said.

Both Adam and Hannah gave me their full on looks at that point.

"Harlie-" Hannah said, sounding mildly scolding.

"I didn't mean it in a _bad_ way," I said. "I'm only making an observation."

"Well-" Hannah began. Probably with the intent to tell me I needed to be kinder, or less vocal with my opinions, or such.

"Harlie," Adam said. "Guthrie's waitin'. You get on now, before you're both late for school."

I swept my eyes from Hannah's face to his. He was sipping at his coffee, and looking at me over the top of his cup.

"I'm going," I said, and started towards the living room to grab my backpack. "Bye, Hannah."

"Goodbye, sweetie."

"Have a good day," Adam said. I turned back to give him a cheeky smile.

"Bye," I said.

**7**

I got back a test back in trigonometry, with a B-, which I didn't consider bad at all. I tucked it into my stuff to

take home, thinking about how Crane would be pleased.

I ate lunch outside, at the regular table, sitting beside Kenny, and with Guthrie and Kristin and Lori and Trent gathered around, too.

Trent was asking Guthrie and I about Jill, saying that he had seen a girl driving Daniel's truck in Angels Camp a couple of days

before.

"During the day?" I asked him.

"Yeah. It was Tuesday-cause I was late gettin' to school, and I remember seein' Daniel's truck stopped at a stop sign."

"She probably wanted to get away from the house for awhile or somethin'," Guthrie offered.

"Away from any work," I said, and then I felt ashamed of myself. I'd already forgotten the promise I'd made to myself to

treat Jill more friendly, and give her a chance.

"What's she like?" Lori was asking.

I shrugged in answer, and Guthrie said, "She's sort of hard to get to know."

"She says she can't wait to meet you," I told Kenny.

"Yeah?" he asked, looking surprised.

"Uh huh." I squeezed Kenny's hand, where he was holding mine underneath the table.

"So-come over tomorrow?" Guthrie was asking Kristin. "I can pick you up if you want. Hannah's plannin' a big

meal with everybody."

"I'll let you know if I need a ride," Kristin said. "I might be able to get Mom to bring me out before she goes to work. It might

be early, though-"

"That's perfect," Guthrie said.

As we were getting up, to return our lunch trays, and throw away our trash, I fell behind with Kenny.

"Can you come over tomorrow?" I asked him.

"Yeah. I'll be over. Not until later in the afternoon, though. I've got to help my Pop do some stuff first."

We were heading back into school, and teachers were lined up outside their classroom doors, so Kenny just leaned

closer and said, "Maybe we can get off by ourselves for awhile tomorrow-do you think?"

I smiled at him, and nodded.

At just before one o'clock, I went to the office to wait for Clare. She came just a couple of minutes later, signing me

out, and we walked out to her car together.

We talked about what sort of a day we'd each had so far, and she commented that she would be glad to get off at two-thirty and

get home.

"I'm going to soak my feet," she said.

"Are you glad today's the last day of filling in?" I asked her.

"I am. They asked me to work at the end of next week too, though. For the flu vaccinations. They need more help."

"Are you going to?" I asked her curiously, remembering Brian's edict at breakfast.

"I'm not sure. We could use the money alright," Clare said. "But Brian won't go for it."

That's the thing I like about Clare. Well, one of the _many, many_ things I like about her. She talks to me as though I'm

grown, or nearly, and not as if I'm not just a kid, who has no sense.

"Do you mind that he's like that?" I asked curiously.

"You mean, all 'lord of the manner', and all of that?" she asked, looking amused.

"Yeah."

"That's part of his charm," Clare said. Then, as we turned on the street to Jake's Garage, she said, "I'm actually so tired

lately that if he wants to make the decision about me _not_ working right now, then I'm probably not going to fuss about it, to be

honest." She smiled at me. "Don't tell the advocates for women's rights. I'd be on their black list for talking like that."

Clare parked in front of the garage, and told me to go in and ask if my truck was done while she waited outside.

I went in, hoping that I wouldn't have the misfortune to run into Old Vernon. Luckily, I didn't. Jake took me up to the office,

handed me my keys, and then said he would send a bill.

So, when I came out, Clare said she would get back to work, and would see me later.

I drove on home, taking my time about it, and enjoying having my own transportation back again. When I did pull into

the driveway and up to park, I saw brothers on horseback in the far distance, past the barn. I watched for a few minutes to

see if I could tell what they were doing. Some were standing, and seemed to be in a circle.

When I went into the house, to drop my backpack, Hannah was sitting on the couch, holding a sleeping Isaac.

"Hi, sweetie," she said softly.

"Hi," I said, low. "What's everybody doing in the far pasture?"

"The bull is sick," Hannah said.

"Oh, no," I said, grasping the horribleness of that statement. The bull wasn't ours. He was on loan from a

neighbor.

"Is it bad?" I asked.

"I don't know. Adam only had a few minutes to talk when he came in earlier. He was trying to find the number for a

vet in Stockton. None of the guys have even eaten lunch yet."

"Ivy will be home soon-" I began.

"We didn't know an exact time, so Adam was hoping to get someone out here more quickly."

"Oh." I saw the laundry baskets overflowing with clean but unfolded laundry. "Do you want me to help you with the

stuff in the house?"

"I can manage," Hannah said. "I have an idea, though. You could take some sandwiches and things to the guys, so at least they'll

be able to grab a bite."

I said okay, and went upstairs to change to old jeans, and tattered t-shirt. I went back down to the kitchen, where Hannah

was now busy making roast beef sandwiches, ham sandwiches, and putting them all into a picnic basket.

"Can you manage this?" she asked me.

"Yeah. I'll take the four-wheeler," I told her. "Easier to carry than on a horse."

Hannah managed to press a bag of potato chips into the basket on top of the sandwiches.

"Now some cookies," she said, and began wrapping foil around oatmeal cookies, chocolate chips cookies, and banana bread.

"Since you're taking the four-wheeler, maybe you could manage a thermos of sweet tea," she suggested.

I said I could, and began filling a gallon thermos with sweet tea from the refrigerator.

"Tell them there's two sandwiches apiece," Hannah said, and I nodded.

"Where's Jill?" I asked, quietly, as we worked.

"She left earlier. She said she had some shopping to do," Hannah said. I realized then that I hadn't noticed if Daniel's truck

was missing.

"Wow," I muttered under my breath.

As Hannah turned to me, I saw how tired she looked, and I knew for a fact how worried all the guys would be about the bull being sick, and

the possible financial consequences of that. At that moment, I didn't care if Hannah thought I was being too vocal, or if anybody would think

I was overstepping my bounds. I was _aggravated._

"That's ridiculous," I said.

"Harlie," Hannah said, again in her tired voice. I'd noticed the last few days that Hannah had seemed to be showing her tiredness

more. She is usually full of pep, but lately, not so much. Of course, Isaac had been teething and more fussy than usual.

"It _is,"_ I said, firmly.

"The house chores are not her job," Hannah said.

"Well, she could offer to help," I insisted. "She's eating, so she should help with dishes at least."

"For the amount that she eats, she doesn't need to bother," Hannah said. "She nibbles like a bird."

"Still, she's a guest, and she could offer to do something," I said.

"Harlie, you are so stubborn," Hannah told me. She smiled. "I _cannot imagine_ where you get that trait from."

"I'll bet, if Adam was standing here, and he didn't know I was nearby, that he would tell you the exact same thing-that she

should lift a finger to offer some kind of help," I said. "He only doesn't say it when I'm around because he doesn't want me to

think he's thinking that way. But, I _know."_

"Here," Hannah said, handing me the basket for one hand and the thermos for the other. "Scoot. Please."

**7**


	16. Family

I put the picnic basket behind me on the four-wheeler, and then hooked the thermos over one handle. I was almost up to

the area where I'd first seen all the guys. But, now it looked as though Evan and Daniel were herding the bull. I hung back a bit,

letting the motor idle, so I wouldn't startle the bull. Although he looked to be walking slow, head down, as Evan and Daniel

rode along either side of him.

When they'd gone far enough, I thought, I rode on up to where Adam and Brian were standing beside their horses,

talking. Brian was taking a long drink out of his water canteen.

They both said 'hey' to me in greeting, but not with any exuberance. That didn't bode well for the news of the bull.

"Hannah sent some food," I told them, after I'd turned off the motor, and was still sitting on the four-wheeler.

"Bless Hannah," Brian said, coming over closer to me. "What do we have?"

"Ham and roast beef sandwiches. Cookies. And sweet tea," I said, tapping the top of the thermos.

"Well, break me out one of the roast beef," Brian told me, and I tugged the picnic basket to the front, and opened it,

pulling out a sandwich to hand to him.

"Clare home yet?" he asked me.

"No, not yet. She gets off at two-thirty, she said."

"I thought it was earlier than that," he said. "How was she? Alright?"

"Yes. Alright," I said.

Brian went back to watching Evan and Daniel and the bull grow smaller in the distance.

"Where are they taking the bull?" I asked.

"To the pen at the cabin," Brian said.

I took out two more sandwiches. One of each kind. "Adam, what kind do you want?" I asked him.

"Oh, I don't know, sugar," he said, still looking off in the distance, as though deep in worried thought.

"It's not gonna help anything not to eat," Brian told him.

"You're right," Adam said, and turned to me. "I'll take a roast beef, too."

I handed it off to him, and pulled out Styrofoam cups from the basket, and poured them each a cup of the sweet tea.

Brian took a seat on one of the square bales of hay that had gotten left out in the field. It had the look of a hay bale that's

been left out in the weather, dark, and as if it might fall apart, straw by straw. But, he still sat down on it, and it held him

alright. Adam stayed standing, though, resting one hand on his horse, and eating with the other hand.

I got off the four-wheeler and brought the cups of sweet tea to them.

"What do you think is wrong with the bull?" I asked.

Adam sighed heavily. "I don't know," he said, sounding discouraged. "He's favorin' his leg."

"Ivy and Crane should be home soon," I said, trying to sound encouraging.

"We can hope," he said. "I've got a call into a vet at Stockton. It'd be better if Ivy was the one, though."

"Do you want me to ride back to the house and see if the other vet has called back yet?" I offered.

"The office said not to expect to hear back for a couple of hours," Adam said. "Thank you, though," he said, giving me

a half-smile. A worried half-smile.

"How about some of those cookies?" Brian asked me, and I went to burrow thru the basket, pulling out the foil-wrapped

cookies.

"Chocolate chip?" I asked him, and he nodded.

I handed him two cookies, and said, "There's a second sandwich. Hannah made two apiece."

"The cookies are good enough," Brian said.

"Adam?" I asked.

"No, thanks. No cookies for me."

"Do you want your other sandwich?" I asked him, offering it to him.

"Yeah, I'll take it," he said. He looked so tired, so _down,_ that I felt a gripping of concern. And worry.

From where we sat I could see Ivy's truck pulling down the long driveway.

"Look," I said, and I could tell they were both relieved.

"We'll head on up to the cabin," Adam told me. "Can you go down and tell Ivy where we'll be? If she stopped at the office, she

got the message I left."

"Yes," I said, already picking things up and putting them back into the basket.

"You can ride on up after that, and make sure Daniel and Evan get their sandwiches," he said.

"Okay," I said, and went to install the basket and thermos, and climb on.

They mounted and rode off and I rode in the opposite direction to the house. I rode really fast, and, just as I was approaching the

barn, the thermos bounced and flew off. I left it where it landed, and pulled to a stop, and shut off the motor. Ivy was standing on the

porch talking to Hannah, and Crane paused from where he stood on the bottom step of the porch, his arms full of two bags.

"Evan and Daniel herded the bull up to the pen at the cabin," I reported, pausing at the bottom step beside Crane. "Ivy, Adam says

for you to come up there."

"Alright," Ivy said, and immediately made her way down the stairs. I could see she was shifting into 'vet' mode.

"Do the guys have any idea what's going on?" she asked me.

"Adam said no. He didn't."

"I'll give these to you," Crane told Hannah, and handed off the two bags of groceries to her.

"Is some of this for tonight?" Hannah asked him, looking into the sacks.

"I was going to make up some tacos and smothered burritos,' Crane said. "Take some of the work off of you. I'll ride up to see if

there's anything I can do, and then I'll come back down and start cooking."

"Thanks," Hannah said, smiling at him, as if he'd told her the sacks held gold pieces.

Crane went to get into the truck with Ivy, and I drove back out and up towards the cabin, stopping to pick up

the thermos. I went a shortcut, but Ivy had to drive the easier terrain way, the way that was getting worn by Evan driving

back and forth every day.

I beat Ivy there, and parked in front of the cabin, and went to stand beside the pen where the bull was at. Adam and Brian, Evan

and Daniel were all leaning on the pen posts, looking in at the bull, who was ensconced in the squeeze chute.

I knew that chute hadn't been used for a long time, and I was surprised that it hadn't needed some WD-40 to get it to

open.

"Was it hard to get him in there?" I asked.

Daniel was the one who answered me. "No. He feels so puny he didn't even fuss much."

"I brought you and Evan sandwiches and stuff," I told him. "Want I should go get it for you?"

"Yeah, I could go for a sandwich," Daniel said.

I went back to the basket yet again, and toted it over to the pen, setting it on the ground.

I handed Evan and Daniel both a sandwich, and by that time Ivy and Crane had arrived, backed up to the pen, and

Crane was out, lowering the back tail gate.

By the time Ivy had determined that the bull had, she believed, been bitten by a snake on the right front lower leg, she gave it a

dose of antibiotics, and an anti-inflammatory drug.

"That will help keep the swelling down," Ivy said. "And the pain."

"Damn," Brian said. "That's one thing we haven't had trouble with much, is snakes."

"And it will help to keep him contained," Ivy said. "Since he's having trouble walking. We'll need to keep an eye on him, make sure

we don't have to open that area up, and get rid of the dead tissue."

They talked some more, and Evan told me to come inside with him to help carry out some beers. He took three and gave me three to carry,

and we walked back outside. All the guys took a beer, but Ivy refused the one Evan offered to her.

When Crane had finished his beer, Ivy suggested that it would help to run cool water over the bull's leg, before he was released from

the chute.

"If you have a garden hose," she told Evan.

"Yeah. We do," Evan said, and went to pull the garden hose out. It only just barely reached, and he bent down, running

the water onto the bull's swollen knee.

"Got supper to start," Crane said.

"I can come back tomorrow and see how he's doing," Ivy told Adam and Brian.

"Thanks, Ivy. Sorry to greet you with all this when you're just gettin' home. How's your dad?" Adam asked her.

"Frail. But, in one piece," Ivy said.

I wondered briefly what Ivy's elderly parents had thought of Crane, and if Ivy had introduced him as her boyfriend.

"You're stayin' for supper, aren't you?" Brian asked her.

"Of course she is," Adam said.

"I've been invited," Ivy said, giving Crane a special smile.

The two of them left, and I began gathering up the basket and thermos.

"I'll finish this up," Evan was saying, still running cool water over the bull's leg.

"Alright. Head on down when Nancy gets home," Adam said.

"Yeah, I'll probably grab a shower first," Evan said.

"We'll take Diablo down for you," Daniel told Evan, since Evan would be riding down with Nancy in her car most likely.

So, we all headed down, them on horseback, and me on the four-wheeler. I went around them and, while I didn't think I

was going overly fast, or being reckless, Brian yelled, "Slow that down!"

I was parking the four-wheeler, and had taken the basket and thermos into the house. Crane was busy in the kitchen,

and Ivy was coming back down the stairs, wearing a pair of clean jeans and shirt that I recognized as Hannah's.

"Thanks, Hannah," she said. "I didn't want to sit down at the supper table with those work clothes on."

"I'm glad they fit," Hannah said, eyeing Ivy.

Ivy is about the same height as Hannah, maybe a smidge taller, and a little slimmer in the hips, but the clothes did seem to

fit her well.

Crane took an apron out of the drawer, and tied it around Ivy's waist. I went out to do my regular outside chores, and

Guthrie and Ford were both arriving at the same time.

I went to greet Ford with a fierce hug, as he talked to everybody outside, getting caught up on things.

As I was coming out of the goat pen, I saw Jill, arriving home, in Daniel's truck. She got out, and began tugging

things out. Sacks of things, I couldn't tell just what.

"Jill was picking up some groceries," I heard Daniel telling Adam.

"Ford, come here!" Daniel was hollering, and Ford headed over to where Daniel stood with Jill.

I saw Jill rubbing Ford's shoulder and smiling really big.

Guthrie was passing by, returning a bucket to the feed shed, and he paused beside me.

"She's really something," I said, not in a complimentary way.

"Maybe she's gonna try to get along," Guthrie said.

"She's been gone all afternoon, shopping," I told him. "Hannah has so much to do around here, and she's done

_nothing_ to help out. It's ridiculous."

"Guess she thinks since she's a guest and all-" Guthrie said, with a shrug.

"So you think it's okay, then?" I demanded. "That she lays around or disappears, and doesn't do one single thing to

help out? She's been here like four days now. Hannah's _tired."_

I knew bringing Hannah into it would goad Guthrie. He doesn't like for anything or anyone to upset Hannah.

"Ivy's in the kitchen, helping Crane make supper. Even though Clare worked all day, I'll bet she's doing something-helping

with Isaac, or folding laundry, or _something._ Nancy will be here soon, and she'll jump in to help clear up the dishes afterwards.

When Kristin is here tomorrow, she'll see what she can do to help-" I went on.

"Yeah, okay," Guthrie said. "I get what you're sayin', Har. You don't have to convince me."

7

It was a large, _large,_ rowdy, group that was gathered around the table for Crane's smothered burritos and tacos. We had to

scoot in extra chairs, but everybody fit, somehow.

I have to say, whatever had been ailing Jill that morning had apparently gone away. She was all smiles, bright and vivacious. She still didn't

eat much. When it was time to clear the table and do the dishes, she didn't disappear. But, she also didn't lift a finger to help. She perched

herself on the edge of the table, and talked, mostly to Ford, but to Evan and Nancy, too. Guthrie and Brian were actually on dish duty, but

Nancy helped, like I knew she would, and Adam grabbed a towel to help dry dishes.

It was a rowdy time, and, now that they were more hopeful that the bull would recover, everybody seemed to be in a happy

lighter mood.

When the dishes were done, Hannah brought out two cakes that she'd found time to make. I don't know when she did, but she

managed.

Crane sat down at the piano later, Ford beside him, and they played a couple of duets. One jaunty and light-hearted. Daniel

played his guitar, too, and we all sang a couple of songs. It was the sort of evening that I love, the sort that makes me glad, glad,

glad that we have such a big family. We stayed up later than usual, but most of the guys were ready to head to bed by

ten. It had been a long day. In the chorus of goodnights, and last-minute snack grabs, Ivy said her goodnights, and Crane

walked outside with her.

Evan and Nancy left, and everyone else began to scatter to their respective sleeping quarters. I went to do my diabetes injection,

and went upstairs. The bathroom was empty, shockingly. I brushed my teeth, and smeared Noxema over my face. I was doing

that when Daniel paused in the doorway, a hand on either side of the door frame.

"Hey."

"Hey," I answered.

"Still using that stuff, huh?" he asked.

"Yep. I love it."

He grinned at me, and I said, "It was nice, hearing you and Crane and Ford play and sing again."

"Yeah. It was a fun evening. And, hey, we're gonna have that time together. Today was crazy, but we'll do somethin'

soon," he said.

"I know," I told him.

"Okay. 'Night, squirt."

"Aren't you gonna hug me?" I asked, pretending innocence.

"And get that stuff all over me? Nooo, thank you," he said.

"You mean this stuff?" I asked, and swiped a glop of Noxema from my own face onto his nose.

"Alright," Daniel said, "That's it, you're gonna get it now-" He wiped at his nose.

"What?" I said, filling my hand with more Noxema and stepping back. "Watch out-I'll rub it in your hair!"

"Oh, yeah?" he challenged, grinning.

"Yeah. And, you haven't had your haircut from Hannah yet-so it'll be a real mess," I said.

"Alright," Daniel said, holding up his hands as if in surrender. "You win this one-"

"Darn right," I said, gloating. I reached out and swiped more Noxema on his chin.

"Now, you're just bein' contrary-" he said, and I was so busy laughing that he got the jump on me. He snaked his hand out

and grabbed my wrist, and had me out in the hallway, lifting me up off my feet, my back against his chest, and his arms

wrapped around my waist.

That left me, off my feet, and kicking my legs helplessly in front, trying to get free of his hold on me.

I was winded before long at all. "Okay-Daniel," I said, breathlessly.

"Okay, what?"

"Put me-down, okay?"

"Nope. I don't think I will."

Crane appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Crane, help!" I hollered.

Crane paused, looking amused. "I imagine you provoked the situation, peanut."

"No-" I said, still breathless. "I didn't-"

Crane laughed. "You're on your own, kiddo," he said, and walked on towards his own bedroom.

I managed to free my hand, that had the glob of Noxema in it, reaching up backwards to rub it into Daniel's hair.

"I told you-" I was saying, as he whirled me around. That's when we saw Jill standing there, at the top of the stairs,

watching us. The look on her face. It caught me by surprise. It was full of something akin to sadness. Wistfulness, maybe.

Longing.

**7**


	17. A show of who's boss

In the midst of our tom-foolery, Daniel said, "Hey, babe," to Jill.

"Hi," she answered.

Daniel set me down, swiping at the face cream in his hair, as if trying to pull it out.

"You're just making it worse," I said, still amused. "You're spreading it out-not taking it off."

"You're a real comedian," Daniel said, and I smiled.

Daniel went over to stand near her. "Everything okay?" he asked, which I thought was a weird question. He'd only

just seen her downstairs. What could have happened since then?

"I remembered something I wanted to ask Hannah, so I went back down to do that," Jill said.

Daniel nodded in answer, and, since I didn't want it to get awkward, I went back into the bathroom, leaving the door open,

and washed off my face, patting it dry with a towel.

Daniel leaned into the doorway. "Rematch later, huh, squirt?"

"Sure thing," I told him, and he grinned, and went to Jill.

"I'm gonna talk to Adam for a bit," he said.

I heard Jill answering in a soft, too-hard-to-hear voice, and then, just as I was finishing up, she stood at the

doorway of the bathroom.

"I use that too," she said, nodding towards the Noxema container.

I'd seen Jill's array of makeup and face care products when I'd helped her carry up some clean laundry the day

before. It had been a quick, in and out sort of thing, but even so, I'd seen enough to be surprised that she would land claim

to using something as simple as Noxema.

"You do?" I asked.

"Yeah. There's nothing better than the feeling it gives your face," she said.

Exactly the way that I felt. I gave her a tentative smile.

"You and Daniel really are close," she said then.

I snapped off the bathroom light, and stood there, in the doorway. She seemed more _interested and curious_ than anything else. She

still sounded sort of wistful, or whatever.

"Yeah," I said. "We always have been."

"You're close to Guthrie, too," she said. More of a statement than a question.

"Yeah. We're pretty near in age, so we always had each other to hang around with."

Jill nodded, and took a few steps back. "You all are a real nice family," she said. "Daniel kept telling me-but it's different seeing it

for myself."

_Geez._ If she kept this up, I was gonna end up making her a friendship bracelet or something-

"We're pretty good," I said, modestly. "Mostly, we all get along."

In an abrupt change of topic, Jill said, "Your hair is so great-it's really thick."

"Mostly it's a pain," I said.

"I was a hairdresser in Georgia," she said. "For a little while. You want me to do a real tight braid on you? It will stay for

a couple of days, even sleeping on it."

"Um, sure, I guess," I said, and so, before I went to sleep that night, Jill took me off to the boy's room, where she

sat me in a chair, and did some fancy sort of braid. When she let me see my reflection of the back of my head with a

hand mirror, it looked like an intricately designed spider web.

"Wow," I said.

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah. It's-well, I've never seen anything like it," I said. I couldn't stop looking at it in the mirror.

"I know lots of styles," she said, breezily, gathering up her hair supplies to put back into a bag. "We can try out some more,

if you want."

"Yeah. Okay," I said. I handed her the hand mirror, and said, "Well, I better get to bed. We've got lots to do tomorrow."

"Yeah. Okay," she echoed. "You all are always busy 'round here, it seems like."

I paused, standing and looking at her. Maybe if she was _asked,_ she would join in more.

"Daniel says you can ride," I said. When she looked puzzled, I added, "Horseback."

"Oh," she said, and I thought she looked slightly panicked. "Yeah. I can. But-I don't."

"Oh." Now, I was the one who was puzzled.

"Hannah said I could help fix the meal for tomorrow evening," Jill said. And, I thought she actually sounded glad about it.

"That's cool," I said. "Well-" I went to the door. "Thanks for doing my hair."

"You're welcome, Harlie," she said.

I told her goodnight and went back down the hallway to my own bedroom.

Instead of answering questions, my time with Jill had only created more.

**7**

Brian made waffles the next morning. Waffles aren't something we have a lot of in the mornings, because they take

so long, and there's usually just not enough time.

But, when I got downstairs the next morning, dressed in my worn jeans and a sweatshirt for the cool morning air, he

already had a large platter of finished ones in the center of the kitchen table. Guthrie was already there, eating, as was

Crane, Adam and Hannah. There was a chorus of good mornings tossed around to me.

"Grab some before they're gone," Brian told me.

I went to pull down my sugar-free syrup from the cabinet, and then grabbed a container of yogurt from the refrigerator.

I took one waffle, and put some of my syrup on it, and ate that with my yogurt, and milk.

Adam and Brian were discussing the bull, and saying that when Evan got down to the house, he would be able to report

on how the bull was doing this morning.

"Your hair is so cute," Hannah told me, reaching out to touch the back of my head.

"Jill did it," I said, and Hannah smiled at me. She said no more, but her smile was one of those '_I'm proud of you'_ type of smiles.

Ford shuffled into the kitchen. from the living room, where I knew he'd spent the night on one of the couches. Since nearly all

the beds and bedrooms were taken over, that was where he had decided to sleep.

Adam, standing to go and refill his coffee cup, gave Ford an affectionate head rub.

"We didn't even try to be quiet," Brian told Ford. "How do you sleep thru all the noise? You never used to be like that."

"No, you were always a real light sleeper," Crane offered.

"Living in a dorm cures that malady," Ford said, sitting down at the table in his usual spot. "Some of those guys never shut

up. You have to just learn to zone out if you wanna get any sleep."

That brought Crane around to the conversation of asking Ford about his classes, and his grades. I'd finished, mostly, and got up,

going to the living room to search thru my backpack, and take out the B- test paper from the day before.

I went back to the kitchen, and laid the paper in front of Crane, as he was pushing back his plate, and taking a drink of

his juice.

I went back to my own seat again, and Crane picked it up to look it over.

His smile at me from across the table was warm. Even his eyes were smiling at me.

"Good job working hard, kiddo," Crane said.

"Let's see that," Brian said, and Crane passed the paper to Ford, who handed it across to Brian.

"I knew you had a brain underneath all that hair," Brian said, and handed it off to Adam.

Adam looked down the table at me. "That's the way to do it," he told me.

I smiled, happy that they were happy with me.

"See, Har," Ford told me, pouring syrup over his waffles. "You thought Trig was gonna kick your butt, but you

were wrong."

"It's just one test grade," I felt bound to point out. "It's still really hard for me."

"Yeah, but you've got the basics down now," Ford said.

Daniel came down the back stairs. "Morning, everybody," he said.

Again, the round of 'good mornings' went around.

After that, work for the day was discussed, and talk of the evening meal, which Hannah said Marie was coming over to join.

"And Kristin?" she asked, looking at Guthrie and I.

Guthrie nodded. "Yep."

"And Kenny?" Hannah asked me.

"He said later," I told her. "But in time to eat, yeah."

Hannah looked to Crane, who was standing, and beginning to stack plates. "Tell Ivy, alright?"

Crane had the hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth. "I did."

7

The bull was, according to Evan, seemingly holding his own. Showing some interest in eating, and drinking alright.

"We'll have Ivy take another look at him this evening," Adam was saying.

Everybody separated, to do their respective chores.

Later in the morning, I went to hunt Evan up.

He was with Daniel, his head stuck in the motor of the old ranch truck.

"Can you help me with D.C.?" I reminded him.

"Yeah, okay," Evan said. "Get him up in the corral and I'll be over there."

I went to fetch a halter and then walked out in the pasture, my pockets armed with horse treat goodies.

Old Charlie came right up, and I rewarded him. Petra also came forward, bumping me with her head.

"You're a brat," I told her. "You only love me for the treats you get."

I tried to entice D.C. to come up for a treat, but he resolutely ignored me, standing a good ways away.

I walked over towards him, and everytime I got nearby, he would pointedly just turn his butt to me, and walk away.

After twenty minutes of that, I was fed up and frustrated, and muttering under my breath.

I stood there, giving him a glare, with Charlie and Petra still on my heels. When I looked towards the

corral, I saw that Evan was sitting there, on the top rail, Daniel beside him, watching.

I walked back over to the corral. "He won't come," I said, irritated.

Daniel laughed, but Evan said, "What do you think you're gonna accomplish with him, if you can't even get

him to come to you?"

"Well, _what_ do you suggest?" I said, even more irritated.

"I suggest you don't give up, just because it's not easy," Evan said.

"I'm not giving up," I protested. "He just prefers males over females, that's all. I guarantee that if you walked

over there, he'd come to you, even without a goodie."

"I know he would," Evan said, simply.

"Well, then?" I said.

"He's not my horse, though," Evan said. "He's yours."

"I just want you to help me with him," I said. "I didn't ask for the lecture that goes along with it,"

Daniel looked amused again, but was quiet.

Evan hopped to the ground from the corral railing. "Don't get yourself all worked up," he said, in that maddening way

that older brothers have. "Just open the corral gate." He began walking out into the pasture, as Daniel jumped down and he

and I swung the gate open wide.

Evan walked a short ways out, and then stopped. Just stood there. He didn't try to entice D.C. to come to him. He just

stood there. And, sure as the sun rises every morning, D.C. ambled his way over to Evan, muzzling against his chest.

Even though I'd known it would go somewhat that way, it still caught me by surprise. How horses respond to Evan.

"Good gravy Gertie," I muttered.

"It's somethin' to see alright," Daniel said, in apparent agreement of Evan's powers.

And, then, without a halter or rope, or anything else, Evan turned to walk towards the corral, with D.C. plodding along

behind him.

"He's like the damn Pied Piper," Daniel said, sounding in awe.

Once Evan was inside the corral, with D.C., we closed the gate.

"Get a bridle," Evan told me.

I ran to the tack shed, and brought back a bridle, handing it off to him, as I scrambled up to sit on the top of the corral fence

alongside of Daniel.

Evan talked to D.C., though it was so soft we couldn't hear the words, and slipped the bit between D.C.'s teeth, and

the rest up over his ears.

Then, without much preamble, besides some more soft talking, and a couple of head rubs to D.C., Evan swung up

easily onto the horse's bare back.

Daniel and I watched as Evan rode, walking, and then cantering, around the corral. D.C. suddenly became a youngster. Tossing

his head, and seeming delighted to have a rider on his back again.

When Evan pulled D.C. to a halt after a bit, I called out, "Do you want me to get a saddle?"

"No. Not yet," Evan said. "Come over here."

"Me?" I asked.

"Yeah, you," Evan said. "Who do you think I'm talkin' to? Daniel, is this _your_ horse?"

"Nope. Not mine," Daniel returned, going along with the joking sarcasm.

"Then I must be talkin' to _you,_ huh?" Evan said to me.

"No need for smartassedness," I muttered.

I hopped to the ground, and approached D.C. and his sarcastic rider.

Standing at the horse's side, Evan held out a hand, and I looked at him, perplexed.

"What?"

"Give me your hand, and get up behind me," he ordered.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yeah. I'm sure. _Come_ on."

I took his hand and he pulled me up behind him, which wasn't all that easy, and I'm sure not very graceful to

the one watching. Daniel.

"Comfy?" Evan asked me, and Daniel laughed.

"Evan Robert-" I began.

Evan put D.C. into motion and began to canter around the corral ring again. This time with me on behind me. After a couple of

minutes, I relaxed a little. D.C. seemed fine. Oblivious to the fact that he was carrying two riders bareback. With one of them being

a detested female.

"This is okay," I said, feeling relief, and just beginning to enjoy myself a bit.

"Yep," Evan said, and then, he pulled D.C. up.

"Scoot back," he ordered, and I moved my hips back out further over D.C.'s hindquarters.

Evan swung one leg over and hopped easily to the ground.

I made to get off, as well, but he said, "Stay up there. Scoot back up where you're supposed to be."

I scooted up, but all my apprehension was back again. "What?" I asked.

Without saying anything, Evan took the bridle reins and began leading D.C. around in wide circles.

"I feel like a kid at a pony show at the circus," I said. "Being led around by the circus master. Right, Daniel?" I called out,

proud of my dig at Evan. "Or maybe led by one of the clowns?"

D.C. didn't seem to notice that I was still on his back. He just ambled after Evan placidly. After a few minutes, Evan stopped, and

handed the reins up to me.

"Already?" Just me?" I asked. "I don't know, Ev-"

"I'm not goin' anywhere yet," Evan told me. He began to walk again, and D.C. simply followed him. I wasn't even really

controlling the horse at all, even though I had the reins in my hand. They were slack.

"Pick those reins up, and handle him," Evan ordered. "Don't just sit there like you really are a kid on a pony at the circus."

I took the reins and tried to do what he was telling me. D.C. tossed his head, but still followed after Evan as he walked.

After a few minutes of that, Evan walked over to stand near to where Daniel was sitting. D.C. paused.

"Now, go," Evan said. "Ride him around the corral."

I don't know why, but I felt nervous somehow. I knew that D.C. preferred males.

"What if he balks?" I asked.

"Then you'll get tossed off. And land on your butt," Evan said, without apparent sympathy. "It won't be the first time, will it?"

"No," I admitted.

"Go."

So, I urged D.C. into a walk, round and round we went.

"Now put him in a canter," Evan called out. "Stay aware."

I did that, and not even a full minute later, just as I was relaxing a bit, and thinking that D.C. would accept me, he came to an

abrupt halt, and so abrupt it was, that I was caught off-guard and he pitched me off. Nearly right over his head.

I hadn't been riding very fast at all, and I've taken harder falls before, but when I sat up in the dirt, both Daniel and Evan

were beside me.

"Okay?" Evan was asking.

"You bounced, squirt," Daniel said.

I guess they could tell that I wasn't hurt, because they both looked faintly amused.

They helped pull me to my feet, one on each side of me.

"What _was_ that?" I asked, still not believing it. D.C. stood, looking at our trio calmly, reins dragging the ground.

"Were you even usin' your thighs at all?" Evan demanded. "Or were you just bein' a piece of limp spaghetti up there?"

"I wasn't expecting that," I protested.

"Well, expect the unexpected with this one," Evan said. "Now come on. I'll give you a leg up."

I followed Evan, a bit reluctantly. "Maybe he's had enough for today," I said.

"Not until he knows you're the boss," Evan said.

So Evan gave me a boost, and I got back on, and I rode that horse around that corral for at least the next hour. Stopping. Starting. Walking.

Cantering. Backing him.

When Evan finally called it good for the day, the insides of my thighs were aching, and D.C. was lathered up.

Daniel had to help me down, and we three stood there, as I rubbed my butt.

"My butt is numb," I complained.

"Now he knows who's boss," Evan told me.

7


	18. Snippets of wisdom

While we were closing up the corral, after turning D.C. back out with the other horses, Jill wandered out. She was wearing some

jeans that sat really low on her hips, and a plain white t-shirt.

Daniel set a hand on her waist and gave her a smile in greeting.

I had the bridle slung over my shoulder, and I was still rubbing at my backside, though not, I didn't think, blatantly.

"I was watching you, Harlie," she said. "That was really amazing."

"Don't tell her that," Evan said. "Her head will get fatter than it already is."

For a moment, Jill looked startled, as if she didn't know how to take that, and I said, "Evan's only joking," to her.

"Who says I'm just jokin'?" Evan countered, and went off to greet Nancy, who could be seen driving down from the

cabin.

Left there with Jill and Daniel, I said, "Evan's got a warped sense of humor," to Jill.

"Oh," she said. "Well, it really was something, watching you ride that way. I would have been scared to death."

"You should have come on over," I said, and she shook her head.

"No. I was fine watching from the porch."

I flicked a glance at Daniel. It seemed to me that Jill had some sort of fear or_ phobia_ about riding horses. Or about even really being

around them at all.

"Your hair still looks good," she told me, and I reached up to touch the back of my head.

"Yeah."

By now Nancy and Evan were walking over to us.

"Morning, everybody," Nancy said, in a group greeting.

We all said hello, and I saw Nancy was carrying a big canvas bag with lots of colored pieces of paper sticking out of

the top.

"What do you got?" I asked, peering into the bag.

"The place my sister works was doing inventory, and they were going to just throw all this stuff away, so she

brought it home." Nancy held up the bag as I put my hand in, moving stuff around. There were all sorts of colored paper,

stamps with words and things on them, like flowers, and sticky letters and numbers. "I thought we could work on some

of those photos that are still in boxes, from when you all were little. Make some scrapbooks."

"That's great," I said, instantly liking the idea. "Course you're not gonna find many of Guthrie or me. Only masses of

these two-" I said, and jabbed a finger into Evan's ribs and then Daniel's. "And Ford."

"Mom was always takin' pictures of you," Evan corrected me. "She even bought a new camera-remember, Daniel?"

Daniel nodded, looking pensive for a moment. "Yeah. I remember."

"She was always makin' me or Daniel make faces or do tricks to try to get you to laugh while she took the picture,"

Evan went on.

I hadn't known all that, and for a moment I felt a pang of emotion. _My mother had bought a new camera to take pictures _

_of me as a newborn? _

"See?" Nancy told me. "There may be more of you stored around here than you think there is."

"Even if there's just these guys, it'll still be fun," I said. I hadn't meant to sound spoiled, or that I didn't want to

help just because there weren't many pictures of me.

"Sure, it will," Nancy said.

"We better get to work," Evan told Daniel. "_Actual _work." He tugged on my braid. "Not standin' around watchin' a kid

ride a pony at the circus-"

His jab at me about what I'd said about feeling like a kid at the circus-ah, Evan was on point today with his

sarcasm. I enjoyed it now, mostly, though.

"Uh huh," I said. "Like I said, that guy that was leading me around was a real _clown!" _

"Keep it up," Evan told me. "I'll remember that insult the next time you need my help with somethin-"

"Yeah, yeah," I said, waving a hand at him.

"See ya later," Evan told Nancy, squeezing her hand.

Daniel, more comfortable with public displays of affection, gave Jill a quick kiss. "It sounds like there's gonna

be lots going on around the house to do." When he said that, he said it to Jill, but he looked at Nancy and at me.

Mostly at me. I got it.

"Yeah," I said, cheerfully. "We'll stay busy."

That was my way of telling him I understood his unspoken look. Sort of seeming to ask me, and Nancy, too, to

look after Jill. Well, maybe not look after her, exactly. But, I was thinking it was more like include her.

When I said that about staying busy, Daniel smiled at me, and his eyes were all warm. He didn't say anything, but I could tell he was

glad about it.

So, over the course of the rest of the morning, I began by showing Jill my goats.

She stood outside of the pen, as I went in with them. "This is Elwood P. Dowd," I told her. "And this is his first wife,

Harriett, and this is his second wife, Mabel. And Mabel's two children," I said, with a gesture. "I haven't thought of good

names for them, yet."

"They're cute," she said, but I thought she didn't sound too sure of it.

"Want to come in and pet them?" I offered.

"Uh, no," she said, and even took a couple of steps back, as if I was going to forcibly pull her into the pen.

"They won't hurt you," I told her. "Honest."

"I'm a city girl," she said. "I've never really been around animals much."

"Oh," I said. I couldn't imagine such a life. I picked one of the baby goats up, and came over closer to the side of the pen.

"Here," I said, in encouragement, and Jill reached out to pet the baby goat.

"He's softer than he looks," she said.

"She," I corrected, and grinned at her.

"Oh."

As I was closing up the pen, I rubbed my hands on my jeans. "I need to get my skunk out for a while," I told her.

I figured that would be enough to send her heading to the house in revulsion, but she looked curious.

"Daniel said you have a skunk," she said. "At first I thought he was teasing-"

"Nope. I really do," I said. "Do you want to come with?" I asked her.

"Sure. Seeing a skunk, it's not something that happens every day," she said, and I actually laughed a little at her

humor. It was unexpected.

"No, that's for sure," I said.

When we got into the barn, I went to open Pepe's stall, and pulled on the gloves I kept in there. I picked him up

and held him. "This is Pepe," I said.

"Awe," she said, and came over closer. "Is it okay if I pet him?" she asked.

"Yeah. Sure. He likes attention," I said, shocked that she would ask.

Jill began petting Pepe on the top of his head.

"How come you wear the gloves?" she asked.

"In case he bites," I said, and she stepped back, her eyes wide.

"No, it's okay," I told her. "He doesn't bite. He only did once to this kid who was teasing him. I found out later she

was poking him with a stick."

"Oh, that's awful," Jill said and began petting Pepe again. "If he won't bite, then why the gloves?"

"It's a long story," I told her.

When she looked at me expectantly, I said, "Adam sort of insists. I tried not doing it, but he said if I didn't, he'd make me

get rid of Pepe-"

"Oh."

"I'm supposed to be finding him a real home, but he's been here for two months, and I haven't had any luck," I said.

"Could I hold him, do you think?" she asked. Now, I really was shocked. Afraid to come near a horse like D.C., wary of Elwood P. Dowd,

not really seeming to be a dog lover, even when Fat Clarence begged for a belly rub...but she wanted to hold Pepe? Wow.

"Um, sure," I said. "Here, I'll give you the gloves," I said.

"Do I have to wear them?" she asked. "You said he won't bite."

"Well-" I hesitated. "Yeah, but-" I wasn't sure what to say to her. I thought then I sort of understood where Adam

was coming from, in his unyielding enforcement of the glove wearing. If Jill did happen to get bitten, I would feel responsible

for it happening. Even though she would be making the decision herself-I would still feel bad. Especially when it could

be prevented, by the wearing of gloves. It was one of those 'a-ha' moments for me. That's how Adam felt-and he loved me.

I didn't love Jill, I wasn't even sure I actually liked her a whole lot, but I still didn't want to see her get bitten.

"Well," I said again, "Maybe you should."

I would have said something halfway jokingly about doing it so as to not make Adam mad, but I didn't think Jill had been around long

enough for that. So, when she looked as though she might protest the glove wearing, I said, "Since Pepe doesn't know you

very well, it might be better if you do."

Jill said okay, and so I handed her the gloves and then passed Pepe off to her.

She asked a couple things, like the best way to hold him, and all of that. And then, she did hold him. For a long time. All while I

cleaned out his stall, and put fresh hay in, filled his water and food bowls, and still, she was sitting on a hay bale, holding

Pepe close to her chest, and talking to him.

Adam came in, and he did a double-take, seeing Jill sitting there holding Pepe. That was the first shock, I was sure, and

the fact that she looked so comfortable doing it, well, that was the second shock.

"Hey," I greeted him.

"Hey," he said. He walked on past Jill to go to one of the shelves, where he picked up a hammer and a tool belt with

nails. He gave me a look from over the top of Jill's head, so she couldn't see. He raised his eyebrows, in a clear sign of

question, and surprise.

I gave a slight shrug meant to convey that I was just as surprised as he was at what Jill was doing.

"What are you getting ready to do?" I asked Adam.

"Put of couple of new shingles on the tack shed roof," he said.

"Can I help you?" I asked him.

"If you want to," Adam said, and walked on out of the barn.

"We can put him away if you want," I said to Jill.

"I can put him away in a little bit, if that's okay," Jill said. "You can go on with Adam if you want to."

"Well, okay," I said. "That stall door is a little tricky. You have to double check and make sure it latches. Pepe's been known

to get out of there and wander around."

"Okay. I'll make sure it's closed."

I said okay, and went on over to the tack shed, where Adam was placing the ladder against the front of the tack shed. He strapped

on the tool belt, and slid the hammer into a hoop. Then he picked up a group of shingles laying to the side, and slung them over

his shoulder. He began to climb, while I instinctively reached out and held the ladder steady.

Once he was on the roof the small shed, I followed him up, a lot more cautiously than he had gone. Adam was already on his knees,

setting down shingles, by the time I got up there, and inched over to where he was.

"Put your skunk up?" he asked me.

"No. Jill wanted to keep holding him."

"Hmm," he said.

"I told her about wearing the gloves and all that," I said.

"That's good."

I thought about telling Adam how I'd realized where he was coming from in his insistence about the glove-wearing, but he spoke

up first.

"That was a surprise," he said, and I knew he meant seeing Jill hold Pepe that way.

"I know, for me too," I said. "She didn't really wanna pet the goats, and she told me she's not really a 'dog person', but she

actually _asked_ if she could hold Pepe."

"It takes all kinds," Adam said.

We were quiet for a few minutes, as I watched him work.

"I'm trying," I said, after that silence. He flicked a glance up at me.

"With Jill, I mean," I added.

Adam nodded, and took out another nail. "That's good," he said.

"She's different," I said.

"You're gonna meet all sorts of people in your lifetime. A lot of them aren't gonna be what you're used to," he said.

"I know. This is different than that, though. I mean, those others, you can decide whether you want to get to know them or _not._ With

Jill, there isn't really that choice," I said, trying to explain.

"True," he said. "But, you can be kind and get along with someone, even if you don't feel particularly close or as if you

have much in common."

He'd nailed it with that statement, so to speak.

I nodded. "Yeah." I paused, and then asked, "Do you think Daniel loves her?"

Again, Adam's eyes landed on me. He sort of sat back a bit. "I think that he might," he said, sounding as if he

was being careful with his choice of words.

That had me wondering. Did Adam know more than what was evident? More than what he was letting on?

I wanted to ask, but I knew better. He would get stern, and tell me that I was sticking my nose where it did not belong, and

that I didn't have the right to, nor was it necessary, for me to know _everything about everybody._

"Can I tell you something?" I asked him.

"What?"

"Like the second night after they got here, Jill was talking to me, and she told me that Daniel is meant for better things

than working here on the ranch."

Adam looked serious, but not upset or anything like that. "Hmm," he said.

Over the years, I've learned that Adam uses that as a response when he's thinking, considering, and doesn't want to

speak too quickly.

"It bothered me," I admitted.

"Daniel will make up his own mind about what he wants his life to be," Adam said.

"Maybe not," I said.

"Meaning what?" Adam asked, reaching for another shingle.

"She might influence him."

"Anytime two people are in a relationship, they are bound to influence each other, in one way or another," Adam said.

I looked at him, feeling disturbed at the thought of Daniel forsaking his interest in our family ranch.

Adam studied me, again seriously, and said, "I have no concerns about Daniel not bein' involved here, sugar. If that's what's

been bothering you about Jill, then I would chalk it up to 'just talk' and try not worry about it."

I met his eyes, and nodded, feeling better. If Adam believed that, then it was likely so.

"Okay," I said, and he smiled at me.

After a few more minutes, he asked me if I would go down, and back into the barn, and look for another handful of nails.

Glad to be able to do something to help, I went down the ladder, and ran back over to the barn. I was expecting to see Jill still

sitting there at the front, on the hay bale, but saw instead that she had walked towards the back of the barn. I went to the shelves,

gathering nails.

I saw that she was still carrying Pepe, and was holding him up close. And then, in the silence of the barn, I heard

the sound of weeping. I paused, my hand full of the sent-for nails. Jill's back was turned to me, and I knew she was unaware that I

stood there. She was crying.

Unsure, I stood, debating. Should I go over and see what was wrong? Call out to her so she would know I was there? Maybe it

would be embarrassing to her to know that I'd heard her crying that way. I took the easy way out of it, and high-tailed it out of the barn and back to the

ladder, climbing up.

When I got to the top of the ladder, Adam took my handful of nails and put them in his nail belt, and I stood there, leaning

against the shed, not going on up. "Thanks," he said.

"Adam," I said, as he kept on working. Intent on what he was doing.

"What?" he asked, without looking up.

"Jill's still in the barn. She's crying."

7


	19. Sister in laws talk

Adam looked up at me for a brief moment.

"She is?" he asked.

I nodded. "Uh huh. I left really quick so she didn't see me."

"Hmmm," Adam said, and went on nailing the shingle he was working on.

After a couple of moments, I said, "What do you think we should do?"

Adam finished the last bit of nailing and looked up at me. "I don't think we should _do_ anything."

I was looking at him quizzically, and he finished, putting the hammer in the loop on his tool belt. '

"Go on down," he told me, and I went down the ladder, and he came after me. At the bottom of the ladder,

he stood there for a long moment, and then said, "A person's entitled to their privacy. Let's just leave her be."

"She doesn't seem the type to cry," I said.

"Is there a type?" he asked me, his eyebrows raised a fraction.

"I didn't mean that, really," I said, trying to explain. "It's just-she seems more in control than that."

"Everybody has their moments, sugar," he said. "Jill's human, just like everybody else."

I nodded. "Yeah."

7

In the afternoon, Kristin came. Buddy was the one who brought her, which surprised me. He never does anything nice

for Kristin. He stopped just long enough for Kristin to get out of his car, and sling her bag over her shoulder, and then

he was gone, peeling out in a cloud of dust. I'd walked over to greet her, and we stood there, watching as Buddy

fish-tailed down our driveway.

"He agreed to bring you, huh?" I asked.

"I had to pay him," Kristin said, and I looked at her, wide-eyed.

"You're kidding," I said.

"No. He told me I had to give him five dollars for his time and his gas."

Unbelievable. On the other hand, we _were_ talking about Buddy here.

"You should have called," I told her. "Guthrie could have come."

I didn't say that I could have picked her up, since I wasn't allowed to go to Kristin's at all. Not even to pick her up, since Adam

and Brian didn't want me going there, because of Frank and because of Buddy.

"I knew Guthrie would be busy-" Kristin said. "It's alright. I gave Buddy his five dollars, and now I'm here."

"Yeah, you're here," I said, and squeezed her arm.

As we went into the house, Crane and Brian were just pulling up in the Jeep, near the barn. Brian sounded the horn, which was

sort of sick-sounding, old as it is. More like a goat bleeting than a horn on a car.

"Hey, girls," Brian hollered out to us, with a wave.

We both waved back, and Crane called out, calling Kristin by the nickname that he'd given her. "Hey there, Kris-10!"

"Hi, Crane!" Kristin called back, her face lighting up. I knew for a certain fact how Kristin felt about Crane. He's always been

a real source of support to her, and she's wanted him around a couple of times when things were bad for her at home. She thinks

he hung the moon.

We went into the house, and up to my bedroom, where we left Kristin's bag of extra clothes and stuff. We sat and talked for

a few minutes. I told her about how we were going to do some scrapbooking with Nancy later on. She asked about Jill, and

I told her about the strangeness of the morning, and about Jill holding Pepe and then hearing her crying in the barn.

Kristin agreed that Jill was mysterious, and we went downstairs, where we found Hannah, Clare and Jill, sitting in the living room.

Hannah and Clare told Kristin hello and I introduced her to Jill.

I observed Jill as closely as I could without notice, to see if she had the look of someone who's been crying. She didn't, though. She

looked just as good as always. Perky. Her makeup redone. Her eyes weren't red, and her nose wasn't pink. I get crazy ugly when I cry.

Ford always tells me that I look like a rabbit, with my nose all pinkish.

"We're taking a break," Hannah said, patting the spot beside her on the couch. "Sit down here and talk to me for a few minutes,

Kristin. Tell me what you've been doing."

"Okay," Kristin said, and took the seat beside Hannah.

There was the sound of things being moved around in the little room under the stairs.

"Nancy's looking for boxes of pictures," Hannah said.

Clare took a look up at the big wooden clock. "I'll get the lunch stuff out," she said.

"We're just having sandwiches," Hannah said, mostly to Kristin. "Then tonight, Crane's going to BBQ some hamburgers,

and we're going to make some potato salad and things to go with them."

I went with Clare to the kitchen, and we began pulling things out of the refrigerator for lunch. Cutting up some tomatoes, while

Clare began making grilled cheese sandwiches.

Jill came wandering into the kitchen. She sat down at one of the chairs at the table, watching Clare and I.

"Does Daniel like grilled cheese?" Jill asked us.

"He loves them," I said.

As Clare turned the sandwiches on the griddle, Jill said, "I'm still learning what foods Daniel likes and doesn't like."

"Well, he likes his steak medium rare, isn't that right, Harlie?" Clare said.

"Yeah. Medium rare," I agreed. "And he likes baked potatoes with lots of cheese on the top."

"What's some things he doesn't like?" Jill asked.

"Um," I thought for a moment. "He doesn't really like broccoli-"

Nancy came into the kitchen in time to hear the last statement of mine.

"Neither does Evan. _Does he, Harlie?"_ she said, coming up behind me and lifting me off my feet from behind.

"Um, no," I said, and giggled. Clare laughed, too, and Jill looked puzzled.

At that puzzled look, Nancy said, "Before I knew that Evan hated broccoli, Harlie thought it would be real funny

to tell me to cook a bunch of it for him. She said how nice a surprise it would be for him. Didn't you, wild child?" She

gave me a final shake and set me on my feet again.

I was still laughing, remembering Evan's face when he'd seen, and smelled all that broccoli.

"Yeah. That was funny," I said.

"No, it was not," Nancy denied.

"Daniel likes meatloaf," Clare offered, returning to the original topic.

"Yeah, he does," I agreed.

"I don't know how to make that," Jill said. "I'm not really a very good cook."

"You can learn," Clare said, kindly. "I didn't know how to cook a lick when I met Brian. I'm not the best cook now, but

I can make most things."

"You're a good cook now," I said, loyally, and Clare smiled at me.

"Thanks, toots," she said.

I began to set the table, and Nancy started counting out silverware, and then, with typical Nancy-like directness, she

handed some of them off to Jill.

"Here you go," she said.

Jill took the silverware that Nancy thrust at her and stood up, beginning to place the silverware around the table.

I was impressed, let me tell you. That was one way to get Jill to help do something.

7

Lunch was a quick thing, and all the guys headed back outside to work. Evan had gone up to the cabin for something,

and came back to report that the bull didn't appear to be much better, and in fact, had seemed to have taken a turn

for the worse. So, that was the major topic.

"We'll go back up after lunch," Adam said.

Crane mentioned that someone should call the Peterson's and let them know, since it was their bull.

"Man, I sure hate to make that call," Adam said.

"I'll do it," Crane said, and Adam nodded, looking grateful.

"Ivy was going to be here about four," Crane said. "I'll see if she can come a little sooner than that."

I could tell they were all worried about the bull. When Evan said that he would go and make the weekly feed

trip to town, Daniel said he would go along.

When he said that, I saw Jill lean closer to Daniel and say some stuff to him, really quietly. Daniel listened, looking intent,

and then he put his arm around her shoulders and gave her a light squeeze, as if reassuring her.

As we were doing up the dishes, Hannah went to lay Isaac down for a nap, and Kristin went along upstairs with her.

Again, it was Jill, Nancy, Clare and I in the kitchen.

Nancy told Clare she looked peaked and to sit down and start looking thru one of the boxes of photos. She brought the box in,

and set it on the table. Clare didn't argue overmuch about taking a sit-down.

"Do you want to wash, or dry, Jill?" Nancy asked, again with her direct way.

"I'll dry, I guess," Jill said. She sounded less than thrilled, although not ugly about it. And, again, I was secretly

admiring of Nancy's approach.

As she dried the plates and glasses, Jill asked Clare, "How far along are you?"

"Almost three months," Clare said.

"So, you're due-in about April, then?" Jill asked.

"Yes, April."

"It'll be spring all over by then," Nancy said.

I was busy wiping off the table, and I said, happily, "I hope it's a girl."

Clare smiled at me, and Jill asked, "Is that what you want, Clare? A girl?"

"I don't think we really care whether it's a girl, or a boy," Clare said. "We're just so happy about it."

"I'll bet," Jill said. "Have you had any morning sickness?"

"Oh, yeah," Clare said, and I spoke up, too.

"She's had awful morning sickness."

"My sisters both had terrible morning sickness," Jill was saying, as she picked up another plate and began drying it. "They had

to take something for it."

"I did, too," Clare said.

"It didn't help them," Jill said, and I felt like telling her she was being a Debbie Downer in the conversation.

"Well, the medicine helped me," Clare said, seemingly unperturbed. "Thank goodness."

Hannah came back downstairs, followed by Kristin.

"Anything else that needs done around here?" Nancy asked Hannah. "Before we start on the scrapbooking?"

"You can go on and start on that," Hannah told her. "I'm going to mix up a couple of cakes, and get them frosted. Jill,

would you like to help?"

"Yes, I will. Were you going to make chocolate cake?" she asked Hannah.

"We can. Why? Is that your favorite?" Hannah asked, smiling at her.

"Daniel likes chocolate the best, doesn't he?" she asked, and I thought she almost sounded shy.

"Yes, he does," Hannah said. "Chocolate it is, then. And maybe a spice cake, too? How does that sound?"

"It all sounds good to me," Clare said. "_Everything_ sounds good to me."

We all laughed. Clare's appetite had definitely picked up since she was over her morning sickness.

7

Kristin stayed inside to help Hannah with the baking, and I went outside, going to find Ford, who was in the

barn, up in the loft with Evan, tossing down hay bales to Daniel, who was then stacking them, neatly, against the

wall.

"How are things in the house?" Daniel asked me.

"Jill's helping Hannah bake," I said. "And Nancy's starting to go thru the boxes of pictures."

"That's good," Daniel said, and I thought he looked relieved.

I picked up a hay hook, and began helping. I can't toss the bales like the boys can, obviously, but I do alright. When the row got

higher against the wall, Daniel had to do the stacking, but I dragged bales over, so he could save some steps.

"Kenny comin' over tonight?" Ford called down to me.

"Yep. After he gets done helping his dad," I said.

"Okay. Good," Ford said.

I went to stand under the opening and look up. "Why?" I asked.

"Don't ya want him to come over?" Evan asked me, tossing down another bale.

"Hey," I protested, moving out of the way. "You just about got me!"

"Move, then," Evan said.

"Why is it good, Ford?" I persisted.

"I just thought we might get up a game of Horse," Ford said. "If we had enough people."

"Oh," I said. I drug another bale over to where Daniel was stacking. Once back near the opening again, I called up, "He may not get here

until almost time to eat, though."

"That's okay," Ford said.

I stood where I was, looking upwards. "Well, yeah, but then-"

Ford's face appeared at the opening. "Then, what?"

"Well, we thought we might go-for a walk or something," I said.

Now, Evan's face appeared above me, too.

"So?" Ford said. "He can still play a game of b-ball, can't he?"

"Well, yeah," I said.

"You don't sound too sure of it," Ford said.

"I'm just saying-" I said, and then dragged another bale over to Daniel.

Back again, I looked up and they were both still standing there, staring down at me.

"I thought Kenny liked hangin' around with all of us," Ford said.

"He does."

"Yeah, Har, you're gonna have us thinkin' he doesn't like our company," Evan tossed in. Aw, now I knew. They

were both having some fun with me.

"Ha ha," I said.

"No time for us, Ford," Evan said, looking at Ford, and pretending great sadness.

"I know, right?" Ford said, also looking deeply hurt.

"He can play a game of basketball-" I began.

"Oh? He _can?"_ Evan mocked. "Did you hear that, Ford? Har says it's okay for Ken to play a game of basketball with

us-"

They were both grinning like idiots, and I said, "Ford, you're letting him corrupt you," and dragged another bale to

Daniel.

"I wonder-" Evan said, "Does Kenny know about this? We should maybe let him know when he gets here that he

has permission to play a game of Horse with us-huh, Ford?"

I glared up at them, as Ford laughed.

"Maybe," Ford said.

"Come on, guys," I said. "I just meant that Kenny and I wanna spend some alone time together."

"Yeah?" Evan asked. "Spend some time together, huh? Just what sort of alone time did you have in mind?"

Daniel finished with the last bale, and came to stand beside me, pulling off his leather gloves.

Evan was scowling now, and Ford was frowning.

"You guys are so dumb," I said, irritated with both of them.

"They're just teasin' you," Daniel said, stuffing his gloves into his back pocket.

"Don't have to be jerks about it," I muttered.

"Did you just call us jerks?" Evan called down to me.

"What, you have supersonic hearing or something?" I asked. "How about this. then?" I mouthed up the word, 'asshat'

towards the loft opening.

I knew as soon as I did it that I'd probably gone a bit too far.

"Hey," Daniel said, in a quiet reproval to me.

"You better not have just called us what that looked like," Evan threatened.

"What did it look like?" I asked, pretending nonchalance.

"It looks like you've said enough," Daniel said to me, low.

"Maybe I'll come down there so you can say it to me again," Evan said.

"Maybe you'd better skedaddle," Daniel said, looking faintly amused.

"Maybe so," I said, and handed him the hay hook in my hand, before I did skedaddle, out of the barn, and back to

the relative safety of the house.

7


	20. Words

Back in the house, I washed up at the sink in the kitchen, and had a quick snack of grapes and crackers. Kristin was sitting at the

table, frosting one of the two cakes. Hannah was showing Jill how to stir up homemade chocolate frosting.

"I never knew a person could make their own frosting," Jill was saying.

"It helps to know how, in case you ever don't have pre-made and don't want to drive to get any," Hannah said.

"It saves money, too," Clare spoke up. She was sitting at the table, with her feet propped into a second chair, and

holding Isaac on her lap, while he knawed on a teething ring.

"I know all about that," Jill said, as she stirred the melting butter in the saucepan. "There was never enough money when

I was growing up."

"Not having much money isn't such a bad thing, as long as you're not going hungry," Hannah said. "And as long as

you're with the ones you love."

It sounded sort of trite, or whatever, but I knew that Hannah really meant it. And believed it. It was common enough around

our house.

"You would think that at least _one_ of my homes would have had enough money-" Jill said. "The butter's nearly melted."

"Alright, you can add the cocoa," Hannah told her.

As Jill began to do that, I exchanged a look with Hannah, and Clare, and Nancy, too. Maybe Jill hadn't realized what

she'd let slip. What did she mean, _at least one of her homes?_

Nancy gave a light lift of her shoulders, and Clare sort of shook her head in puzzlement.

"Was your dad in the army or something?" I asked, from my spot where I was sitting, next to Kristin, eating my grapes.

Jill blinked at me as though I was crazy. "My dad? No. Why?"

"I just thought you meant you'd moved around a lot, when you said that about all your homes," I tried to explain,

wishing that I'd kept quiet.

"Oh," Jill said, and looked away, stirring at the chocolate mixture. "No. I'm not sure what my dad did, really. I didn't

see him much after I was six or so. I guess he could have been in the army."

"Oh," I echoed. Again, we all exchanged looks without Jill noticing.

"How is that?" Jill asked Hannah, and Hannah went to inspect what Jill had gotten stirred.

"That's good," Hannah said. "Now we can mix the powdered sugar with the milk." She set Jill up doing that, and told her

to alternate adding milk and vanilla to the powdered sugar.

I was curious, but I figured I'd better leave it to someone else to ask any further questions, or wait for Jill to offer information.

Once the cakes were both frosted, with Jill having done the second one, the chocolate one, I thought she again seemed

almost shy.

"I hope Daniel likes the cake," she said.

"He'll inhale it," Nancy said.

"Well, I know you told me what to do and everything," Jill said, looking at Hannah, "But, I've never really made a whole cake

before like that."

Hannah smiled and put her arm around Jill's shoulders, giving her a squeeze. "I just gave directions-you did all the work yourself. Daniel

will love it."

For a moment Jill looked startled, and I wasn't sure whether it was because of Hannah's spontaneous hug, or her kind words.

She ducked her head, and smiled, though.

I left shortly after that, and went upstairs to change my clothes, and wash up. Kenny's seen me in my worn and dirty chore

clothes plenty of times, but it was different now. I wanted to look nice when he came over. I put on one of my better pairs of

jeans, and a lacy, yellow, long-sleeved shirt. I pulled on my second best boots and looked at myself in my mirror. Surprisingly, the

braid that Jill had done the day before was still holding up well. She hadn't been kidding when she'd said it would stay a while.

I put on a bit of mascara, and headed back downstairs.

It was getting on by then, later in the afternoon, and everybody was starting to gather closer to the house. Marie showed up,

parked her old Pontiac, and went to the kitchen, preparing, she said, to make her own special potato salad.

Ivy came, and she and Crane went up to the cabin, along with Brian and Evan, to take another look at the Peterson's bull. It was

a nice afternoon, not too hot, and so Ford and Guthrie and Kristin and I began setting up tables outside. The boys toted

the two picnic tables closer together, and then we set up some of the white folding tables that we keep stored in the basement.

"Tablecloths, or no?" I asked, in general, standing with my hands on my hips and surveying our 'picnic' area.

"Don't need tablecloths," Guthrie said.

"We kind of do," I argued. "The tables have been out in the weather. They look pretty rough, Guth."

"Why ask me, then?" Guthrie complained.

"Hey, I made a rhyme," I said, ignoring Guthrie's complaint. "Rough-Guth, rough-Guth, get it?"

"Hilarious," Guthrie said, rolling his eyes heavenward.

"Want me to go ask Hannah for tablecloths?" Kristin offered.

"Yeah, sure," I told her.

Kenny was just coming up the driveway, in his father's truck, and I went over to greet him. He got out and I walked

up to him.

"Hey, there," he said, grinning at me.

"Hey."

"You look terrific," he said.

"Thanks," I said.

We just stood there, looking at each other.

"How are things 'round here?" he asked.

"Good. I rode D.C. this morning."

"How'd that go?"

"It went pretty well, for the first time," I said.

"Hey, Kenny!" Guthrie shouted out.

Kenny waved to Guthrie.

"What else?" Kenny asked. "How's things with Jill?"

I shrugged. "I guess it's getting a little better. She's trying to get along, I think."

"That's good. Hey," he said, snapping his fingers. "I just remembered-I brought somethin' for Warrior." I followed him as he

went to the bed of the pickup, and he pulled out a fair-sized package wrapped in white butcher paper.

"A bone?" I asked, smiling at him.

"Yep. It's got plenty of meat left on it, too."

"Let's give it to him now," I said.

"Where?"

"Behind the barn," I said. "That way, Clarence won't see and get jealous. And, I'll tell Guthrie to keep Jethro and Gus

out front."

"Great, let's go," he said.

Kenny took the bone and went to wait behind the barn for me and Warrior. I had no problem getting Warrior to tag along

with me, but when we rounded the back of the barn, and Warrior saw Kenny, he came to a halt, and simply sat down.

"Come on, boy," I told him, coaxingly.

I sat down with Kenny on the hay bale back there, and continued to try to convince Warrior to come closer.

"Man, he really hates me," Kenny said.

"He'll change his tune, once you give him that bone," I said.

Finally, we resorted to taking the bone _to_ Warrior. I went to kneel beside him, holding him around his neck, while

Kenny approached, with the unwrapped bone.

"Hold it in one hand, and then let him sniff your other hand," I said.

So, Kenny did that, and after a couple of minutes, I told him to give Warrior the bone. We sat on the ground for a few

minutes, real close to Warrior while he cleaned the meat off the bone and then began to knaw on it.

"Guess we'd better get back to seeing what needs done," I said. We stood up, and I dusted off my backside.

"Shouldn't have made you sit in the grass, when you're all dressed up," Kenny said.

"Aw, it's alright," I said, with a wave of my hand.

"That's what's so great about you," Kenny said.

Sensing compliments, I smiled at him. "What's so great about me?" I asked.

Kenny wiped his hands on his jeans, and stepped closer to me, until we were practically nose to nose.

He wrapped his arms around my waist. "Want me to start listin' every single thing?" he asked me.

"Sure," I said.

"We don't have that much time," Kenny said. "That would take hours."

"You're the sweetest guy," I said.

"That's a secret," Kenny said, and grinned at me, right before he kissed me.

7

When Kenny and I reappeared in the yard, now followed by Warrior, happily carrying the bone in his mouth,

we found that the table-crew had been joined by Evan and Nancy.

"Where did you two disappear to?" Ford asked, with a smile.

"Yeah," Evan chimed in. "Some of that 'alone-time' stuff, huh, Har?"

"Shush it," I said, giving him a narrowed eye look.

"We're goin' to play a game of Horse later," Ford told Kenny. "You up for it?"

"Sure," Kenny said, agreeably. "I'll be glad to play a game of b-ball."

"That okay with you, Har?" Evan asked, in a loud staged whisper, as we all began to head into the house.

"Quiet, or I'll rub broccoli all over your hamburger before you eat it," I hissed back at him.

7

Crane had begun the set up the barbequing, with Ivy as his 'assistant'. I had to smile as I walked out carrying a

platter of cheese for the hamburgers. I caught them exchanging a quick kiss as I was walking up.

"Here's the cheese for the burgers," I said. I couldn't help smiling.

Supper was a spread-out happy time, with everybody calling across to each other from the different tables. Jill got up

mid-way thru the meal, and went inside quickly. Daniel followed her, and I watched, exchanging a look with Kenny. It wasn't

as though it was real noticeable, though. And, they were back before too long. When it was time for dessert, and Hannah made

sure that Daniel knew Jill had made the chocolate cake and frosting. Daniel leaned over and kissed Jill on her ear, and Jill

looked so happy in that moment. Happier than I'd seen her look since she'd first arrived.

7

There was another late-night trip up to see the bull at the cabin, with Adam and Brian and Ivy. When they came back, they

said that the bull had again, seemed to take a turn for the better.

"Back and forth," Adam said, tossing his ball cap onto the coffee table in the living room.

He sounded encouraged, and as we all sat around the living room in a large group, Jill made the statement that it must be horrible to be so dependent

on good weather or bad, or on the illness of an animal.

"That's part of ranching," Brian said.

"I know, but-" Jill waved a hand. "It's just-something like this cow being sick-that's enough to cause panic. It can affect you

financially, right?"

I wondered if anyone was going to correct Jill's mistake of the bull being a 'cow'.

"Bull," Daniel said, and squeezed her hand.

"It can definitely affect us financially," Brian said.

"I guess I just don't understand why-" Jill said. "I mean, it really is beautiful here, and I can see why you all love it

so much. But, to choose a life where there's no real security-it just doesn't seem like the best thing-" She let her comment trail off,

and managed to look truly perplexed and cute as she said it.

Which was, I figured, the only reason that Brian didn't blast his temper across the room at her. I was actually amazed at his

restraint. Adam's, too.

"The life here can be like that," Adam said, quietly. "Nothing for certain. But, when you wake up in the morning, and the fields

look as though there's been a green dusty bed sheet spread over 'em, and as far as you see, you know it belongs to your family-that

helps a lot."

Hannah's face as she looked at Adam was so full of love, and respect at that moment, I felt a warmth spread thru me. I reached

out and took Kenny's hand.

"We always pull out of situations," Brian said, sounding confident. "We've never let anything get the best of us."

"The bull will likely be just fine," Crane added.

"That's right," Ivy said.

As everybody was beginning to stand, preparing to leave, or to head to bed, Adam paused beside Jill and Daniel.

When Adam spoke quietly, he was speaking to Jill. "Sometimes-" he said, slowly, "There's not much security, like you said. Sometimes,

all there is-is belief that you're doin' the right thing, and the faith to do it."

He smiled at Jill, and to my surprise, she smiled back, and nodded.

7


	21. Unrest

The next morning most of the guys were staying home from church services, to tend to the bull, and to catch up

on chores. So, Hannah decided she would stay home, too, and breakfast lasted a little longer, and was more relaxed

than usual.

Guthrie and Kristin and I were talking about going on a picnic to the creek, and suggesting that I call and tell Kenny.

After breakfast Kristin and I were talking to Hannah about what food we could pack to take along, and the whole morning

had sort of a relaxed glow about it.

Kristin had gone upstairs to look for something, and I was refilling my coffee, when I looked out the back door and

saw that Adam and Brian, Crane and Daniel were all standing together, in a sort of a circle, out by the picnic tables.

Daniel was standing, his hands in his jeans pockets, and looking real serious. At least to me it seemed so. He was shaking his

head now and then, and then Crane would talk. Adam stood, seemingly quiet, but Brian-well, he was upset, too. He

waved his hands around and shook his head.

I couldn't hear what they were saying, at that distance, but I could hear that Brian's voice was raised, and then Daniel,

when he spoke, was talking way louder than usual, too.

"What's happening?" Kristin asked, coming up beside me to look over my shoulder.

"I'm not sure," I said, watching the foursome worriedly.

After a couple of moments of watching, and trying to listen, Kristin said, "They're arguing, though."

"Yeah," I agreed.

"They hardly ever argue," Kristin said.

"Yeah," I said, again.

"I hope everything's okay," Kristin said, and I heard the worry in her tone. I knew that Kristin liked being at our house, with

the family, for lots of reasons. Guthrie was a primary reason, for sure, but it was also because she was made to feel as though

she was welcome, and belonged. And, also because mostly everybody got along, and there was no drunken rages, or cursing at

one another, like at her house.

"Maybe they're talking about the bull," I said, in suggestion. Though I didn't really think that was it.

Hannah appeared beside us, from where she'd come down the back steps from upstairs. She was carrying Isaac,

and she said, "What are you two doing?" to Kristin and I.

"Watching the guys," I said, and Hannah stopped to give a quick glance outside.

"Oh," she said, then, and went about the business of making Isaac a bottle.

I thought that 'oh' sounded sort of strange-as if she had a fairly certain idea what was being talked about outside.

I exchanged a look with Kristin, and then said, "Brian seems mad."

When she didn't respond, I said, "Is it the bull? Did he die?"

"I think the bull's still improving, from what Adam said earlier," Hannah said. "Do you two think you could watch Isaac for me

for a bit? Clare and I are going into Stockton to do a grocery stock-up."

"Sure," Kristin said, immediately.

I said okay, and after that, Hannah and Clare got around, and left to go shopping. Kristin and I took Isaac outside, to let him

pet the goats, and then pulled him down the driveway in the wagon.

"I want lots of babies," Kristin said, as we walked along. She sounded wistful.

"You do?" I asked, sort of surprised.

"Yeah. Don't you?" she asked.

"I want kids," I said. "But, I guess I haven't really thought much about it. Like how many or any of that. It would be a lot harder

to finish vet school if I had kids."

"Yeah. I'm thinking that I might go to cosmetology school," Kristin said. "I mean, I'd like to. That's something that I could do while

I was raising kids, too."

"That's a good idea," I agreed.

"There's no money for me to go, though," Kristin said, sounding discouraged. "My dad left a little insurance money when he

died, but Mom has gone thru that a long time ago."

"She didn't save any of it back?" I asked.

"No. What she didn't spend, Buddy did. And Frank has had his hand out for years, too."

"Oh," I said, feeling really bad for her. Even if Doc G hadn't left me the money meant for my education, I knew that the

family would have made sacrifices and moved mountains to make sure that I got to go to the college of my choice. Kristin's mother,

well-not so much. She never put Kristin first.

"I'll tell you something-if you promise not to tell anyone else," Kristin said.

"Okay. What?" I asked.

"I'm thinking that this summer I'll get my GED, and then I can start working full-time, so that I can save up the money

for cosmetology school," she revealed.

I stopped walking, bringing Isaac's wagon to a halt.

"You mean quit school?" I asked, shocked.

"Well, yeah."

"But, next year is your senior year of high school," I reminded her. "The year that you get to have all the fun stuff

happening-"

Kristin shrugged. "I just think I should get a jump start on things."

"What did your mom say?" I asked, as we began walking again.

"Not so much, really. She told me I shouldn't rush into a decision about it."

"But, she didn't say that you couldn't?" I asked, even more shocked.

"No." Kristin shrugged. "You know my mom." She sighed. "She doesn't think about the future much. Hers or mine."

I was so astounded that I took a few moments to say anything more. It was so out of the realm of my realism that

a mom, a _parent,_ would allow such plans-that of a sixteen year old contemplating quitting high school. I could only imagine,

in my darkest thoughts, what would happen if I were to approach any of my trio of Like-Dads with such a plan.

"You don't think I should, do you?" Kristin said, into the silence.

"It's not for me to say," I said. "I just hate to see you give up your senior year-"

"I know," she sighed. "But, I don't see any other way."

"Have you told Guthrie?" I asked.

"Yeah. I told him."

I looked to my right at her, and she met my eyes. "He wasn't thrilled with the idea, either," she said. "But, he says he'll support

me, if that's what I decide."

"Maybe you could talk to somebody," I said, in slow suggestion.

"Like who?"

"Well-like Crane?" I said.

"No!" Kristin said, coming to an immediate halt. "I don't want Crane to know! You promised you wouldn't say anything, Harlie!"

"Okay," I said, as I once again, pulled Isaac's wagon to a stop. We stood there in the driveway, listening to Isaac babble

happily in his baby talk.

"I couldn't stand it if Crane found out," Kristin went on, looking as if she was going to start crying. "He'd think I was a real

loser, or something."

"No, he wouldn't," I denied. "He'd never think that!"

"Well-" Kristin said, starting to walk again. "I don't want him to know. If I do it, I'll have my GED before I tell him about it-"

I didn't say anything to that, and she said, sounding worried, "Do you think he might be angry at me about it?"

"I don't know if he'll be _angry,_ exactly," I said. "But, he wouldn't think it's the best thing."

We walked along in quiet for a few moments, and she said, "Well, I'll think about talking to him. But, don't say anything, okay?"

"I won't," I promised.

We had reached the end of the driveway, and Kristin took Isaac out of the wagon, and was carrying him. I was pulling the empty

wagon, when we heard a motor roaring up the road. We stepped over to the side as Daniel pulled into the driveway. He came up to where

we stood, and braked to a stop. Jill was with him, sitting smack-dab next to him.

Everybody said their hellos, and I tried to study Daniel, to see if he still looked down, like he had earlier when he'd been talking in

the yard with Crane, Brian and Adam.

He did seem to be less happier-appearing than was usual. Jill was silent, and she looked totally unhappy. She kept her head

down, almost, not really even looking towards Kristin and I.

"Well, I better get to hittin' the work around here," Daniel said, and I thought he was forcing it to sound as though he was

light-hearted. "I don't wanna get fired or anything like that."

Kristin and I both smiled at his attempt at humor, but Jill didn't show any response.

After that, Kristin and I went back up to the house, where I changed Isaac's diaper, and then Kristin put a clean onesie on him.

We sat around in the living room, letting Isaac play with his toys. At one point, we could hear loud voices coming from the

front of the house. We got up and went to stand at the front door, with Kristin holding Isaac.

Daniel and Brian were in the front yard, and they were at the point of being real close to yelling at one another.

I stepped outside onto the porch, in time to hear Brian holler something about Daniel needing to use his brain.

Daniel shook his head, and walked away, a few feet, and stopped, turning back to Brian, and said something I couldn't

quite hear.

"How do you think you're gonna do that?" Brian yelled. "Got no job-"

I could see Daniel look up and see me standing there at the door, and immediately his whole demeanor changed. He tightened his

mouth, and I could tell he wasn't going to say another word where I could hear. Brian had been standing, with his back towards me, so

he hadn't seen me. He had to have noticed Daniel's change of stance and facial expression, though, because he whirled

around then to see me there.

"Get in the house," Brian ordered. He wasn't yelling at me, but he wasn't talking pleasant, either.

I hesitated, feeling my stomach churning at witnessing their fighting.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Did you hear me, young lady?" Brian said, and now he was hollering at _me,_ too.

"Hard _not to_ hear you," I said. Not loudly, but my voice was clear enough to reach Brian, because his forehead wrinkled in

disbelief, and he took a step or two closer to the porch.

"What?" Brian demanded of me. One of those questions where he didn't expect, nor _even want,_ an answer from me.

I turned on my heel, and beat a hasty retreat into the house, letting the screen door flap shut behind me.

I went to look out again at them, but from the relative safety of the window, pushing the curtains aside.

Kristin came to stand beside me. "Wow," she said.

"Yeah."

We two stood there, watching, but it was only a couple of minutes longer, and then Brian waved his hand and

stalked off towards the barn. Daniel went the opposite way, off towards the corral, until he was out of my sight.

"Bat shit," I said. I dropped the edge of the curtain that I held.

"Something big is going on," Kristin said.

"Yeah." I had the sudden longing for Guthrie or Ford to appear, so I could tell them, and see what they thought was

happening. Ford, for one, would be calming, I knew, and make me feel better.

Isaac had his head resting on Kristin's chest, his eyes closing.

"Isaac's ready for his nap," I said.

I nibbled at my bottom lip, thinking. "Will you stay with him?" I asked. "I'm gonna go find Ford."

"Sure," Kristin said.

I went to pull on my boots, and to saddle Charlie. I went to the tack shed, making certain that I avoided the barn. I didn't

know if Brian was still in there, or not, but I for sure did not want to run into him.

I rode off into the fields, not even sure just where I was going. I thought maybe if I didn't see Ford, or anybody else,

in the pastures, they might be up at the cabin. At the cabin, though, I found nobody. The bull was standing in the small

corral there, and to me he seemed to be acting normally.

I rode a bit further, and then took a ride down the other side of the fences. I saw in the distance, and came upon Adam and

Ford, working on rolling up wire, and reloading it into the back of the Jeep.

I left Charlie ground-tied and walked over to them.

Ford grinned at me in greeting, and Adam said, "Hey. What are you doin' up here?"

"Just out on a ride," I said, in answer.

"Hannah and Clare home yet?" he asked.

"No, not yet."

"Where's Scooter?" he asked.

"Takin' his nap. Kristin's at the house."

He nodded, and went back to what he was doing. When they were finished, I began helping to pick up the tools

that were scattered about.

I had originally planned to talk to just Ford, but somehow seeing Adam, handling the ranch chore with such practiced

ease and efficiency, well, his actions made me feel safe and less frightened.

"Brian and Daniel had a fight," I said.

Adam pulled off his fencing gloves, and shoved them into his back pocket. He looked at me steadily, but said nothing. Ford, I saw,

was looking concerned, his forehead wrinkled.

"They did?" Ford asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. A bad one."

"What's goin' on?" Ford asked.

I shrugged, and we both looked to Adam for an answer.

"They have a way of workin' things out," Adam said. Which was, I thought, not really an answer at all.

"Brian was yelling, though," I said. "He was really mad. And, Daniel was upset. I could tell."

Adam gave me a long, lingering look. "Daniel'll be alright," he said.

Again, not an answer.

He said to Ford, "Ready?" as he went around to the driver's side of the Jeep.

I looked at Ford, and he got my unspoken request, because he said, "I'll ride back down with Har."

"Okay," Adam said, climbed into the Jeep, starting it up. "See you at the house," he said, and off he roared.

Wordlessly, Ford and I went to Charlie, and I got on first, and then Ford put a hand on the saddle horn, and pulled

himself up to sit behind me.

We began walking Charlie back towards the house, slowly.

"It was real bad, Ford," I said.

"It sounds bad," he said. "What were they sayin'?"

"Brian yelling something about how did Daniel think he was going to do a certain thing, when he doesn't have a job-that's about

all I could hear before Brian ordered me back into the house-"

"Damn," Ford said, and sighed.

"What do you think it's about?" I asked, turning in the saddle to see him a little better.

"I don't know." He sighed again. "Somethin' is goin' on, though. Daniel seems like he's not really all here. Like his mind

is somewhere else half the time."

"Yeah," I said in agreement. "When he first got home last week, he was more like himself, but now-not so much."

"Could be that Brian's just thinkin' that Daniel shouldn't have quit his job at the club," Ford suggested.

"Maybe if he was a _little_ aggravated about it," I said. "But, not as mad as I saw him being. And, besides, Daniel's good with

money. He saves it like crazy. It's not as though he's broke or anything. So, why would Brian be so mad at him about it? It's

Daniel's decision. Right?"

"Yeah," Ford said. "There might be more to it than that, though."

"Like what?" I asked.

"Like I said, I don't know," Ford said.

We finished our ride home in silence, and at the corral, Ford helped to unsaddle Charlie, and then toted my saddle

to the tack shed for me.

"I have to be gettin' around to head back to school," Ford said, as we walked towards the house.

"Not yet," I said. "Stay a while longer. Please?"

"I for sure have to leave by four," Ford said, relenting a bit.

"Okay. By four," I echoed.

We were crossing the yard when Brian came out of the house, and down the front steps, going to Clare's small car, and reaching

in to pull out two sacks of groceries.

"Just in time to help," he said, and both Ford and I went over to where he was. Looking in, I saw that the entire back seat was

filled with bags of groceries, and there were at least four gallons of milk sitting on the floor board.

Ford lifted out another two bags, and headed towards the house, while Brian stood still, holding a bag in each arm. I picked

up a bag for one arm, and hooked my fingers around the handle of one of the jugs of milk with the other hand.

I looked up to see Brian regarding me with a look that seemed to be speaking without words.

I returned his look, trying not to be cowed.

"What's with givin' me sass earlier?" he asked me.

"I just wanted to know what was wrong, Bri," I defended myself.

"What does one thing have to do with the other?"

"I was worried," I said.

"Alright. You were worried. But when I tell you somethin', you do it, regardless of whether you're worried, or not. Got it?"

Well, I might be impetuous, and stubborn, but I'm not stupid. I wasn't going to take Brian on.

"Got it," I said.

"And that smart mouth stuff better stop, too. Those remarks you think are so cute are gonna get you in a world of

trouble. Understood?"

I suddenly felt really bad. Like wanting to cry a bunch type of bad. It had been awful enough to hear him and Daniel

fighting, and Daniel seeming so darn down, but now Brian was raking me over the coals. I didn't think he was exactly being

fair.

So, I didn't answer him immediately. A fact which he took notice of.

"Harlie?" he prompted me, sounding gruff.

"Yes. Understood," I said, and then I didn't care. I went ahead of him to the house, and inside, where I took my bag and milk to

the kitchen. Brian was behind me, and the kitchen was filling up with McFaddens. I set my stuff on the table and turned to go

right past Brian again. I went thru the living room, and up to my room. I closed my bedroom door, and, well, basically I threw a

fit. I tossed some stuff around, though nothing breakable, you know. I took off my boots, and threw them against the dresser. And then,

I laid on my back, staring up at the ceiling.

7


	22. Exchange of respect

I stayed up there in my bedroom for awhile, until there was a rapping on my door and somebody called out, "Kenny's here!"

I pulled my boots back on, and went downstairs, to find Kenny on the front porch, standing with Kristin and Guthrie.

His smile made me feel better.

"Hey," he said, quietly.

"Hi."

Guthrie was asking whether we should ride four-wheelers to the creek for the picnic, or horseback. We decided on four-wheelers.

In the side yard, as we walked, we could see Clare and Brian, sitting with Adam.

Clare called out to us to have fun, and Adam gave a wave. I found it hard to look towards Brian, so I don't know if he

waved or not.

I let Kenny drive and I rode behind him, and with the wind blowing thru my hair, I began to feel better. Emotionally, I mean.

I had a slight headache, which I hoped would go away once I'd eaten.

We spread out the blanket that we'd brought, and began to unpack the basket of food. The boys tore into the

cold fried chicken, which had been left over from last weekend and taken from the freezer. There were cherry tomatoes and

pickles, and potato chips in there, too.

I made sure that I ate chicken and tomatoes, and finished off with an apple. The four of us talked about stuff as we sat there.

About Kenny's problems with the two guys at school, about Kristin's plans for her GED, about all of that. It was good, all of us

sharing that stuff. I realized then just how fortunate that I was. To have a brother like Guthrie, who always had my back, and

a true friend like Kristin, and now Kenny, who was comfortable and yet caused my heart to flutter.

We talked, too, about the argument between Brian and Daniel, and what all the private conversations meant that

were happening around the house. I could tell Guthrie was worried, too, and he said he would find out what

was going on. He had the determined look of a McFadden focused on a goal.

We tossed rocks into the creek, and hung around, splashing each other with creek water. The water was too chilly to

actually get in and wade.

I went to sit down on the blanket again, and Kenny followed me.

"Somethin' wrong?" he asked me.

"Headache," I said, with a sigh.

"Bad?" he asked, with a frown.

"No. Not too bad. I probably should go back to the house, though, and check my level and all that."

"Yeah. Okay," Kenny said, and immediately he stood up, going to tell Guthrie and Kristin, who were just a bit down

the creek bank, that we were leaving.

Guthrie came walking over, with a frown that matched Kenny's.

"You okay?" he asked me.

"I'm okay, Guth," I said. "I'm just gonna get a jump on it before it gets worse."

"We'll come, too," he said, turning to pick up the picnic basket.

"No. You and Kristin stay," I said.

"Well," Guthrie hesitated.

"Come on," I said. "I don't want to ruin everybody's afternoon."

"You're not," Kristin said.

"Guthrie-" I said, looking at him. My one word to him, but Guthrie got my meaning. He knew that I didn't like all

the fuss that accompanies my diabetes.

"Yeah. Okay," Guthrie said.

"Guthrie's going to take me home after awhile," Kristin said. "So, I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Okay," I said.

Kenny and I rode back to the house, and he parked the four-wheeler. He walked me up to the porch, and paused

at the bottom of the steps.

"Take care, and do what you need to do," Kenny told me.

"I will. I'm sorry about cutting the afternoon short," I said.

"It's alright. I just want you to feel better," he said.

I reached up and kissed him quickly. We said our goodbyes, and I went inside the house. The living room was full.

Nancy and Evan were on one couch. They were looking thru the boxes of photographs. Adam was reading the Sunday newspaper, and

Hannah was leaning against him, with her legs stretched out on the other couch. Brian and Clare were ensconced in the oversized

chair, also reading parts of the newspaper.

They all looked up as I came in.

"You all back already?" Hannah asked me.

"No. Just me," I said. "Guthrie and Kristin are gonna stay at the creek awhile."

"Where's Kenny?" Hannah asked now.

"He's heading home," I said.

"Everything alright?" Adam asked, laying the newspaper down in his lap.

"Yeah." I was remembering my recent "talk" with Adam, where he'd impressed upon me the importance of taking my diabetes

seriously, and not trying to hide things from the family.

"I'm going to check my level," I admitted. "I've got a small headache."

"Did you eat?" Clare asked.

"Yeah. I did."

Adam nodded at me, and I headed off to the kitchen. I did my finger prick, checking my blood sugar level. It was slightly high, but

nothing too bad. I poured a small bowlful of nuts and headed back to the living room to report. I knew they'd be waiting

to hear.

"What is it?" Adam asked me, without hesitation, as I walked into the living room.

I told him, and Hannah said, "That's not too bad."

"When did you eat?" Clare asked.

"It's been about two hours," I said.

"No, that's not bad, then," Clare echoed Hannah's statement.

I held up the small bowl of nuts. "And, I've got nuts to eat," I said.

"Good girl," Adam said, smiling at me.

"I'm going upstairs," I said. "I've got a little bit of homework to finish up."

"You should rest a bit, until your headache goes away," Hannah said.

I said okay, and went upstairs to my bedroom.

I did rest for a few minutes, and then I began on my Anatomy homework. I was struggling with a couple of the questions

on the worksheet when there was a quick rap on my door.

"Come in," I called out.

When the door opened, and Brian stood there, I was mostly surprised. And, not all that pleased. I didn't feel like having another

go-round with him just then. I'd been sitting, cross-legged on my bed, with my books in my lap, and I looked up at him.

"Hey," he said, quietly.

"Hey."

"Your headache any better?" he asked.

"Yeah. It's gone," I said.

"Good." He stood a moment or so longer there in the doorway. "Alright if I come in and talk to you for a minute?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, though I wasn't too keen on it. I was still smarting from that hard scolding he'd given me earlier.

Brian came in, and closed the door behind him. He came and took the desk chair, moving closer to my bed, and turning

the chair. He straddled it, and rested his arms on the back.

"Anatomy, huh?" he asked, nodding towards the book on my lap.

"Yeah."

"Hard class, isn't it?" he asked.

I nodded. "Like some of the questions-does heart failure mean that the heart has stopped working completely? And we have to

explain why we believe it's yes, or no."

"It's no," Brian said, and I looked at him in surprise.

"If a person has heart failure, it doesn't mean the heart has failed. It just means the heart isn't workin' as well as it should be. It's

weakened, so it can't pump enough blood. So there's medication to help," Brian said.

I was surprised into silence for a moment.

"How do you know all that?" I asked.

"I guess I've listened to Clare talk about her nursin' classes enough," he said.

"Wow," I said. "Can I write that down? What you said?"

Brian waved his hand. "Be my guest," he said.

We sat there for another moment or so in quiet. It seemed awkward. I knew he'd come up here because he had

something he wanted to say to me.

"Daniel and I-well, we weren't bein' quiet earlier. Things got out of hand. That was my fault," he said.

I was so surprised that I could only look at him.

"And, I know it caused you to worry, us arguing like we were. We shouldn't have done it that way. And, I'm sorry

for snarlin' at you the way I did."

I felt a lump in my throat at that. It's not that Brian is above apologizing-it's just that it's not that common of a thing, either. And, I

could tell he was feeling badly. I figured it was because partly that he'd hollered at me, but also I knew it had to be working on him

that he and Daniel were at odds that way.

I didn't like being at odds with him, either.

"It's okay," I said. "I'm sorry, too. For sassing you."

Brian nodded, and I could tell that my apology reached him, just as his had to me.

A good long moment of silence, and I said, really quietly, "What's going on, Bri?"

I figured this was my best and likely only opportunity to ask.

Brian met my eyes, steadily. He was silent, and I could tell that he was turning over words in his mind. So, I waited.

"It's somethin' that I can't share with you right now," Brian said, sounding regretful.

"Why?" I asked, feeling my worry increase.

"There's things that need to be decided first-and then you'll be able to know."

"Are we going broke?" I asked. I didn't think it was _that._ I was fairly certain that it had more to do with Daniel specifically, rather

than the whole family. But, still, it was a possibility, I thought.

Brian looked surprised at that. "What? No, Harlie, we're not goin' broke."

"Okay," I said.

"I understand that you're upset, and worried about what it is-" Brian went on. "And, we're not, none of us, tryin' to

make it worse by not tellin' you. Like I said, some decisions need to be made, and then, you and everybody else that needs

to know, can be brought into it."

"Okay," I said. What else could I say? He'd explained it the best that he could, apparently. I could tell he sincerely wasn't wanting to

keep things private just to treat me and Guthrie like little kids.

"So," Brian said. "Alright?"

"Yes. Alright," I agreed.

He nodded, and moved to stand up, moving the chair back to its place by the desk.

"Thanks for talking to me about it," I said.

"It's okay. I know it sounds easy for me to say, but-try not worry too much, alright?"

I nodded. "Okay."

He headed towards the door, and I said, "Bri?"

He paused to look back over at me, in question.

"Thanks for the apology," I said. I felt sort of emotional as I said it. I knew there were lots of parents, (which Brian sort of _was)_ that would

never apologize for anything to their kids. Or their teenagers. They would think it would show weakness, or that the kid would then

think they could run rampant over the parent. Or guardian, or whatever. I, however, knew that Brian was far from weak. And, I also

knew, full well, that I would never be successful in running Brian over. I wouldn't even attempt it.

When I said that, thanking him for the apology, he half-smiled, and his eyes softened.

"Thanks right back at you for yours," Brian said.

We exchanged another long look between us. A look that spoke more than words. And, then, he smiled at me. A real full smile this time.

7


	23. Stop sign

The next morning, at breakfast, I thought there was still major tension between various McFaddens. I might have been

imagining part of it, but not all.

Hannah was asking Guthrie and I if we wanted to take our lunch or eat school lunch that day, and Crane was asking

about progress reports from school. So, typical things.

Daniel was quieter than was usual. He didn't seem angry or anything. Just subdued. Jill was, as was also common,

still upstairs in bed, asleep. She very rarely made it downstairs for breakfast with everyone else.

I ate my eggs, watching Daniel, and also Crane, and Adam, studying them, and trying to figure things out. Brian, it was harder to

see him, since he was on the same side of the table as me. I would have had to lean over Guthrie and Clare to get a good look at

him.

And then, Adam started talking to Evan, (who had showed up early) about what needed to be done that day, and Hannah said she'd packed up a good

deal of supplies and food. And it came out in the conversation that Adam, Daniel, Crane and Brian were leaving sometime after lunch

that day, to ride up to the high country, and be gone overnight. Camping.

Since we don't have any cattle up there right now, I knew it couldn't be for that reason. Guthrie, bless him, asked

the question that I wanted to ask.

"How come ya'all are goin' up there?" Guthrie asked.

"Just taking some time," Adam told him. Which wasn't really an answer.

"Can you make sure you're home right after school today?" Crane asked Guthrie. "Evan'll likely need some help with

chores."

"Yeah. I will be," Guthrie said.

We finished eating and began getting around to leave for school. Adam walked Guthrie and I out, just as he always did.

Crane and Daniel were already on the front porch, talking together.

"Both of you, have a good day," Adam said, making his customary morning statement.

Guthrie paused, looking at Adam. "Everything okay, Adam?" he asked.

I'd managed to have a private moment with Guthrie early that morning in the hallway, and tell him what Brian had said

to me the afternoon before, about how we would be told after decisions were made. We both knew that the reason the four of

them were 'going camping' on a weekday was because they wanted privacy to 'make those decisions'.

Adam regarded Guthrie and I, standing there next to each other, and he reached out and cupped a hand around the

back of both of our necks.

"It's not anything that won't come out in the wash," Adam said, and the old country saying felt reassuring to me as he said it.

He released us both, and said, "Now go on. Get out of here, and get to school."

Guthrie headed off to his truck, and I followed, pausing at the bottom of the steps. Crane walked off to the barn, and

I stood, looking at Daniel.

"See ya, squirt," he said.

"See you," I echoed.

7

I tried to concentrate at school, but my thoughts kept returning to the 'camping' trip. I hoped that they would talk

everything thru and come home not being angry with each other longer. It struck me suddenly, during third hour, that

Jill would be at the house this afternoon and evening. Without Daniel there. It would be awkward.

Oh, well. She would probably just stay upstairs in the bedroom she'd been using, and not even come downstairs.

When I got to work at the vet office, I found Ivy out back, talking to a couple of men that I didn't recognize. They were

apparently, negotiating with her, about Ivy boarding their horses for them.

She nodded a 'hello' at me, and went on talking to them. I went back in, and changed to my work clothes, and

began tidying up the office, and sweeping out the building.

When I heard the truck out back leaving, I went out, as Ivy was preparing to take the two horses into the

small barn.

"New boarders, huh?" I asked.

"Yes. It's going to help out, that's for sure," Ivy said.

I was admiring one of the horses. He was an unusual mixture of colors.

"He's a beauty," I said.

"Isn't he?" Ivy said, in agreement.

We settled the horses into their new digs, and got them set up with food and water for the evening. Ivy was

scrutinizing the old round pen that was off to the side of the barn.

"Did Doc G ever use this?" she asked me.

"Not while I was around, he didn't," I said. "Why?"

"I was thinking of fixing it up. With four horses boarding here now, I need a better outside exercise option for them."

"That's a good idea," I said.

We walked around the pen, taking in all the damage. "It's in pretty rough shape." Ivy said, eying it critically.

"Maybe the guys can help fix it up," I suggested.

"They've done so much already," Ivy said. "And, it really is pretty bad."

"Maybe they could at least look at it, and tell you what they think," I said.

"A good idea," she agreed.

The rest of the afternoon consisted of us grooming the new horses, and giving two dogs their inoculations. I had to help hold

one of the dogs, so by the time the afternoon was over I was dirty and sweaty.

"How about I buy you a chocolate shake at the Dari Kurl?" Ivy asked me. "Or can you have one?"

"I can. I've been good lately," I told her, with a grin. "It sounds good."

We drove to the Dari Kurl in Ivy's truck, and sat, drinking our chocolate shakes, and talking. I found Ivy so easy to talk to. And,

she was interesting to me. Mostly I guess, because she is a veterinarian.

"Sometimes it feels daunting to me," I admitted. "Just thinking of all the years of school to accomplish getting thru to become

a vet."

"Totally understandable," Ivy said.

"I get scared sometimes," I said, and she looked at me. "I mean, scared of whether I can do it or not."

"I'll tell you this," she said. "I was scared before I started, during all the schooling, and sometimes, even now."

"Now? How come?" I asked, thinking she was finished with school and had her diploma.

"I worry a lot about money," she said, with a sigh. "I know I should have more faith, but sometimes it's hard. I owe

so much on college loans."

Again, I felt grateful for Doc G's bequeath to me of money for college.

"And, there's still some prejudice about female vets. You know that already, dealing with that man-what was his name?"

"Vernon," I said. "They call him Old Vernon."

"Vernon. Yeah. And even ranchers like Dale DeHoff aren't thrilled to have me here. They would much prefer a male in my place."

"It's so unfair," I said.

"It will probably be that way for a while longer. Maybe, by the time you're finished and ready to open your practice, it might

be better. Where do you think you'd like to be at? Here in Murphys?"

I smiled at her. "Yeah. Sort of. Maybe we could work together."

Ivy laughed. "If I'm still here, that's a great idea. What's a good name?"

"I and H Veterinary Services," I said.

"Or H and I," Ivy said. "We could call it 'Hi Veterinary Services'."

"Or High Flying Veterinary Services," I said, and we both burst into laughter.

"Good. Or, 'Veterinary Services for the Broadminded'," Ivy said.

"Yeah. Some of these old ranchers around here are real narrow-minded. That's a fact."

After a couple of moments she said, "I talked to Crane this morning. He said they were getting ready to head out for their

overnight trip."

I wondered if Crane had told Ivy what all the mystery was about. She answered that with her next remark, though.

"I'm sure whatever it is, they'll work it out," she said, sounding reassuring.

"I hope so," I said, fervently.

7

I was later leaving town since we'd gone to the Dari Kurl, and talked for awhile. I was parked at a stop sign at the edge of

town, when I saw a couple girls from my animal group at school. They were standing beside a truck, and both of them were holding

medium sized dogs.

They began waving at me to pull over and stop, and when I did, and got out, they came quickly up to me.

"Harlie," Beth Ann Hopkins said, speaking first. "Thank gosh somebody came by-we need to have these two dogs

somewhere tonight-they were dumped off at my great aunt's house, and we have to find them a place!"

Now that I was close up I saw that they weren't much more than pups. Large pups, though. Maybe a few months old. Some

mixture of a really large breed.

"I can't take them-" I said, right off.

"Just for tonight?" Beth Ann asked.

"Tomorrow, Donna Jo Smythe said she would take at least one of them-" Becky Anderson added.

"Why can't you take them, if it's just for tonight?" I asked.

"My mom's allergic," Becky said.

"There were three of them altogether that were dumped," Beth Ann said. "I've got the third one at home-he was the

smallest one. My mother said that was the limit. Please, Harlie? Can't you take them for tonight?"

I studied the two dogs, and couldn't resist reaching out to touch them.

"And Donna Jo is going to take at least one of them tomorrow?" I asked. "Like after school, or what?"

"I can give you her number, and you can set it up," Beth Ann said.

"I guess I can take them back to Ivy's office," I said, thinking aloud to myself. "She'd probably let me leave them there

for one night-"

"That's perfect," Beth Ann said, and promptly plopped the dog she was holding into my arms. "I'll get Donna Jo's number."

I went towards my truck, carrying the dog, and with Becky following me. I was in the cab, with both dogs jumping all around,

when Beth Ann came over and handed me a piece of paper.

"Here's the number," she said. "We don't have any dog food for them-"

"Ivy has some," I said.

"Thanks, Harlie, you're a lifesaver," Beth Ann said, and they waved and walked away, back towards the truck they'd been in.

I sat there for a moment, looking at the dogs. They were long-haired, and it was matted. And, they smelled. Bad.

I drove back to Ivy's office, but her truck was gone. I could have taken the spare key and gone in, and left the dogs.

Then, I thought, well, since it was only for one night, I would take them home. It would be easier to take care of them

there. Just for one night.

I had to open my windows as I drove towards home, because the smell seemed to get progressively worse. They needed baths.

Well, it was only for one night.

Once at home, I parked beside Guthrie's truck. I could see him and Evan, out in the pasture, feeding a bale of hay to the

cattle. Warrior smelled the two new dogs, and came over, sniffing my truck and growling, which promptly set the two pups to

yapping back. I took one dog out of the truck cab, so that Warrior could smell him, but the pup went wacko, acting as though he

was going to fight Warrior. This brought a curious Gus from wherever he'd been. He let me know without any growling that he was

displeased with the whole situation.

I put the pup back into the cab of my truck and shut the door, pondering what to do.

I'd have to put them in a stall in the barn with food and water.

I went to begin getting bowls of dog food and water ready. Pepe thought I was there to visit him, and began

making his anxious sound.

"In a minute," I told him.

Once I had the food and water ready, I went to my truck, and gathered up both dogs. Which was a total armful. I

went towards the barn, Warrior and Gus at my heels, and both pups barking their heads off.

I took them into the stall and closed the door against Gus and Warrior. I put them down and spent a couple minutes

petting them and acquainting them with the stall. They wouldn't stop barking, though. I leaned over to look into the neighboring

stall, and Pepe was scratching at the wood, seeming nervous.

I went out and closed the stall door, walking towards the house, wondering what I had gotten into. I had to call Warrior

a couple times before he left off sitting outside the dog's stall and followed me.

I went to do the rest of my outside chores, feeding the goats, and checking on the horses, noticing for the first time

that Clare's small car was missing from the yard. Guthrie and Evan came driving the Jeep up from the pastures.

Evan parked and they got out, and they were near enough to me that when the barking continued in the barn, and Warrior took

off to rejoin the visiting dogs, they both tilted their heads to listen.

"What's all that?" Guthrie asked, looking towards the barn, where all the noise was coming from.

"Yeah. All that barking," Evan said. Gus and Jethro were right there, and it was obvious to anyone with ears that it was

more than Warrior barking.

"There's a couple of dogs in one of the stalls," I said.

"Huh?" Guthrie asked.

"You're kidding," Evan said.

"No-" I began.

They both began to make a fast walk towards the barn, and I set down the bucket I was carrying, and hustled after

them. I began explaining to their backs as they walked, about Becky and Beth Ann-and once in the barn, both of them

peered into the stall at the yipping pups.

"What are you thinkin'?" Evan asked me.

"I told you-the girls were in a bind-it's just for one night-" I said.

Guthrie let out a guffaw. "You're livin' in a dream world, Har," he told me. "If you think it's only gonna be for _one night._ Beth Ann and

Becky took you for a sucker."

"No, they didn't," I denied. "They're both in the animal group at school-they love dogs as much as I do, it's just that

Becky's mother is allergic, and Beth Ann already took the third one. By tomorrow afternoon at least one of them will be

gone."

Evan shook his head, giving me a look that said, 'Sucker'.

"Even so, that leaves the other one," Guthrie said. "What are you gonna do with that one?"

"We can't have any more dogs around here, Har," Evan said, as if he was telling me something that I didn't _already know._

"I know. It's only for tonight," I insisted.

Evan shook his head again. "Like Guth said, 'livin' in a dream world'," he said.

I gave Evan a rueful look. "Thanks for your faith, both of you," I told them.

Guthrie laughed again. "It's got nothin' to do with _faith,_ Har. It's just the way it is. You can never unload dogs-there's too many

dogs, and not enough people willin' to take them."

I reached out and gave Guthrie's hair a tug from under his ball cap in frustration.

"Hey, ow," he said, gripping my hand to twist it loose.

"It's upsetting Pepe, being so close to them," I said, going to look down on the skunk.

"Well, you're runnin' out of animal storage around here," Evan said, without sympathy.

"You don't have to be like that about it, Ev," I told him.

"I'm not bein' like anything," Evan denied. "I'm just saying that when Adam and Brian get back in the morning, they're

gonna see your new additions here, and blow a fuse."

"I know," I said. "But, if they're not here by the time I leave for school, Hannah can explain to them about it. And, then, tomorrow afternoon,

Donna Jo Smythe will take at least one of them."

"Okay, Har," Evan said, sounding as though he was humoring him.

"Grrrr," I said, and turned on my heel to walk off.

I headed towards the house, and what greeted me at the back door, but the sight of Jill, standing and smoking a cigarette, and with

tears running down her cheeks.

7


	24. Questions and answers

Well, this was awkward. I came to a halt, since she was mostly blocking the door. She stepped aside when she saw me, though,

and rubbed her hand across her cheek.

"Hi," she said, in a low voice, turning away a little.

"Hi," I said. I put my hand on the door handle, preparing to pull it open. "Are you okay?" I asked. I mean, I couldn't just walk

past her without saying _something._

Jill wiped at her face again, and said, "I'm okay. Just feeling a little bit blue, I guess." She tossed the half-smoked cigarette to

the ground, and pressed it into the dirt with her shoe.

"Don't smoke, Harlie," Jill said then, in a overly-cheery voice. "It's hard to stop once you start."

I settled for saying, "Uh huh," and pulled the door open.

"Hannah and Clare left earlier," Jill said.

I paused to look at her. "Where did they go? Do you know?"

"Clare had a doctor's appointment, I think," Jill said.

"Oh," I said. "I remember now. She said something about that-"

I went on in, thru the back porch, and into the kitchen. I washed my hands at the sink, as Jill came in after me.

"Hannah said there would be sandwiches for supper tonight," Jill said.

I filled a glass with water, and took a long drink. "Okay."

As I stood there, leaning against the counter, holding my glass of water, Jill stood opposite of me, her hip

resting against the table. "When do you think Daniel and all the others will be back tomorrow?" she asked.

"I don't know. Most likely in the morning sometime," I said. "They'll have work to catch up on."

"Okay. Good," she said.

I studied her. She, no doubt, knew what it was that had Daniel so preoccupied, and possibly what had everybody in

such a tizzy around here. This was my chance to see what I could find out.

And, I was curious about all this crying she did.

"How come you're feeling blue, like you said?" I asked.

She was surprised by my directness. I could tell.

"I'm homesick, I guess," Jill said.

I hardly knew her at all. But, I was nearly certain that she was lying. Missing Tennessee or Georgia, or wherever, wasn't what

her crying was over.

But, I took it anyway. "Homesick for Georgia?" I asked.

"Georgia?" Jill repeated, in an tone that suggested that Georgia was in the pits of hell. "No. Not Georgia."

I was watching her with intense interest at the emotion in her response.

"There's nothing for me in Georgia," she added.

"Your family's there, though, right?" I asked.

Jill let her eyes run over my face. She'd stopped crying, but her eyes were still red. And, again, it just didn't seem fair that

after crying like that, she still looked so darn good.

"I don't have any family, Harlie," she said.

At my puzzled look, she said, "None that matter, anyway."

"What about your sister?" I asked.

Jill shook her head slightly, and lifted her shoulders. "I don't have any _real_ family," she said.

Even more puzzled, I wrinkled my forehead. "What do you mean?" I asked, determined that she was going to answer.

"I grew up mostly in foster care," Jill said.

"Oh," I said, trying to take that in.

"I've lived in so many foster homes that I've lost count," she said. "I did have a sister-we lost touch a long time ago."

"Is that the sister you were talking about? The one who had morning sickness when she was pregnant?" I asked.

"No. That was a foster sister. I haven't seen my real sister-" she hesitated, "For about seven years, I think."

"Oh," I said. "I'm sorry." She sounded more resigned than sad.

Jill shrugged. She went to sit down at the kitchen table.

"How did you get separated?" I asked her.

"Foster homes don't usually want to take more than one placement at a time," Jill said.

I took my glass of water, and went to sit opposite Jill at the table. I was feeling 'drawn in' to this conversation. She seemed to be

willing to talk, and I found that I couldn't resist taking advantage of that.

"How come?" I asked her.

"Too much trouble-not enough beds usually, to accommodate more than one at a time," she said. "Foster homes stay

mostly full, generally. There's more kids than there are homes available."

"I didn't know that," I said, sort of quietly.

Jill shrugged again. "Yeah."

I wanted to know just why she had ended up in foster care, but yet-maybe I didn't want to know.

"Daniel never said anything to me-about you having been in foster care, I mean," I said.

"He knows I mostly don't want people to know. At least right off," she said.

"I understand that," I said. And, I did.

"Some of the others know now," she said. By 'others' I was fairly sure she meant Adam and Hannah, probably Brian,

and Clare, too. Maybe Crane as well.

"How many homes did you live in?" I asked.

For a moment or more I thought that maybe I'd asked too much, too soon. Jill's facial expression darkened, and she

said, "Ten, or so, maybe. I was about six when I went to the first one-and I got out of the last one when I was seventeen-" Jill

paused, looking as though she was thinking.

"I guess maybe it was twelve or so homes, because two of them I only stayed a few months-" she said. "Like I said,

there were _a_ _lot." _

"That must have been hard-" I said, and then thought how stupid and inane a remark that was.

"Well, it wasn't what dreams are made of," Jill said, in what I took to be an attempt at humor. I smiled before

I thought about it, and to my surprise she smiled back. Just a faint smile. But, still a smile.

"When Daniel talks about this place-" Jill lifted a hand and waved it around the kitchen, "And about all of the family-he seems

like he's describing something that I used to think only happened on TV, or in the movies."

_That was nice._ I thought then, that after a remark like that from Jill, I could forgive her a lot of the things that

I'd found annoying about her.

Maybe she was like she was because she'd grown up without a real family.

"Want to help me make a salad?" I asked her. "It could go along with the sandwiches for supper."

"Okay," she said.

I put eggs on to boil for hard-boiled eggs, and we began to shred lettuce and cut up tomatoes.

As we worked, I began a conversation again. "So, it's Tennessee that you're homesick for?" I asked.

"Yeah. I like it there," she said. "It's so full of _energy_ in Nashville. And-I met Daniel there, so that makes it special."

I studied her carefully, trying not to be obvious about it.

I decided that we'd progressed enough in our conversation and all for me to ask some things that I thought needed asking.

"You see having a future with Daniel?" I asked. There. That was direct.

"Of course. If it wasn't for Daniel-" Jill let her voice trail off, until I was practically suspended in motionless, waiting for

her to finish that statement. _If it wasn't for Daniel, WHAT? _

"Daniel's like my lifeline," Jill said, scooping up the tomatoes in her hands. "Want these in the bowl now?" she asked me.

"Uh huh," I said, and she sprinkled the chopped tomatoes.

"Your lifeline, huh?" I asked, encouraging her to keep talking.

"Well, yeah," she said, with a smile. "I know it sounds sort of stupid, but that's the way I feel."

I thought that Daniel probably liked that-being thought of as a 'lifeline'. He has tended, in the past, to go for girls who

were a little needy, or in some sort of difficulty in their lives. Jill was sure enough needy.

"How come he has to be your lifeline?" I asked. It was, I thought, time for me to do my part to look after Daniel.

"I'm not very strong, I guess," Jill said. "I don't handle things well sometimes."

"Do you love Daniel?" I asked.

Jill looked at me in silence for the longest moment, and I thought maybe I'd gone too far. I met her look head-on though. I

wasn't going to back down. I had the right to look out for Daniel.

"Yes, I love him," Jill said.

There was something in her voice. Maybe I was imagining it. But, it just didn't ring totally true to me.

She must have been able to read my expression, because she said, "I do, Harlie."

"Don't hurt him," I heard myself say. I hadn't planned out that comment. It just came out.

We were interrupted by Nancy's voice, coming thru the living room. "Anybody home?" she called out.

"In here!" I yelled back.

Nancy appeared at the kitchen doorway, holding up two pizza boxes. "I brought pizza," she said.

"Awesome," I said, gesturing to the salad fixings. "We made salad."

Jill excused herself after that, saying that she was going upstairs for something. It was an hour later, and she still hadn't

reappeared. Nancy and I had spread some of the scrapbooking supplies over the kitchen table, and were working on pages.

Nancy, of course, had found pictures of Evan, and was working on those, putting small pictures of cowboy boots and lariats

around the edge of the page.

I was wondering why Jill hadn't come back downstairs. I thought there was a distinct possibility that she hadn't liked

all the questions that I'd peppered her with. And, telling her not to hurt Daniel. Maybe she thought I'd overstepped.

Hannah and Clare got home, with a wide-awake Isaac.

"What did the doctor say?" I asked, as Clare sat down in one of the kitchen chairs.

"He said the baby's heartbeat is good, and everything seems to be going along fine," Clare said.

"That's good," I said, feeling glad.

"It might be an Easter baby," Hannah said, putting Isaac in his walker, and going to pour herself a glass of iced tea.

"So, just the seven of us tonight for supper?" Nancy asked. "Well, and Isaac makes eight."

"Right. So, as soon as Evan and Guthrie come in, we can eat," Hannah said. "Then we'll just have a nice, relaxing

evening, hopefully," Hannah said. "Where's Jill?" she asked Nancy and I, as she joined us at the kitchen table.

"She was down here earlier," I said. "She said she was going upstairs, but I thought she was coming right back."

"She'll probably be back down soon," Hannah said, not sounding concerned.

"She told me about being in foster care," I said, quietly.

Hannah nodded. "Well, it sounds like she's had a rough time of it."

I knew Hannah had a soft heart, too, concerning people who were needy, or seemed "lost". So, of course she would be thinking

that Jill needed care, and kindness.

I met Hannah's eyes, and I would have said more, but I decided to wait until later, when it was just her and I.

7


	25. Glimpses

The evening was a good one. We ate our pizza and salad in the living room, off of paper plates and TV trays. When Evan and

Guthrie made their appearance, ready to eat, Jill still hadn't come back downstairs. Nancy and Guthrie and Clare had already

headed to the living room with their plates. Hannah paused in her pouring of iced tea.

"Go and tell Jill it's supper time, will you, please, Harlie?" Hannah told me.

I grimaced as I was putting two slices of pizza on my plate. "Do I have to?" I asked, and I was only half-joking. I really

didn't want to.

Hannah was turning, giving me a 'look'. "Harlie-" she remonstrated.

"Well, she knows it's time to eat-why do we have to keep treating her like she's made of glass of something?" I asked.

I felt a hard thump, as Evan flicked his fingers on my shoulder.

"Ow," I protested, stepping back from him, as he passed behind me. "What are you doing?"

"Thumpin' you. Go and do what Hannah said," he ordered.

I gave Evan a glare. I would have liked to have told him to jump off a cliff. Ask him why he was being such a 'bossy boots'.

I hadn't meant that I was going to refuse to do what Hannah asked. I was just voicing my opinion before I did it. Granted, I probably

wouldn't have done it, if Adam or Brian had been standing there. Well, I might have. In any case, I didn't like it that Evan

was talking to me like that. Or 'thumping' me.

I knew right then that the evening could go either way for me. Continue to be good, and end well, or I could say something

smart to Evan such as 'why don't you do it' and the evening would likely go south. I wasn't sure what he would say, or do about it, but

it wouldn't go my way. And, Hannah would be put out at me, besides.

"I was just stating my opinion," I said, giving Evan a lofty look. "I didn't say I wasn't going to do it-"

"Then go-" Evan ordered, reaching around me for the pizza.

Hannah was watching us, looking half-amused, half-something else.

Whenever Evan gets like this-a little too bossy for my liking, I put my mind back in time-to late spring, last year, when

I'd had to work so hard, for _weeks,_ to get Evan to forgive me, and to act regular with me again. I never wanted to have to do

that again. Though it wouldn't happen over something as trivial as this, I still made myself not cross him usually. In fun, sure,

I was a smartass to him. But, in serious things, I tried hard now not to be.

I huffed a little, and said, "I'm _going-" _

I went up the back staircase, and to the door of the boy's bedroom. I listened, but couldn't hear anything from inside. Not the sounds

of Jill moving around, or the radio or anything.

I rapped on the door with my knuckles. "Jill? Time to eat," I said.

"Alright," she said, in response. "I'll be down in a minute."

"Okay," I said, and went back down to the kitchen, retrieving my plate with pizza, and headed to the living room, where

everybody was sprawled out.

"Is she coming?" Hannah asked me.

"Yeah. She said in a minute," I reported.

"Good. I don't think Daniel would like it if we didn't attempt," Hannah said, but she looked at me. "Do you?"

I shook my head, feeling a little badly about my earlier 'made of glass' comment.

Hannah smiled to show that she wasn't put out with me, and then, about ten minutes or so later, Jill came down

the stairs. Guthrie, by now, was ready for second helpings of the pizza, and Jill went behind him to get her own.

After we ate, since there were no dishes to do, we all pored over the boxes of pictures, and what scrapbooking that

Nancy had gotten done.

Clare, to her obvious delight, found a dog-eared Polaroid picture of two little boys, each wearing cowboy hats and chaps, and

looking ferociously into the camera.

"Look!" she exclaimed. "Is this Brian? And Adam?"

Hannah looked at the picture, and had the same reaction as Clare. Her face got all soft, and she said, "It is-it has to be, this one's

the image of Isaac!"

"Brian's looking impatient-he gets that same expression now-" Clare continued to be captivated by the photo.

"Weren't they the cutest?" Hannah said. "Guthrie?"

Guthrie took the picture, and looked it over. "Adorable," he said, wryly.

"You were adorable, too," Hannah told him.

"You mean there's pictures of me and Har in here?" Guthrie asked, echoing what I'd said to Nancy a few days before.

"Of course there is," Nancy said. "I've found some-" she reached into the corner of a box and brought out a stack of pictures

with a big rubber band around them. "I've started to separate the pictures. Here's the ones of you two that I've come across so far."

Guthrie took the stack from her and held it up to me. "Look, Har-they actually snapped a picture of you and me now and then-"

I looked at his grinning face, and motioned him to come and sit beside me one of the couches. "Come sit here. Let me see."

Jill ate her pizza and some of the salad, and then she sat, quietly, looking at some of the pictures. At one point, she

held out one. "Is this Daniel?" she asked, holding out a picture of an 'about two year old'.

Hannah looked at the picture, and said, "I think so-I'm not sure, though-is it, Evan?"

Evan took the picture that was passed along to him, and scrutinized it. "Yeah. That's Daniel."

Hannah took it back, and looked at it again. "I didn't realize that Daniel was a towhead when he was that age," she said, and then

returned it to Jill.

Jill held that picture for the longest time, and when we were finished for the evening, and gathering things up, she said, "I think

I'll keep this to show to Daniel-is that alright?"

"Sure," Hannah said.

The pictures of Guthrie and I were, truthfully, more of Guthrie than me. There were a few of us together, though, and some of me

alone. I was mostly outside in the pictures. Sitting on the front porch, or in a patch of flowers, and with a big, black dog. I kept that one

back of the dog, and asked Evan about it.

"That was Tip," Evan said. "We had him for a long time. He died when you around three or so."

Jill went upstairs and Clare shortly after that. Hannah and Nancy were in the kitchen, and I was still sitting on the couch,

looking at pictures. It seemed odd to me to think that my mother had been the one to take the pictures of me-at least the ones

where I was an infant.

Evan came back in from outside, and came over to sit beside me on the couch.

"Where's Nancy?" he asked.

"In the kitchen with Hannah."

Evan saw the picture in my hand, and said, "Tip was real protective of you. He stayed right with you, wherever you were at."

"Really?" I asked. It was always cool to hear stories that I hadn't heard before.

"Yeah. He loved Mom best, though," Evan said. "He was her dog."

In the moment of quiet, I said, "Do you think Mom would have had more kids?"

"I don't think so. Dad used to say that their quiver was full," Evan said.

"Oh," I said, running my fingers over the picture.

"There's things goin' on, Har," Evan said, then, surprising me. I turned to look at him.

"You know what it's about?" I asked.

Evan shook his head. "I've got a couple of notions, but I'm not sure of it."

"Would you tell me if you did know?" I asked him.

"Nope. Not my place to tell you," he said.

"What are your notions?" I asked.

Evan hesitated, and then said, "I think I better keep them to myself, too. I'm probably way off base with them, anyway."

I lowered my voice, and said, "I'm not sure Jill really loves Daniel, Ev."

Evan gave me a direct look. "You've got no way of really knowin' that."

"I _feel_ it," I said.

Evan shook his head again. I thought he'd probably tell me to quit being goofy about _feelings,_ but he didn't. He

looked serious and said, "Well, that's one thing I hope you're wrong about, shortcake."

7

Evan and Nancy left, and Guthrie had gone up to bed. I found Hannah in the kitchen, setting the table in preparation

for breakfast the next morning.

"You should be getting to bed," she told me.

"I'm going soon," I said. I prepared to do my diabetes shot.

I knew that Hannah wouldn't tell me what was going on, and I knew better than to even ask her. But, I was bothered

enough by my conversation with Jill to want to share with her.

"Do you think Jill loves Daniel?" I asked her, quietly.

Hannah gave me a quick look. "I hope that she does," she said, just as quietly, as she poured water from the teakettle into

a cup with a tea bag.

"She said that Daniel is her lifeline," I said.

Hannah's eyes stayed on my face. She took in what I'd said, and turned it over in her mind.

"I don't know that that's a bad thing," she said.

"But, you're not sure that it's a _good thing,_ either, right?"

There was a bit of a hesitation on her part. "I think that will depend-on how their relationship evolves." She went to sit at

the table, holding her cup of tea.

I was quiet, putting my supplies away, and thinking that over.

"Daniel hardly _knows_ her," I said.

"That's true."

When Hannah didn't dispute, or offer excuses on Jill and Daniel's short acquaintance, I went to sit down beside her

at the table. I was still, waiting for her to speak.

"Love can't be explained," she said, after a few moments. She ran her fingers over the rim of the cup. "Or always understood."

"I told her not to hurt Daniel," I confided.

Hannah reached out to cover my hand with hers. She gave me a half-smile. We sat in the stillness of the kitchen

for a while after that, both of us in our own thoughts.

7

Of course, I had to tell Hannah about the extra dogs in the barn. We were walking upstairs together, both of us, ready to

head to bed, when I told her.

She gave me a sideways look. "Oh, Harlie," she said.

I went over the details in haste, telling her that one pup was to leave the next afternoon.

"And then the other one?" she pointed out. "What about it?"

"I'll work on it," I said.

Hannah stopped at the top of the stairs, and gave me a silent look that said, 'Harlie, Harlie, Harlie, what are you thinking?'

"Will you tell Adam and Brian when they get home in the morning?" I asked.

"Oh, sure, I will," Hannah said, glibly, her sense of humor shining thru. "Maybe they'll get home before you leave for school and

you can tell them yourself."

I smiled at her, and gave her an impulsive hug.

7

I got up earlier than usual in the morning, to go out and make sure the visiting dogs were fed and watered. And, I had to clean

out the stall and put down some fresh, clean hay. Guthrie helped me, keeping a hold on them while I forked the new hay in.

Warrior stayed back, not causing a problem, but the one dog still seemed aggressive towards Warrior, trying to lunge at him. It

took Guthrie hanging tight to keep it from happening.

"I don't know about this one, Har," Guthrie said, retightening his hold on the pup. "He's a wild card, I think."

I cast a glance towards Warrior. Jethro, too. Jethro doesn't get far from Guthrie at any given time. Jethro seemed less

than impressed with the yipping, wild pups, too.

"I know," I said, over the sound of the annoying yipping.

I had to go and change my clothes again after that, before I could get around to check my blood sugar level, and eat

breakfast, and then head off to school.

The braid that Jill had done two days before, had finally begun to unravel. I tucked up the loose pieces, thinking that I

would make it last thru today, and then take it out tonight.

It was sort of weird to not have Adam standing on the porch, with his cup of coffee in hand, as Guthrie and I

headed off to school. He was always there, telling us to have a good day. _Every single day._

_7_


	26. Stunned

There were two surprise quizzes at school that day. _Two! _ Sometimes, I think the teachers get together in that staff lounge, and sit

around, thinking of ways to torture the students.

I knew that I did okay on the phycology quiz, but the trigonometry one truly caught me by surprise, and it was over some _new_

material! That was so unfair! I walked out of that classroom feeling discouraged. I wasn't even sure that I had passed it.

I had talked to the girl who was supposed to pick up one of the dogs, (Donna Jo Smythe), in between classes, and she

promised she would meet me at the house before six that day.

I went off to work, and Ivy and I went out on a call. I usually enjoy that, getting to go out on a call, and away from

the office. Today, it was a call to a ranch on the west side of Murphys. Driving there, Ivy and I were talking. She

said she'd spoken to Crane earlier in the day.

"You did?" I asked. "How is he?" I thought how that sounded, and added, "I mean, did he seem okay?"

Ivy knew what I meant, because she said, "He said they all did some hunting, but didn't get a deer. He said they

did a lot of talking."

"I hope that's a good thing," I said, looking out the window at the passing scenery.

"You mean good that they all talked together?" Ivy asked.

"Yeah." I turned to look at her. "Like-talking, and not yelling. Or reaching some sort of-agreement, or

whatever-"

"Crane seemed fine, really," Ivy said.

"Crane's a positive person," I said. "He always finds the bright side to things." I gave her a half-smile. "I guess

you've figured that out about him already, though, huh?"

Ivy smiled a smile that would have rivaled that of a supermodel. "I honestly don't see any faults in Crane," she said.

I smiled back. "Well, he _is_ pretty darn nice."

7

Ivy paid me that day before I left, and I made sure that I was 'square' with her as far as what she'd done to help

me with D.C. It wasn't much left over, and I owed some of it to the family coffers for the massive monthly vehicle insurance bill. They

didn't make Guthrie and I pay as much as everybody else on it, but we had to give a portion. Since Guthrie doesn't always have

an 'outside' job away from home, he gets a set amount every month for working around the ranch, and he has to pay stuff out

of that. It's all part of the 'plan' to teach Guthrie and I responsibility.

I pulled up at the house, and parked, getting out and reaching in to gather my school clothes and backpack. I was looking around,

checking to see what vehicles were present and accounted for. I was hoping to see Daniel around, because I thought I would be able

to tell by his demeanor if things were better, or at least better than they had been.

I heard a piercing whistle, and looked around some more for the source of it.

Adam was walking in from the pasture, and coming around the corner of the barn. I waved to him, and he motioned

to me to come.

"The dogs," I muttered to myself.

I kept my arms full of clothes and backpack, and began walking his direction. Adam had stopped at the other side of the

corral fence, and as I was walking closer, I said, "Hey, Adam."

He gave a sort of a nod in greeting, but didn't say anything.

I came to a stop on the other side, the fence between us. He rested his hands on the top rail, and gave me a long look.

"How was your camping?" I asked.

"It was fine," he said.

"That's good," I said. Awkward momentary silence. "I guess you saw the dogs in the barn," I said.

"I did," Adam said. He had his 'dad' look and voice on.

"One of them is being picked up today, by six o'clock," I said.

"Uh huh," he said, obviously waiting for more.

"And then-the other one-I'm gonna find a home for," I said.

"Mmm," Adam said, giving a slight nod.

"Becky and Beth Ann are gonna help with finding a home."

"Well, that would be helpful," he said.

We exchanged a look and he seemed so stern that I felt my stomach knot up.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked, in trepidation.

"I'm not pleased," he said. "I was under the notion that we had an understanding about animals bein' brought home. Wasn't

it supposed to be discussed _first_, and _then_ permission given or not?"

_Yikes._ I was going to 'yes, sir' him, but instead I only nodded, meekly.

"The other dogs don't seem to take to those two," Adam said.

"No, they don't," I said, in meek agreement.

Adam brought his hands up and then back down again on the top rail. "Well, get that one gone tonight, and then

you put everything you have into rehoming the other one."

"Okay," I said.

"And, no more of this, Harlie. No animals brought home, without permission. Understood?"

Now, I did it. "Yes, sir," I said.

"Alright," he said.

I wanted to ask him about the camping trip, and whether 'things' were on the right road now, with Daniel, and whatever was

going on. But, I decided to be prudent. I'd find out soon enough. And, I had enough to do. Chores. Homework. Waiting for Donna Jo to

come and take the pup. Maybe I could convince her to take _both._ That would be ultra fantastic.

As I was heading up the front steps, carrying all my stuff, Daniel came bounding out the front door at the same time.

"Hey, squirt," he said, in greeting, as we both paused at the top step.

"Hey."

"How's tricks?" he asked.

"Adam's unhappy about the stray dogs," I said.

"Yeah. Well-this isn't exactly set up to be a dog rescue around here."

"I know." I sighed. "It's just _hard_ to say no, when an animal has nowhere else to go-"

Daniel was regarding me with a sympathetic look.

"How are _you?"_ I asked, turning the tables.

"Hangin' in there," Daniel said.

"What does that mean, Daniel?" I asked. "Are you okay? Are you and Brian okay?"

When I said that, I guess he could see I was serious, because he sighed, and said, "No brushin' you off, is there?"

"Why would you _want_ to brush me off?" I asked.

Daniel gave me an intense look. "I _don't_ want to, squirt. Things are-" he hesitated. "Complicated."

"I'm worried about you," I said, feeling emotional.

"Aw, don't be," he said, sounding regretful, and reached out to hug me hard.

I hugged him back. "I can't help it," I said, my voice muffled by my face in his shoulder.

Daniel held me back, looking at me. "The OBG don't allow that," he said. "I _worry about you._ You aren't allowed to

worry about me-"

_Again with the OBG, Older Brother's Guide,_ which was Daniel's standard joke.

"Daniel, I'm _serious,"_ I told him, reprovingly. "Don't make fun."

Now, the regret showed thru his eyes. "I'm sorry," he said. "I shouldn't tease you."

"You can tease me. Just not about this," I said, full-on serious.

He nodded. "Okay." He took a couple of steps back, and leaned against one of the porch posts. He sighed, looking

as though he was thinking over his words.

"Things with Brian and me-they're okay," he said. "You're gonna find out when you're older-that just because

you're grown, it doesn't mean that they all stop worryin' about you. Or wanting what they think is best."

I kept my eyes on Daniel, clutching my armful of belongings.

"I'm gettin' married," he said.

You could have knocked me over then. With just a small breath, I think. I was shocked, plain and simple.

"Married," I repeated, stupidly.

"Yeah."

"Well-" I was so stunned I wasn't sure what to say. I wanted to say, 'what are you thinking?' or 'you can't do that', but

instead I said, "Are you happy, Daniel?"

For a moment, I thought I saw a glimmer in his eyes. He stepped back to me, and laid his hand on one side of my face.

"I got asked a whole lot of questions, by a whole lot of McFaddens over the last couple of days. But _nobody else_

asked me that particular thing." He leaned in and kissed me on the top of my head. "Thanks, squirt."

There were others, coming in and coming out then, and our private conversation was over. I was inside, still feeling stunned,

when I realized that Daniel hadn't answered my question about being happy.

7

I did my chores, still feeling stunned. I ate tacos, still feeling stunned. I was doing my homework at the kitchen table, after the

kitchen had cleared out, still feeling stunned. Guthrie came in, and proceeded to pour himself a glass of milk. I pushed my

books away, and twirled my pen in my fingers, looking at him. He turned to look at me, leaning against the counter.

We exchanged a lonnnng look. Of understanding each other. Guthrie and I can do that. We've always been able to.

"He told you, too," I said, and it was a statement of fact, not a question.

Guthrie nodded, looking serious. "Yeah."

"I don't get it, Guthrie," I said.

Guthrie gave another shake of his head. "Me, either."

Nobody had talked of it-_it being the_ subject-of Daniel's sudden and unforeseen decision to marry Jill-at supper. Other topics

were discussed, casual things, but not _that._ Jill had been quiet, seemingly subdued, though I could tell she held Daniel's hand

under the table during the entire meal. Daniel ate with his left hand because she had hold of his right.

"Something feels _wrong,"_ I said to Guthrie. We were both speaking in a really low tone, so we wouldn't be overheard.

"Maybe it's because it's such a shock," Guthrie suggested. "Maybe if we get used to the idea-it won't seem so weird."

Into the stillness that followed that comment of Guthrie's, Daniel appeared in the kitchen. I was glad we had been taking a

silent moment, so he hadn't heard what we'd been saying.

Daniel went to take out the milk jug, the one that Guthrie had only just returned to the refrigerator. He went to pull down

a glass, and filled it with milk, giving me and Guthrie a searching look.

"I have somethin' more to tell you two about," Daniel said.

I felt my stomach drop. Like, seriously. What the heck _else_ could he want to tell me and Guthrie?

"You're kiddin'," Guthrie said, dryly. And, inside, I was cheering Guthrie on. He'd said what I was thinking.

"No. I'm not kiddin'," Daniel said, and it looked like he was trying to smile.

"What is it?" Guthrie asked.

Daniel gave us both another long look, and then came and sat down at the kitchen table, across from me.

"Come sit down, Guth," he said.

"Why I gotta sit down?" Guthrie asked. "Is it that big, what you're gonna tell us?" Wow. Guthrie was really showing

his irritation, and, though I didn't blame him at _all,_ I felt my stomach knot up, watching the exchange between the two of them.

Daniel didn't look irritated, though, or even put out at Guthrie's stubbornness.

He looked resigned, almost _sad, I thought._ "Please," he said to Guthrie.

I couldn't stand that look on Daniel's face. "Guthrie-" I said, really quietly, a pleading for him to _just sit, for Pete's sake._

Guthrie came and sat down next to me, so we were both side by side, looking across the table at Daniel.

7


	27. Bomb

Daniel began talking. "It's quick-for me and Jill to get married."

Um, yeah? That was my thought. And apparently Guthrie's, too.

"Yeah," Guthrie said. "Why would you wanna get married to somebody you hardly know?"

_Ouch._ Guthrie's tone wasn't rude. At least not exactly.

"I _do_ know her, Guth. Maybe not long in time, but in the important ways, I do," Daniel said.

Guthrie was silent, but when I looked sideways at him, he looked unconvinced.

"How come everybody was so wigged out?" Guthrie asked now. "I mean, even if it's quick, it's _your_ business, right? Not

everybody else's."

"In theory," Daniel said.

"Huh?" Guthrie asked.

Daniel shook his head a little. "It's my business, until it affects the family." He hesitated, looking as though he

was searching for words. "There's more to this-more than just me and Jill gettin' married. That's the other part of it that

I needed to talk to you both about."

"Jill's pregnant?" Guthrie guessed, dryly.

I resisted the urge, a powerful one, to tell Guthrie to shut his mouth. That Daniel wouldn't be that stupid-

And, by _stupid,_ I meant so stupid as to be careless, _not careful-_to get a girl that he hardly knew pregnant.

I waited for Daniel to dispute what Guthrie had said. Deny it.

Only-he didn't. He only sat there, with that same serious, nearly sad expression on on his face.

"She _is_?" Guthrie said. "Heck-I was just shootin' fish in a barrel-"

I was staring at Daniel, horrified. Well, maybe not _horrified._ But, for sure, shocked. And, my stomach was knotted.

A baby! Daniel would be tied to Jill for the rest of his life...

Not to say that he wouldn't be connected or 'tied' with marriage-but-well, a baby!

"You and Evan-all the time, the last couple of years, tellin' me to be careful, not to rush into sex-" Guthrie

said, his tone curt. "And, here _you_ sit, tellin' us that you're gonna have a baby with somebody you've known for what-a couple of months?"

"I still stand by all that-the things me and Evan have talked to you about," Daniel said, sounding firmer than he had since

he'd begun talking.

Guthrie blew out his breath in an exasperated way, and shook his head.

"Sometimes, there's things that are hard to explain, and even harder to understand," Daniel said.

"What's that even supposed to mean, Daniel?" Guthrie demanded.

Wow. Guthrie was _on a roll._

"It means that I love Jill, and I'm gonna take care of her and the baby. And that, even though it's quick, it's important

to me that both of you give her a chance," Daniel said.

Guthrie was silent, and so was I. We were both sitting, with our arms crossed. Guthrie's crossed more in near-anger, I think.

Mine, more in feeling adrift, and trying to bolster myself up.

"Either one of you wanna ask me anything?" Daniel asked.

"How come you're gettin' married?" Guthrie asked, bluntly. "I mean-you don't _have to._ You could take care of the baby without

marrying her."

"Because I want Jill to feel secure. She deserves to have some stability," Daniel said. "It's the right thing to do."

"When are you getting married?" I asked.

"I'm not sure, exactly. A week or so, maybe," Daniel said.

My eyes widened in surprise. How in heck could the family throw together a wedding within only _a week?_

Daniel took in my dismay, because he said, quietly, "We're not havin' a real wedding, or anything like that. We'll go to

the J.P."

I wrinkled my forehead, puzzled. "What's the J.P.?" I asked.

"Justice of the Peace," Guthrie said, answering for Daniel.

"Like at the county courthouse?" I asked.

Daniel nodded. "Yeah."

"What's the rush?" I asked. "Why not wait a little while, so you can plan a wedding here at the house?"

Daniel half-smiled. "You sound like Hannah and Clare. That's what they said, too."

"Well, why don't you, then?" Guthrie asked.

"I think we'll stick with our plan-but I appreciate the thought. From both of you," Daniel said.

Silence reigned for a long few moments.

"Are you going back to Nashville?" I asked. "Right after, I mean?"

"Not right after," Daniel said. "It alright with you two if I'm around for awhile longer? Or do you wanna get shed of me?"

He'd meant that to lighten the mood, trying to tease as to whether Guthrie and I would mind if he stayed around home.

I felt, sudden-like, as though I was suffocating. A hot feeling rose up on me, and it felt miserable. During the whole

conversation, it had been Guthrie who'd made no secret of his feelings. I had, I felt, been very reticent, and respectful

of Daniel's news, and all of that. But, now...well, that hot, suffocating feeling was _way stronger._ What a stupid thing

for him to even joke about! _Was it alright with us if he stayed around awhile longer? _I stood up so suddenly

that my chair nearly toppled over, and both Guthrie and Daniel were looking at me, surprised.

"What's the matter, Har?" Guthrie asked, looking up at me as I stood there, my hands gripped over the top of the chair.

"Nothing at all," I snapped, furiously. "Everything is just _peachy!" _

I went to the back door, and slammed outside, stalking off to the orchard. I sat down on the iron bench that sits in the

circle of trees. I tried to get my breath to slow down. Of all the- Vile adjectives began to fly out of my mouth, and I stood up,

snatching apples rotting on the ground, and began to fire them at a tree just in front of me.

I gave it all my energy, and then, once I was spent, I sighed, and let the two apples I was holding drop to the

ground.

"Were you wishin' that was me, on the other end of those apples?" somebody asked, and I whirled to see

Daniel, standing there, with his hands in the pockets of his jeans, watching me.

I rolled my eyes, and turned away. "Yeah. Sure. Why not?" I asked curtly, and went to sit down on the bench again.

He came over and stood there for a moment or so, and then sat down beside me.

"What part of what I said was it, that made you so mad?" Daniel asked.

"You're just-well, you're really aggravating!" I snapped. "Asking if we care if you stay around! Asking if we want to get

rid of you!" I shook my head, staring straight ahead.

"Okay. I'm sorry for makin' stupid jokes," he said. "It wasn't easy for me-tellin' you and Guthrie, about all of this. I feel like I let

you both down."

I turned to survey him. "You mean because of not following your own advice, that you gave to Guthrie?"

"Well, yeah, that's part of it. I don't want either of you to think you should rush into anything-whether it's sex, or

marriage, or anything. It feels like I'm not practicin' what I've preached, though."

I shrugged. He looked so, well, so dejected at the thought of letting Guthrie and I down, that it tugged at my heart.

"You didn't let us down, Daniel," I said. "It's just sort of a-shock. We'll get used to the idea. Just-don't make

dumb jokes about whether we want you around, and stuff like that-"

"Okay," he said.

"And, don't tell me that I'm not allowed to worry about you either," I told him firmly. "Because _I am allowed!"_

"Yes, ma'm," Daniel said.

I reached out and took his hand in mine. "I want you to be happy, Daniel."

"I know. I think I will be."

That didn't sound very promising. Still, I had other questions.

"I know it's not the best, maybe, but why was Brian so mad? Why did you all have to go camping just to discuss

things? I mean, if you're gonna marry Jill, and have a baby, why didn't they just blow up or whatever, and then it be over?" I asked.

Something passed over Daniel's face. He looked as though he was thinking. Really hard.

"We needed some time for talkin'," he said.

I wrinkled my forehead at him. "Really vague," I told him.

"Brother stuff, squirt," he said.

"Oh," I said, still studying him.

We could see a vehicle turning in at the end of the driveway.

"Donna Jo's here. To pick up the pup," I said, and stood up.

7

When I got over to Donna Jo's car, she shook her head at the yipping and yapping coming from the barn.

"They're all riled up, huh?" she said.

"Yeah. Come on in," I told her. She followed me into the barn, and over to where the two pups stood on their hind legs,

looking over the top of the stall door.

I was hoping she would take the most vocal of the two-the one who seemed to want to fight with Warrior. I unlatched the door and

she picked that one up.

"He's a little bigger already," she observed.

"Yeah. A little."

Donna Jo decided to take that one, and I breathed an inner sigh of relief. At least things might be a bit quieter while I found a

home for the other one.

We were standing outside the barn, talking, and she began telling me about an older lady in Angels Camp who had dogs that

needed homes.

"It's so sad. There's four of them. Two beagles and a collie, and then a mixed one, sort of a poodle or something," she said. "She's sick and cant take

care of them any longer," she said.

I agreed that it was really sad, and we talked for a few more minutes, and I saw Adam approaching from the west side of the barn.

He said hello to Donna Jo and then asked her how her parents were doing, and all of that.

"Granddad said if I saw you today to remind you there's a special meeting for the Cattlemen's Association," Donna Jo told him.

"Right. Thursday night. Tell him I'll see him there," Adam said.

Donna Jo said she would, and she left shortly after that.

"One down, one to go, huh?" Adam said, as we stood there.

"Uh huh. I'll put up some flyers around tomorrow about the other one," I said.

He nodded, and for a moment we were both quiet.

"Daniel talked to you and Guthrie, huh?" he asked me. I could tell that he knew already, that Daniel had.

I nodded in answer, looking up at him.

"That's good," he said.

I studied Adam's expression, trying to read him. "I'm worried about him, Adam," I said.

Adam studied me just as intently for a long moment. "Well, worryin' over each other-that's sometimes part of bein' a family, sugar."

"Guthrie was sort of upset," I confided.

Adam regarded me, silent, and I went on to explain. "I think he thinks Daniel says _one_ thing, and then does another."

"Is that what _you_ think, too?" he asked me.

I hesitated over my words. I felt disloyal, a bit, to Daniel, since I'd told him that I understood things, and that he

hadn't let me and Guthrie down. To now say different, even to Adam, felt as though I was being disloyal.

"I don't know," I admitted. "I wish-that he wouldn't have rushed into things. He had so much going for him-" I let my voice

trail off.

"It was important to Daniel that he be able to talk to both of you on his own about things," Adam said. "I know it's

all a-jolt, but we'll get thru it."

"You don't-approve, though?" I asked. "I _know_ you don't."

"It's all new-we'll all get used to the idea," he said.

I was studying him, waiting for him to answer my actual question. He could tell, too, because he sighed a bit and said, "I don't agree

with every single aspect of his decisions, no. But-Daniel's grown. After we let him know what we think-then the rest of our

job is to support him."

"Is that the way Brian feels, too?" I asked.

Adam looked as though he was considering his words again. "You'll have to ask Brian about his thoughts, yourself," he said.

"Oh," I said, thinking that _that_ worried me a bit.

"Brian has Daniel's back," Adam said. "There might be some hard conversations comin' up, but there won't be any more

arguments in the front yard. Alright? That ease your mind a little bit?"

I nodded.

We were walking towards the house together, when Jill came down the front porch steps. It was the first time I'd seen

her, obviously, since finding out she was pregnant. I found that it made me look at her altogether differently. I couldn't help it, I know

my eyes went to her midriff. It had always seemed so _flat,_ and she was obviously fond of wearing those tummy-peeking shirts.

I had the sudden unkind thought that she would have to stop soon with _those_ as choices of attire.

"Hi," she said, softly, as we all three paused in between the house and the barn.

"Hey," Adam responded, while I was quiet.

"Harlie, is it alright if I go and get Pepe out for awhile, and hold him?" she asked me.

Again, a surprise. Her fascination with Pepe was really boggling to me.

"Um, well, sure," I said.

"Okay. Thanks," she said.

"Wear the gloves," Adam told her. To me, he said, "Are they there, in the stall with him?"

"Yeah. They're there," I said.

"Alright," he said.

"He seems so gentle, though-" Jill began, and I could tell she didn't want to bother with gloves.

"We don't want any bites, or anything like that," Adam said. He gave Jill a half-smile. "So, wear the gloves."

Even though he was talking nicely to her, and even smiling slightly, I could hear the authority in his tone. I wondered if Jill could hear it, too.

Or, do I hear it mostly because I _knew_ it was there? An odd thing to wonder over.

Anyhow, Jill gave Adam sort of a long, studying look. She shrugged lightly.

"Well, okay," she said. She walked off towards the barn, and after she was out of hearing range, Adam said,

"What is it with her and that skunk?" in a wondering sort of a way.

7


	28. Pondering

This whole thing with Daniel-it got to me more than what I'd shown to him. Things felt _jangly,_ (is that a word?), on my insides,

and unsettled.

I don't know how long Jill was out in the barn with Pepe, because I went to take a shower, and when I went back

downstairs, she was sitting on one of the couches beside Daniel. Smack dab against him.

I only stayed down there a short while after that. Jill was telling Clare about some of the high-toned Southern women

who'd used to come to the hair salon where she'd worked at in Georgia. Clare was Clare. I mean, she was listening, and

smiling at some of the stories, and being her usually nice self. I went to do my shot, and then came thru the living room again,

saying a quiet and in general goodnight.

Brian was coming out of the bathroom, his hair wet from the shower, as I was nearing my bedroom door.

I gave a wave in his direction. "Night, Bri," I said.

"You alright?" he asked, walking on up to me.

"I'm okay."

He surveyed me, looking doubtful. "You look pale," he said.

"Ah, I do not," I denied, adding with a breezy wave of my hand, "It must be the lighting in this hallway-"

"You think?" he asked.

"Likely so. Or-it _might_ be that your eyesight is starting to go-" I said, and looked up at him, impishly. "They

say-after thirty-it's all downhill."

"Yeah?" he countered, wrapping an arm around me from the front, and giving me a tug, joking back. "Yeah?"

He turned me loose, and we just stood there for a couple of moments, getting serious. I knew where _his_ thoughts were, and I'm fairly

certain he knew where _mine_ were at.

Our eyes met and I felt drawn to say, "Something feels _wrong_ with it, Bri."

I knew that he knew of what I was speaking about. Daniel and his _dilemma. _

He kept his eyes on my face, and after a moment's hesitation, he said, "I know," quietly. "I agree."

In that moment, I was entirely _in sync, in tune,_ with Brian. It made me feel really close to him.

I leaned into him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He returned my hug, and then, in typical Brian-like manner,

he gave my back a pat or two, and said, "Well, you'd best get to bed, peach."

I looked up at him, and, again, our eyes met in understanding. I knew, though, that he wasn't going to say anything

more about it to me. At least not in that way. That had been it.

7

I kept that closeness, that comradery, that I'd felt with Brian in the hallway for those few moments, very close to me the next

couple of days. Every time I felt irritated at Jill, or had the thoughts running thru my head that she annoyed me, flat-out, I would

think of Brian, and how he'd validated my feelings that something was amiss.

Guthrie and I had our share of conversations about it, too. He was irritated at Daniel, no denying that. When he went off

on his periodic tangents about Daniel, (which were meant for my ears alone), I let him rant and only listened. Mostly, I didn't

say much. I figured he had listened to me plenty of times over the years about stuff, and besides, I still wasn't entirely sure

just where my feelings and thoughts were at on it. I just knew that, as I'd told Brian, something felt wrong.

On this particular late afternoon, it was Thursday evening, and before supper. Guthrie and I were doing our after school

chores, and then just hanging around the barn. I was holding Pepe, giving him some attention, and Guthrie was holding

the second pup, so he would keep quieter and not be yipping.

"I just think Daniel's bein' a-sort of a hypocrite," Guthrie said, from where he sat on a bale of hay just outside of

Pepe's stall.

I winced inwardly. Hypocrite, well, that was harsh.

"You don't think he is?" Guthrie asked, seeing my expression, I guess.

"I don't know," I said, slowly, coming out of Pepe's stall, and sitting on a hay bale opposite of the one Guthrie was

sitting on.

"How do you figure?" Guthrie demanded. "He's been tellin' me since I was fifteen about how I needed to know a girl

real well before there was any sex, and even then, to be-" And, here Guthrie hesitated in his ranting. He gave me a 'brotherly'

look, obviously considering whether he should keep talking to me about all of this.

I raised my eyebrows at him. "Really, Guth? You're gonna stop there? You think I don't know that Evan and Daniel told

you to always take precautions and all of that-"

"Well-" he said, and then shrugged.

"We can talk about stuff," I told him. "If I thought we couldn't, well, it would be real depressing." I met his eyes. "Even _more_

depressing than things are already."

"Okay. Well, yeah. Don't have sex until you're sure, they said, and then-always be careful. Protect yourself, and the girl, too," Guthrie said. "And,

here Daniel is-showin' his true colors. Idiot."

"Daniel's not an idiot," I objected. "I think he's just-" I hesitated. "Well, you know what they say-that love makes

you lose your mind."

"And your common sense, too?" Guthrie scoffed.

"Maybe."

"Well, I don't care," Guthrie said. "I think he's bein' stupid about this whole thing."

I sighed, and held Pepe closer to my chest.

I was ninety-nine percent sure I already knew the answer, but I asked it, anyway.

"You and Kristin-" I said, and then paused, letting him complete the sentence in his own mind.

"No!" he said, and then, quieter, he went on. "I mean, heck no, we're not. I don't wanna mess anything up with

her, and, besides, she's got enough to deal with at home with that mother she has. I care a lot about her, and all, but

I don't wanna rush her into somethin'."

That confirmed what I'd already known. Guthrie was one of the 'good guys'. He wasn't with Kristin for the wrong

reasons.

I nodded. "I'm glad Kristin has you," I said. "She really needs somebody good in her life."

"You're there for her, too," he said.

"I try to be. Kristin's special."

"Yeah. She is," he said.

We talked a little more, about what we thought the elder McFaddens were thinking, and feeling, about Daniel and

his lady love.

"You know how Adam is," I said. "He admitted that he's not happy with all of Daniel's decisions, but he says it's the job of

the family to support him."

"I call bull on that," Guthrie said.

Wow. Guthrie really was angry.

"You mean that?" I asked him. "You're not gonna talk to Daniel, or be part of the wedding reception, or whatever?"

A shadow passed over Guthrie's face. "I don't mean that," he said. "I-well, I guess I just need to blow off some steam

about it, Har."

"I understand that," I said. I gave Guthrie a half-smile. We were still sitting there, in companionable quiet, when

Adam appeared.

"Time for supper, you two," he said.

"Okay," I said.

Adam came over, standing near the bales of hay we were sitting on. "How's the resident skunk?" he asked.

"He's doing alright," I said. "Enjoying being held."

Adam's glance fell to the puppy Guthrie held. "How about this one?" he asked me. "Any takers for him?"

"Not yet," I said. "But, I put the posters up yesterday."

"Mmmm," he said, in answer.

"He's not so bad, Adam," Guthrie said, rubbing the pup's ear. "You gotta admit, he's a good-lookin' dog."

"I don't have to admit anything," Adam said, with a glimmer of humor. "Now, come on, both of you. Time to eat."

7

At supper, Jill only nibbled, and picked at her supper. Clare had made a meatloaf, and topped it with brown sugar, which

was delicious. I even ate seconds.

As the table was being cleared, Jill seemed to gravitate to conversation with Clare. I mean, I understand, that Clare is

really, really nice. But, Jill also seemed to feel that she and Clare had something in common, both being pregnant.

She kept asking Clare all these questions about pregnancy. Which wouldn't be weird, really, except that I realized that she

only asked questions. She didn't share anything about her own pregnancy. Which, considering how much Jill seemed to

like to talk about _herself,_ was weird.

Guthrie's yell came into the kitchen, midway thru Brian and I's dishwashing duty. "Har! Kenny's here!"

Oh! I hadn't known that Kenny was going to be coming over. Immediately, I felt happier. Lighter. We didn't get to talk all

that much at school. Only at lunchtime, really.

I looked at Brian, to my left, as he was drying the dishes.

"We're nearly done," I said, looking at him hopefully.

"Nearly done, heck," he denied, but then he nodded his head towards the living room. "Go on," he told me, indulgently.

I smiled at him. "Thanks!"

I burst out of the front door, onto the porch, where Kenny was standing, and talking, to Guthrie and Adam.

"Hi," he greeted me.

"Hi," I said.

After a couple more minutes of chit chat with Adam, Kenny and I headed off towards the orchard. Halfway there,

he reached out and took my hand.

"It okay that I came over?" he asked.

"Definitely," I said. "Brian even said he'd finish the dishes so I could talk to you."

"Good old Brian," Kenny said, and then pulled me to a stop, looking around to make sure nobody was in sight, and then kissing me.

7

Before he left, Kenny and I had decided, along with Guthrie and Kristin to go out the next night, on Friday, to a new restaurant that was

opening in Angels Camp.

I was feeling good about that. Excited. I was in the kitchen, doing my shot, and chattering about it.

"We're going out to eat tomorrow night," I announced to the room. "Kenny and I, and Guthrie and Kristin."

"Where at?" Hannah asked me.

"Pierson's," I said.

Brian gave a low whistle. "I heard that place is pricey."

"Is it?" I asked.

"That's what I heard," Brian said. "Maybe it's not."

"I heard somebody at the store talking about it last week," Clare said. "They said the food is amazing."

"They've got it decorated real cool, I heard," Guthrie said.

"You got the money for that, Guth?" Adam asked. "If it does turn out to be a bit pricey?"

"Yeah. I think I'll be okay," Guthrie said.

"How about Kenny?" Brian asked me. "He have the funds, or, if not, maybe you might have to do dishes

to pay for your meal, peach."

"Uh uh," I said, going along with the teasing.

"Might have to rent a top coat and tails to wear there, Guth," Brian joked.

"Nope," Guthrie said, with a shake of his head.

"I can fix your hair real cute for you if you want me to," Jill spoke up to say to me.

I said okay, and went to bed looking forward to the next day.

7

Kristin and I discussed the next day at school what we were going to wear that night when we went out.

I did say something to Kenny as he were walking back into school after lunch.

"Brian says he heard that it's expensive at Pierson's," I said, as he and I, and Guthrie and Kristin paused on the school steps.

"Mom and Pops went there last week. They said it's on the high-end," Kenny said. "They said it was real good

food, though."

Kenny's parents are way more well off financially than our family is. So if _they_ thought it was on the high-end of price, what

must it be like? It may well be out of Guthrie's range.

I exchanged a look with Kristin, who was looking concerned as well.

"We don't have to go there," I said, trying to sound casual.

"No, we don't have to," Kristin added.

"Sure, we're goin'," Guthrie said.

"We could go somewhere else," I suggested.

"Yeah," Kristin echoed. "We could go to Butch's-or to eat at that spaghetti place, what's the name, Harlie?"

"U-Sketti," I supplied. "I ate there with Daniel a couple weeks ago. It's good."

"I thought you wanted to go to Pierson's," Kenny said, looking at me puzzled. "I thought you were lookin' forward to it-"

"Yeah," Guthrie said. "I thought you were, too, Kristin."

"Well-" I began.

"It's too much money," Kristin blurted out.

"Don't worry about it," Guthrie told her, with a grin.

"Yeah. We've got it covered," Kenny added.

Kristin and I exchanged another look. The bell was ringing that lunch was over, so we went inside, and let the topic drop.

7

At work that afternoon, Ivy and I spent most of our time giving the office and back of the building a good cleaning, and

sweeping out. We had enough time that after that we saddled two of her boarded horses and rode them so they could get

some exercise.

I chattered to Ivy about going out that night to Pierson's, and she said that she'd also been one of those that heard it

was a nice place to eat.

After that, I brought up Daniel and how it was taking some getting used to, thinking of him getting married so

quickly, and having a baby, too. I could have talked to Clare about it, and likely I would at some point. She would

be understanding, and not tell me that I should feel or act a certain way about it. But, it was nice, too, knowing

that I could run things by Ivy.

I knew she wouldn't tell me any details about how Crane was really feeling about it all, because what he'd said to her had

been said in confidence. But, she did say that she knew Crane was concerned about Daniel. And that she knew that Crane had

told Daniel to think of the long term, and not just the short term of things.

"Yeah, that sounds like something that Crane would say," I said, thoughtfully.

"I'm not saying for certain-I'm not there every day," Ivy began. "But, I think that Jill seems unsure of herself."

"Really?" I asked, surprised. "You think so?" I'd gotten the idea that Jill actually had a lot of self-confidence.

"I think she projects confidence," Ivy said. "I'm not sure that it's real, though. I think she tries to protect herself

from getting too close to people."

"Maybe because of being in foster care growing up," I mused.

"Maybe so. That's just my take on things, though. I could be totally wrong," Ivy said.

7

When I was nearly home, I was thinking I wanted to get thru my chores, and get into the shower, so I could

start getting ready for the evening. I was greeted by chaos, though.

7


	29. Rowdy Roundup

Even driving up the driveway, I could see some of the cattle to the west field, running the opposite way. I saw somebody on

horseback, (Evan, I was fairly sure), who was trying to head the cattle off. Two ATVs were out in the field, too, and one seemed

to be helping Evan, while the other one was zooming around in circles. I stood outside my truck, squinting and trying to

see what was happening to cause the cattle to be running that way.

And, then, I saw the cause. The reason. The culprit. The stray pup. He was alternately chasing cows, nipping at their

hind legs, and then full-out running from the ATV. I saw somebody-I thought it was Crane, getting off the one ATV and

trying to coax the pup to come to him.

_"Bat shit!"_ I muttered. How had the pup gotten out of his stall? And, now he was chasing the cows?!

I left everything right there in the truck seat, and began to run towards the field. I could hear the sounds of Warrior and Jethro Bodine

barking, barking, barking, from wherever they'd been penned up.

Gus, though, was out in the field, helping Evan to corral the cattle.

I scrambled thru the fence and ran, skirting my way around the cows, who seemed to be in panic mode. One of those-well, that

cow is running from something, so I'll run, too-is what they seemed to be thinking.

The pup came running within twenty feet or so of me, and I called to him, trying to get him to come to me. But, the freedom

of the open spaces, and the entertainment of making all those cows run seemed to have gotten to him. He wouldn't come to me,

and ran off the other direction.

He ran at the small group of cattle that Evan and Adam, who were on horseback, and Brian on the other ATV, had managed to get together,

and effectively managed to re-scatter them again.

I heard Brian's swearing over the roar of the ATV, and cringed. I didn't know what else to do so I took off after the pup again.

I thought the dog must be part greyhound or something, because he could flat-out _run! _ I came to a stop, trying to catch my

breath, and meeting up with Crane, who had been trying to corner the dog from the other direction.

"Stop running him," Crane told me, out of breath himself. "I think it's just making it worse. He thinks it's a game."

"This is _bad,"_ I said. It was a dumb thing to say, but my heart was thumping, and my stomach was in a nervous knot. I was

going to be in big trouble.

Crane didn't even respond to my inane remark. I think he knew I just said it from nerves.

He was looking around, as if judging what to do.

"Run get him something to eat," Crane told me. "We'll try catching him that way."

I ran all the way back down the pasture, and thru the fence again. I would have gone inside to get the dog something,

but I remembered there was half of my sandwich from lunch left that I hadn't eaten. If I don't finish my lunch, I usually bring

it home, and give it to Clarence. On the sly, of course. Otherwise, I'd get lectured for not eating properly.

So, I snatched that from my truck cab, and began my run back again, as out of the corner of my eye, I saw Daniel's truck

coming up the driveway.

Once in the field, I ran past Brian on the ATV, and towards the pup, who was seemingly getting tired, and sitting, barking at

the cows, who were now being rounded up into a calmer group.

Evan came riding near to me, and tossed me a rope. "Put this on him," he said.

I took the rope, and started walking more slowly towards the pup. He seemed to know that he was in my bad graces, though, because

he got up and trotted in the opposite way.

Crane was walking up from that direction. He held up a cautionary hand to me to pause where I was.

"Let's not crowd him," he said.

I came to a stop, and so did Crane, with the pup in between us.

"Show him what you brought," Crane said.

So, I held out the sandwich so the pup could see, and kept talking to him. Crane told me to throw him just a little, and when I did,

he gobbled it up, looking at me for more.

"Lay the rope down," Crane said, and, when I'd done that, he said, "I'll come round and pick it up. You go on and try

to get up to him, to feed him the rest."

We did that, and a couple minutes later, I was on my knees in the dirt of the field, my arm around the dog's neck, and letting

him eat the rest of the sandwich.

"Hold him," Crane said, and came up quietly behind, reaching down to loop the rope thru the collar the pup wore.

Crane raised his arm and gave a wave towards the others. When I risked a look, I could see that they were all sitting, either

on horseback or the ATV, keeping the cattle still, but prepared, it looked like, in case the dog took another run at the cattle.

The pup didn't take kindly to having the rope on him, and began to pull and jerk. I wasn't expecting it, and slipped to one knee

in the dirt.

"I've got him," Crane said. I stood up, and heaved a sigh. Relief that he was caught, but dreading the confrontation that

was sure to come.

I was going to ask Crane for some help. Even if he was irritated, he would maybe shield me from the wrath of

other brothers-but I didn't have a chance, because Adam was upon me, still on horseback. And then Evan, and then Brian, who turned off

the ATV motor.

"Are the cows okay?" I ventured to ask.

"If they are, it's no thanks to that mutt," Brian said. His tone was definitely on the upper level of the 1-10 irritation

scale.

"This-situation-that happened here, this is what I'm talkin' about, Harlie," Adam said. "_This_ is the reason we don't bring

strange dogs around, without knowin' how they'll react to the livestock."

I looked up at him, and nodded. What was there to say to that? He was right.

"How'd he get out, anyway?" Evan demanded.

"I know the latch was closed," I said. "I remember checking it this morning-"

"How it happened doesn't matter now," Crane said. "What matters is making sure it doesn't happen again." Ah, Crane. The voice of

calm and reason.

"Call somebody from that animal group of yours from school to take him," Brian said. "Get him gone tonight."

"There isn't anybody, Bri," I protested.

"Well, he cannot stay here," Brian said, with finality.

My mind was going over the options, of which there were none, really, and I faced them all, feeling defeated.

"I don't think-that I can find somewhere _tonight,"_ I said. I felt weepy, of all things. They were a formidable group. They were.

And, even though they hadn't been rough or yelled at me, or anything like that, I still knew that they were at their limit of

self-control, more than likely.

"I don't want him back in the barn stall," Adam said. "If he got out once, then he might again, and I don't want

a repeat of this."

"How about the tack shed?" Evan suggested. "Just for tonight, I mean?"

"That's not a bad idea," Adam said. He looked toward Crane and Brian. "What do you guys think?"

Crane nodded in agreement, and Brian lifted one hand in a gesture as if to say, 'if that's the best there is, then why not?' He looked

vastly irritated.

"I'll walk him," Crane told me. "Harlie, go and get his food and water set up in the tack shed."

"Okay," I said. I set off towards the house and barns at a fast walk.

I went to retrieve the two bowls from the stall where the pup had been, and went to the hydrant, filling one with fresh water. By

the time I'd carried them to the tack shed, Crane was there, still holding the rope in a firm grasp.

"Go on and put 'em in there," he told me. I set the bowls down, and he undid the rope from the dog's collar. The dog

immediately went to begin slurping water.

Thirsty, obviously, from his grand adventure.

Crane opened the one window a couple of inches, so that there was a breeze coming in.

He began rolling up the rope, and we stepped outside, and he closed the tack shed door.

I could see Brian parking the ATV beside the barn, and Adam and Evan unsaddling their horses.

"Why do I get myself into this stuff?" I muttered, half to myself.

"You've got a big heart. That's why." Crane said.

"Will you remind _them_ of that?" I asked, nodding towards Brian and Adam. "About my big heart?"

"They know it already," Crane said. "They're just frustrated, kiddo."

"Harlie!" Adam called out, and then motioned with his hand for me to come.

"Will you come, too?" I asked Crane softly.

"Start walking," he said, sounding as though he was smiling. "I'm right behind you."

Both of them stood, waiting for me. Crane paused, to the side.

"Who's the girl you got the dog from?" Adam asked, without preamble.

I had a feeling, _a bad one,_ that I knew where this was going...

"Beth Ann Hopkins," I said, reluctantly.

"Call her. Tell her you're gonna deliver that mutt back to her in the mornin'," Brian said.

I opened my mouth to protest, then closed it, but I guess my expression still spoke because Brian said, "What, Harlie?"

"I don't think she can take him back again," I said.

"Why not?" Brian asked, looking as though he was going to explode.

"Her mother said she could only keep one of them-there were three," I said, sort of lamely.

Adam and Brian were both looking at me as though I'd grown two purple horns out of the top of my head.

"So, you're more concerned with what Beth Ann's mother thinks than what we think?" Brian demanded.

_Ouch._

"That's not what she means," Crane defended me. "Is it, Harlie?"

"No. It's not," I said. "I just meant-her mother may say that she can't take the pup back-"

There was a few moments of stilted silence.

"I'll call her," I conceded. That was obviously what they expected me to say.

"If she won't, then maybe he can go to the shelter at Stockton," Adam suggested. "One of us can drive over there

tomorrow with you."

"The shelter," I said, in a low, horrified voice.

"Yeah. The shelter," Adam said.

They were both looking at me questioningly, and I suddenly felt as though I was going to throw up. Or cry. Or both.

"Can I go now?" I asked, without looking at either one of them directly.

"We're talkin', peach," Brian said.

I should have taken encouragement from the fact that he was using his pet name for me...

"I know-but I've got stuff to do," I said, abruptly, and turned around to walk towards the house. "Phone calls to

make and all that-"

I'd only gone a few steps when Adam said, "Harlie Marie." He didn't say it in a mean way or anything, but there

was a tone to it. The tone of authority. He meant it.

I stopped and turned back to look at them. All three of them.

"Come back here," he said.

I walked back the few feet, keeping my eyes on a tree in the distance, stoic.

At first I was quiet, and Brian prompted me, sounding impatient, his hands on his hips. "You have somethin' to say, this

is the time," he told me.

"The shelter is a terrible place," I said. "It's really crowded, and-there aren't enough volunteers to take care of all

the dogs there, so sometimes they go days without any human contact. And it's dirty-" I let my voice trail off.

They were all looking at me, with varying shades of confusion.

"Dogs there hardly ever get adopted," I added.

When it looked as though Brian was going to say something, I went on talking. "It's a _kill_ shelter," I said, and my eyes

began to fill up with tears.

"I know it's my fault, because I'm the one that brought him here, and you can take it out on _me,_ but please don't make

me take him to the shelter," I said.

Adam sighed. "Well, call Beth Ann and see what she says," he said, not unkindly.

I nodded, relieved. Even though they hadn't said that the pup wouldn't _have_ to go to the shelter, I felt fairly certain that

they weren't going to _make_ me do that. They weren't cruel, not by a long shot. Just frustrated ranchers. And, I understood that.

The cattle were our livelihood. We couldn't have anything chasing the cows, and causing possible harm, whether it be a stray dog,

or anything else.

"I'll call her, and if she won't, then I'll keep calling, and looking, until I find a place for him," I said. "I'll work the whole

evening on it-"

"You've got something to do later, though, don't you?" Crane spoke up.

Ah. My evening with Kenny, and Guthrie and Kristin. At the new fancy restaurant.

I nodded, and Adam sighed again. "Nobody is sayin' that you can't have your night out, Harlie. We just need to figure out

somethin' in the next day or so about the dog."

I nodded, relieved, but still feeling wrung out.

Brian reached out and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "Nobody's mad at _you,_ peach. Just frustrated."

I nodded again, and he squeezed me.

7


	30. Kristin

As soon as I went into the house, I looked up Beth Ann's phone number in the telephone book. I called right then, but the telephone

rang and rang. No answer.

I hung up, and went on to do my chores. Kenny was supposed to come over by six and we were going to leave with Guthrie,

to pick Kristin up. I needed to get ready, too. But, when I came in from doing my chores, I went right to the telephone again.

This time, I was able to get an answer. Beth Ann's mother called her to the telephone.

I tapped my foot impatiently, until Beth Ann said, "Hello? Harlie? What's up?"

"The pup that's left, he got loose and chased our cattle-I need to find a place for him right away," I said.

"Everybody's full up with dogs," Beth Ann said, sounding regretful.

"I know, but he has to be somewhere where there's no livestock," I said.

"Maybe somebody will see one of the posters you put up about him," she said.

"Maybe. But that could take a lot longer than today. And, I don't have time on my side."

"I can't think of anybody right now," Beth Ann said.

"Could you take him?" I asked.

I could hear the thinking going on in the silence that followed.

"I can't, Harlie," she said. "I wish I could. Really. But, I brought home two rabbits yesterday from some kid at school that

couldn't keep them anymore, and my mom about had a coronary."

"I understand," I said. And, I did. Animal lovers and rescuers always understand each other. Still-that didn't help solve my problem.

"If you think of somebody, can you call here?" I asked her. "If I'm not home, you can tell whoever answers, and they'll give me the message."

"Okay. Good luck," she said, and hung up.

I sighed, and replaced the telephone receiver.

When I turned around, I saw that Jill was sitting, curled up on one end of the couch, filing her nails.

"Dog problems, huh?" she asked, obviously having heard the conversation.

I nodded, and she said, "Bummer."

"Yeah," I said, thinking that 'bummer' was putting it mildly.

"I'm sure you'll find somewhere for him," she said.

"It's harder than it seems," I said. "Everybody around here has enough dogs already."

"Why do you put yourself out like that?" she asked. "I mean, if you know how hard it's going to be to find

another home, why do you even try?"

I stared at her. It just hit me wrong.

"Because I love dogs," I said. "And, because I'm just stupid enough to try the impossible, I guess."

Jill blinked at my curt tone, and my choice of words, with the hint of sarcasm behind it.

For a moment, I thought she looked hurt. Just for the briefest moment. It was in her eyes. Then, it was

just as quickly gone. She shrugged, and said, "Well, I guess you're more idealistic than me."

"I guess so," I said, feeling as though I was simmering. I turned around and went up the stairs to my bedroom.

I closed the door, and took a few minutes to just sit in the quiet, getting my thoughts together.

There was nothing more to do right now about the dog. I decided to start preparing for the night out with

Kenny.

I went to take a shower, thinking I was lucky since the hot water tank would be at its optimal best. I didn't want to

overuse it, though, and not leave any hot water for Guthrie.

After my shower, I went back to my room, and got dressed, wearing a pair of tan corduroy pants and a matching vest, with a blue

blouse underneath the vest. It was an outfit that Clare and Brian had given me last Christmas, and I thought it was cool enough outside

tonight that I could wear it without getting too hot.

I brushed out my hair, and put a wide headband on to hold it out of my face. I was putting on a bit of makeup when there

was a knock at my door. When I answered, Clare came in.

"I thought I'd see if you needed any help," she told me.

"Thanks," I said. "I think I'm pretty much ready."

"You look great," she said, standing back to survey me. "Your hair looks good down like that."

She came over to my dresser, and opened my jewelry box. "Going to wear some earrings?" she asked me.

We were sitting on the edge of my bed, looking thru my sparse supply of earrings when Jill spoke from the doorway.

"Hi."

Clare responded with an immediate 'hi' in return. I wasn't all that thrilled to see Jill standing there.

I felt this simmering whenever I was near her. Anger, I guess. Irritation. I hadn't put it all into clear thoughts, but I

couldn't look at her without being _sad_ for Daniel. I know that made no sense, but, it was how I felt.

"Do you want me to do your hair for you?" Jill asked me.

"No, thanks," I said. Again, I thought she looked hurt. Just for a moment. I looked at Clare and she was regarding me

with a regretful sort of look. I couldn't tell what she was thinking, exactly.

"I mean, I think I'll just leave it down for tonight," I amended my refusal.

"It looks good like that," Jill said, and wandered on into my small bedroom.

She perched herself on my desk chair, watching as Clare held up a pair of light blue earrings.

"How about these?" she asked me, and I nodded.

I tried putting them in, but I hadn't worn earrings in awhile, and the piercing had started to close up.

"Want me to try?" Clare asked, and within a few moments she was able to get them in.

"Kenny's here!" came a yell from downstairs.

"Prompt as always," Clare said, with a smile.

When we were preparing to leave the bedroom, and Jill was standing up, scooting my desk chair back up, I thought

it seemed that her flat belly wasn't so flat anymore. I did another look, trying not to be obvious. It had just been flat a couple weeks

ago when they'd gotten here. I knew that because I remembered that mid-riff baring shirt she'd been wearing. But, now-there

was a definite pooch to her stomach.

I wrinkled my forehead in thought.

7

Kenny's eyes lit up when he saw me, and I felt a thrill at his appearance, too. He was wearing a blue shirt that

matched the color of his eyes. Guthrie, too, looked nice. He was wearing a button up western shirt that looked new to me,

and his best blue jeans and boots.

"Good lookin' bunch of kids," Adam said.

We were preparing to head out, and Adam made his usual warnings to drive safely, and no drinking.

"What's the plan after the restaurant?" Crane was asking.

Kenny and Guthrie exchanged a look. "Maybe a movie," Guthrie said. "We were gonna let Kristin and Har decide."

"That's nice," Hannah said, looking pleased.

Once we were out on our way, with Guthrie driving his truck, we headed to pick Kristin up at her mobile home. She was

waiting outside for us, and Guthrie got out so she could slide into the seat, next to me.

I was able to forget about the pup and Jill and Daniel and all of that, and we were in high spirits, as we headed to the

restaurant.

7

The restaurant was every bit as nice, and even opulent, as what we'd heard. We had to wait to be seated, at least twenty minutes,

and Guthrie said in a low voice that we should have called ahead for a reservation. Finally, though, we were shown to a corner table,

which I was glad about, because it had the perfect vantage point to watch all the other people coming and going from their tables.

We were brought menus, the really tall ones, and I was shocked at the prices.

"Wow," Kristin said, and I knew she was thinking the same thing as I was.

"It's okay," Guthrie told her.

Since all the dinners seemed to be close in price, whether it was steak, or seafood. Even the huge salads were close to those

prices. We all ended up deciding to have steak, with baked potatoes, topped with sour cream and cheese.

Everything on the table was beautiful, from the napkins to the tablecloth, to the etched glasses. They brought a dessert tray

around, and there must have been at least ten different desserts available on there.

We all had pie, or in my case, blackberry cobbler. It was so good that I thought I might ask Hannah to make some.

When the check was brought to the table, Kenny picked it up, and held my chair for me, as we got ready to leave.

Kristin and I waited off to the side, while Guthrie and Kenny both went to pay.

We walked out into the parking lot, where it was getting to be dusk, hand in hand.

"What should we do now?" Guthrie asked, looking at Kristin and at me.

"It doesn't matter to me," Kristin said.

"No. Me, either," I said. I was enjoying myself. Feeling free and like a normal teen. I wasn't even thinking about my

diabetes at that point.

We ended up going to see a movie. _Crocodile Dundee II._

When we walked out of the movie theater we were all still laughing. We finished up the evening at the Dari Kurl, mingling around

and talking to other kids that were hanging out.

When it got closer to ten-thirty, Guthrie said we had to be getting around to head home, so we'd be home by eleven, and curfew.

Kenny's parents don't really set a time for him to be home, but his mother always waits up for him, because she worries. Kristin doesn't

have a curfew at all, and nobody waits up for her. Frank or her mother, or even Buddy might still be up, but it wasn't because they

were waiting for her, or wanting to make sure she was home safe, or okay.

But, Guthrie and I have a curfew. We always have. Sometimes, if it's something unusual, like a school dance or like that, curfew

might be extended out. But, usually, it's eleven. Sometimes eleven-thirty.

We drove Kristin home, and all the lights were on inside the trailer house.

Her mom's small car was parked there, in the driveway. When Guthrie opened his door so that Kristin could slide out, we could

hear the shouting from inside the trailer. Not make out any words, really, but we could hear the yelling.

Guthrie stood there, by the open truck door, and I could tell he instantly went into his protective mode.

"Sounds as though they're at it again," Kristin said, sounding resigned. I scooted over to where I was sitting in the driver's seat.

"Don't go in," I said. "Come home with us."

"I better go see about Mom," Kristin said.

"Do that, and then come back out," I persisted. I swung a look to Guthrie, who was standing there, silent. "Right, Guthrie?"

"Right," Guthrie said, in a clipped tone. I knew it was that way because he was angry. It usually takes a good bit to anger Guthrie. But,

with Kristin's home life, and what she has to deal with on a regular basis, it doesn't take much to rile him.

"Let me go in and see what's happening," Kristin said. I thought she sounded as though she was about thirty years old.

"I'll go in with you," Guthrie said.

"I don't think you should," Kristin said.

Guthrie was silent, but looked as though he wanted to argue that point. Kristin squeezed his arm.

"I'll come back out and let you know what's going on," she said, and slipped around Guthrie, and up the couple of steps to go

inside of the mobile home.

I slid on out of the truck, too, standing by Guthrie. Kenny, I guess, felt weird being the only one in the truck cab, so he got out

and came around to stand beside us.

"This happens a lot," I said, to Kenny.

"That's lousy," Kenny said. He hesitated. "I guess Frank came back, huh?"

That's when I realized how even more awkward Kenny might be feeling. Frank was inside. _Frank._ As in, the Frank who had

been involved last summer with the capturing of the Mustangs, along with Kenny. I wasn't sure just what sort, or how much, contact

that Kenny had had with Frank. From what I understood, Frank had been sort of on the fringe part of it all. Kenny had

been with the main participants more. Still...horrible and awkward.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, feeling badly for him.

He looked at me in the light of the street lamp, and said, quietly, "I'm okay, Harlie."

We could hear more yelling, and the sound of what seemed to be something crashing and breaking inside.

Guthrie visibly flinched. "I'm gonna go knock," he said.

"No, Guthrie-" I protested.

I was still pulling at his arm to restrain him, when a man came walking across from the mobile home on the other side of the

street. I recognized him as the father of one of the girls in middle school.

"I've called the sheriff," he said, in greeting.

Oh, my.

When none of us said anything, the man said, "I'm tired of this-all they do is fight, fight, fight. Raise a ruckus, all hours of

the day and the night. Deputy ought to be here in a few minutes."

I felt my stomach knot up. I wasn't sure, but I guessed it was a good thing that a deputy was on the way.

We stood there, feeling helpless. At least I did. I'm sure Guthrie did, too. Kristin came bounding out of the trailer,

obviously emotional.

When she saw the other man standing there, she looked startled.

"Kristin, I've called the sheriff," the man said.

"Oh, no," Kristin said. She turned to look back towards the mobile home, as if unsure of what to do.

"Your mother needs help," the other man told her.

"We'll stay and see what needs doin'," Guthrie told Kristin, taking her hand.

"I better call home," I said, and Guthrie nodded.

"Could I use your phone?" I asked the neighbor man, who was still standing there.

"Yes, certainly," he said, and walked with me across the street. I used the telephone in their kitchen, and dialed

the ranch.

Looking at the clock on the kitchen wall, I saw that it was after eleven already. 11:15 to be exact.

I knew that it would likely frighten whoever heard the telephone ringing at this time of night.

Adam's 'Hello' was terse. I knew he'd reached the level of 'concern' about where Guthrie and I might be at.

"Adam," I said. "It's me."

"Harlie-" he said, and I could hear the relief in his voice.

"We're still at Kristin's," I said. "At the trailer park, I mean. They're fighting inside, and a neighbor called

the sheriff."

"You're alright?" he asked.

"We're okay."

"Kristin alright, too?" he asked.

"Yes. She's standing outside with Guthrie right now. She went inside when we first got here. I think we need to stay around

until the deputy comes-I don't think we should leave Kristin yet. Do you?"

"No. You should stay until they talk to her. See what happens, and if somebody gets arrested," he said.

_Somebody. _ If Frank got arrested, that would be fine. But, I didn't think it would be a good thing if Kristin had to see

her mother getting arrested.

"What if she's left on her own?" I asked, thinking that maybe _both_ Frank and Linda might be arrested.

"She should come on along home with you and Guthrie," he said.

"Okay." I hesitated. "Do you want me to call you back before we start for home? I don't know how long this is going

to take."

After a moment, Adam said, "I'll head in there, and see if there's anything I can do. I'll be there in a few minutes."

I was actually glad to hear him say that.

"Okay," I said.

"Harlie-" he said, just as I was about to hang up.

"Huh?"

"Tell Guthrie that I said neither one of you are to step foot inside that trailer. Not even if you're asked to go in. Hear me?"

"Yes-"

"You tell Guthrie I'll tan his hide if he does," Adam said tersely.

"Okay. I'll tell him," I said.

"I'll be there in a few," he said, and hung up.

When I went back outside, I found Kenny waiting for me, talking to the neighboring man. I remembered now. His last name was Randall. His

daughter's name was Alicia, I thought.

It was just a few minutes after that, that two deputies arrived.

7


	31. What to say

When I came to where Kenny was waiting for me, he took my hand.

"You get ahold of somebody?" he asked me.

"Yeah. Adam. He's coming in-to see if there's anything he can do," I reported.

"That's good."

I told the neighbor man thank you for the use of his phone, and we all went to stand back near Guthrie and Kristin again.

Kristin was shivering, and Guthrie went to dig thru behind his truck seat, and brought out an old denim jacket.

We could still hear shouting from inside the mobile home. Every time there was a another raised voice, Kristin would

wince.

"Buddy's in there, too," Kristin revealed.

Lovely, I thought, sarcastically. Buddy was a loser. A horrible brother to Kristin.

I said, in a quiet aside to Guthrie, "Adam said for you not to go inside. No matter what."

"I won't unless I have to," Guthrie said.

"He meant it, Guth," I said, in a low voice. "He did."

Guthrie got my meaning, because he looked at me in understanding, and said, "I'm not gonna do anything stupid."

"I won't let you," I muttered.

We didn't hear any sirens, but we did see flashing lights, as a two deputies pulled up into the trailer park and

down the street. They came to a stop, and got out, coming over to where our little group was huddled.

The neighbor who had called them identified himself, and then one of the deputies turned to the four of us.

"And you all are-?" he asked.

"I'm Kristin Atherton," Kristin said. "My mom's in there-and my stepfather, and brother."

He nodded, and looked at the other three of us.

We all gave him our names, and he looked at Kristin. "Are there any weapons in the house? A gun?"

"Frank has a gun," Kristin said. "But, he didn't have it out when I was in there before-"

"When was that?"

"Um-" Kristin looked at Guthrie and I. "I think about thirty minutes ago-"

"Is anyone inside intoxicated?" the deputy asked her.

Kristin nodded. "They've been drinking. I don't know how drunk they are."

"Alright. I'm going to have you kids all move, and go over to the other side of the street there," he said.

So, the four of us moved and stood watching as both deputies went up to the door, and one of them gave a rap

on the door, calling out, "Deputy Sheriff!"

I felt my heart pounding, and when I took a look to my left to Kristin, I was amazed at her calm demeanor. She held

Guthrie's hand, but stood straight, not crying, or falling apart.

When I saw our old ranch truck pulling up nearby, and saw Adam and Crane getting out, I thought I'd never been so

glad to see anybody before.

They walked to where we were standing, and Adam asked again, "Everybody alright?"

We all nodded, or said, 'Yeah', except for Kristin, who was silent.

A long few minutes passed by. We couldn't hear anymore shouting from inside.

"Maybe I should go in," Kristin said.

"No, they wouldn't want you to do that," Crane said. "They'll sort it out and then come and talk to you."

I think we were standing there for another twenty minutes or so, at least, and then the trailer door opened, and

a deputy stepped out. He looked around, and then came walking over to where we were.

"Neighbors?" the deputy asked Adam and Crane.

"No." Adam gestured to Guthrie and me. "These two are mine. I'm Adam McFadden. This is my brother, Crane. We

thought there might be somethin' we could do."

The deputy nodded in acknowledgement, and then looked at Kristin.

"Well, miss, this is what's going to happen tonight. Your stepfather is being arrested, and because he is alleging assault

by your mother, we're going to take her in, as well."

I sucked a breath in, shocked. Kristin, on the other hand, stood stoic.

"From what we can gather, your brother was involved verbally, but he claims he was trying to curtail the argument,

not escalate it," the deputy said. "He's not being taken in. He says he's going to see about bail for your mother. Once we

have your stepfather in the car, you can go on back inside." He was giving Kristin a kindly look.

"She'll come home with us," Guthrie spoke up. He looked to Kristin. "That's what your mom would want you to do, right?"

Kristin only nodded, not speaking.

"Your brother said he would look after you," the deputy told Kristin.

Buddy? Look after Kristin? Not in any way.

"I'd rather go with Guthrie, and his family," Kristin said, her voice quiet, but steady.

"Is that alright with you all?" the deputy asked, looking at Adam and Crane.

"Absolutely," Crane said.

"Alright. We'll talk to your mom first, alright?" the deputy said, and Kristin gave a brief nod.

"Let's just have you all hang tight, right here, for a few more minutes," the deputy said, and then turned to

go back into Kristin's mobile home.

Kristin let out a huge, really long sigh. I didn't know if it was from relief, or from the stress.

"I'm not staying with Buddy," Kristin said, in a really low voice.

"We'll see what your mom says," Adam said, calmly.

"Even if she wants me to, I won't," Kristin said.

Nobody said anything to that.

Just a few minutes after that, a deputy brought out Frank, who was handcuffed, and being led by the deputy.

Frank was disheveled, to say the very least. His hair was sticking up, and he looked, (at least from that distance) to

be wearing rumpled clothes, and his shirt was buttoned crookedly.

He was muttering his displeasure about something, but was ensconced into the back seat of the police car without

much fuss.

Next, out came Kristin's mother, being led by the other officer. She wasn't handcuffed, at least, though the deputy

that had been talking to us had what looked to be a good hold on her arm.

He paused, beckoning to Kristin. Kristin walked towards them. Guthrie made a move as if to go with her, but Crane

said, "I'll go, Guth."

So, we waited again, while Crane and Kristin stood talking to Linda. We couldn't hear every single word, but Linda

was crying. There was lots of head shaking on both her and Kristin's part. Buddy had come out and joined them, and

he was arguing, and then pointing at Crane, and over at Adam and the rest of us.

"Buddy's whining about how we take Kristin over," I observed.

"It's not like he really wants to help her," Guthrie muttered. "He's just tryin' to look like a big man in front of the deputies."

"It's up to her mother," Adam said, calmly.

"_Nothing_ should be left up to her," I said. "She doesn't deserve it."

I felt Adam's hand on the middle of my back. He didn't say anything. He just put his hand there. I knew how he meant it, and

it did help.

Crane and Kristin began walking back to us, and Guthrie went forward.

"You comin' home with us?" he asked her.

Kristin nodded, and Guthrie took her hand.

"Good," he said.

"I'll go in and get some of my stuff," she said.

The sheriff's car pulled away, and was gone. It looked as though Kristin was going to buckle, for a moment.

Buddy was standing near the front of the mobile home, glaring across the street at us in the street lights.

"You can wear some of my stuff," I offered. "If you don't want to go in." I thought she might want to avoid Buddy.

"I need to get something," Kristin said, looking at Buddy.

"I'll go with ya," Guthrie offered.

In a move that I understood was meant to protect Guthrie from a possible confrontation with Buddy, and also a move

to not undermine Guthrie, or make him feel like a kid, Crane said, quietly, "I'll go, too."

As the three of them prepared to cross the street, Adam said, "Hey, listen, Crane, I think I'll take Harlie and Kenny. And, then

you can come along with Guthrie and Kristin. Alright?"

Crane nodded. "Yeah."

"Alright," Adam said. "Come on, kids," he said to Kenny and I.

We were in the truck, heading home, in the quiet. Kenny took my hand in the darkened cab.

None of us really made conversation. I guess we didn't feel like it. I was tired. I felt wrung out.

When we'd arrived home, and Adam parked the truck, he got out, and I slid out after Kenny.

Adam headed on up towards the porch steps, and Kenny said, "Guess I'd better get goin'," to me.

"Yeah," I agreed.

"I'll call ya tomorrow, okay?" Kenny said.

"Okay."

Kenny cast a glance toward the porch where Adam was at, and then, instead of kissing me goodnight, he squeezed

my hand. "Night, Adam," he called out.

"Night," Adam called back.

I walked to the steps, and up onto the porch to where Adam was standing, as Kenny started his truck, and drove down

the driveway. Adam held the door open for me, and we went into the living room. The lamp had been left on, and Brian

was sitting on one end of the couch. He stood up as we came in.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

"The kids are okay," Adam answered.

"Alright. Good," Brian said. He came over closer to stand next to me. "Some night, huh, peach?" he said, quietly.

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Kristin's comin' along home, with Guthrie and Crane," Adam told Brian.

Brian nodded, and Adam put his hand on the back of my neck. "You ought to get your shot done, and get a snack," he told me. "And then

get on upstairs and get the cot ready for Kristin."

I nodded, feeling weary.

"I feel so bad for Kristin," I said. I looked up at Brian. "They arrested her mom."

Brian was surprised, I could tell. "They did?" he said. "Not Frank?"

"Frank, too," I said.

Brian raised his eyebrows and shook his head slightly.

"What sort of a mom is she?" I said.

"She may have been protectin' herself, Harlie," Adam said. "Being arrested isn't a good thing, but-she may not

have had a choice but to fight back."

"I don't mean that part of it," I said. "I mean-she stays with Frank, when she _knows_ that's he's a drunk, and a loser. She _knows_

that Kristin doesn't want him there, but she only thinks about herself!" I finished as my voice broke off, and I brushed at my

eye.

Adam regarded me somberly for a long moment, and then he reached out and pulled me against his chest. He hugged me

tightly, and rubbed his hand over my back. "It's hard to understand, I know."

"Go on and do your shot now," he told me.

I went to the kitchen, and did my shot, and took a banana and went upstairs to get the cot ready for Kristin. I got

her clean sheets out of the linen closet. I was reaching for a blanket from the top shelf, when Hannah opened their bedroom

door and came out into the hallway.

"Harlie," she said, quietly.

I took the blanket and held it against my chest, walking down the hall to where she was.

Hannah reached out and brushed my hair back. And then, she met my eyes, and she said, "Terrible things happen-things

that are impossible to understand-to people that we love, like Kristin. We can't always fix it for them. Sometimes, all we really can do,

Harlie, is just keep on loving them." She laid her hand on my cheek.

In sudden, impulsive gratitude, I hugged her. She smelled like the lavender shampoo that she uses.

"Thank you," I said.

"For what?" she asked.

I leaned back so I could look at her. "For taking care of us. Me and Guthrie, all this time. Like a mom."

Tears swum in Hannah's blue eyes. She reached out to pat my cheek again.

7

I was in my pajamas and had washed my face with Noxema, and was curled up in my bed with only the small lamp

on, when Kristin came in really quietly.

I turned on my side to look at her. I didn't say anything at first. I didn't know what to say.

Kristin sat on the edge of her cot, and began to pull off her shoes. She looked up and saw that I was watching her.

"I thought you were asleep," she said.

"Not yet."

She left and came back from the bathroom, dressed in a nightgown.

Without saying anything, she turned off the lamp, and, in the darkness, I heard her settling on the cot, and rustling under

her blanket.

"I don't know what to say, Kris," I admitted.

"You don't have to say anything," Kristin said. "Let's just go to sleep."

So I was quiet. I drifted off into sleep, but sometime later, in the early morning hours, I woke up to the sound of

Kristin crying softly.

7


	32. At Odds

The next morning, I woke up early. Earlier than what you'd expect, since we'd been out so late the night before. Kristin was curled up under

her blanket, still sleeping.

I got up quietly, and decided not to open my dresser to get out any jeans or anything, since I didn't want to wake Kristin. I

went out and closed the door softly, going down the stairs still in my pajamas and bare footed.

I went thru the living room, and towards the kitchen. It wasn't totally populated with McFaddens yet. Well, not any

"extra' McFaddens, anyway.

Adam was at the coffee pot, and Brian was standing at the stove, frying eggs and bacon. Hannah was positioned at the

toaster, taking bread in and out.

Daniel was sitting at the table, in his regular spot, bouncing a laughing Isaac on his knee.

My surprise, a pleasant one, was seeing Ford sitting at the table, already diving into the eggs and bacon that

Brian had served up to him.

"Hey, Har," he greeted me, standing up as I walked closer.

"Hey," I said, and gave him a hug. "I didn't know you were coming home. Did you get here real late last night?"

"No. Just a little while ago." He hugged me back, and then sat down again, going back to his breakfast eating.

I headed to the cabinet, as everybody else was saying good morning to me.

I mumbled a general 'good morning' in answer, and headed to the cabinet to take down a cup. Adam was filling his own

cup so I held out my cup so he could fill it with coffee.

"You're up early," he said.

"We thought you and Guthrie and Kristin might want to sleep a little later this morning," Hannah said, taking two more

pieces of toast from the toaster.

"Kristin's still asleep," I said. "But I figured that I might as well get up."

"Grab a plate and come get some grub," Brian told me. I took a plate and went to stand next to him at the stove. He heaped

some eggs from the skillet onto my plate.

"Bacon's on the table there," he said. "If Ford hasn't eaten it all."

I sat down in my own spot, and Hannah reached around me, setting down a platter of toast. "Did you all have fun last

night?" she asked me. "Before all the upset, I mean?"

"Yeah. We were having fun," I said.

"Is the restaurant nice?" she asked, sitting down in her own chair.

I told them a little about the restaurant, and then shared about the movie we'd gone to see.

"Sounds like fun," she agreed.

"Do you think you could make some blackberry cobbler like they had at Pierson's?" I asked her.

"I don't know if it'll be like what they served at the restaurant," Hannah said, wryly. "But, I can try to make some."

"Cobbler sounds good," Adam said.

Hannah gave him a smile, and then said, "You could try making it yourself, you know," to me.

"Cobbler's hard to make, though, isn't it?" I said. "I think I'll stick to baking cookies."

"Right, squirt," Daniel spoke up from across the table, still bouncing Isaac. "How about it?"

"How about what?" I asked him.

"How about makin' some cookies today? Some chocolate no-bakes would be nice."

"Oh, they would, huh?" I asked, and Daniel grinned at me.

"Yeah."

"Or lemon bars," Ford said.

"Spend my whole day in the kitchen, baking sweets for both of you, huh?" I said.

It was a light-hearted moment as everybody smiled, and Ford laughed.

"Sounds about right to me," Daniel said. "How about you, Ford?"

"Sounds right to me, too," Ford agreed, teasing.

"I'll think about it," I told them, teasing back.

I wrapped my hands around the warmth of my cup, looking around the table for a couple of moments, thinking.

"How does bail work?" I asked. "I mean, if somebody needs it, how do they go about it?"

"After bail is set, then it's generally ten percent of that amount, to post bail," Adam said.

"How much do you think it would be-for Buddy to get Kristin's mom out of jail?" I asked.

Adam shook his head. "I've got no idea, sugar."

"Me, either," Brian said.

"But, several hundred dollars?" I persisted.

"Maybe. It depends," Adam said. "More serious charges would be more bail."

"Assault is a serious charge, though," I said. "Right? So, it's probably gonna be a lot."

Hannah reached out and laid her hand on top of one of mine.

"What do people do when they don't have the money? Is that what those bail places are for?" I asked.

"That's what they're for," Brian said.

"Maybe that's what Buddy will do," I said.

"Maybe," Adam said.

I hesitated, and then said, "Kristin was crying. Not when she got home, but, later-in the middle of night."

They were all looking regretful.

"Well, she's had a rough go of it, that's for sure," Adam said, getting up to go to the coffee pot and refilling his

cup.

"What if she needs to stay here a few days, or whatever?" I asked. "It's alright, isn't it?"

"Of course it is," Hannah said.

Jill and Clare came down the back stairs into the kitchen at that time, and I finished my eggs, as they sat

down. Conversation turned to other things, and Hannah asked me what I was going to do the rest of the

day.

"I thought I'd work with D.C.," I said, standing up and taking my plate to the sink. "And, I guess I might make some cookies," I added,

looking towards Daniel and Ford. Ford gave me a grin and a thumbs up.

"Lemon bars," he specified.

"Any plans with Kenny tonight?" Hannah asked me, then.

Before I could answer, Brian spoke up. "Plans for you and for Guthrie tonight ought to be to stay at home."

It's not that I had any particular plans, or even a wish to go out anywhere, and I knew that Brian didn't mean anything by

his gruff tone. Still, I felt compelled to defend myself and Guthrie.

"We didn't do anything wrong last night, Bri," I protested.

"I know that. I didn't say that you did," Brian said, unbothered by my indignance.

"I agree," Adam said. "I don't want you or Guthrie out late again tonight."

I repressed my urge to sigh. They were so darn protective.

"I don't know that we had anything specific planned," I said. "But, maybe it would do Kristin good to go see a movie,

or something like that. To help keep her mind off of things."

"Have Lori and Trent over," Hannah suggested. "Have a picnic or something. It's going to get warm enough today

to do that."

"Yeah. Maybe," I said.

"Besides," Adam reminded me. "Kristin may not want to go out anywhere. She may rather hang around here."

"Maybe," I said, again.

I was pulling on my boots, preparing to head outside, just as Guthrie was coming down the back stairs, stretching.

"Dang," he said. "You're up, already?"

"Yeah."

Adam and Brian headed outside after that, followed by Ford, still carrying a piece of toast.

Jill went to put her plate in the sink, and paused beside me, as I sat there, on the worn stool that we use to sit on, to

put on and take off our boots.

"Your hair needs fixing up," she said, and her Georgia accent was really sounding thru today.

"It's fine," I said.

"You ought to let me redo it," she said, insistently.

I flashed a glance up at her, and I don't know why, but she was just irritating me _so much_ right then.

"Don't you want to look your best for Kenny?" she asked me.

I'd finished tugging on my boots, and I stood up.

"There's more important things in life than how you look, Jill. _I_ learned that a long time ago." I stressed the word 'I', to

signify that maybe she ought to think a bit less about her appearance. "In case you don't know, we've got some more serious

stuff going on right now than how good I can have my hair look."

"Harlie-" Hannah said, her tone slightly reproving.

Jill was standing there, her expression unreadable. I thought I saw a flash of something in her eyes, though. I wasn't sure whether

it was surprise by my comments, or hurt. Or maybe irritation of her own.

"All you have to say is 'no, thanks', Harlie," Jill said, and then she turned and looked at Daniel and then

went up the back stairs again, really quickly.

I swung at glance around the kitchen. Guthrie was looking at me, wide-eyed, as if surprised at me. Clare seemed to be somewhat

sympathetic. Hannah was standing by the sink, still looking as though she thought she ought to scold me. But, it was

Daniel's expression that held me. It was a cross between disbelief, I think, and also a healthy dose of that same reproval that lined Hannah's face.

I thought he was going to say something to me about what he was thinking, and I tried to prepare myself. Only, he didn't. He

gave me a last steaming look, and then stood up, still holding Isaac.

"Want me to take him upstairs and get him dressed?" he asked Hannah.

"Sure. If you don't mind," Hannah said.

"No problem," Daniel said, and went out of the kitchen, towards the living room.

Left alone with Guthrie, Clare and Hannah, I turned to Hannah. She was the one who would be actually saying something.

"You didn't need to answer her like that," Hannah said. She said it quietly, though, not real strict-like.

"She annoyed me," I said.

Hannah leveled a silent look now.

I decided to try for a flippant response. "It's too early in the morning to be annoyed," I said.

7

After that I went out and worked with D.C. Well, it sounds easier than it actually _was._ He did his trick of turning his back to me

in the pasture, and not letting me get close enough to put the halter on. I'd even brought along a couple of apples, but he

didn't fall for it. I ended up waving Evan down, as he was coming down from the cabin, riding his four-wheeler.

He paused the ATV, letting it idle, and I burst into my request.

"I need you to come help me!" I said.

"Well...'good morning, Evan, how are you today? You've never looked better'," Evan mocked me. "Why, thank you kindly, little sister-"

he went on, pretending to answer himself.

I blew upwards at my bangs, and rolled my eyes at him. "Oooookay," I drawled. "Good morning, Evan, how are you today? You've

_never, ever, ever,_ looked better!" I said.

"Why, thank you-" he began.

"In fact," I said, pointing a finger at him, "You're doing your hair a different way, aren't you?" I reached out and fluffed at his hair. "If

you are, you shouldn't stop, because it looks _fabulous-"_

"Alright, alright," Evan said. "What do ya need help with?"

"D.C."

"I thought you were to the point where you could handle it," Evan said.

"I thought I was, too. I guess D.C. doesn't think so," I said.

"Let me go park," he said.

When he'd done that, he walked over to the pasture where I was standing, with D.C. calmly watching me from about thirty feet away.

"What's the problem?" he asked.

"The same old thing," I said.

Evan gave me a raised eyebrow, and I said, "He won't come to me. He won't respond. He's ignoring me, just like always."

"Have you been workin' with him steady?" he asked.

I gave a brief nod. "Steady."

"Every day?"

"No. Not every day. There's no way I have time _every single_ _day." _

"Every other day?" he asked.

I gave Evan a regretful look. "No. Not every other day."

"When's the last time you worked with him?" Evan demanded.

"Can you just help me get him into the corral?" I asked, blowing at my bangs again.

Evan rolled his own eyes, and, then, walked about ten feet out, and whistled softly. D.C. came ambling up easily, nuzzling

Evan's shoulder, and then his pockets.

He turned and walked towards the corral, with D.C. following, and I went to open the corral gate so they could go in.

"Thanks," I said, closing the gate behind them.

Now that he was in the enclosed corral, D.C. made no attempt to prevent me from putting on the bridle, and then I went

to pull the saddle from the top corral panel, where I'd carried it earlier.

I laid the blanket over his back, and then began saddling him, tightening the cinch. Evan watched as I did that, and then

stood there, while I mounted D.C. and began to ride him around the corral.

"You can go," I told Evan. "I've got it under control now."

He said okay, and went to begin to climb over the corral. "Can you open the gate first?" I called out to him.

Evan paused and turned back to me. "Huh?"

"Can you open the gate?" I repeated.

"Ride him in here," he said.

I was feeling full of confidence right then. D.C. had been easy to ride so far this time.

"I want to take him out," I said.

"You're not ready to do that yet," Evan protested.

"Yes, I am," I insisted.

Evan came over and laid his hand on the side of D.C.'s head, looking up at me.

"You can't get him to come to you, but you think you're ready to ride him out of a controlled area," Evan said, dryly.

"One thing is not the other," I objected.

Evan was just looking at me, but he wasn't joking. He looked serious.

"When's the last time you worked with him? Rode him?" he asked me, for the second time.

I gave him a long look back. "When you helped me the last time," I said.

"Two weeks ago?" he said.

"I don't think it's been two weeks," I denied.

"You're not gonna accomplish what you want-you're not gonna make D.C. really _your_ horse-unless you get your butt

out here at least every other day and _work_ with him," he said.

"Okay," I said, straightening up in the saddle. "I'll try to do better about it. But, will you open the gate? Please?"

"Ride him in here," Evan said, and went to climb over the top panel of the corral and drop to the other side. "I don't want you

gettin' hurt."

"I can handle it, Ev," I protested. "It feels different today. I feel like I'm in control."

Evan paused to look back over. "You need to work him in there," he insisted.

I was going to argue more, but he turned around and walked away. I thought he was overreacting, but what could I do

about it? I decided I was too tired to argue further, or to take D.C. out in the pasture. So, I put him thru his paces in

the corral. I wasn't sure how long. Maybe an hour or so.

I'd managed to push back my thoughts of the night before, with the turmoil of Kristin's stuff, and then with what had

happened with Jill, and Daniel's piercing looks.

When I was finished and turning D.C. back out into the pasture again, I could hear the stray pup barking and barking. That reminded

me in a hurry that I had that situation to deal with. And fast.

7


	33. On the carpet

I toted my saddle over to the front of the tack shed, and set it down. I opened the door, and put a long leash on the pup, who

was so hyper he was jumping all over the place.

I spotted Ford and Guthrie, and headed towards them. The pup was _strong._ He was practically dragging me.

"Can one of you put a stake in the yard?" I asked them. "So I can tether him to it, so he can get some exercise?"

"I can do it for you," Ford said. He went to hunt up the stake and hammer and all that, and then, together we headed to

the grassy area near the orchard. Ford pounded the stake down, and made sure it was secure, and then helped me get

the pup situated, so he had plenty of lead to move around.

Gus had followed us. Likely because Ford was there. Ford is sort of like Gus's 'person'. If a dog can have a favorite person,

then Ford is it for Gus. But, Gus didn't mess with the pup. He stayed far enough out of range so he didn't get jumped on.

Warrior, however, was a different story. He didn't like the pup being there. And he kept getting closer and closer to the pup,

seeming to aggravate him.

I tried to scold Warrior, to send him on his way, but he wasn't minding. Not at all.

"Maybe he'll come with you," Ford said. "If he doesn't, you may have to shut him up so he doesn't keep comin' over here."

"Can we hang out for awhile?" I asked him. I wanted to talk to Ford. About the evening before, with Kristin's situation, about Jill

and Daniel, and the whole rushing into marriage and baby thing. I wanted to talk to him about all of that stuff.

"I told Brian I'd check some fence," Ford said.

"I can ride along with you," I said.

I went into the house to tell Hannah where I was going, and I packed up some snacks for Ford and I, and took a canteen

of water. I went to retrieve my saddle, yet again, and headed out to saddle old Charlie for the ride with Ford. I was in the process

of doing that, when Ford came walking up, leading his horse, Pecos. And, then, already mounted, and passing thru the

gate to the pasture, was Daniel.

I hesitated, as Ford prepared to mount Pecos.

"Daniel's going?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh." I felt my thoughts get all churned up.

"What's the matter?" Ford asked me, looking at me as though I was crazy.

"I thought it was just you and me," I said, quietly.

"Oh," Ford said, looking puzzled. "Well, it's okay, right?"

I shrugged, looking up at him.

"Since when do you not wanna hang out with Daniel?" Ford asked me, clearly perplexed.

I shrugged again, in answer, feeling miserable.

"You and him on the outs?" Ford asked.

"Not exactly."

Daniel's shrill whistle came thru the air. "Ford!" he hollered. "Come on!"

"You comin'?" Ford asked me.

I made a quick decision to go. It would be good to be out in the fresh air, riding. And maybe I'd get a chance to talk to

Ford. And, maybe, even hanging out with Daniel would be good. He was always with Jill. This was an opportunity to not have

her around, clinging to him. Maybe, too, I could get over feeling so awkward about what had happened that morning with Jill. I

mean, it hadn't been _that_ big of a deal. Had it?

So, the three of us set out, intent on reaching the south pastures. At first Ford and Daniel just talked about regular

stuff. Things around the ranch, and all of that.

Ford asked me about the pup, and how it had happened that I'd brought him home. He talked about Captain Jack

and the two new words that he'd learned recently.

We rode the fence line, finding and patching one small area, and then sitting and having the snacks of cookies and apples

that I'd brought along.

It was when we were preparing to remount, and head back to the house, that Daniel met my eyes across the backs

of both old Charlie and Duchess.

"How come you reacted like that to Jill this mornin'?" he asked me, sort of quietly.

I swept a look at Ford, but he was retightening his cinch.

I was thinking of what to say. I couldn't deny that I'd been rude.

"It irritated me," I settled for saying.

"When does bein' irritated give you cause to be rude like that?" Daniel asked.

Like I said, I knew that I'd been rude. But, that didn't mean that I wanted Daniel pointing it out, or calling me out on

it. It felt too much like he was scolding me, or something.

I was preparing to say that I hadn't been all _that rude, really._

"And, don't say that you weren't rude," Daniel countered. "Because you were. And you know it, too."

I met his eyes, and felt my face get all hot. I wished that I would have stayed at home and not come along. If he'd started

this up with me later at the house, it would have been easier to dismiss, and slip away. Out here, in the middle

of nowhere, really, with only Ford there, where was I supposed to go? It wasn't like I could canter off in a royal huff

or something.

"I wasn't going to say that," I told him.

"Yeah. You were," he said, straightening his stirrup.

"Well, if you know everything that I'm going to say before I actually _say it,_ then why are you asking me about

reacting that way?" I countered, with a bit of an attitude. "Don't you already _know_ the answer?"

Daniel rested his hands on his saddle, looking across the horse's backs.

I saw the first inklings of a temper rising in him. I could see, also, that he was trying to tamp it down.

"It was way over the top," he said. "Answering Jill like you did. She was tryin' to be nice, is all."

I felt a sharp, sudden ache inside. My thoughts were all conflicted, and my emotions, too.

To a certain extent, if I was being totally honest with myself, I knew that I _had_ reacted too strongly to

Jill and her hair-fixing comments that morning. But, it hurt, it _did_, that Daniel was coming down on me like this.

I supposed it was always going to be this way from now on. Daniel, taking Jill's side in things, always.

I told myself that that was a childish thought to have. I wasn't some little kid, but still-

I looked to Ford, and saw that he was standing, quietly, holding his reins in his hand. Just listening. And he

looked regretful as heck. I figured he was wishing that he was anywhere but where he was right now.

"Okay," I said.

"Okay, what?" Daniel prompted.

"Okay. You think I was rude to Jill. So-you told me," I said. I felt as if I was going to explode.

Daniel's expression darkened even further. "What is _with_ you?" he demanded.

I tried to meet his eyes, and then I turned away, picking up Charlie's reins, and mounting.

"We're still talkin'," Daniel said.

I turned Charlie to face him. Waiting for him to say more.

Daniel sighed. "I'm tryin' to understand," he said. "You shouldn't be like that. Rude, and intolerant of other people-"

"I may have been rude," I said. "But, I'm _not_ intolerant of other people, Daniel!"

And, then, things seemed to change in the conversation. Daniel mounted his horse, too, and said, "Okay."

He said it in a resigned sort of way.

"Okay, what?" I asked him, echoing what he had said to me a few minutes earlier.

"Okay. You think you're not intolerant."

"But, you think I am?" I accused, feeling myself getting more and more upset.

"Well, what am I supposed to think, Harlie?" he asked me. "You barely give Jill a chance. I can only figure it's

because she's different than what you're used to, and you can't accept it."

His voice level was even. Quiet. And calm. But, it was hurtful. His words. And, also-he had called me '_Harlie'. _

He only did that when he was really, really mad at me about something. It's rare. And, on the rare occasions that

he does it, it hurts me worse than if he'd yelled at me.

For a long, long few moments, our eyes met. I felt as though I was going to start crying.

"I'll apologize to Jill, for being rude to her," I managed.

"I'd appreciate it," he said, quietly.

After another long look, he gave Duchess a nudge with his heels. "Ready, Ford?" he asked, and began riding.

"Yeah," Ford said, mounting his horse. He gave me a sad-looking, sympathetic glance.

I was totally silent on the long ride back to the house. Ford and Daniel talked a little, but I hung back on Charlie,

behind them.

Once we were at the barn, I began to unsaddle Charlie. I was watching Daniel, covertly, out of the corner of my eye.

It felt _bad,_ to have him mad at me. And, he was right. At least, mostly, he was right.

I went inside, and to the kitchen, where Hannah was kneading bread dough at the table, a bit of flour on her cheek.

Kristin and Clare were sitting there, too, and were hovering over one of the worn cookbooks we have.

Jill was sitting next to Hannah, holding Isaac, while he banged a metal measuring cup on the table, over and over.

"Hi, sweetie," Hannah said, in greeting.

"Hi."

"How was the fence patching?" she asked.

I settled for saying, "They got it done."

Kristin raised her eyes from the Betty Crocker cookbook. "We're trying to find a recipe for a birthday dessert for Crane," she

announced. Ah. That was right. Crane's birthday was in like-three days.

"That's good," I said.

"We're thinking of something different," Clare said.

"When are we gonna celebrate?" I asked. "Tomorrow? Or on his actual birthday, on Tuesday?"

Hannah looked around the table. "What does everybody think? Tomorrow would be good, if we could manage it."

"We should be able to figure it out by then," Clare said. "Ohhh, look at that," she said, pointing to a picture of a plate

of chocolate fudge in the cookbook.

"Won't you have to call his girlfriend?" Jill spoke up. "Ivy, right? To let her know about it?"

"We'll call her," Hannah said, with a nod.

I cast a glance at Jill, remembering what I'd told Daniel that I would do. Apologize.

"He's so beautiful," Jill said, giving Isaac a squeeze. "I think he's the nicest baby I've ever been around."

"Have you had much experience?" Hannah asked. "With babies and children?"

I went to the sink to wash my hands, listening for her answer.

"No. Not really. There weren't many smaller kids or babies in the foster homes I was placed into. I was mostly

with other older kids." Jill stroked her fingers down Isaac's cheek. "If all babies are like Isaac, though, then I wish I could

have been."

"All babies are definitely not like Isaac," Clare said. "Believe me. He's very mellow compared to some-my sister's baby

is the total opposite. He cries nearly all the time."

I saw Jill's expression look a bit bewildered.

"I guess I was just hoping," she said.

"I understand," Clare said, kindly. "I'm hoping and praying that our little one has Scooter's disposition."

"I've never been around babies, either," Kristin spoke up, quietly. "Until Isaac, I mean."

Isaac gurgled happily as he saw that he had everybody at the table's attention.

"Want to help me with the rolls?" Hannah asked me. "I'll give you half."

"Sure," I said, and sat down on her other side.

Hannah separated her huge pile of dough and handed me half of it.

"Adam says Guthrie was a real easygoing baby," Hannah said, in conversation. "He was always laughing."

"You were quieter, he said," Hannah said, to me.

The conversation continued on like that, easy and enjoyable. We were all drinking iced tea, and Jill held Isaac until

he'd gone to sleep against her shoulder.

"We can take him up to his crib," Hannah said, beginning to dust the flour off of her hands.

"No, it's okay," Jill said. "I don't mind holding him-if it's okay with you, Hannah."

"Well, sure," Hannah said, with a smile. "It's fine, if your arms aren't getting tired."

When Hannah and I had formed the dough into rolls she got up to put them into the oven.

Kristin asked me, in a quiet aside, if I wanted to go sit on the porch. I knew that was her way of saying she

might want to talk.

"I'll take him up now," Hannah said, taking Isaac from Jill.

Kristin took her glass of iced tea, and I told her I'd be right out. I gathered up my nerve, and swallowed my pride. I figured

I might not have as good an opportunity again, with nobody else around.

Jill was still sitting at the table, leafing thru one of the cookbooks. I refilled my glass of tea, and took the pitcher

to the table.

"Want some more?" I offered, gesturing to her half-empty glass.

"No. I've had enough," Jill said, without looking up.

I set the pitcher down, and said, "I'm sorry if I was rude to you this morning, when you offered to fix my hair."

Jill looked up. At first she didn't say anything. I began to think that she wasn't going to answer me. How I would handle

that, I wasn't sure. I mean, I was apologizing, but if she thought she could _not_ respond, well, I wasn't sure that I could

keep being polite.

"You don't think you were?" she asked. I blinked at her. Instead of a pat answer, of 'okay', or 'that's alright', she was

asking me if I thought I hadn't been rude?

I counted to five in my head, and said, "I was."

Jill was sort of sitting back in the kitchen chair, studying me. "I just want to get along, Harlie," she said. "That's all I'm trying to

do. You seem to think-"

When her voice trailed off, I couldn't help it-I had to ask. "I seem to think what?" I asked.

"That I have an agenda, or something. That I have an ulterior motive to being nice to you."

I was really blinking at her now. "What?" I asked. "I don't think that!"

"You seem to," she said, and lifted her shoulders in a shrug.

"No," I said, stubbornly. "I've never meant to make it seem that way."

She was looking at me, as if taking my measure, as they say. It made me feel uncomfortable. If I'd thought this

apology would be a quick and easy thing, I would have been wrong.

"Anyway-" I said, "I just wanted to tell you that, and apologize for being rude." I wanted to clarify this whole apology

thing, so that Daniel wouldn't be mad at me. "I need to go find Kristin-" I said, gesturing towards the living room.

"She seems really down," Jill said.

"Yeah," I said, edging my way further.

"I have an understanding of what she's going thru," Jill said. "I had a foster father at one point-he was really a mean drunk."

I looked at her, thinking there was no end to her experiences and stories.

She stood up, then, stretching her arms above her head. Her blouse rose up, and I saw, again, that her belly was

really, really beginning to get rounder. And larger. It seemed to be happening so fast.

7


	34. Tricks

Jill caught me looking at her belly-I guess I wasn't very sly or discreet about it.

She gave her stomach a pat, and said, "How about that?" to me.

I wasn't sure how to answer _that._ What was I going to say about her burgeoning middle?

"Yeah," I settled for saying.

"Daniel said you were going to make cookies today," she said.

"I was thinking about it," I said.

"Well, Hannah said it was alright-I thought I might try to make some. Would you mind?"

"No," I said, surprised. "I don't mind, if you want to."

She gave her stomach another rub, and sort of gave me a half-smile.

"Thanks for apologizing to me, Harlie," she said, and her voice now was warm. She sounded as though she

really meant it.

"It's okay," I said, and made my escape out to the porch. Kristin was sitting on the top step, looking across

the pastures.

"Let's go for a walk," I told her. "I wanna get away from the house for awhile."

"Okay," Kristin said, getting to her feet.

We walked down the driveway, and then on down the road a bit.

"It was nice, this morning," Kristin said. "Hanging out in the kitchen with Hannah and Clare. Jill was nice, too."

"I'm glad," I said.

After a couple of moments, I said, "Have you heard from Buddy?"

"No."

"Oh," I said. I couldn't imagine how it must feel, for Kristin to know that her mom was in jail.

"Buddy's probably gotten the bail together by now," she said. "I mean, he probably went to one of those bail places."

"I'm glad that you came home with us," I said.

"Yeah. I am, too. I'll probably go home, though, as soon as my mom's back at the trailer."

"You could stay with us-you know it would be alright," I said.

"Thanks." She sighed. "I want to talk to my mom first. I think this might be the time that she really tells Frank to go,

and not let him come back."

I had my own doubts about that, but Kristin looked hopeful, so I just nodded.

"Don't you think so?" she asked me. "I mean, don't you think that she'll wise up after this? With the police coming, and with

having to go to jail, and all that? She'll kick him out for good?"

I found myself looking at her eyes, and heard myself saying a lie.

"I'll bet she does kick him out. For sure," I said.

I must have been a better actress, or a better liar, than I'd thought. Because, Kristin believed me.

7

When we were walking back up the driveway, I saw Brian over in the orchard, crouched down with the pup.

Guthrie called out from the loft up the barn.

"Hey, Kris! Come on up!"

"You coming?" Kristin asked me.

"No, you go on," I told her, and watched as she ran across the yard to the barn.

I walked over to where Brian was at. By now, he was standing again, and I saw that he'd brought out a soup

bone to the pup. The dog was definitely enjoying it.

"Hi," I said.

"Hey."

"That's nice of you," I said. "Giving him a bone."

"I was hopin' it would shut him up," Brian said. "Give him somethin' to do with his mouth besides just bark."

"Has he been barking a lot?" I asked.

"The whole darn morning," Brian said.

"Oh," I said. I gave Brian an apologetic look. "Sorry."

"So, what's the plan?" he asked me.

"I guess I better go in and start making some calls," I said. "See if I can find somebody to take him."

"Hmm," he said.

"We're celebrating Crane's birthday tonight, or tomorrow," I said.

"That's what I hear."

We started walking back towards the house from the orchard, and the pup got to his feet, and began yipping.

I paused, looking back. "He doesn't want us to leave," I said.

Brian paused, too, looking at the dog. He walked back over and laid his hand on the dog's head, and spoke softly to

him. Then he walked away again, and when the dog began to yip, he turned and said, "Quiet," in a firm voice.

The pup hushed, and laid back down to begin chewing on his bone again.

"Wow. Good job," I said. "I'm impressed."

"He's gonna need somebody that's firm with him to take him. Before he forms any more bad habits," Brian said.

7

Kenny called as we were all finishing up lunch. After Guthrie had gone to answer the phone he yelled out, "Hey, Har! It's Kenny!"

I took my half-sandwich that I had left, pushing the lettuce back inside the bread as I walked to the phone.

"What's up?" Kenny asked, after I'd said hello.

"Usual stuff," I said. "I worked with D.C. Evan wouldn't let me take him out of the corral, though." I lowered my voice,

even though there was nobody in the living room right then. "I said a couple of things to Jill-and Daniel got mad at me."

"Uh oh," Kenny said.

"I apologized to her," I said.

"How's Kristin doin'?" he asked.

"She's down," I said, still quietly.

"My mom wants to know if you'd like to go out to dinner with us tonight, and to visit my aunt in Sacramento."

"Oh. That's nice," I said, thinking.

"Yeah. We'd be leavin' about four or so, and eat when we got there, then probably go back to her house for a while to

visit."

"Let me check. Hang on, okay?" I said.

"Sure."

I laid the phone receiver down, and went back thru to the kitchen. It had cleared out a bit. Adam and Brian and Clare were

still sitting at the table, and Hannah was putting things into the refrigerator. Ford was sitting on the counter, munching on

a handful of Oreos.

I paused beside the corner of the table, which put me right in between Adam and Brian. They paused in their

talking, _something about the hay field,_ and Adam took a drink of his iced tea, while Brian said, "What's up?" to me.

"Kenny asked me to go out to dinner with him and his parents, and then visit with his aunt," I said.

"Where at?" Brian asked me.

"Sacramento," I said.

"I thought we agreed that stayin' home was the plan for you tonight," Brian said.

I gave him a beseeching look. "Kenny's mom wants me to come," I told him.

"Sacramento," Adam said, sounding as though he was thinking. "Leave at what time? Five?"

"He said four."

"Four. Two hour drive up there. Dinner and then visiting, and then a two hour drive home. It'd be another late night," Adam said.

"Maybe only ten or so," I said.

"Likely more like eleven or even later," Adam said.

Hannah, by now, was standing up straight in front of the open refrigerator, and really listening.

"It would be alright," I said. I wanted to go with Kenny and his parents.

"I don't think you got enough rest last night," Hannah spoke up.

"I did," I said.

"You didn't seem as though you did-this morning," Hannah said. _Referring, of course, to my little set-to with Jill. _

I met Hannah's gaze, and felt my face get hot.

Before I could say anything to her in response, Adam looked from Hannah to me. "What's this?" he asked.

I knew Hannah hadn't meant to get me into any trouble, because she looked immediately regretful.

"I just thought Harlie was extra tired this morning," Hannah said, not selling me out on the whole story.

Adam and Brian exchanged a look, and Brian said, "I think you need to stay home tonight, peach."

Adam nodded. "Yep. I agree."

"It's like you guys are punishing me for something," I protested.

"It's not intended that way," Adam said, calmly.

"Well, it feels that way," I said.

"Harlie, that's enough," Brian said, firmly.

"Tell Kenny that you'll go another time," Hannah suggested.

I stopped just short, and I mean _just short,_ of saying something totally sassy and disrespectful. I turned around

and flounced out of the kitchen. Well, I didn't really _flounce._ I went back to pick up the receiver again, and

said, bluntly, "I can't go."

"Oh," Kenny said.

"Yeah. They said no. They think I'm too tired, or something," I said.

"Well, that's okay," Kenny said, but I could tell he was disappointed.

"Sorry. I really would have liked to come."

"Don't worry about it," he said. There was a pause, and then he said, "I'll miss seeing you, though."

"I'll miss you, too. Tell your mother thank you for inviting me."

"I will."

We said our goodbyes, and I hung up the telephone, with a sigh. It would have been fun to have gone tonight. I liked Kenny's

parents. They were nice to be around, because Kenny's father was so courtly to his mother. And, they liked me a lot, too. I could

tell. It would have been nice-they probably would have gone to an expensive restaurant. I could have dressed up...I was

in my own thoughts, and nearly ran into Adam. He'd come from the kitchen, and was standing at the edge of the living room.

Waiting, I figured out, for me to get off of the telephone.

I came to an abrupt halt after our near collision.

"So-" he began, in a drawn out way. "What exactly happened this mornin'?"

I wondered if Hannah had said something else, after I'd left the kitchen. Or, if he'd pressed her into saying what it was.

"Jill was irritating me, and I snarled at her," I said, suddenly, bluntly.

Adam raised an eyebrow, only slightly, and said, "Hmmm."

"I apologized to her," I said, my voice clipped.

"Good," he said.

"It didn't have anything to do with being out late last night," I said, in defense. "I find her annoying at other times, even

when I'm not tired."

Now, his eyebrow went up fully-no half-way. "So, what you're sayin' then, is that you have no problem in bein' rude, tired or

not tired, is that it?"

I felt my face get all hot. Really hot.

"Daniel already-" I began, and then stopped.

"Daniel already, what?"

"He already told me off about it," I said.

"Well, good."

I sighed heavily. "Are we done?" I asked. I knew as soon as I said it, well, that I shouldn't have. I could have chosen any number

of other ways to ask if I could go.

He didn't like it. Not one bit. That was evident in the way his jaw tightened.

"Sorry," I said, really quickly.

"Do we need to have a 'coming to an understanding' discussion, Harlie Marie?" he asked, sternly.

All the sputter and rebel went right out of me.

"No," I said, and then tacked on, "Sir."

"Well," he said, "Pull yourself together, alright? If you need to take a rest, then do it. Keep an eye on your level."

"I will," I said.

He surveyed me for a long moment. I sighed again, but way more softly, and not with any attitude.

"Try to unwind a little bit," Adam said. "Relax, and enjoy the rest of the day." He reached out and rubbed my shoulder

between his thumb and index finger. "Sometimes you're wound tighter than a two dollar watch, you know that?"

7

As is common at times, after Adam has had a 'talk' with me, it mellowed me out somewhat. Made me feel calmer.

I'd never want him to know that, though. He might think then that he needed to do it a lot more often. And, even though

I felt better afterwards usually, I definitely _did not_ enjoy it while it was actually happening. At that time, I felt embarrassed, and chastised, and

only wanted it to be over with.

Anyway, I spent the next couple of hours with Kristin and Guthrie, with all three of us practicing our jumps and flips

out of the hayloft onto a big pile of loose hay on the barn floor. We hadn't done it in a long time, and Guthrie

kept trying to teach both of us how to do the somersault in mid-air on the way down.

I tried, but I couldn't seem to get the hang of it, no matter how many times I tried.

"You look like a contortionist when you're comin' down," Guthrie said, with a laugh.

I sat there on the pile of hay, glaring up at him in the hayloft. "Well, thanks, alot," I said.

Ford came along and joined in, and I felt myself just having a good time. Not worried about anything right then.

It was nice.

The four of us were still at it, laughing and horsing around when Daniel and Jill appeared at the door of the barn.

Daniel went to put away the bucket he'd been carrying, and they stopped to watch us.

"Sounds like a wild time in here," Daniel said.

"Watch this, Daniel," Guthrie said, and leaped out of the hayloft, making a double somersault before he landed.

"You can still do that trick, huh?" Daniel asked, grinning.

"Sure," Guthrie said, sitting up in the mound of hay.

"It's been awhile since I've seen you do it," Daniel said.

"Yeah." He eyed Daniel. "It's been awhile since I've seen you do _your_ famous trick, too."

"Yeah. That's right," Ford chimed in, from his position in the hayloft, looking down.

"What trick?" Jill asked, looking at Daniel.

"Nah," Daniel said, with a wave of his hand.

"Tell me," Jill said, tugging on his arm, and smiling.

"Just somethin' I used to be able to do," Daniel told her.

"Yeah. It was pretty amazing," Ford hollered down.

"Do it," Guthrie told Daniel.

"No way," Daniel said. "That was a long time ago-a _long_ time ago."

"What was it?" Kristin asked, leaning over to look down from the loft.

"Yeah, Daniel," Guthrie challenged. "Jill and Kristin want to see you do it-"

Gus, Warrior, and Jethro Bodine were all sitting, nearly in a row, at the door of the barn.

"Even the dogs wanna see it," Guthrie taunted.

"I'll try," Daniel said. "I just hope I don't break my neck-"

Guthrie gave a delighted, "Alright!" and said, "Everybody come on down. Daniel wants a full audience, don't ya?"

"Sure. More help to take care of my injuries," Daniel said.

7


	35. On we go

Daniel was at the top of loft, looking down thru the opening, as we all watched from below.

Guthrie jokingly went to grab a scoop shovel, holding it up.

"This is so we can scrape ya off the floor," Guthrie said, with a wide grin up at Daniel.

Everybody laughed, even Daniel. Well, except Jill.

"Might be the truth," Daniel said.

Jill was standing under the loft opening, looking upwards.

"Maybe you'd better not," she said.

"He'll be okay," Ford told her, and she stepped back with the rest of us.

Daniel did his thing, his trick, where he jumped out, feet first, and then, nearly at the floor, propelled himself into

a somersault, and then relanded on his feet, out of the pile of hay.

Guthrie gave a whistle, as the rest of us started clapping.

"You can still do it," Guthrie said, patting Daniel on the shoulder.

"How did you ever learn to do that?" Jill asked him, clutching his hand.

"Just naturally coordinated," Daniel told her, with a grin.

"Don't listen to that," Ford told Jill. "It took him about ten years to be able to do it at all-"

Daniel reached out and gave Ford a good-natured palm to the face.

"Not ten years," Daniel told Jill. "But it did take a whole lot of practicing."

"What's going on in here?" Crane said, from the doorway.

"A bunch of showoffs," Ford told him.

"Do it again, Daniel, and show Crane," Guthrie encouraged.

"No way," Daniel said, holding up a hand. "Next time for sure I'd bust my head."

"Or your ass," Guthrie snickered.

Daniel reached out and hooked his arm around Guthrie's neck, wrestling him around. I noticed that Jill was

watching them, sort of smiling, but looking, I thought, wistful.

"You all must have had such a good time, growing up here," Jill said.

"Always out here practicing circus tricks, instead of doing their chores," Crane said.

"Hey, we never shirked our chores," Ford protested.

"We did have alot of fun," Daniel said.

"Yeah, we did," Ford said, in agreement.

"Did you ever jump down or do tricks from the loft, Crane?" Kristin asked, looking up at Crane.

"Sometimes. Most of the time, though, when I came down, it was because I was pushed, or tossed down," Crane said.

He went on to tell the story of how Adam and Brian and their friends would get a big tarp and make Crane jump down

onto it while they held the corners, and then try to see how high they could bounce him. I'd heard the story before, but

it was funny every time.

Later, when everybody was finished up with chores, and trooping into the house, we were a huge group, converging

over the kitchen, sitting on counters, and rooting thru cabinets.

"So-" Adam said, leaning one hip against the counter, "What's the plan for supper?"

"We could BBQ, except Crane is the best at that, and it's his birthday," Hannah said, with a laugh. "So, he shouldn't

have to do it."

"We could just have cake and ice cream and stuff for supper," Guthrie suggested.

"You think so, huh?" Hannah asked, giving Guthrie's cheek a pat.

"We could grab some takeout and bring it back," Daniel suggested.

"Takeout?" Brian said. "For this crowd? It would cost a fortune."

"We can all chip in," Ford suggested.

"I've got a few bucks," Daniel said.

Guthrie suggested pizzas, ordered from the Pizza Parlor in Angels Camp.

"There's no need for that," Crane protested.

"Hey, it's for your birthday," Clare said. "You don't get to nix the idea."

It was finally decided that we would call and order pizzas and then somebody would be dispatched to

go and pick them up to bring them back.

"How are we fixed for soda and beer?" Brian asked, going to the refrigerator and opening it to peer inside.

"I'll make a beer run, and go pick up the pizzas," Daniel offered.

Ford was the one who called in the pizza order, and after awhile Daniel sat down to pull his boots back on.

"Come on and ride with me, Crane," Daniel coaxed.

Crane said alright, and went to call Ivy, saying that they could pick Ivy up while they were in town.

I figured it was going to be one of our group nights, where everybody was hanging out, eating and playing

music, and all. So, I found a quick moment alone with Daniel, as he was heading out to his truck, to wait for

Crane.

I followed him out, and saw that he was pulling his truck over to the tool shed, where he got out, and pulled

out the air compressor hose and crouched down to put air in his left rear tire.

I walked over there, and he looked up at me as he put the air chuck onto the valve stem.

"Hi," I said.

"Hey."

"Does it have a nail or something in it?" I asked, gesturing to the tire.

"No, I think it's just low," he said.

Over the sound of the air going into the tire, I said, "I apologized to Jill about earlier."

Daniel looked up at me and I added, "I think she accepted it."

Daniel nodded, and said, "She did." He finished the air, and stood up, beginning to coil the hose back up. "Thank you for doin' it."

I shrugged, and said, "It's okay."

He went to put the hose away again, and I started back towards the house.

"Well, I guess I'll see you when you get back with the pizzas," I said.

"Wait a second," Daniel said, and I turned back around.

Daniel walked the few feet over to stand in front of me. "I know I sort of threw you for a loop, with everything lately. You and Guthrie. And,

well, everybody, really. It's a lot for you to take in. And, I'm sorry about that part of it."

He looked so serious, so nearly _sad,_ that I felt a tugging at my heart.

"I need to try and understand things better," I said. "I mean, I'm not a little kid. Even though I _act_ like it at times." I gave him a

half-smile.

"Listen," Daniel said, reaching out and taking one of my wayward curls in his fingers. "Ninety-five percent of the time-you're one

of the most amazing people that I know."

"It's just the other five percent of the time that you'd like to trade me in for a new sister, huh?" I said.

Daniel gave me a half-smile in return. "Naw," he said. "Not even then, squirt."

We exchanged a look, serious now, and though neither one of us said anything for a few moments, I _felt_ the connection

between us. I'd missed that.

I could feel tears brimming at the surface, and I tried to contain them.

"What is it?" he asked, immediately sensing the change in my mood.

"I miss this," I said. "Being able to talk to you."

If anything, Daniel looked even _sadder._ "Have I made you feel like you _couldn't_ talk to me?" he asked.

I hesitated. "Maybe. A little." I shrugged. "But, maybe it was just me. My perception of things."

"Maybe," he agreed. "More likely it was a little bit of both of us, at fault in it. You think?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Well, I promise to try to do better," he said.

"Me, too," I said.

"Okay," he said.

"Okay," I echoed.

He reached out and pulled me in tight against his chest.

7

The evening progressed-and it was a good one. One for the family memory book. The pizza was good, and most of the

brothers McFadden had several beers. Hannah had made Crane a birthday cake, and Nancy had brought the ice cream.

We all ate sitting around in the living room, and afterwards, Daniel played his guitar, and Ford got on the piano, and

we all sang. At one point, we were singing 'Crazy' by Patsy Cline. I was standing near to Jill, and I was so shocked by what

came out of her mouth, that I stopped singing. I nudged Kristin, who nudged Guthrie, until eventually everybody had

stopped singing, pretty much, except for Jill. She looked as though she was going to stop, too, but I saw Daniel

give her an encouraging nod, and she smiled at him, and then went for it. I've never heard anybody sing

it like that-well, except for Patsy Cline herself. What a set of pipes Jill had!

When the song was over, everybody clapped, and Jill smiled as though she was shy, but I could tell she liked it,

having everybody make over her singing that way. Daniel gave her a side hug, looking proud.

"Lord, girl, but you can _sing,"_ Brian said. High praise from Brian.

"Thanks," Jill told him, and now she really _did_ look shy.

7

Kristin's mom called later, maybe about eight-thirty or so. Kristin came from the phone, looking distressed. I saw that,

and nudged Guthrie. The three of us went to a corner to huddle and talk.

"She's home," Kristin said.

"Well-that's good," I said, and then, at her sullen expression, I added, "Right?"

"Yes. It's good. She wants to send Buddy over here to pick me up. She said if I come home tonight, that we

can talk things over," Kristin said.

"Is that what you want to do?" Guthrie asked her, his forehead wrinkled in concern.

"I guess so," Kristin said, but she didn't sound very certain.

"Is Frank going to be there, too?" I asked.

"No. Not tonight. Buddy didn't get bail for him."

"Well, at least he won't be there," I said.

"Yeah," Kristin said, sounding less pleased than I would have thought.

"What is it, Kris?" I asked.

"I don't know-I guess I'm just confused-" Kristin said. She sighed. "And, then Buddy's just gonna yell all the way

home-"

"Yell at you?" I said, indignantly. "Why?"

"Oh, because I came over here-because he thinks I don't treat Frank right-all of that. He doesn't really need a reason," Kristin

said, and sighed again.

"He'd best not," Guthrie said, sounding quietly furious.

Kristin reached out and took Guthrie's hand. "It's okay."

"No, it's _not,"_ Guthrie protested. "None of it is okay."

I looked across the room and caught Adam's eye, and then Crane's. I gave a tiny motion, beckoning them over.

When they were both there, beside our little group, Adam said, "What's going on?"

"The phone was for Kristin," I said. "It was her mom."

"Oh," Adam said, and turned his gaze to Kristin. "Well, that's good. She's at home?"

Kristin gave a miserable looking nod of her head.

"She wants Kristin to come home tonight," I went on, when it seemed that neither Kristin nor Guthrie was going to

speak up.

Adam nodded, but said nothing then. Crane said, "It's good. You and your mom need to talk."

"I guess," Kristin said, less than enthusiastically.

"Buddy's coming," I continued, talking for Kristin. "And, she doesn't want to go with him, because he'll be

so mean about everything."

"Maybe not," Adam said. "Maybe he'll surprise you."

"No," Kristin said. "He won't."

I looked at Adam, and then at Crane. I _knew_ what would be the best solution for tonight.

"I can take ya home," Guthrie said. "No need for Buddy to come out here, just so he can run his mouth at you all

the way home-"

"No," Adam said. "I don't want ya to do that, Guth."

"Why not?" Guthrie demanded.

Adam gave Guthrie a stern look meant to curb. "You know why," he said.

"I won't start anything, Adam," Guthrie protested.

"Whether you plan to, or not, things happen," Adam said.

"I don't want Buddy to provoke you into a fight," Kristin told Guthrie.

"I've got self-control," Guthrie said.

Just as I was going to suggest this very thing, Crane volunteered himself.

"How about if I ride along with you and Guthrie?" Crane offered.

Instantly, Kristin's face looked lighter. "Would you, Crane?" she asked.

"Sure. I will. If that's what you want," Crane said.

"Yes. It is," Kristin said, gratefully. "Thank you."

"Call your mom back and tell her you're getting a ride home, so Buddy doesn't head out," Crane told her.

"Yes. Okay," Kristin said, and went to the telephone.

I could tell Guthrie was edgy, and Adam could tell it, too, because he propelled Guthrie into another section of the

living room, and was talking to him, really seriously.

Kristin finished her phone call and went upstairs to gather up her things. A short while after that, Crane and Guthrie left

with Kristin. Hannah gave her a hug goodbye, and everybody else was telling her goodbye, and see you later, and all of that.

I was surprised, and more than a little curious, when I saw Brian pause beside Kristin, and put a hand on her shoulder.

He said something, something very quietly, to her. Kristin listened, and then nodded her head, and gave Brian a wan smile.

7

When everybody was clearing up a bit, and heading upstairs to shower, or get ready for bed, I was in the kitchen,

doing my shot.

Jill, carrying some of the glasses and empty cans from the living room, came into the kitchen then.

She put the glasses into the sink, and the cans into the trash.

"I had a foster parent who recycled," she said. "She sorted newspapers, and cans, and glass and all of that, and took

it to a recycling center. She would never have thrown away cans like this."

Before I could think anything of her comment, she said, "It was a gigantic pain."

I found myself giggling at the way she said that, and she looked at me in surprise.

"It sounds like a gigantic pain," I agreed.

"It was."

She took an orange from the fruit bowl in the middle of the kitchen table, and began peeling it.

"It must be tough on you, having to do that every day," she said, as I gave myself the shot.

"It's a gigantic pain," I said, reusing her previous words in humor.

Jill smiled. "Right. I can see why."

"It's better than the alternative, though," I said.

She nodded, as I began to put things away.

"You know, I never thought there were men like Daniel in this world," she said.

I leaned against the counter opposite her. "He's a real good guy, alright," I said.

"Yeah. I'd about given up hope-and then I met him. And, I thought, 'well, there he is. Now my baby

actually has a chance at a decent life, with a real good father'," she said.

She smiled at me, looking happy and content.

"Well," she said, holding up her peeled orange. "Goodnight, Harlie."

"Night," I said, and as she left the kitchen, I turned to watch her go, with a feeling of unrest.

7


	36. Andhere it is!

By the time I'd put Kristin's cot away, I left my door open, so I could hear when Guthrie got home and see him

walk by to his room, and talk to him.

Somebody else must have thought differently, because when I woke up the next morning, my door had been

closed at some point, and I hadn't seen Guthrie the night before.

I got up and headed to the bathroom, (which surprisingly, was vacant), and then I went to get dressed. Since it

was nearly eight, I didn't think we were going to church. Otherwise, somebody would have gotten me up by now.

When I got down to the kitchen, there were various family members sitting at the kitchen table.

"Mornin'," Adam greeted me, from his spot at the end of the table.

"Morning," I said.

"There's eggs on the stove," Hannah told me.

"Okay," I said, going to take down a plate from the cabinet. "I'm hungry."

I began scooping eggs onto my plate, and asked Crane, "How was Kristin, when you left last night? Did it go

alright?"

"She seemed alright. She was real quiet," he said.

"Did you talk to Linda?" I asked.

"For a few minutes."

I stood beside his chair, holding my plate. "How is _she?"_

"She looks a bit worse for the wear," Crane said.

"Do you think she's going to go and bail Frank out?"

"Peanut, I don't know," Crane said.

I went to my seat to sit down, reaching for a piece of toast.

"Where's Brian?" I asked.

"He went outside, to give the dog some eggs," Clare said, sipping at her juice.

"Aw, to Clarence?" I said. "That's nice."

"Not to Clarence. To the stray," Adam said.

"What?" I asked, looking at Adam and Clare both in surprise. "He made eggs to give to the pup?"

Adam gave a raised eyebrow shake of his head, and Clare smiled.

"Is Guthrie still asleep?" I asked Hannah.

"No. He was up and had his breakfast an hour ago."

"Oh."

I ate my breakfast, and listened to the five of them talking. Ford came in from outside at the same time that Brian

did. There was more sitting around the table, drinking coffee.

I finished my breakfast, and went out to get the pup out of his stall, and stake him out in the orchard again, with a bowl of

water. I went to work with D.C., not really to work with him, but just trying to stand near him in the pasture, trying to

tempt him with apples. Evan came up upon me, swishing thru the grass.

"How's it goin'?" he asked me.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I can't figure it out. He just doesn't seem to warm up to me."

"Maybe if you just relax a little bit," Evan said.

That sounded like a repeat of what Adam had told me the day before-about how I was wound too tight.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Just-be," he said. "Don't look at it like you're asking somethin' from him. Just spend some time every day with him-just

bein'."

"Okay," I said.

"Try some sugar cubes, too," he advised. "Not for long term, just to get him warmed up to you a little."

I did what Evan suggested, and it took an hour or so, and D.C. watching Charlie and Petra and the other horses

crowding around me for sugar cubes, and then he allowed me to approach him.

He took the sugar cubes from my hand, and allowed me to touch him, pet him. Which was more than he ever had

without being in the confines of a corral.

Following Evan's advice, I left him alone after that, not even trying to put the halter or bridle on.

7

It was later, and I was in the kitchen, making lemon bars for Ford. He was supervising me, so so he said. Mostly he

was sitting on the counter, watching, and nibbling at them just as they came out of the oven.

"I'm making you enough to take back to school with you," I told him.

"You're the best, Har," he said.

Jill came into the kitchen at one point, going to pour herself a glass of juice.

"Do either of you know where Daniel went?" she asked us.

I shook my head, and Ford said, "Haven't seen him for awhile."

Jill nodded, and stood watching, drinking her juice. She was just chatting with Ford, about his classes or something. I

was only listening with half an ear, as I put the second round of lemon bars into the oven.

"You alright?" Ford asked her, and when I looked up at that, Jill was standing, with her hand on her belly.

"Yeah. I just felt the baby," she said, with a satisfied smile.

"Oh," Ford said, and I could tell he was a little embarrassed. He wasn't with Hannah, and I don't think he would be

with Clare, but, after all, he hardly knew Jill.

"Well," she said, putting her empty glass in the sink, "I think I'll go out and see Pepe, if that's alright, Harlie."

"Um, sure," I said.

She smiled at both Ford and I, and went out the back door.

"What's wrong?" Ford asked me, and I realized that I was standing there, still, with the pan in my hand.

I wrinkled my forehead, and went on to put it into the oven.

"I don't know for sure," I said, vaguely.

"What do you mean?"

I faced him, wiping my hands on a dish towel.

"Things feel weird, Ford," I admitted.

"Weird, how?"

"It's just-" I hesitated. "She's getting bigger so fast."

"Maybe it just seems that way."

"No," I said, with certainty. "For real, she is, Ford."

"Well-some people just naturally do that, right? Everybody's different," he suggested. "Maybe she's just one of those

women who gets that way quicker."

"Maybe," I said.

"And skinny girls show more," he said.

When I looked at him, he shrugged. "That's what I hear, anyway."

"What do you think of it?" I asked, in a low voice.

"You mean Daniel and her?"

When I nodded, he said, slowly, sounding as though he was thinking out his words, "It's quick. It's hard to wrap my head

around it sometimes."

"Me, too," I said.

7

The afternoon passed quietly, and I was doing my homework, sitting on the couch, in companionable quiet with

Adam, who was reading the newspaper. Clare and Brian were sitting on the other couch, and Evan and Nancy were

sitting on the floor. Nancy was, again, working on the family photo albums.

Ford had gotten around and left for college, and I didn't know where Daniel and Jill were.

When I came back from getting a glass of milk, I went to sit beside Clare on the other couch. She had been leafing

thru the book 'What to expect when you're expecting'. Hannah had read it cover to cover when she was pregnant with

Isaac, and now Clare spent hours reading over it.

I picked it up from where she'd set it aside. "Can I look at it?" I asked.

"Sure," Clare said.

7

Some time later, when Adam went off to the kitchen to help Hannah make some sandwiches, and Nancy and Evan

disappeared, I was curled up, my legs tucked underneath me, when Clare came and sat down beside me again, carrying

a plate of crackers and cheese.

She held out the plate to me, and I shook my head in refusal.

"No, thanks," I said.

I'd found what I was looking for, in the pregnancy book, and my stomach was jumping all around after reading it.

I leaned closer to Clare, against her shoulder.

"Interesting stuff, huh?" she said, gesturing towards the book.

"Yeah."

I hesitated, and then said, "Have you felt the baby yet?"

"No, it's too early for that," she said. "I'm excited for it to happen, though."

"The book says sometimes by sixteen weeks," I said.

"Sometimes. It can be later than that, too. Twenty weeks or so."

"Can it be earlier than sixteen weeks?" I asked her.

"Not usually."

"Oh," I said, and I guess my voice gave something away.

Clare half-turned to look at me. "What is it, toots?"

The living room was empty, except for Clare and I, and Brian, sitting opposite us, in the recliner, reading the

newspaper that Adam had abandoned.

So...I went on and said, "Jill said she felt her baby move."

I didn't miss the way Clare's eyes widened a bit. Brian was paying attention, too. He lowered the newspaper, listening.

"It was a while ago, before Ford left. We were in the kitchen, and she said she felt it," I said.

Clare looked at Brian quickly, and then back at me again. "Oh," she said.

There was a loaded silence.

"Does it mean what I think it means?" I said.

"Does what mean what you think it means?" Adam asked, as he and Hannah walked back into the living room.

As they sat down, Clare said, "Harlie says that Jill told her she felt the baby move."

Hannah didn't say anything right away, but her face sort of changed.

Adam didn't look immediately as though he understood the significance.

"It's soon, for that," Clare said, in explanation, and Adam sighed, and then nodded a bit.

The room was so quiet, I think you _really_ could have heard a pin drop, as they say.

"She also said something weird, before," I said. "She said, that she didn't think there were good men like

Daniel, and then she met him, and she knew then that her baby would have a good father-"

"Oh, jeepers," Clare said, and I knew she'd reacted without thinking.

"Well, I think this is something that Daniel needs to talk to you about," Adam said. He looked-_uncomfortable._

"Okay," I said. "But, why? _Is_ there something to talk about?" My tone was a bit accusatory.

Clare wrapped an arm around my shoulders. She didn't say anything, but I found it comforting.

"It seems as though Jill has a case of mouth run-on," Brian said.

"Brian-" Hannah protested, mildly.

"Well, it's the truth," Brian said.

"What _is_ the truth?" I asked. I already knew. From my own deducement, and from the way they were all reacting.

But, I wanted them to say it.

"Daniel needs to talk to you," Adam repeated.

"It doesn't matter, I already know," I said, feeling a mounting fury.

"Sweetie-" Hannah began.

"It doesn't matter," I said, again.

"You know that's not true, sugar," Adam said.

He came over to the front of the couch, and reached down and pulled me to my feet.

"Where's Daniel?" he asked, looking around the room. "Anybody know?"

"They were going for a walk," Hannah said.

"This is pourin' gasoline onto the fire," Brian said, standing up. He sounded upset. "I'll find Daniel."

He went out the front door, letting the screen door flap shut.

Again, there was silence for a long, long few moments.

Adam rubbed my back. In an effort, I knew, to comfort me.

"I think I'll go for a ride," I said.

"Just hold on," Adam said. "Daniel can explain things to you."

"Everybody knows," I said, looking at him, and then Hannah and Clare. "Right?"

"No, Harlie," Adam said.

"Just not Guthrie and me, then?" I said. I thought of my time with Ford earlier. I was feeling really blind-sided. Betrayed. Did Ford know? He

hadn't seemed to.

"No," Adam said, again.

"Sit down here," Clare said to me, pulling at my hand. I let myself be pulled down.

"Daniel was going to talk to you-well, to everybody," Hannah said.

I thought of uttering a 'Hmmph' of disbelief to that, but I kept quiet.

"He promised that he would do it soon," Hannah went on.

There were boots scuffing at the door, and Guthrie came in. "What's up?" he asked the room at large. "Brian says

there's a pow wow goin' on."

"Yeah. Come on and sit down, Guth," Adam told him. He motioned to Guthrie, who came over to the couch and sat down

beside Hannah.

I met Guthrie's eyes and he gave me a quizzical expression, asking without words what was going on.

I gave a slight shake of my head.

"Somethin' wrong?" Guthrie persisted.

"No, not wrong, exactly," Adam said.

Again, I wanted to make a smart ass comment. Such as, 'No, Guthrie, we're just left in the dark again', or 'depends on how

you look at it'.

But, I sat, resolved to be quiet. I was so fuming that I was nearly afraid to let go.

More boots scraping at the doorway, and then Daniel came in, with Jill by the hand, and Brian behind them.

Daniel had walked into a charged situation, in that living room. I think Brian had told him what was going on before

they came in.

Daniel paused, one hand on the back of the couch, taking in the room, and its inhabitants.

He sighed and then went to sit in the vacated recliner, while Jill said, "I think I'll go on upstairs."

It figured, I thought darkly. Of course she was going to cut and run. Jill make a quick exit towards the kitchen, and the back stairs.

"Brian says you've figured things out," Daniel began, looking at me and at Guthrie.

"It wasn't hard," I said, in a clipped tone.

"The plan was to tell you about it," Daniel said.

"When?" I said, sarcastically. "When the baby graduated high school?"

Clare squeezed my shoulder, and every adult in that room except Clare gave me an admonishing look.

"What the heck is goin' on?" Guthrie demanded.

Daniel looked at Guthrie, and said, "The baby-it's not mine."

Guthrie stared at Daniel, and then around the room a moment, and then said, "It's not yours?" in a shocked voice.

"No," Daniel said. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and folding his hands together.

"Then, why?" Guthrie asked. "What's all the marriage stuff, then?"

"Because I wanna marry her, Guth," Daniel said. "And, I want to take care of her and the baby."

"Where's the father?" I asked.

Daniel's glance swung to me. "It was a bad situation-he's not gonna be involved."

Brian, obviously agitated, went to the door, and stood, looking out.

"So-you're gonna take on a baby that's not even yours?" Guthrie asked, his tone suggesting that Daniel was

crazy.

"After it's born, it'll _be_ mine," Daniel said.

"I think you're crazy," Guthrie said, slumping back against the couch.

"I know it sounds crazy," Daniel admitted.

"Anything else to spring on us, Daniel?" I asked him, furiously, sarcastically. "I mean, Guthrie and I need to get caught up. We're way behind."

I heard Adam say, "Harlie," to try and rein me in, but my eyes were on Daniel only.

"It wasn't just you and Guthrie," Daniel said, quietly. "Ford doesn't know, and I just talked to Evan about it a little while

ago-"

"So, you were relaying the news in stages," I said. "McFadden by McFadden." I lifted my hands. "See, Guth? Eventually, he would have

had to have gotten to us."

Daniel gave me a look of pure misery. He felt bad, I knew. But, at that point, I _did not care!_ I felt betrayed.

"We made a promise to each other yesterday," I told him. "I _meant_ it, but you obviously didn't."

"I tell you what," Adam spoke up. "I think you kids-and Daniel, ought to talk this out." He held a hand out to

Hannah, who stood up, and Clare promptly followed. They all headed towards the front porch, and Brian was the last

to follow, giving us all a long look.

"They know when to get out," Guthrie muttered, crossing his arms.

"Yeah. They're the smart ones," I said, bitingly.

Daniel was still looking regretful. Solemn.

"Man, Daniel, I don't _get_ you," Guthrie told him.

"I know," Daniel said, sounding resigned.

"If I was gonna do somethin' like this, what would you tell _me?"_ Guthrie demanded.

Daniel hesitated, and then said, "First of all, Guth, you're seventeen. So, my advice to you would be alot different."

"Forget that I'm seventeen," Guthrie insisted. "What would you _say?" _

"Well, I'd say to be sure, very sure, that you loved somebody else enough to put their needs ahead of your own," Daniel

said, quietly.

"You make it sound real simple," Guthrie said.

"It's not simple. It's hard," Daniel said.

He looked towards me. "Squirt?" he prompted.

"What?" I said, close to snapping at him. "What do you want me to say? Congratulations on _however_ you're gonna become

a father? And, thanks ever so much for treating me and Guthrie like we're at the tail end of your concerns? Didn't you think we're

smart enough to _notice_ when the baby arrived like three months before it was due?"

"I had every intention of tellin' you both, and Ford, too," Daniel said.

"Well, thankfully you didn't have to," I said, sarcastically. "Jill decided to do show and tell, so she took that off of you."

"Alright," Daniel said, and now his tone was different. Firmer. "I understand that you're upset, both of you, and you've

got a right to be. But, nothin' is gonna be solved between us, if all you do, squirt, is toss sarcasm bombs at me."

"_You're_ lecturing _me?"_ I accused.

He regarded me somberly, steadily, and I stood up, very suddenly.

"If I say that I'm leaving now, are you gonna try to insist that I stay, and _talk_ some more?" I said.

Still with that same expression on his face, Daniel said, quietly, "No. I won't. Not right now."

"Groovy," I said, again with sarcasm of the old 1970's saying. I stalked past him, in the chair, and Guthrie, on the couch,

and went outside, letting the screen door flap closed.

7


	37. On going

Yeah. So, when I stalked outside, in my fit of fury and frustration, Adam and Hannah were sitting in the porch swing.

Brian and Clare weren't in sight.

I paused, and let out a huge, long breath, and met their eyes.

"Are you alright?" Hannah asked. Which, really-what sort of a question is that? But, what could I say?

"Yeah," I said.

"Come sit down a minute, sugar," Adam told me.

"Do I have to?" I asked. "I mean do I have to, right this minute?"

"I guess not," he said.

"Can I go for a ride?" I asked.

"Where do you plan to ride to?" Adam asked.

"To the canyon, maybe," I said.

"That's a far distance," he said. "How about somewhere that's closer?"

I could tell by the way he said it, that it wasn't really a suggestion at all.

"Alright, I'll just go to the creek," I said.

Adam nodded in agreement, and I went down the front steps and towards the tack shed to get my saddle.

I saddled Charlie, and rode off. I went to the creek, where I left Charlie ground-tied, and sat at the edge of

the water. The breeze blowing in and across the water was a chilly one. I wished that I'd brought a jacket along.

I tossed sticks and rocks into the water, and I don't think it was very long after that, that I heard someone

walking thru the grass.

I only looked because I wanted to make sure it wasn't Daniel. If it was, well, I was going to-well, I wasn't sure, but

I wasn't going to talk anymore at this point.

It wasn't Daniel, but Guthrie. He came and sat down beside me on the grass, gathering up his own

handful of small stones to begin tossing into the water.

For a few minutes, neither one of us said anything.

"Sorry I left you like that," I said. "I had to get out of there."

"I know."

"I don't like the way things keep popping out. It's like a giant onion, that has all this layers to it. You have one peeled

away, and there's more underneath," I said.

"Yep," he said, in agreement, and tossed a rock.

"It's crazy, don't you think?" I asked him.

"I think it's _beyond_ crazy," Guthrie said. I looked to my right at him, feeling so glad at that moment that I had Guthrie-at

least we had each other in this.

"Is he gonna give everything up?" I asked. "His music, and his career, and everything?"

"He says he's not."

"You asked him that?" I asked.

"Sort of."

"What else did he say, after I left?" I asked.

"Just that he hopes we can get where we understand what he's doin'."

We sat in silence for a while longer, and then Guthrie sighed. "We gotta be gettin' back to the house. Hannah said

it'll be time for supper."

We walked back to the house, while I led Charlie. When we got to the barn, I untacked him, and Guthrie went

to put the saddle away for me. We went into the back door to the kitchen, just as food was being set on the table. Crane was

out somewhere, and Evan and Nancy were on their own for supper, so it was a smaller group than was usual.

Guthrie and I both washed up, and sat in our chairs.

"How was your ride-your walk?" Hannah asked us, and I could tell she was trying to make things seem normal.

"Okay," Guthrie said.

"Fine," I said.

I knew I wasn't imagining that Daniel, and occasionally Jill, too, were looking over at Guthrie and I.

After supper, I helped clear the table, but I wasn't on dish duty. As Clare and Daniel began doing the dishes,

I went on and did my shot. Jill had eaten and made another one of her retreats.

I finished my shot, and took an apple from the bowl, and went thru to the living room. I sat there for a while, beside

Guthrie, and we looked at some of the albums that Nancy had gotten done and put together.

Nobody said anything about Daniel, or what had happened earlier. I was relaxing, just a bit, when he and Clare

finished the dishes, and came into the living room. Clare took a seat beside Brian and Daniel sat down on the other

side of Hannah.

I picked up the photos I'd been looking at, and stood up, saying that I had homework to finish.

Everybody said goodnight, including Daniel, who said, quietly, "Night, squirt."

I said a general goodnight, and avoided looking at Daniel.

7

I tried to throw myself into school the next day. I offered to work on an article for the school newspaper, though I regretted it

afterwards. It was going to take some time to write, since it was on the statistics of high school dropouts.

I drove to the vet office, talking to myself the whole way. I was already busy enough, I shouldn't have volunteered for

such a big article.

There was plenty of work at Ivy's that afternoon. The horses that she was boarding there were already staked out, but

I mucked out the stalls, and refilled the water and feed. Ivy got busy with a couple who came in with their poodle, who had

been attacked by a larger dog.

So, I saddled one of the boarding horses, and took him for an exercise ride, and led one of the others behind, so it could

get some exercise, too.

I rode thru the fields out back of the veterinary building, and then took a road on further, that goes out of town a bit.

The road I chose isn't traveled much, since it leads to a private property on a dead end. I went to the end of the road, and

then turned to ride back. I was coming back a different way, on a more traveled street, and a vehicle pulled from around me, and

up beside me.

A whistle had me looking to the right, at Evan's truck. He was at the wheel, and Daniel was on the passenger side, his window down.

"Hey," Evan said.

"Hey," I answered. I pulled the horse to a halt, and Evan braked his truck.

"These some of the horses that Ivy's boarding?" Evan asked, leaning forward to look out Daniel's window at me.

"Yeah."

There was a momentary silence, and I said, "What are you guys doing?" to make conversation.

Daniel was regarding me with a serious expression. Regretful, I thought.

"Came to get feed," Evan said.

"Oh."

"Gonna work with your horse when you get home?" Evan asked me.

"Yeah, I think so," I said.

"Well, if you manage to get him into the corral, ride him in there," Evan cautioned.

I resisted the urge I had to argue. I didn't want to argue with Evan in front of Daniel.

So, I settled for saying, "Okay." I would argue later about it, I thought.

"I was thinkin' we could go for a ride when you get home," Daniel said to me.

I gave him a look, trying to make my expression as blank as possible. A 'ride' actually meant a 'talk'.

"I've got a lot to do," I said, vaguely. "I don't know if I have time today."

When he gave me that same, regretful look, I added, "I've got a test to study for, and I need to work with D.C."

Daniel wasn't fooled. I knew that. He said, still quietly, "We need to talk, squirt."

"Sometime," I said, breezily, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Avoiding it won't make it go away," Daniel said.

Our eyes met briefly, and I looked away, over the top of the truck. "I need to get back," I said.

Evan was looking uncomfortable, pained, as though he was sorry he was a witness to Daniel's attempt at

conversation with me.

"Bye," I said, pointedly, and urged the horse forward.

Evan said goodbye. I didn't hear Daniel say anything. The truck pulled out, and away, and I headed back to the

vet office.

7

When I got home, I went inside to talk to Hannah, and let her know I was home. I went out to try and coax D.C. into

the corral. I managed, surprisingly, to get him into the corral, and I rewarded him with a second apple. I decided to forego

saddling him. I put on a bridle, and called Guthrie over, as he was passing by.

"Give me a foot up, will you?" I asked him.

"Why don't you saddle him?" Guthrie asked, ducking under the corral gate to come over to me.

"I'm gonna try it this way, today," I said. "Come on."

Guthrie obligingly cupped his hands, and helped hoist me up onto D.C.'s back. I rode him around the corral for a bit, cantering, and

walking.

"He's doin' good," Guthrie said, from the spot where he'd been watching.

"Yeah. Better. At least I got him in here by myself today, without Evan's help."

When I was finished, and was beginning to curry D.C. I told Guthrie about seeing Daniel and Evan earlier, and how

Daniel had said he wanted to talk to me.

"You might as well," Guthrie advised. "Just hear him out, and get it over with."

"You've changed your tune," I told him.

Guthrie shrugged. "Not really. I still think he's crazy, but he's in the right about one thing. It's not for us to understand

everything about it. Just support him."

"It's not even about that," I said. "I mean, it _is,_ but it's also about him not telling us."

"He said he was going to."

"When?" I demanded.

Guthrie lifted his hands. "I don't know, Har. That's what he said. Besides, there's nothin' we can do about it, anyway."

"Yeah, but it says something about our relationship," I tried to explain. "He could have told us when he said he was

going to marry her, and that she was going to have a baby. He could have said _right then_ that Jill was pregnant when they met,

and he was going to take care of the baby anyway."

"He could have," Guthrie agreed. "But, he didn't."

"Exactly," I said.

"Man, you're stubborn," Guthrie accused.

"It wasn't right of him," I maintained.

"I understand how ya feel," Guthrie said. "I mean, with you and Daniel always bein' so tight and all." He regarded me

with sympathy. "I'm sorry, Har. I know you're hurt about it."

I felt emotional at Guthrie's sympathy. I gave him a grateful glance.

"Thanks, Guth," I said.

"Maybe you would feel better, if you talked to Daniel, I mean."

"I'd just say something that I shouldn't," I said.

We were interrupted by the call to supper. I went to put my bridle and the currycomb away, telling Guthrie to relay

that I would be in in a few minutes. I wanted to finish my chores first. Time had gotten away from me. I fed the goats, and

went to check on the water and food for the stray pup, who was still staked out in the orchard. I noticed that the rope I'd had tied

to his collar had been replaced by a much longer, much nicer lead.

I stopped at the back door, long enough to crouch down and give Clarence a belly rub.

When I went into the kitchen, everybody was already seated at the table, passing the food. I went to wash up at the

sink, and then went to sit at my spot at the table.

Hannah was asking me about my day, and what I'd done at the vet office. I told her about exercising the horses Ivy

was boarding, and ate my meal of roast with potatoes and carrots.

"How's Kristin?" Crane asked, looking across the table at Guthrie and I.

"I didn't get to really talk to her today," I said.

"She's okay," Guthrie said. "Her mom told Frank to stay away last night so they could talk."

"That's good," Hannah said.

Guthrie shrugged. "One night isn't anything. Her mom will just let him come right back, anyhow."

"She could be emancipated," Jill suggested.

"Is that where she'd be a total legal adult?" Guthrie asked, looking at Jill in interest.

When Jill nodded, and said, 'Yes', Crane spoke up.

"That's not it, exactly," he said. "She'd be responsible for herself, yeah, but she still can't vote, or drink, or quit school."

Guthrie and I exchanged a look and I knew we were both thinking of the fact that Kristin was considering quitting school.

"A parent can sign a teenager out of school, though, right, Crane?" I asked.

"Yeah, they can," Crane said. "Kristin's not thinking of that, is she?" he asked, his forehead wrinkled in disapproval.

I didn't want to rat Kristin out to Crane, since he was the one that she particularly didn't want to know about it. And, besides,

it wasn't as though it was definite.

I settled for saying, "She doesn't know what's best sometimes."

"Well, what's best isn't _that,"_ Crane said. "That's for sure."

I winced a little, hearing the censure in his tone. Even though it wasn't me, I could feel his disapproval. I thought how

formidable he would be, if it were _me,_ suggesting such a thing.

"I think Linda would benefit from a support group, of other women who've been thru what she's going through," Hannah

said. "I wonder if there's anything like that around here."

"There must be," Clare said.

"I should call around and find one for her," Hannah said.

"That's Linda's business," Adam said.

Hannah gave Adam a look. "I'm just saying that it could help her. Some counseling-a support group. Some friendship

and support."

"Friendship and support are good," Adam said. "But, it's up to Linda to decide when and if she wants to go to a counselor or

group."

The air was crackling between them. It wasn't an argument, at least _not yet._ I knew Hannah wouldn't argue, full-out, in

front of everybody.

"My sister took a long time to decide to look for help," Clare said. "Two years of her husband berating her, and then hitting

her, before she decided to leave him and get help."

Jill made a sound from across the table, sort of a cough and gasp all together. When everybody looked her way,

she said, "Excuse me," in a weird voice, and stood up, leaving the kitchen quickly, and going towards the living room.

Daniel's gaze followed her, and then he stood up, too, and followed.

**7**


	38. Respite

A momentary silence followed Jill and Daniel's abrupt departure from the table.

"Maybe she's not feeling well," Clare suggested.

"Maybe," Hannah agreed.

The conversation went on, about other things, ranch-related. I was on dish duty with Crane. After Clare and Hannah

helped clear the table, Crane and I were eventually left alone in the kitchen.

"Wash or dry?" he asked me.

"Wash," I said.

"Okay," he said, and went to retrieve a dishtowel from the drawer.

I began to run hot water into the sink, squirting in some Palmolive dish soap. I began washing glasses, and Crane

rinsed them.

"Trouble between you and Daniel," Crane said. It wasn't a question. It was a statement. His voice was quiet, though.

I gave him a quick look, a bit startled. I don't know why I should have been, given to how close he and Daniel are, but I was.

I shrugged, and went back to my glass washing.

"Not really trouble," I denied.

"What, then?" he asked.

"Hasn't he told you already?" I asked.

"I'm asking _you,"_ Crane said. "And besides, no, he hasn't said anything about you to me. I've got eyes. And ears. It's

obvious you're avoiding him."

"It's a miscommunication," I said.

"Uh huh," he said, obviously waiting for me to continue.

I began washing the silverware.

"Daniel failed to communicate something important," I said, feeling righteous.

"So, in return, you're failing to communicate with him now at all," Crane said.

"I just need some time to think, Crane," I said.

He was silent, and I looked up at him, expecting to see disapproval on his face. It wasn't that, exactly, but he didn't look

pleased, either.

"I have a _right_ to be upset with Daniel," I said, feeling stubborn. "He lied-by omission."

"Yeah. That's right. He did," Crane said, surprising me with his agreement.

I laid a handful of the washed silverware into the other sink to be rinsed. "So you agree with me?" I asked.

"I agree that Daniel could have handled some things better," Crane said. "He knows that already. But, I don't agree

with you not talking to him about it."

"It's only been a day," I objected. "I'll talk to him. Sometime."

"The longer it goes, the harder it will be," Crane said.

"Okay," I said.

"In other words, you want to close the subject," Crane said.

I looked at him to see if he was irritated, but his eyes were soft, not angry.

"Yeah. Please," I said.

"Fair enough," Crane agreed.

After a few minutes of washing and drying the dinner plates, Crane said, "How long has Kristin been thinking of quitting

school?" Just like that.

I swung my face up to him, my wet hands dripping onto the floor. "I never said that," I protested.

"No. You didn't," he agreed.

Our eyes locked. He said no more. He just raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Not very long," I admitted. "Maybe a few weeks."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because-she thought if she started working full time this summer, she could save up enough so that next year she

could go to cosmetology school. She would get her high school equivalency thing."

"Is that what she wants to do? Cosmetology school?" he asked.

I went back to washing the plates. "That's what she said. I don't know if she's really interested in it, or she just thinks it would

be the quickest way to make money."

It occurred to me that I should have asked Kristin that very thing.

"I should have asked her," I said. "I guess I'm not a very good friend."

"You're a good friend to Kristen, peanut," he said. "Don't get down on yourself."

"Thanks," I said. "I know you disapprove of her doing it, but if she does decide to go that way with things, you won't show

her that you don't like it, will you? She especially told me that she didn't want you to think she was a loser."

"I wouldn't think that," he said. "But, I can't promise not to tell her what I think, if it were to come up."

"Oh," I said, feeling subdued. Kristen was going to be really mad at me for spilling it all to Crane.

"I'll be very diplomatic, I promise," Crane said.

I knew he would be that. And kind, too. Still, I figured that I'd better give Kristen a heads up that Crane knew about

the tentative plans she had.

7

Jill came back downstairs later on, but she was real quiet. She sat next to Daniel, holding his hand, and not saying much

unless she was asked a question. Daniel was quiet, too, though he seemed restless.

When I headed up to bed, I had the feeling that there was something else going on. I came out of the bathroom,

after brushing my teeth, muttering to myself.

Brian, who happened to be coming up the stairs at the time, said, "Talkin' to yourself, huh, peach?"

"I guess," I said.

Brian paused there, beside me. He gave me a concerned looking-over, and said, "You're down in the mouth tonight."

I shrugged, meeting his eyes, but not saying anything.

"What is it?" he asked.

"More secrets around here," I said.

"What makes you think that?" he asked.

"The way Jill acted at the table-the way Daniel's so quiet all the time-it's just weird," I said.

"Well-it takes some gettin' used to, that's for sure," Brian said.

I figured that was the closest he was going to get to criticism of them.

7

The next morning, I was scooping stuff into my backpack, preparing to head out for school, when Daniel

came upon me in the living room.

"I was thinkin' that I'd meet you when you're done with work today," he said.

I paused, holding my backpack to my chest, looking at him.

"I thought we might go out and get some supper together," he said. "You can pick the spot."

"Thanks," I said. "But you don't have to."

"I know I don't _have_ to," he said. "I think it would be nice, though."

I was quiet, my thoughts churning. "I don't think we need to have a big talk about anything, Daniel," I said.

"I think we do, squirt," Daniel said, softly.

"You were _wrong,_ Daniel," I said, suddenly. "You were _wrong_ to keep that from us."

"Yeah," he said, immediately. "Yeah, I was. That's why I want to talk to you."

"It's over now," I said, shrugging, and trying to sound nonchalant. "We don't need to go to a restaurant just to talk

about it-" I slung my backpack over my shoulder. "I need to be heading out," I said.

"Hey-" he said, reaching out to catch my wrist to halt me.

"I'll get over it," I said, trying to sound breezy. "You've got other things to worry about. Things way more important

than me and what I'm thinking."

Daniel jaw tightened, and he was looking sort of grim. Two things happened. Jill came out of the kitchen, walking up

to hook her arm thru Daniel's arm. And, i seized my chance.

"See you later," I said, in a general way, and make my exit.

7

After I got done with work at Ivy's, I drove to the Feed and Farm. That's the store that Nancy works at.

I parked and went inside. I like the smell of the store. It's like the smell of honey and oats, and I don't know what all.

Nancy was waiting on a customer, an older rancher from the area that I recognized.

She gave me a cheery wave, and I waved back, browsing around until she was finished.

"Hey there," she greeted me. "What's up?"

"Not much," I said, and then decided to dive in.

"I was wondering something," I said.

"What?"

"Would you care if I spent the night tonight?" I asked.

"No. I wouldn't care," she said.

"Okay. Great. Thanks," I said. "I'll go on home, and gather up my stuff."

"Is something wrong? At the house, I mean?" she asked me, in her direct way.

There was no point to denying it. "I just need-some breathing room," I said.

"You mean-with Daniel and Jill, and all?" Nancy asked, in a low voice.

When I nodded, she said, "Well, sure. It's okay with me if it's okay with everybody else."

I drove home, and went straight into the house, to find Hannah. I hadn't seen any brothers anywhere when I'd driven in.

And, that was fine with me. It was Hannah that I wanted to talk to. I followed the sound of Hannah's voice to the kitchen,

but she wasn't just talking to Clare and to Isaac. Jill was there, too. She was, not surprisingly, holding Isaac on her lap. She

really seemed taken with him.

Clare said hello to me and Hannah turned to smile. "Hullo, sweetie."

"Hi," I said.

"How was your day?" Hannah asked.

"Alright."

"Good. What was next, Clare?" she asked.

Clare leaned over the cookbook in front of her to read aloud. "Baking powder, vanilla-"

Hannah began reaching into the upper cabinets, pulling things down.

"I was wondering if I could spend the night at Nancy and Evan's tonight," I said, addressing myself to Hannah.

Hannah paused, looking at me in surprise. "Tonight? Not on the weekend?"

"No. I mean, yeah, tonight," I said.

She was looking at me, sort of questioningly, and I hurried on. "I thought we could work on the photo albums, maybe, and I'll

do my homework, and all that." I turned more so that I was looking right at her, and Jill wasn't even in my line of vision.

"I just want to go," I said, quietly. And, I knew that Hannah knew what I meant, because her expression changed. From questioning, to

more understanding.

"Well, alright," she said.

"Thanks, Hannah," I said, still quietly.

"Pack all your diabetes supplies," she reminded me.

"Yes," I said, suddenly excited, and just ready to _go._ I went to do my chores, and put the stray pup into a stall, making sure

the door was secure.

I threw together some clothes, and hairbrush and all of that. I slung my bag over my shoulder, and went to the

kitchen to tell Hannah goodbye.

"Are you driving up?" she asked me.

When I nodded she said, "Well, have fun. And don't be late for school tomorrow." _Mom comments._

I promised that I wouldn't, and then I began the hilly drive to the cabin. Once there, I parked my truck out of the

way, and went on into the cabin, using the key on the top of the doorway to unlock the door.

Once inside, I was amazed, as I was nearly every time I came, to see the small changes here and there.

It was a real little honeymoon cottage, I thought. For just a brief moment, I imagined myself living here, years in the future,

with Kenny. It was a nice daydream, until I shook myself out of it. It was silly. Who said that Kenny and I would end up together?

There was already supper, simmering in the crockpot. I sat down at the table to start my homework. I was in the midst of

defining some anatomy terms when Evan came in, his boots scraping on the floor.

"Hey," he said. "What are you doin'?"

"Hey," I said, turning to face him. "I talked to Nancy earlier. She said it was okay if I spent the night."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

He sat down and began to pull his boots off.

"It's okay with you, isn't it?" I asked.

"Yeah, it's okay with me."

"Cool," I said.

Evan finished taking off his boots, and went to set them beside the door. He went to the small refrigerator and took out a

beer. He popped the top, and took a drink.

He washed his hands and began to get out plates and silverware to set the small kitchen table.

"What's that?" he asked me, gesturing to my open book.

"Anatomy and Physiology," I said.

Evan shook his head, and I said, "Did you take it?"

"Are you kiddin'? I was lucky to survive basic science."

"It's a hard class," I said.

"No doubt."

I put my homework away and was helping him set the table, when Nancy got home. The evening was fine. Good. Stress free.

We ate supper and I volunteered to do the dishes, while Nancy got out the scrap booking supplies. We worked on the pictures

for awhile. She had a box here of photos and one down at the house.

Evan sat, working on making reins from paracord, while we did that. We drank hot chocolate, just the packet kind. It wasn't as good as

Brian's homemade, but I found myself relaxing really well.

By the time they went to bed in their small, partitioned off bedroom, and I made up my bed on the couch, I had no

trouble falling asleep.

7


	39. The Confrontation

The next morning Evan made eggs and bacon for breakfast, and I, again did the few dishes.

"You could leave those," Nancy said. "Sometimes, I do that, and then do them later."

"I can do them real quick," I said.

"You don't have to," she said. "You're our guest, not our maid."

We were standing in the tiny kitchen, and she was smiling at me as she said that.

"I don't mind," I insisted.

"Well, I've got to be heading out," Nancy was saying. "We've got inventory to do today."

She and Evan were talking, about whether it was her late night at work and things like that.

I took my opportunity to say, "Thanks for letting me spend the night."

"It was fun," Nancy said. "Having you here. We're really getting alot done on those scrapbooks, too. I'm excited to

show Clare and Hannah."

"Yeah," I agreed. I hung the dishtowel over the faucet. "Would it be okay if I stayed tonight again?"

They both paused where they stood. Evan was silent, but Nancy said, "Are things that bad at the house for you?" in a sympathetic

sort of way.

"It's not that-exactly," I said. "It was just nice last night-not to have to think about it all for a while."

They were both surveying me in total seriousness.

"It's fine if you want to spend another night," Nancy said, and turned to Evan to confirm. "Right?"

"Sure. It's alright," he said.

"Thanks," I said. "I appreciate it. I can make supper. What do you guys want?"

"I was thinking about BLT's," Nancy said.

"Okay. I'll get it started," I said.

Once the door had been locked, and we were all outside, Nancy drove away in her small car. Evan was preparing to

ride the ATV down to the house. I was flinging my backpack and stuff into my truck.

"Hey, Har," Evan said, and I paused beside him.

"It's fine, you bein' here," he began. "But, using stayin' up here as an excuse to avoid Jill and the whole situation-"

"It's Daniel," I interrupted.

"What's Daniel?" Evan asked.

"It's actually Daniel that I'm avoiding," I said, and then was sorry, as Evan looked at me ruefully.

"Well, that's even worse," he said.

I sighed. "I know."

We stood in silence for a couple of moments. I looked at him, thinking he was going to tell me that I shouldn't spend the

night after all-

Only, he didn't. He just said, "Well, see ya later."

"Yeah. See you," I said.

I thought about stopping at the house, real quick, before I went to school, so that I could tell, (or ask) about spending

another night at the cabin.

I had a feeling that it would be viewed as unnecessary by Adam, and Brian-so Hannah, again, would be easier to

get permission from.

I headed off to school, getting there early enough to ask Mrs. Wilson if I could make a quick phone call. As always, she was

businesslike, and seemingly disapproving, though she told me I could.

I called home, figuring that all the guys would be out of the house by now, set about their day of chores.

The telephone rang only twice, and a soft voice answered.

"Hello? McFadden residence," the voice said.

I was fairly certain that our telephone had never been answered in that way before.

"Jill? I need to talk to Hannah," I said.

"I think she's outside hanging some laundry-I can give her a message if you want," she offered.

Like I was going to tell _Jill_ about my plans. Um, right.

I turned my back away from Mrs. Wilson's censoring glance.

"No. I need to talk to Hannah," I said. "Can you go get her, please?"

Jill said okay, and I heard the telephone being laid down.

I tapped my foot, avoiding looking at Mrs. Wilson, while I waited for Hannah to come to the phone.

Her 'Hello, Harlie?' was harried sounding. "Are you alright?"

Of course, her first thought was to go towards my diabetes.

"Yeah, I'm fine-it's nothing like that," I said, quickly.

"Oh, good," she said, sounding relieved.

"Yeah. I was thinking that I might stay up at the cabin tonight again," I said.

There was a long pause. I could feel her thinking.

"Nanc and I were gonna do some more of the pictures and stuff," I added, sort of lamely.

"And, that has to be tonight?" she asked.

"No," I admitted. "But-I'd like to, Hannah. And they both said it was fine with them."

"I'm sure they like having you-" she said, but she sounded reluctant. "There's more to this, though, Harlie-"

"Well, yeah," I said, lowering my voice a bit more. I didn't want to get into anything of that _more stuff_ on the

phone, though.

"Is it okay?" I said.

"I don't know what Adam's going to say," Hannah said, and I heard her sigh. "Alright."

"Thanks," I said.

"Don't forget to do your shot," she reminded me.

"I will."

We said goodbye, and I thanked Mrs. Wilson, and headed to my first class of the day.

7

I completed my day at school, and headed off to work. When I got there, and went inside, the office was

empty, but I could hear voices from the back. I went to peek outside, and was surprised to see our old truck parked.

Crane was standing, talking to Ivy.

I came out, glad to see him. He greeted me with a smile, and a 'Hi, peanut'.

Ivy turned to me. "My truck decided to let me down today," she said.

"Oh, no, what is it?" I asked.

"Crane thinks it's the carburetor," Ivy said.

"So, they went to grab my feed that I needed," Ivy went on, giving Crane a smile.

"That's good," I said, and then thought over that 'they'.

"Who's with you?" I asked.

Crane nodded towards the barn, just as Daniel came out, grabbing another sack of feed from the back of the

truck, and lifting it to his shoulder.

"I've got to change to my work clothes," I said, and headed back inside.

After I'd changed, I went to the office and began tidying up. I took a couple of calls, and began sweeping. While I was

doing that, the squeaky swinging doors opened. Ivy came in and went to get a Coke from the small refrigerator.

"There was a couple of calls," I said, pointing to the desk.

Ivy went over to read over the messages. "It sounds like I'd better head over to the Burton's," she said.

I nodded, and she said, "Do you want to ride with me?"

"I will if you need me," I said. "Or I can stay here and exercise the horses."

"That will be the best, if you would," she said.

I said sure, and then asked her if Crane and Daniel had left. She said they had, and for a moment-just a moment-

I was surprised that Daniel hadn't come inside to try and talk to me again.

I told myself that I was being foolish-that's what I wanted, right? For him to leave me be, and not be trying to

talk things out, all the time?

When Ivy had gone, I finished cleaning, and then took one of the horses out for a ride, leading another. Different ones

from the day before, though.

Ivy had paid me, too, before she left, so I went by the bank to cash the check.

I drove home, stopping only long enough at the house to do my outside chores, and check the stray dog's food and water.

I didn't even go into the house to say hi to Hannah. It was while I was refilling the stray's water that I was surprised

by Jill coming into the barn. I was so surprised at her appearance that I sloshed water all over my shirt and jeans.

"Oh! Hi, Harlie," she said.

"Hi," I said, shortly, setting the water dish down, and brushing at my wet clothes.

She went over to the stall where Pepe is at, and unlatched it, taking him out. "I thought I'd take him out for awhile," she said.

"Uh huh," I said. I patted the stray dog, who began eating the food I'd given him.

I came out, and latched the door, making sure it was secure.

"I think Hannah and Clare are making homemade pizzas tonight," Jill said. "It's sounds so good, don't you think?"

"It does," I said, and then added, "But I'm not gonna be here for supper."

"Going out with Kenny?" she asked.

"No." And, then, even though it was none of her business, I said, "I'm eating with Nancy and Evan."

"Oh," Jill said. She sat down on a nearby bale of hay, holding Pepe on her lap. "You stayed up there last night, didn't you?"

I nodded, and she said, "You must like being up there with them."

I paused, looking at her. Suddenly, I was almost _angry. _ Definitely irritated.

"Of course I do," I said. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I didn't mean anything by it," she said. "I just think it's interesting how you all get along."

I was brushing at my wet clothes and just about to tell Jill that I needed to be going, when she spoke again.

Shocking me. "You're really disgusted by me, aren't you, Harlie?"

Her directness caught me so off-guard that I only stared at her for a long moment.

"What?" I asked. It was on the tip of my tongue to deny it-to say I didn't know what she was talking about-

"You're very upset with me. You think I'm the wrong girl for Daniel," she said, before I could utter another word.

I haven't been speechless very many times in my life before. But, I was right then. I regarded her, all my emotions

jumping around inside of me.

"You don't know what I think," I said, defensively. My only thought right at that moment, was that I wanted to get out of

there. And away. To the cabin where I didn't have to deal with this. I wasn't thinking of telling her that she had a valid point, or taking

the opportunity to have an honest discussion with her.

"I _do_ know what you think," Jill denied. She rubbed her fingers gently over Pepe's fur. "You haven't made any secret of how

you really feel about me."

"I haven't treated you badly," I said, hotly. I wasn't going to let her accuse me of ill-treatment when it wasn't true!

"You haven't," Jill said. "That's true. But, you haven't been nice either, Harlie. You don't accept that Daniel wants to

marry me."

She was talking in a no-nonsense way. Matter of fact.

Suddenly, I'd _had it._ If she wanted to to hear it, honestly, then she would.

"Okay," I said. "I'm _not_ sure if you're best for Daniel. He meets you-and bam! He leaves Tennessee and his music, and

says he's getting married, and that he's going to take care of your baby! He hardly knows you! How can you expect anybody

to just accept it?"

"Some of the family doesn't seem to think that I'm such a terrible person," Jill said.

"I _never said_ that you were a terrible person!" I said, feeling myself getting madder.

"You think it, though," Jill said, quietly. "Don't you?"

"Why are you doing this?" I said, knowing that I needed to stop, _right now._ I was torn between worrying that one of my

brothers might walk in at any moment-and wishing that one of them would.

Jill got up and went to put Pepe away, latching the gate behind her.

"I just know that Daniel would feel so much happier if you and Guthrie were more accepting," she said, standing

right beside me.

"Daniel can do what he wants to do," I said, a trifle self-righteously. "Guthrie nor I have anything to say about it-"

"Of course he can," she agreed. "But, it makes him so sad, that you feel like you do."

I was staring at her, my thoughts bubbling up into words, but she went on. "He's always told me how close you and he

have been. You're not giving him a chance now. You're not doing right by him."

"You can't lecture me about that," I said, furiously. "About Daniel and me! That's none of your business! And-Daniel

shouldn't be talking about us to you!"

Jill sighed. "Okay," she said, quietly.

"Okay, what?" I demanded.

"Just okay," she said. She was looking at me as though she was disappointed or something-

"You started this!" I said. "You want to pick things apart that have nothing to do with you! You didn't have to-you

can just marry Daniel, and have your baby-and not even think of what he's giving up for you! For a baby that's not

even his! No matter who the father is! You've gotten what you were after-just do it! You don't need any blessing from me!"

When I was finished, I was nearly out of breath-my words had come so fast and so furious.

I was further shocked by Jill's next actions, and her words.

She nodded, and said, softly, "Well, there. At least that's been said."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I demanded, feeling as though I was losing at some sort of a game.

"It means that you finally said what you really feel."

"You provoked it," I said. "You say you want to be friends, but you provoked it."

"I _do_ want to be friends, Harlie," she said. "It's _you_ who doesn't."

She sighed again, and then she left the barn. I stood there, literally shaking. I wasn't even sure that what had

just happened had really happened.

7


	40. Words of understanding

I made a quick retreat away from the barn, and the ranch. I just wanted to _go_ before I ran into somebody. I drove up to the

cabin, and, again unlocked the door. I turned on the radio and washed my hands, and cut up tomatoes and lettuce for the

sandwiches. I tried to do some of my homework, but ended with giving up, and sitting outside in one of the lounge chairs.

I heard Evan's four-wheeler roaring up the hill. He parked and shut it off, walking over to the front of the cabin.

"Hey," he greeted me.

"Hey."

As he opened the door to prepare to go inside, I said, "I did the tomatoes and lettuce. I didn't start frying the bacon yet."

"It's okay. I'll do it." He went inside, leaving the door open, and I could hear him puttering around. Opening and closing things.

Water running.

He stepped back out, halfway in and halfway out, drying his hands on a towel. "How much bacon, you think? Think we'll

eat a pound? How hungry are you?"

I shrugged. "I'll eat one sandwich, probably. But, you can keep it for leftovers."

"Yeah," Evan said, in agreement, and went back inside.

After a couple of minutes, I got up, and went in, too.

I began clearing off my homework from the table. "Is Nanc gonna be late?" I asked.

Evan gave a glance at the clock above the stove. "Another hour or so, maybe. Depends on if they get done with the inventory

sooner."

I stacked my books and stuff in a neat pile, and went to get plates out, beginning to set the table for three.

"You're not ditchin' your homework, are ya?" he asked me, laying slices of bacon in a frying pan.

"No."

"I don't wanna be in Dutch with Crane for not makin' sure," he added, straightening the bacon with a fork.

"I'm doing it," I said, shortly.

As I went to get out silverware from the drawer, he said, "I'm just jokin' with you."

I gave him a quick look. "I know."

"Okay," he said, and went back to frying the bacon.

I was finished with the silverware and getting out glasses when he said, "You plan on goin' back to the house sometime

soon?"

He said it in an off-hand way. Not mean or rude or anything. But, he was also serious about the question.

I still felt all prickly, from my encounter with Jill. So, I answered in a 'prickly' manner.

I paused and looked at him, a glass in each hand.

"You said I could stay," I reminded him. "If you've changed your mind-then just say so, and I'll go-"

"Oh, knock it off," he said, curtly.

I set the glasses down, and said, defensively, "I know I'm crowding you and Nanc-I just wanted to stay another night-"

Evan turned from the sizzling bacon. "And I _said_ it was okay."

Still prickly, I said, "I can go if you want-"

"I asked you a question, that's all," Evan said, pointedly. "I _want_ you to stay. I'm just concerned. Now, stop with the princess attitude

before I kick your butt."

Our eyes locked, and I swallowed down the rest of my mouthy tirade. He meant it.

I looked away, and went to sit in the nearest chair at the small kitchen table. "I will tomorrow," I said. I met his gaze again. "Go back

to the house, I mean."

Evan wrinkled his forehead. "Is it that you just can't accept Daniel gettin' married that's bothering you?"

"I don't think it's that," I said.

"It's the shock of it, then?" he asked.

I nodded. "I guess. And, I don't understand why he would want to do it-take care of her baby, I mean."

Evan turned the slices of frying bacon over. When he was quiet, I asked, "Doesn't it bother you at all?"

"It bothers me some," Evan admitted. "But, I figure Daniel has his reasons."

"Yeah," I said. I watched as he laid the cooked bacon on a plate.

"Things are so messed up," I said.

At his questioning look, I added, "Jill and I had-well, sort of a fight, I guess. And, she's probably gonna tell Daniel

about it, and then he's gonna be really upset with me."

"Sounds like you really do need to talk to him, and pretty quick, too," Evan said, mildly. Not, I realized, asking me what the fight was about, or

if it had been my fault or Jill's.

I sighed. "I guess so."

After that, we didn't talk about Daniel, or Jill, anymore. We were sitting and looking thru the boxes of old pictures together,

when Nancy got home. After that, we sat down to eat. Nancy was regaling Evan and I with tales of the craziness of inventory at

the store, when we were surprised by knocking at the door.

"I didn't hear anybody drive up," Evan said, getting to his feet. "It's Adam," he added, walking towards the door.

I felt my stomach do sort of a loop-de-loop of nervousness.

Evan pulled the door open, gesturing to Adam to come inside. "Hey-come on in," he said.

"Hey," Adam said, in greeting. He stepped in, and Evan said, "We're just now eatin'. Wanna join us?"

"Yes," Nancy added, in invitation. "BLT's, Adam. Come on."

"Sounds good," Adam said. "But Hannah's gonna have supper on in a bit."

"Didn't hear you drive up," Evan said, looking outside.

"I walked up," Adam said.

He looked over at the table where Nancy and I still sat, and looked right at me.

"I came up to talk to Harlie," he said.

I felt my stomach jump again. Thoughts were running thru my head so fast. Had Jill run whining to Daniel, or to Adam, even?

Or-was it something else?

His eyes were fastened on me across the small room, and so were Evan's now. Nancy glanced to the side at me.

"Well, sure," Nancy said. "Harlie, go on and talk-Adam, I'll make some coffee. You'll have some, won't you?"

I knew Nancy could feel the crackle in the air, and was trying to ease it.

"I won't turn it down," Adam told her, smiling slightly.

He looked at me again. "Let's go outside," he said. He said it quietly, but I could tell that he was bothered-that he was in an

intense mood.

I stood up, and walked towards he and Evan. Adam opened the door, and let me pass in front of him.

Once we were outside, Adam pulled the door closed, and we stood there for a couple of moments.

"Let's go sit over here," he said, and walked to where my truck was parked, letting down the tail gate. He sat down, and I

hoisted myself up to sit down, too.

I twisted my hands together, picking at the cuticle on my thumb.

Adam turned so that he was facing me more, and said, then, without preamble, "What's goin' on?"

I blinked at his directness.

I _knew_ just what he meant. There was no point to pretending that I did not. Still...

"Nancy and Ev said I could stay-her and I were gonna work on the scrapbooks again-" I began.

"Harlie," Adam interrupted me, mid-word.

I was quiet, looking at him.

"I know all that. I know what you told Hannah," he said. "I'm asking, 'what's going on', that you decide to stay up

here for two nights, mid-week?"

I licked my lips a little. "I just needed a break."

"From the 'Jill and Daniel' drama, is that right?" he asked.

Hearing him say it like that, as if he too thought of it as 'drama', encouraged me a little.

I nodded in response to his question, waiting for him to continue.

"I can understand that," he said, and I was encouraged further.

"And, it was real nice of Nancy and Evan to let you do that," he added.

"Yeah," I agreed.

"As nice as it was, though, there's a limit to everything," Adam said.

I felt my face get hot.

"We're not to the point yet, are we, that you _don't want_ to be at home?" he asked. He was serious as a heart attack,

and yet I could tell he was trying to be patient. Trying to understand.

"No," I said, feeling even worse. I didn't want Adam thinking _that. That I didn't want to be at home at all._

"Well, that's good," he said.

There was a longer silence then. Only a few moments, really. But, it felt longer.

"This isn't a long-term solution, though. You staying up here. It's fine for a night or two here and there, but it's not

the answer to this particular situation, Harlie."

"I know," I admitted.

"So, what can we do here, with all of this?" he asked then. "To make it better for you?"

Those words, and the way that he said them-he was being so _kind,_ and I could tell that the whole thing was bothering him.

Well, all of that made me feel emotional. It wasn't as though I had far to go to get to that point, anyway.

I looked down at my hands, feeling tears welling up in my eyes. "Oh, Adam," I said.

"What?" he asked, misunderstanding my 'oh, Adam' comment.

"You're being so nice," I mumbled.

"I'm trying to understand, Harlie," he said.

I looked up, and met his eyes. "I'm upset with Daniel," I said. "And, it _upsets_ me to feel that way-"

Adam was quiet for a moment, and then nodded. "I understand that. It's painful to be at odds with somebody

that you love a whole lot."

"If i ask you a question, will you answer?" I asked.

"I'll sure try to."

"Between you and me-do you understand what Daniel is thinking?"

Adam hesitated, and then sighed a bit. "Somewhat, I do. Understanding where somebody's feelings and thoughts are at, though, doesn't

always mean that you agree wholeheartedly with what they're doing."

I studied him, wondering if he meant what I thought that he did.

He answered that in his next statement. "I worry for Daniel. He leads with his heart sometimes. You and him are alot alike in

that way."

I widened my eyes at that. He smiled slightly. "It's true," he said.

He turned serious once again. "The fact remains, though, that Daniel's grown, Harlie. His decisions are his decisions to make." Adam

gave me a stern look. "It's not for you to decide for him, whether you think he's right or he's wrong. He's made his choices. He needs

our love, and our support."

I was suddenly, horribly embarrassed. Ashamed of myself for my behavior towards Daniel. Adam was right. So _right._

I nodded in agreement to what he'd said.

"As far as him not tellin' you all right out of the gate about the baby not bein' his-well, that was his decision, too. And he

might should have done the telling of things better than he did, but it's done now. Dwelling on it isn't gonna make

it any different. You can tell him how you feel about it, though."

"I did," I said.

"Well, the only way to go on is forward," Adam said. "Have a long talk with Daniel. You might feel some better."

I bit at my lower lip, in thought, and nodded.

"Okay," he said. He regarded me thoughtfully. "Your feelings are important. Guthrie's, too. You're both entitled to them.

I don't want you to feel that that's not true," Adam said.

I swallowed past the lump in my throat. "I haven't handled everything right," I admitted.

"Well, it's been a jolt to everybody, I think," he said. "Things said that shouldn't have been, things that weren't said that

should have been-like I said, there's no way to go on except forward from here."

"Okay," I said, really softly, looking at him. Still feeling emotional.

"Okay," he echoed. "I want you to remember one thing, alright? A baby that comes into a family-no matter the biology,

or how he or she first comes about-well, they're just naturally real easy to love."

He paused to let that sink in, and then he stood up, and so I followed, scooting off of the tailgate.

Standing there together, he said, "Are you doing your shot?"

I nodded, and he said, "And your homework? You're keepin' up with that?"

"Yes," I said.

"I know-I'm makin' it sound as though you've been gone for a week or more," Adam said, ruefully, with

a slight smile.

We walked back towards the cabin, and at the door, I paused, "Should I get my stuff?" I asked him.

"Hmm?"

"I thought you were going to say that I needed to come home," I told him.

"Well-" Adam began.

Evan opened the door and stepped out. "Everything okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, I think so," Adam said. "Harlie and I were discussing whether she was going to stay tonight or not."

Nancy stepped up beside Evan. "Oh, Harlie, you can still stay," she said.

I hesitated, and Nancy said, "We want you to stay, don't we, Evan?" And, I could tell that she meant it, too.

Evan and I exchanged an look of shared understanding, remembering our talk earlier. "Har knows she can stay, if she wants," Evan said, simply.

I looked up at Adam. "It's up to you," he said. "You can stay tonight if you want. But, then tomorrow you come home."

I hesitated, thinking. I knew I had to talk to Daniel. And soon, too. But, it might be good, if I could collect my

thoughts and try to rein in my emotions a bit more first.

"I'll be home right after work tomorrow," I said.

7


	41. Easing in

Adam stayed for a few minutes after that. He sat down at the table, and had a cup of coffee, while we finished eating.

After a few minutes, he got to his feet, and scooted his chair up to the table. "I'd better be getting back down," he said.

I ended up following Adam to the door. He gave me a hug, and said, quietly, "See you tomorrow afternoon, then, right?"

"Yeah," I agreed.

He nodded, and then said, 'Night', to all of us.

Evan and Nancy said goodnight, and Adam stepped outside, as a sudden thought occurred to me.

"Will you be alright, walking down?" I asked, stepping out after him.

In the porch light, I saw his expression. He looked amused.

"I think so, yeah," he said, lightly.

"Well-" I said, in explanation. "It _is_ nearly dark."

"I'll be fine," he said. "Do your homework, alright?"

"Okay," I said.

He disappeared into the near-darkness, and I went back inside.

7

Ivy did some minor surgery on a cat the next afternoon. An infected tooth extraction.

She let me assist her, and I was glad I'd tied my hair back because I had to lean forward a lot. Ivy made a small incision,

and removed the infected tooth. She showed me step by step how she sutured the extraction site.

"He'll feel better now," she said, when she was finishing up.

"Mrs. Viner sure loves this old cat," I said.

"She does," Ivy agreed.

"Is he going to spend the night?" I asked.

"Ordinarily he wouldn't need to. But, since it's so late in the day, I told her that it would be best. She can pick him up

in the morning."

I was helping to clean up, when we heard the bell jingling over the door at the front.

"I'll go," I offered.

Up front, I was surprised to see Zach Brady standing there. Ever since he and I had words about Pepe, and the whole

fiasco of the skunk biting his sister, and all of that, he and I haven't had a whole lot to say to each other. He'd never tried to

ask me out again, or anything like that. We aren't uncivil, just aloof from one another.

Still, this was Ivy's office. He must have veterinary business here or he wouldn't have come in.

So, trying to appear professional, I said, "Hi, Zach."

"Hey, Harlie," he said, giving me a lazy grin.

"What can I do for you?" I asked.

"It's what _I can do for you,"_ he corrected, as if he was being terribly clever or something.

I raised my eyebrows in an attempt to show that I was waiting.

"You still have that dog?" he asked. "That stray that you put up the flyers about?"

Surprised, I said, "Uh huh."

"He over at your place?"

I thought about saying, 'no, he's on the moon', or something sarcastic, but restrained myself. I really didn't care for Zach much.

"Yeah."

"Well, I might be willin' to take him off your hands," Zach said.

"Really?" I asked, still feeling surprised.

"Yeah. I was thinkin' I might head over to your house and take a look at him."

"I'm not gonna be finished here for another hour," I said. "You'd have to wait until after that."

"Can't I go on over?" he persisted.

"No. I need to be there," I said, firmly.

"Okay. How about around five or so?" he asked.

"Okay." I studied him. "Is your family okay with you bringing home a dog?"

Zach grinned a silly grin as if he thought that was a dumb question.

"Sure. Why not?" he asked.

"Well-there was that incident with your sister, and the skunk," I reminded him.

"A skunk ain't a dog, Harlie," he told me. "I'll see you around five, then."

He went out, and I watched him go and get into his truck, feeling a vague unease. Ivy came up from behind,

looking out as well.

I told her about what Zach had said, and she nodded. "Will he give the pup a good home, do you think?"

"I'm not sure," I admitted. "I don't really like him much."

Ivy nodded again, looking sympathetic.

7

I drove straight home after work, and went into the house. I don't know why, but it felt as though I hadn't been

there in forever. The somewhat shabby living room looked comfortable and welcoming. I set my backpack on the

couch and went to the kitchen. It was empty, but there was something bubbling in the two large crock pots, and I

could smell bread baking.

I opened the door to the basement, and could hear sounds from below. I went downstairs, and found Hannah

folding clothes on the long folding table.

When I said hi, she looked up and smiled at me. As in a 'genuinely glad to see me' sort of smile.

"Sweetie! It's good to see you," she said.

"You, too," I said. I came on down the rest of the stairs, and automatically reached for some of Isaac's small

shirts to start folding them. "Where's Isaac? Sleeping?"

"Clare's giving him a bath. He was outside with Brian earlier, and he got good and dirty."

"I bet he had fun," I said.

"He did. How was your time, up at the cabin?" she asked.

"It was good." I studied her, knowing full well that she knew that Adam had come up to talk to me the evening before. "Where's

Jill?" I asked.

"She's resting, I think. She helped us in the kitchen this morning, putting down some new shelf paper. I think she's

worn out."

"Oh."

"Did you bring home your diabetes supplies?" she asked.

"Nancy was gonna bring it when she comes down for supper. She said so I didn't have to carry it around all day."

"That was a good idea," Hannah said.

"I'd better get to my chores," I said. I told Hannah about Zach coming by, and went outside. I fed the goats and the

cats, and the dogs, and then went to check the dishes for the stray pup. He was already staked out, somebody had done

that. More than likely it had been Brian. He was excited, and jumping around, but not yipping constantly. He seemed to have

settled down a bit.

I saw, from where I was, Jill come out of the house, and down the front steps, going to the barn.

Going to see Pepe, I figured. I had to admit, she had definitely been giving Pepe the attention that he needed. It still made

me feel jumpy, seeing her. But, since I wasn't able to take off for the cabin anytime soon, I just had to figure out a way to

face it. I heard the jeep roaring in, and brothers began to be visible. Jill came to the doorway of the barn, holding Pepe, and

Daniel went to talk to her.

Brian raised a hand to wave at me, and I waved back. After a few minutes, he walked across the yard, and to the orchard.

"Hey, peach," he greeted me. The dog immediately got to his feet at the sight of Brian.

"Hi," I said, looking up at him, from where I was sitting, cross-legged on the ground, beside the dog.

"Decided to come home, huh?" he asked, but he smiled when he said it, and I knew he was only kidding around.

"I figured you were missing me too much," I said, joking in return. "I didn't want you to be sad."

"Oho," he said. He crouched down and began to scratch the ears of the pup.

"He sure does like you," I said.

"He's settled down a good bit."

"Someone is coming to look at him in a while," I said.

"Oh, yeah? You found a place, huh?"

"Well, maybe. It's Zach Brady."

At Brian's blank look of non recognition, I said, "You know. The kid who took Pepe, and then gave him back the

next day-"

"Oh. The football star," Brian said.

"Well, he thinks he is, anyway," I said.

"Well, good," Brian said. He rubbed the pup's another time. "That you found a place for him, I mean."

"It's not definite. And, Zach's a jerk," I said.

"You don't have to be a member of his fan club for him to take the dog, do you?" Brian asked.

"No," I admitted.

A roaring of a truck, and here came Zack, driving way too fast up the driveway.

"Here comes the bundle of jerk now," I said, sarcastically, standing up.

Zach parked and came striding towards us, in his usual cocky way. I saw Guthrie approaching, and I figured he

was curious about what Zach was doing there.

Zach greeted Brian in a careless fashion, and reached out to pet the dog.

"This is him, huh?" he said.

"Yes. It's him," I said, shortly.

"How old is he?"

"We're not sure. Ivy says about seven months or so-"

"So, he's gonna get way bigger then, huh?" Zach asked.

"I guess," I said.

"What's he like? Is he too friendly?" Zach asked. "Or aggressive?"

"How can a dog be _too friendly._ Zach?" I asked, in irritation.

"He's not aggressive," Brian said, answering for me. "He's not good around livestock, though. He'd need some work

before you turn him out around cattle-"

"Naw," Zach interrupted. "No worries on that. He won't be around any."

He gave the dog another pat, and said, "Yeah. I'll take him. Can I keep the leash and stuff?"

I looked at Brian. I knew he'd gone out and bought the longer lead for the pup, to replace the rope we'd been

using.

"No-" I began to answer.

"It's alright," Brian said.

"But, you bought it," I protested.

"It's fine," Brian said. "He'll be happier with a longer lead."

Brian helped get the pup ready to go, and Zach began leading him towards his truck.

I petted the dog, and Brian gave him a final rub.

As Zach loaded him, and then drove past us, leaving, the dog was sitting in the seat, looking out the window at

Brian, adoringly.

7

When I went inside, Hannah said it was going to be a bit before we ate, so I went on and took a shower, and

got redressed in a pair of cut off shorts and a t-shirt that proclaimed that Elvis Presley is the King.

I was sitting in the living room, with my homework spread out around me, on the couch, when Crane and Daniel

came in, followed by Adam.

"Something sure smells good," Adam said. "Hey, sugar," he greeted me.

"Hey."

Crane paused beside the couch. "Lots of homework?" he asked me.

"Yeah. Too much," I said.

"Grades okay?" he asked.

"I think everything's good."

Crane nodded, and went to the desk to begin sifting thru papers.

"The pup left," I told Adam.

He looked surprised. "He did?"

"Yes. Zach Brady took him."

"Well, that's good, huh?" Adam asked.

"I guess," I said. "I would rather someone other than Zach had offered."

"Maybe they'll be a good match," Adam said.

"I hope so."

Adam headed off to the kitchen. Daniel was standing there, too, and he went to sit in the chair to the side

of the couch. He began pulling off his boots.

"Maybe I took it upstairs," Crane was saying, still sifting thru the papers. He headed up the stairs.

Left alone with Daniel then, I swung a look at him.

"Did Crane lose something?" I asked, in attempt at conversation.

"Yeah. I think he did," Daniel said.

I watched as he went on, pulling off his boots. As he was setting them neatly next to each other, I spoke up

quietly. "Daniel?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry that I haven't been talking to you," I said.

Daniel looked up at me. If he was surprised at my approaching the subject, he didn't show it.

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and folding his hands.

"I wish that you would. Talk to me, I mean," he said.

I swallowed past the lump in my throat. "Okay," I said.

Our gazes met, and held. "I've mucked things up really badly," he said. "Telling stuff in bits and pieces. I apologized

to Ford and Guthrie for that. I want to apologize to you for it, too. It should have come out at the beginning. All of it."

"I guess I was hurt," I admitted. "We'd just talked about trying harder, and then it comes out about the baby-" I let my voice

trail off.

"I know," Daniel said, sounding regretful. "Jill-well, and me, too, we thought it might be easier for everybody to

accept, if we waited a while-" He sighed. "That was a mistake,"

I remembered what Adam had said, just the night before, about how a baby is so easy to love.

Before we could say anymore to each other, Jill came from the kitchen, carrying Isaac.

"I thought I heard your voice," she said, to Daniel. "I helped give Isaac a bath today," she said, in a really excited

way.

I reminded myself that she'd never been around babies much, as she'd said, so she was enjoying the daily care of

Isaac. And, Isaac did really seem to like her.

"That's great," Daniel said, standing up to greet her, and putting a hand on her waist.

"Good practice, hmm?" Jill said to him, smiling.

"Right," he said.

Her glance flickered to me. It was the first time we'd been face to face since our tete-a-tete in the barn.

"Hi, Harlie," she said.

"Hi."

It felt stilted. Uncomfortable. And, Daniel's not stupid. Or obtuse. He had a quizzical look on his face. I figured

that he knew there was something going on between Jill and I. Still, she obviously hadn't complained to Daniel

about anything I'd said in the barn to her, or else he would surely have mentioned it.

Clare came to the door leading from the kitchen to the living room. "Supper's on," she announced.

Jill turned back with Isaac in her arms, and headed to the kitchen. I pushed my books and papers off my lap

and stood up.

"Hey," Daniel said, quietly, and I paused beside him.

"I still wanna talk to you. There's a couple of other things-that you should know. That might help in understanding."

"Oh," I said, looking at his dark eyes. I felt a little apprehensive at what he was saying. Still, I _did_ want to know

anything that might help me to understand.

"I need to go to Oakdale sometime. Maybe on Saturday, you can ride along," he suggested. "How about that? Give us a chance

to talk."

"Jill, too?" I asked. I mean, I would rather not, but-

"No. I'll see if she can hang out with Clare or somethin'. It'll be us-unless Guthrie wants to come along."

"That would be okay," I said. "I mean, if he wants to."

"Okay," he said. "It's a plan."

7


	42. Update coming soon

To everybody who is wondering about an update on this story, I am so sorry it's been so long! My husband retired and so there's been that adjustment, and

my dad's COPD is progressing and he has been feeling rough lately. And...we went across the country to the East Coast to be there for our youngest grandbaby's

first birthday party! Anyway... I hope to update this week! thank you


	43. Moments

The next day was Friday. I woke up with a dull headache. Not pounding. But, very definitely _there,_ above my eyes. I went to the bathroom and

swallowed two Tylenol, and then got dressed.

Downstairs, I ate oatmeal, and drank some juice, trying not to let on that I didn't feel the greatest.

I headed off to school, sighing a bit when I was on my way, driving down the driveway. Nobody had seemed to notice my

lack of conversation. Even Adam, who had walked out with Guthrie and I, as usual, only gave me a smile and his customary remark to

have a good day.

At school, my headache persisted for the first two class hours. By third hour, it was lessening, and I happened to see

Zack passing as I headed outside for lunch. I halted, my lunch tray in my hands.

"How is the pup doing?" I asked him.

Zach, holding his own tray, with a monstrous amount of food piled on it, seemed impatient.

"Fine," he said, shortly.

"He's settling in alright?" I asked.

"It's only been one night, Harlie," Zack said, as if I needed reminding.

"I know," I said. "I just want to know how he is, that's all."

"He's fine, like I told you," Zach said.

As we separated, each heading to different areas of the school courtyard to eat, I felt irritated, though I wasn't sure just why.

**7**

At work that afternoon, Ivy was quiet, and seemed distracted. Finally, I asked her, while we were restocking some of the

shelves with medicines.

"Is everything okay?" I asked her, quietly.

She turned to look at me, and I went on. "I mean, you seem as though something is bothering you."

"It's my parents," Ivy said, pausing, with a bottle in each hand. "They both seem to be declining in health at the same time. It's-" she

hesitated. "Really worrisome to me."

"I'm sorry," I said, feeling bad for her.

Ivy sighed a bit, and returned to her task of stocking the shelves. "I'm just trying to decide what to do."

"What do you mean?" I asked, handing her another bottle, and feeling uneasy by her comment.

"There's only me," Ivy said. "I have an aunt that lives near to them, but she's nearly as old as they are, so she can't be

their sole caretaker."

_It sounded as_ _though-_ I felt my stomach sort of sink.

"Are you thinking of going back? To where they live?" I asked.

"I'm not sure." Ivy sighed again, and turned to look at me. "It depends on what arrangements I can make for them, and all

of that."

I guess she saw that I looked sort of shocked, or whatever, because she patted me on the arm, and said, "It probably won't come

to that, Harlie. At least I'm hoping not."

She looked so worried, and down, that I felt guilty about my own feelings. I would miss Ivy, and I wouldn't have a job any longer, if

she was to leave. There wouldn't be a vet here any more. At least until another was hired. _And,_ her and Crane-well, of course I

was of the wishing and mindset that I wanted them to continue as a couple. Ivy leaving would affect all of that. Still, all of those were

selfish thoughts on my part. Especially when she was worried about her parents.

While I was driving home from work, my headache returned, and I found myself myself thinking about how tough it would be, in situations

like Ivy's, to be an only child. Being all alone for the most part. When Ivy's parents passed away, she would be like an _orphan._ Alone in the world,

except for an elderly aunt. Well, and Crane, if she and he were still together at that time.

I got home and went on and did my outside chores, before I headed inside. I planned to spend a few extra minutes with Pepe, but his

stall was empty. The door to the stall was just slightly ajar, and I began to panic. How had he gotten out? Maybe the door hadn't gotten

closed properly. My first accusatory thought went to Jill. And the possibility that she hadn't closed the door, and Pepe had waddled his way out,

and scurried away. To impending doom.

I broke into a run, looking around the corners of the barn, and other buildings for Pepe. I was still running, when I saw Crane and

Brian driving up thru the pastures in the Jeep. They parked and I stopping running, a few feet from them, as Brian switched off the

ignition.

"Pepe's gone!" I said, breathlessly.

"Are you sure?" Brian asked, still sitting in his seat, as Crame climbed out of the Jeep.

"Of course I'm sure!" I said. "The door's open to the stall-"

"Likely he's not far," Brian said, calmly, getting out.

"He could be miles!" I huffed. "Probably Jill didn't close the door when she put him back in!"

"Now, peach-" Brian began to reason with me.

"I mean it!" I insisted.

"I know you do," Brian said, mildly, giving me 'the eye'.

"Don't be accusing, when you don't know," Crane told me, also quietly, in caution.

"Ugh," I said, turning away to let my eyes scan the yard, hoping to see Pepe.

"We'll give you a hand, looking for him," Brian said.

"Why don't you go and see if Jill did have him out sometime today?" Crane suggested. "Maybe she's still holding him, and there's no need

for any upset."

"I'll go see," I said, a bit grimly, as I turned to head to the house.

"No accusing," Crane called out, after me. "Be nice."

"I don't see why you have to tell _me_ to be nice," I said, without turning around. "Somebody should tell _her."_

"Harlie!" Brian called. Warningly, I knew.

I went inside, thru the back door. Jill was sitting at the table, shredding lettuce, while Hannah stood on a chair, reaching into

the top shelf of the cabinet.

"You're home," Hannah greeted me.

"Yeah," I said, and immediately I turned to Jill. "Did you have Pepe out?" I demanded.

Jill looked a bit startled. "Earlier I did. Why?"

"He's gone," I said, shortly. "The door was left open."

"Gone?" she said, looking upset. "I'm sure I shut the door-"

"How long ago did you put him away?" I asked.

"I'm not sure," Jill said, looking as though she was thinking. "I think it was about an hour ago-"

"He's probably long gone," I said, and turned to go back outside.

"Harlie-" I heard Hannah say, but I was already outside.

I spent the next hour searching for Pepe. Brian and Crane helped, and so did Guthrie. It was later-when Guthrie found

Pepe in the feed shed, eating from a sack of cat food. Happy as-well, happy as a skunk eating cat food.

"We'd already looked in there," I said. "He wasn't in there before-"

"All that matters is that he's been found," Crane said.

I took him from Guthrie, searching him over. "Is he okay?" I asked.

"He's perfectly fine," Brian said. "Not a hair out of place."

Gathered there, in a circle, we saw Daniel and Jill walking towards us. Jill looked frazzled. Upset.

"Found him, huh?" Daniel said.

"Yeah. In there, eatin' cat food," Guthrie reported, nodding towards the feed shed.

"See? I told you they'd find him," Daniel said, setting a hand on Jill's waist.

"I'm sure I latched the door," Jill said, looking distressed.

"It's alright," Daniel was saying.

I pressed my chin against Pepe's head. I was silent. Crane said, again, "He's been found. Everything's fine."

Jill looked as though she was going to up and cry. "I like him-I'd feel so badly if something were to happen to him-"

"Nothing's happened to him," Brian said, sounding firm. "Except that's he's led us all on a chase."

Jill still looked distressed, and Daniel was looking at me. I knew that look, and what he meant by it. He wanted me to

say something. To show that I was not blaming Jill.

Brian pressed a hand on the center of my back. He said nothing, but I knew what that touch meant, too.

It took an effort from me. But I managed to say, "I guess he had an adventure."

"Yeah. He sure did," Brian agreed.

With a supreme effort, I held Pepe out to Jill. "You want to put him away for the night?" It was the thing that I thought would most

show that I wasn't holding a grudge.

Her eyes met mine, and lit up. She nodded, and held out her hands to take Pepe from me.

"Thanks, Harlie," she said, sounding grateful.

I shrugged. "Sure."

As we were heading inside, I passed in front of Brian, who was holding the door open for me.

I swung my eyes up to his, and he gave me a wink.

7

Kenny showed up, right about the time we were sitting down to eat supper. He'd mentioned at school that day that he might

come over, if he could, but it hadn't been anything definite. I went to the front door to open it to greet him, happy to see him.

He squeezed my hand, and I led him inside, to the kitchen, where he was greeted by the rest of the family, and Brian and Clare

scooted over to make room so that he could sit between me and Guthrie.

"Pull up a chair, Ken," Brian said.

After we'd eaten, Kenny and I went out to sit on the front porch in the swing. I told him what had happened with Pepe earlier, and then

we talked about his dad, and how he was doing with his treatments, and all. We sat out there until he was nearly dark, and Hannah

appeared at the door.

"We're having some pie, Kenny," she told him.

"Thanks, but I guess I'd better be gettin' on," Kenny told her. Before he left, we were standing beside his truck, and he kissed

me quickly. "We might go see my grandma Sunday afternoon," he told me. "Do you think you might be able to go this time?" _He was referring to_

_the last time he and his parents had invited me to go along with them to visit his grandmother, and go out to eat. I'd either been gone a lot lately or_

_had had a diabetes incident, I couldn't remember which, but Adam had said that I couldn't go, since it's so far, and I wouldn't have been home_

_until real late._

"I'll talk to Adam," I said. "The only thing is-he might say since it's a school night, that I would be out too late. What time do you think

we might be home?"

Kenny considered, and said, "We were gonna leave mid-morning, and then the drive-and Mom generally wants to stay about

two hours to visit. So with dinner and everything, maybe we'd be home by ten or so."

"I'll ask him," I said, again. "I really would like to go with you."

After Kenny had gone, I headed back inside, once his truck reached the end of our driveway.

I went to the kitchen to do my shot, and swallowed a couple of Tylenol from the windowsill while I was at it. I still had the

dull nagging of a headache. I ate a snack of grapes and some crackers, sitting at the table. It was quiet in the kitchen, but I

could hear the voices and occasional laughter of the family from the living room.

Adam came in while I was sitting there, snapping on the main light. I'd had only the kitchen sink light on.

"Hey," he said. "Why're you sitting in here by yourself?"

I shrugged. "No reason. Just eating a snack."

Adam went over to the coffee pot and poured himself a cup. It's always amazing to me that no matter how much coffee Adam drinks,

or how late he drinks it, it never keeps him awake at night.

I watched him do that, and then I spoke up tentatively, "Adam?"

"Hmm?"

"Kenny asked me to go with him and his parents on Sunday to visit his grandma. And go out to eat. Remember when he asked

me before?"

"I remember," he said, turning to face me, leaning against the counter.

"I was wondering if I could go," I said.

"They be back fairly late, probably, huh?" he asked.

"He said by ten, he thought," I said.

He was surveying me, looking serious, and as though he was thinking.

"Ten's not that late," I pointed out. Though I should likely have just stayed quiet, because he tilted his head slightly, and

looked not entirely pleased.

"I mean-I can have all my homework done, and then when I get home, I can go right to bed," I chattered on.

When he still hesitated, I said, "Please, Adam?"

"School night and all, sugar," he said. Unnecessarily.

"I don't do it, hardly ever," I pointed out.

"I'm aware," he said, drily.

I hushed after that. Just looking at him, and hoping that he would say I could go.

"I guess you can go," he said.

"Thanks!" I said.

"Yep," he said, and headed towards the living room.

I didn't stay up too long after that. I took a shower, in tepid water, (that's all that was left) and then sat on my bed, in my fuzzy pajamas, beginning

on my homework. I was in the midst of a psychology worksheet when there was a tap on my bedroom door.

When I called out 'come in', and the door opened, Daniel's dark head appeared.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi," I said, pausing to look up at him.

"We still on for tomorrow mornin'?" he asked.

When I wrinkled my forehead at him, he added, "You know-I have to go to Oakdale, and you were gonna ride along so we could

talk a bit?"

"Right," I said. "Sure."

"Okay. Great." He gave me a slight smile. Very slight. "See you in the mornin', then. I'm thinking I'll leave about nine or so."

I nodded. "Okay."

Daniel paused, his hand on the upper part of the door. "Jill felt bad, about the skunk gettin' out and all," he said.

I was in a good mood because of Adam saying that I could go with Kenny and his folks on Sunday, so I answered Daniel

more cheerily than I might have earlier.

"Things happen," I said, breezily.

Daniel gave me another half-smile. "Night, squirt," he said.

7


	44. Cafe chat

Daniel and I got a late start the next morning. We were preparing to leave after breakfast, and were actually even at the

truck, when Jill came out onto the front porch, and called out to Daniel.

He paused, his hand on the opened door of the truck, to look back over to her.

"Can I talk to you?" she called out.

He nodded, and said to me, "Go on and get in, and pick out a good station on the radio."

So, I got into the truck, and reached over to turn on the engine, and began to adjust the radio. I turned to look out the

rear window, watching Daniel as he stood talking to Jill. Daniel took her hand, and they stood close together. Jill was waving

her free hand, and seemed agitated. _So what else was new?_

When I saw Daniel give her a quick kiss, and then start back towards the truck again, I turned around real quick-like so

he wouldn't see me watching them.

When he got in, and we set off down the driveway, I said, "Everything okay?"

"Nothing major," Daniel said.

I gave him a couple of covert side glances as we drove. He looked deep in thought. I sipped at the coffee that I'd brought

along in a travel mug. A good ten to fifteen minutes passed, and still he was quiet. I had the sudden thought that if he was going

to be this silent the whole time, then we might as well have stayed at home.

I told myself that wasn't a bit nice. Daniel had a lot on his mind. He had good reason to be thoughtful. Contemplative. Still-this

jaunt out together had been his idea, so that we could talk, he'd said.

Then, after another few minutes, I began to feel badly for him. My own protective feelings rose up. I drank my coffee, and

stayed still, looking out the window at the passing scenery. I would keep quiet until he wanted to talk.

I was surprised when I felt Daniel take my hand, and squeeze it. I turned quickly to look at him.

"Sorry-I was lost in my thoughts," he said.

"It's okay," I said.

He squeezed my hand again, and then let it go, returning his hand to the steering wheel.

"What's new with you lately?" he asked.

"Um, well-nothing too exciting," I said, with a slight grin at him.

"School okay?"

"It's alright."

"You still workin' on the school paper? That was sure somethin' when they put one of your articles in the newspaper," he said.

"I'm still on the school paper," I told him.

"You like that, don't you? Writing?"

"Yeah. I do."

"Writing's a good field to get into. Lots of ways that a person could go with it. Reporting, and free-lancing," Daniel

said.

"I guess so," I agreed.

"You always ought to stick with where your heart lies, though," he added. "If it's in veterinary medicine, then you should keep

your focus on that."

I surveyed him, wondering what had brought about this thread of conversation. "How come you're talking to me about this?" I asked.

He gave me a puzzled look. "Why shouldn't I talk to you about it?" he countered.

"No reason," I said, and then I spoke my mind. "No reason except-it's like you don't want to talk about _other stuff."_

Daniel gave me such a long look that I began to worry he should look at the road.

"Touche, squirt," he said.

As he focused on his driving once again, I said, in apology, "I didn't mean that I don't want to talk to you about school and

college and all that, Daniel."

"I know. You just want me to get to the point, though. Right?"

"Daniel," I said, feeling sorry for saying what I had.

"You're right," he said. After a moment's hesitation, Daniel went on. "Jill hasn't had an easy life. She never had a real home, growing

up in foster care like she did. It's made her needy. Insecure."

I pretty much already knew all that. I asked one of the things that I really wanted to know.

"What about your music?"

"What about it?"

"Are you going to pursue it?"

"I'm not gonna quit my music," he said, turning to give me a look. "I've just some other stuff that's priority right now."

"Will you go back to Nashville?" I asked.

"Yeah. But, I don't know when, exactly."

There was a couple moments of silence and then I said, "I _like_ having you home. It's hard, not seeing you very often. Nashville's so far."

"It's hard for me, too," he said. "It's been nice, not havin' a set time to have to leave this trip home."

After a couple of moments, Daniel said, "Instead of me ramblin' on about stuff-why don't you just ask me anything that

you want to ask?"

To lighten the mood, I said, jokingly, "_Anything?"_

"Well, within reason," he said, with a hint of a smile.

"You know how you said that the father of the baby isn't going to be a part of things?" I said.

"Right."

"Well-I was wondering, how come? I mean, what's wrong with him that he wouldn't want to see his baby, or any of that?"

"Sometimes, guys just don't have any interest in bein' a father. They're okay for the makin', but not the takin' care of," Daniel

said, bluntly.

"But, you are?" I asked. "Interested in being a father? I mean-you're not just doing it because you feel like you have to?"

For a long, long moment, Daniel looked stunned. I could tell I'd shaken him by my question.

"Is that _too_ personal?" I asked, feeling momentarily shaken myself.

"It's okay. Give me a second," he said.

I sipped at my coffee, watching him as he turned his thoughts over in his mind. I really did want an answer to my question, but

I felt sort of bad about making Daniel look _that way. _

"I _do_ feel responsible for Jill. I can't deny that," Daniel said.

"But, why? You're _not_ responsible for the baby-" I said.

"Sometimes things are more about _feelings_ than _facts,"_ he said. He gave me a side look, almost apologetic at his explanation. "I

know it doesn't make much sense, squirt."

"No, not really," I said, in agreement.

We were pulling out onto the highway into morning traffic by now, and for a little while we talked about other things. Some of the

latest songs, the fact that he needed to purchase new guitar strings, things like that.

After we got to Oakdale, I was busy looking out the window. It had been quite awhile since I'd been there.

Daniel told me he was going to stop at a music store to buy the guitar strings, and look around.

"After that, we can do somethin' you want to do," he said.

"I don't have anything special in mind," I said.

"Well, think about it," he said.

We spent over an hour in the music store. Even after Daniel got his strings, he found things to look at. He perused the sheet music,

and after he'd paid for everything, we walked back out into the sunshine. Even though there was sun, there was a chill in the air, and

I was glad I'd brought my jacket. Daniel held out a hand to me as we walked back down the sidewalk to where he'd parked.

"So-where to?" he asked me.

"It doesn't matter," I said. And, then, I added, "Something to eat would be good. What do you think?"

"I could eat," Daniel said, agreeably.

So, a short drive later, we were ensconced in a corner booth at a small cafe. We both ordered peanut butter pie, and I asked

for coffee. Looking around, I found the similarities to the cafe at home comforting.

"It looks like Marie's," I said, leaning forward and wrapping my fingers around the warm coffee cup.

"Yeah. It does, sort of," Daniel said.

When we'd finished our pie, we sat, in quiet for a bit.

"It's nice, being out together," I said.

Daniel smiled at me. "Yeah. It is." He gave his tea glass a push back, and said, serious again, "I don't want us to have a problem

between us, squirt."

"I don't want that, either," I said, quietly.

"I understand this whole situation, with Jill, and the pregnancy, was a shock to everybody. And, I know it's hard for you and Guthrie

to understand, about why I'm makin' the decision that I am, about the baby," he said.

After he said that, he just sat and looked at me for the longest moment. He didn't look upset, or anything like that, but there was

something in his expression that tugged at me.

"I just didn't understand why you didn't tell us," I said. Repeating, I knew, what I'd already expressed to him before.

"I know," Daniel conceded. "And, I'm sorry for that. I don't know what else to say."

"I know," I said, with a sigh. It seemed that we were both frustrated. "I don't mean to harp on it, Daniel."

Daniel sighed, too, and I met his eyes across the table. "I want you to be happy," I said, softly.

"I know you do. And I want the same thing for you," he said.

After a couple of seconds, he said, "I need you to do somethin' for me."

"Okay," I said, holding my breath a bit, wondering.

"Try to accept Jill. I know she's a little different, a _lot different,_ than Hannah or Clare. Or even Nancy. But, I need you to

try," he said. "Give her a fair chance."

"I have been," I said, feeling as though I should protest.

Daniel sat back in the booth, and gave me a long look. It seemed as though he was censoring me, somehow.

"I have," I insisted. "You're not around all the time. You don't know everything that goes on-"

"Is there somethin' that went on that I need to know about?" Daniel countered.

Since I didn't think that Jill had told Daniel about our set-to in the barn that one afternoon, I didn't particularly care to

tell him, either.

So, we just looked at each other for a long few moments, and I saw that Daniel's eyes hadn't been censoring, but more pleading.

I realized that I could try a lot harder with Jill. I just hadn't felt inclined to do so.

"I'll be fair, Daniel," I said, softly, and I was sincere, too.

A smile lit up his eyes. "Thanks."

I moved my cup back and forth between my hands.

"So the guy-" I hesitated over how to describe him, the father of the baby. "He's not gonna bother you and Jill? Or try to cause trouble?"

"He might like to," Daniel said, and then, when he saw my alarmed expression he went on, quickly. "But it's nothin' to worry about."

"I thought you said he didn't want anything to do with the baby," I reminded him.

"No. He doesn't. It's Jill, not the baby, that he's interested in," Daniel said.

"Oh," I said, worriedly. "What if he comes around when you go back to Nashville, and goes after you?"

"He's all talk," Daniel said.

"I don't want you to get beat up," I said.

"Thanks," Daniel said, dryly. "Maybe he's the one that would get beat up, how about that?" he said, lightly.

"Is he still in love with Jill?" I asked, not smiling at his attempt at humor.

"I don't think it's really like that," Daniel said. "It's more-he's one of those control freaks."

"You mean like Kristen's stepfather?" I asked. "He treats her mom really bad, but yet he doesn't want Linda to divorce him or

go out with other men."

"I don't know. I guess it might be a little like that," he said.

I wrinkled my forehead, in worry.

"Don't look like that," Daniel cajoled me. "I've told you-it's nothin' to worry about."

"It sounds worrying to me," I said.

Daniel reached across the table, and hooked one of his fingers thru one of mine, tugging it gently back and forth. "I didn't tell you

any of this to upset you, or stress you out," he said. "I just wanted us to talk, and hash stuff out."

"I know," I said.

Daniel gave me a grin. "I've got everything under control," he said, sounding confident.

7


	45. Hallway huddle

When Daniel said that, _about having everything in his life under control,_ I pushed my glass away a bit more and

said, "Okay."

I said it in a sort of doubting way, and Daniel caught it, raising an eyebrow. "You don't believe me, huh?" he asked, in a

light tone.

I shrugged, and he said, still in a teasing banter, "That's Rule #13 in the OBH, _Always Take Everything I Say as Solid Gold Fact."_

Daniel and his silly _Older Brother's Handbook._

I gave him a semi-serious scolding look, and he turned serious, then, too.

"Come on, squirt. You're makin' this way harder than it has to be."

"I'm not trying to," I said, in defense.

"You don't think you can do this for me? Give Jill a fair shot?"

"I told you that I would," I reminded him.

"Yeah. Okay. So-what's the deal, then? Tell me what I can say to put your mind at ease about it all," Daniel said.

I bit my lower lip, and leaned forward a bit. I wondered if I had the actual courage it would take to say the words.

"I don't wanna hurt you, Daniel," I said.

Daniel sighed and looked a bit regretful. He reached out across the table and took both of my hands in his own.

"What is it?" he asked. "Just say it."

I sighed too, and said, "Okay. I wanna support you."

When I hesitated, Daniel nodded. "I know," he said, encouragingly.

"You've said you feel responsible-even though you're not," I said. "You've said you want to take care of Jill, and

the baby."

Daniel nodded, waiting.

"You've never said that you're _in love_ with her," I said. "Are you?"

I saw so much pass over Daniel's face in that moment, and in the next few. Shock, and then hesitation. And, then, resignation.

He let go of my hands, and leaned back against the booth seat.

I could tell he was weighing words in his head, trying to decide something.

"Today was supposed to be about us _really_ talking," I reminded him. "I'm not a little kid, Daniel."

"Oh, I know _that,"_ he said. "If you were still little, then you wouldn't be askin' something like that."

"Are you?" I persisted.

"We care about each other," Daniel said, slowly. "It's a love that I hope will grow."

Suddenly, it seemed as though there was no more to say, or to ask. My stomach was knotted. Things were too intense.

I wanted Daniel to look happy-go-lucky again, like he had a few minutes before, when he'd been teasing and smiling.

"What does the OBH have to say about a quick game or two of bowling?" I asked him.

**7**

I suggested the bowling to Daniel because-well, because the conversation had become just too much for me. I knew

what Daniel had said, and what he had _not_ said, in answer. I didn't want to talk about him and Jill and their relationship or

all the intricacies of it. I wanted to see him smile and lose what seemed to be nearly sadness in his eyes.

We tried to go to the bowling alley, but there were tournaments going on, and all the lanes were full. So, instead, we

headed home. With my mind on the end result of lightening the mood, I found a station on the truck radio, and some

upbeat, bouncy tunes, and Daniel and I sang along, all the way home.

**7**

When Daniel and I got home, it was early afternoon. He asked me to take his guitar strings and sheet music into the house,

and we parted ways, as he went off to find the other guys and do some work.

I laid his stuff on top of the piano, and went upstairs to my room to change to old chore clothes. Back out in the hallway,

I heard pounding from Clare and Brian's attic rooms. I went up the ladder steps, and found Brian there, hammering and

fitting shelves against the walls.

"Hey," he greeted me, lifting another board.

"Hi. What are you working on?" I asked.

"More shelves. Need more storage with the baby coming," he said.

"Oh. Well, that's a good idea," I said.

Brian retrieved nails from the box nearby, and asked, "Just get home?"

"Yeah."

"How was Oakdale?"

"Okay. We just went to the music store," I said.

"Did you eat lunch?"

"Yeah. We did."

"Good," Brian said, and went on working.

"Where's Clare, and Hannah?" I asked.

"I think they went shopping. They ought to be gettin' home shortly."

I spent the next hour or so helping Brian with what he was doing, and then I went outside to do my chores. I managed to coax

D.C. to the corral, and I put a saddle on him, and rode him around. It got boring doing that, though. I thought I was ready to

branch out and ride him in the fields. I leaned down and unhooked the corral gate, and rode him out.

And then...we were off like a shot. D.C. seemed to need no encouragement from me. He broke into a full run. It caught me

a bit by surprise, but I enjoyed it. I figured he would slow somewhat, but he held steady, and I had to rein him in. Even as

I did that, D.C. was tossing his head, and pawing the ground.

"Wow," I said, leaning forward to pat his neck. "You've still got it in you, don't you, old fella?"

In response, D.C. tossed his head again. We arrived back to the near pasture as swiftly as we'd ridden out. It took a lot

of arm strength for me to bring D.C. to a stop. He seemed to want to run and run.

**7**

I had trouble going to sleep that night. I shouldn't have. I should have been tired. It has been a busy day, but I still found myself

awake at eleven and after. I heard scuffling in the hall and got up to go and peek out into the hallway. Guthrie was just

coming up the stairs, and was talking to Daniel. I knew that Guthrie had to be _getting_ home, but it looked as though Daniel

was just getting to go _out. _

I stepped on out, and said, "What are you two doing?"

"What are _you_ doin' up and awake?" Daniel countered, with a slight grin.

"You're making noise," I said, in complaint.

"Sorry," Guthrie said, and I shrugged.

"You didn't really wake me up," I said. "I was awake already."

"How's Kristin?" I asked Guthrie.

"I was out with Trent and Kenny," Guthrie corrected. "I didn't see Kristin tonight."

"Oh," I said. "Kenny didn't tell me."

"Does he gotta tell you _everything_ that he does?" Guthrie countered.

I reached out to give Guthrie a good, healthy pinch on his belly. "I didn't say he had to-"

"Darn it, Har," Guthrie protested, snatching at my hand.

The two of us scuffled briefly, and it ended with me being breathless, and a door opening at the other end

of the hall, and Adam stepped out of their bedroom. "What's going on?" he asked.

Guthrie disengaged himself from my clutches. "Sorry, Adam. Didn't mean to wake ya up."

"You didn't. I was reading. But, you're gonna wake everybody that is asleep if you keep up the noise," Adam said.

"Yeah, you children settle down," Daniel said, trying to contain his laughter.

"Well, keep it down," Adam said, and then paused at the door to look back at us. "All _three_ of you," he added, with humor, before

he went in and closed the door behind him.

"'Night," Guthrie said, and headed down the hall.

"Night, Guth," Daniel said.

"Night, elephant ears," I said, in a loud whisper after him.

Left there, with Daniel, I said, "How come you're still awake?"

"I'm goin' after some ice cream," Daniel said.

"We've got ice cream-Vanilla and maybe some chocolate," I said.

"Strawberry," Daniel clarified.

I wrinkled my forehead at him, and he said, "Jill's craving strawberry ice cream."

"Oh," I said.

"See ya in the mornin'," Daniel said, giving one of my curls a gentle tug.

I reached up and gave him a hug around his neck. Tight and hard. And then, when I stepped back and let go of him,

he said, looking slightly puzzled, "What was that for?"

"Can I not give you a hug?" I asked, breezily.

"You can," Daniel said, looking serious. "It just seems as though there was more to that one."

I hesitated, and then for some stupid reason, I felt emotional. I think it was because of the time we'd spent together that

day. And what he'd said to me. And what he'd not said.

All I said, though, was, "I love you."

Daniel searched over my face, serious. "I love _you."_

"Be careful driving for the ice cream," I said.

**7**


	46. Tossed off

The next morning, when I got up I went down to breakfast in my chore clothes. The kitchen was buzzing with noise and activity, and

Brian, who was installed at the stove, flipping pancakes, gave me a look over.

"Morning, peach," he greeted me.

"Morning."

"Nice outfit there for church services," he said, nodding at my torn jeans and t-shirt.

"I'm not going," I said. "I'm going with Kenny and his parents, remember?"

"I don't know," Brian said, looking blank. "Do I remember?"

"To Sacramento," I prompted. "To visit his grandma. I'm going to work with D.C. before I get dressed to go with them."

"Ohhh," he said, turning back to his cooking.

As I slid into my place at the table, Hannah, who was already dressed in her church clothes, asked, "What time are

they coming to pick you up?"

"Ten, or thereabouts, I think," I said.

"Are you stopping somewhere to eat?" Clare asked me, leaning forward to look past Guthrie at me.

"Yeah. For supper. We're eating lunch with his grandma at her house."

"Might be a real nice restaurant, huh?" Clare asked.

I nodded at her, pouring a glass of orange juice.

"You should wear something nice," Hannah said.

I nodded again, and glanced across the table towards Daniel and Jill. Every time I looked at Daniel, I felt sort of a pang in my

stomach. I mean, he seemed _okay_ and all. But, he was different, too. There were times when he was like his old self, laughing and cutting

up, like he had with me and Guthrie the night before. But, other times, he was so-well so _intent,_ and introspective. Nearly sad, I thought.

I tried to force myself to not think that way. To not think about all of Daniel's _stuff._

As I was helping to clear the breakfast table to stack the dishes, I said something along those lines to Hannah, in a quietly spoken

way.

"I'm worried about Daniel," I said.

"I know," Hannah said, also quietly.

"But, then-like today-I just want to have _fun,_ and think about myself," I confessed.

Hannah paused, holding glasses in both hands, to look at me. "There is nothing wrong in that, sweetie. _Nothing at all." _ She set the

glasses by the sink and reached out to rub my arm. "You're entitled, you know. To have fun." She paused to let her words sink in,

giving me a serious look.

"Okay," I said, softly.

"Um, hello?" said a voice at the kitchen doorway. Hannah and I both looked that way, to see Jill standing there.

I stepped apart from Hannah a bit, hoping that Jill hadn't overheard what the two of us had been saying to each other.

"Hi, Jill," Hannah said, returning to her dish stacking, and not reacting as though Jill had interrupted anything.

Jill stepped on into the kitchen. "I wondered if you wanted me to do your hair for you," she said, to me. "For your day

out with Kenny."

"I think that would be nice, don't you?" Hannah asked me, in an encouragement.

"Yeah. Sure," I said.

"Great," Jill said, seeming to brighten somewhat. "Want to do it down here, in the living room?"

"Okay," I said.

"I'll go grab my stuff," Jill said, and turned to go.

I exchanged a look with Hannah, but neither of us said any more.

**7**

Jill was prepared to do my hair, using the coffee table for all her hair supplies, when Hannah came thru, encouraging

her to come along with the rest of the family to church services.

So, even though I would rather have done my hair just before I left with Kenny, I sat down right then, to let

Jill do her thing.

She asked me what I wanted, and I said that just a braid would be fine.

"I'll do a French braid, then," Jill said. "With a little twist."

When she was finished, she handed me a mirror, and I saw that the back of my head looked like something

from one of the hair salon magazines. Real elaborate, with two French braids, but then hair criss-crossed in three X's of hair,

in between the braids.

"Wow," I said.

"Do you like it?" Jill asked.

"Yes. It's great-" I said.

"Gorgeous," Clare said, coming over to stand near and take a closer look at what Jill had done.

"Thanks," Jill said, with a smile, seeming pleased.

Adam came to find me, just as most of the family was preparing to head to church services.

I was outside in the pasture, trying to lure D.C. closer.

Adam whistled, and motioned to me, and I walked back over to where he was leaning on the corral gate.

"He's bein' stubborn today, huh?" he asked me, nodding towards D.C.

"Yeah. He's in a mood, I guess," I said.

"Well, we're takin' off now," he said. "Crane's going with Ivy, but Daniel's gonna be around somewhere with

Evan."

"Okay," I said.

"Okay," Adam echoed. He eyed me, cocking his head slightly. "Your hair looks nice," he said.

I sort of twirled, giving him another glimpse of the back of my head. "Fannnnncy, huh?"

"Very fancy," he said. He reached into the pocket of his church pants, and pulled out his wallet. "Here," he said, taking out

a ten dollar bill, and handing it to me.

"What's this for?" I asked him.

"In case you need it for something."

"Kenny and his parents are paying for dinner-" I began.

"I know. It's some '_just in case'_ money," he said.

"Oh. Well, okay," I said, smiling at him. "Thanks. I'll give it back to you if I don't spend it."

Adam nodded, and then said, "Well, have fun today, alright?"

"I will."

He gave me a half-smile, and went to get into Hannah's small car, with Hannah and Jill, and they drove off, followed by Brian and Clare in her car,

and Guthrie in the back seat.

I went back to coaxing D.C., and managed to get him tied to the fence, saddling him. I was learning to read his moods a bit,

and I could tell he was _edgy,_ feeling his oats. The thought ran thru my mind that maybe I should ride him in the corral arena, at least

until I got him a bit worn out, and settled down.

I dismissed that warning thought, though, and mounted him. He immediately wanted to run, and I let him. We were racing across

the pasture, at breakneck speed, when I saw Daniel and Evan on four-wheelers in the distance. I waved to them. Just as I saw

them waving back, I got unseated, and the next thing I knew, I was laying flat on my back, in the tall grass, looking up at the sky.

"_Damn,"_ I thought. I thought it, not said it, because I'd had the wind knocked out of me.

I tried to draw a breath, but it hurt. I began to flex my fingers and my arms and legs, to see if anything might be broken. I didn't think so,

but I heard the roaring of the four-wheelers, and groaned. Here they came.

Daniel got to me first, as I was struggling to sit up.

"Lay still," he ordered, kneeling beside me in the grass.

Evan appeared on the other side of me, crouching down. "What the hell was that?" he demanded.

"A trick," I managed to croak out. I was still attempting to sit up, but Daniel eased me back down.

"Where does it hurt?" he asked.

"I'm okay," I said. "Just-had the wind knocked out of me."

"Well, lay still," Daniel said, checking over my legs and arms.

"Nothing's broken," I said.

"Let me be the judge of that," Daniel said, giving me a slight smile that made me feel better.

After a couple of moments, they eased me to a sitting position.

"I think you're okay," Daniel said. "Probably gonna be bruised up."

"No biggie," I said.

"I thought you had him under control," Evan said, with a glower.

"I do."

"Doesn't look like it," Evan said, disapprovingly.

"It was a freak thing," I protested, as Daniel helped me to my feet.

"Stand up slow, now," Daniel was saying.

Once I was on my feet, I tried to appear natural. Not as though I was sore all over. Which I was.

They were walking me towards the four-wheelers, and I protested mildly, "Where's D.C.?"

"Eatin' grass," Evan said. "I'll tend to him. You get up to the house and get laid down."

"I don't need to," I protested. "I've got to get dressed before Kenny comes-"

Evan made some remark to that-I didn't really hear the exactness of his words, but he seemed irritated.

I got on behind Daniel on the ATV, feeling stiff and sore. At the house, he turned it off, and kept a hand on my elbow,

as we went up the front steps.

"Sit down," Daniel told me, and I sat down on the couch. He patted his thigh. "Put your foot up here, and I'll help ya get your

boots off," he said.

I let him do that, and I could see Evan out the open front door, walking D.C. to the corral to unsaddle him.

"Evan's gonna fuss," I said.

"He's just worried about ya."

"He's bossy," I said.

"Worried," Daniel repeated.

He sat down on the coffee table so that he was facing me, as I sat on the couch.

"Your neck feel okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm okay, Daniel. I've had worse falls."

"Alright. Well, just sit for a few minutes, and get your bearings. Want somethin' to drink?" he offered.

"Yeah," I said, and he went off toward the kitchen.

I was sitting there, stretching out my fingers and wiggling my toes, when Evan came up the front steps and inside.

"You okay?" he asked me.

"Yeah. I'm okay," I said.

"What happened for you to come off like that?" he demanded.

"It was just a freak thing," I said, again.

Evan frowned at me. "I think he's too much for ya."

"Don't _say_ that! It's not true!"

He was still giving me _the eye._

"Don't overreact, Ev," I said. "I've been tossed off lots of times-"

"We don't know this horse's history, though," Evan said, as Daniel came back, carrying two glasses in his hands.

Daniel handed me one of the glasses and I took a long drink of the lemonade. It tasted so good.

Daniel sat down next to me on the couch, as Evan continued his rant.

"From now on, I don't want you to ride him outside of the corral," he ordered.

"That's ridiculous," I protested. "I can't give him a decent workout in the corral."

"I'll give him a workout with he needs it," Evan said.

"That's just stupid-" I began, as Evan's eyebrows drew together in a furious line.

"Don't call me stupid," he said.

"I'm not. I didn't," I said. I looked to Daniel for sympathy and support.

"I don't think she meant it the way it sounded," Daniel said, speaking up for me. _Good old Daniel._

Evan went off to the kitchen then, mumbling to himself.

"Whew," I said, blowing out a long breath of relief at his departure, even if only momentarily.

"Evan's pretty smart about horses," Daniel said.

I turned to look at him, as he sat, flopped against the back of the couch.

"I know," I said.

"Maybe he's right about the horse bein' a little high-strung for ya," Daniel said.

"Not you _too_," I said, rolling my eyes towards the ceiling.

Evan was back by now, drinking a can of Coke.

I decided to make my escape before Evan could begin in on me again. I set my glass on the coffee table, and stood up, heading

towards the stairs.

"Where you goin'?" Daniel called after me.

"I have to get dressed," I said. "Kenny's picking me up."

I went upstairs, and checked the time. It was a little after nine-I had maybe an hour before Kenny and his parents came.

I wished longingly to soak in Hannah's bathtub with some Epsom salts to soothe my aches and pains. I could, I thought, do it

if I didn't linger too long in the hot water.

So, I went to run the hot water, pouring in the Epsom salts with a liberal hand. I immersed myself and soaked for fifteen minutes,

making sure I kept track of the time from Hannah's bathroom clock.

I got dressed in a pair of corduroy pants and and my yellow blouse, and put on some makeup. I was just finishing

when Daniel called up the stairs to tell me that Kenny and his parents were driving in.

I didn't race down the stairs. I was still feeling a little sore from my toss off of D.C.'s back earlier.

But, I was careful to not seem as though I was hurting, since both Daniel and Evan were still in the living room.

Kenny was coming up the front steps and Evan went to open the door before he even knocked.

"Hey, Evan," Kenny said.

"Hey there, Kenny."

Kenny stepped on inside, and gave a wave in Daniel's direction. "Hey, Daniel."

"Hiya, Kenny," Daniel said.

"Well, I'm ready," I said, going to stand beside Kenny. "See you guys later," I told Evan and Daniel.

**7**


	47. Lobster and a question

"Sure you feel up to it?" Evan was asking, as I tried to usher Kenny out the door.

"I'm fine," I said, just as Kenny asked, "Somethin' wrong?"

"She took a hard tumble a while ago," Evan told him.

As Kenny looked at me with concern, I said, breezily, "D.C. stepped in a hole, or something."

"Are you okay?" Kenny asked, and I reached out to take his hand.

"I'm fine," I said, again, and squeezed his hand in an attempt to signal my wish to depart. _Now._

Daniel had come over closer, to stand nearer to the three of us.

"No headache?" he asked me.

"No." I gave both him and Evan a steady look. "I've told both of you that I am _fine._ Stop fussing." It had gone past time, I thought,

for me to be firm with them.

"Let's go," I told Kenny. "See you guys later," I said to Evan and Daniel.

"Have fun," Daniel said, as we walked out onto the porch.

"We will. Thanks," Kenny said.

I climbed into the back seat of Kenny's parent's car, saying hello to his mom and dad. As we began our drive down the

driveway, I looked back just for a second or so. Daniel was still standing at the open doorway, and Evan still standing on

the porch.

I said, _good grief_ in my head.

**7**

I had a good time with Kenny and his parents. The drive to Sacramento was pleasant, and I enjoyed meeting his grandmother.

This was his grandma on his dad's side of the family. She was a spunky lady, funny. She had whipped up a wonderful lunch

of Hot Brown Turkey Sandwiches, and different sorts of salads. One of them was called pistachio salad, and was really more like

a dessert. There were other desserts, too, though. Cakes and two pies. I couldn't help thinking of Ford and Guthrie. They would

have loved to dive into those desserts.

I had a piece of blackberry pie, and then, when Kenny was finished with his dessert, we went for a walk.

Kenny showed me around the property, which was huge, with lots of well-kept buildings, and landscaping, and sweeping

white fences. It had been in the family for a number of years, he said.

I admired it. It looked pristine. Neat. Our ranch and buildings are kept in good condition, but they're definitely not

like these.

"My mom and pop have thought about moving here to help Gram out," Kenny told, as we walked.

"Oh, no," I said, without thinking, and then I said, "I mean-I'd hate for you to go-"

"I know what you meant," Kenny said, squeezing my hand. "Don't worry. I don't think it's anything that they're gonna do

anytime soon. If they do it, it would likely be after I graduate."

"Oh," I said, feeling relieved. "Well, it's a beautiful place. It looks like something off the cover of a calendar."

After that Kenny talked about his grandpa, telling me that he had been a real interesting person.

"I wish you could have met him," Kenny said. "He would have liked you."

"Thanks," I said, feeling warm inside at the compliment.

When we went back inside, I spent some time with Kenny's grandma and mother, while Kenny and his dad

went outside. We looked at old family pictures, and, sitting in between the two women, I was generally fussed over,

and doted on. Kenny's mother sat, with her arm around my shoulders, her fingers twirling a strand of my hair gently. I mean,

I'm treated well at home, very well, and physical affection is a common thing around our house. Still, to be treated like

a princess almost, as if I was really something unusual and special-well, that was quite a lift to my self esteem. Kenny's mother

has always made over me, and treated me extra nice. And now, his grandma was doing the same. We watched an hour or so

of old home movies, and I liked seeing Kenny at younger ages.

When it was time for us to leave, I was actually sorry to say goodbye to Kenny's grandma. When I said goodbye to her,

and thanked her for having me, and all of that, I called her ma'm. She waved her hands, which had a ring on every finger,

and said, "I'm not ma'm. I'm my Kenny's Gram Ida, and I want you to call me the same."

"Alright," I said. "Thank you, Gram Ida."

She patted my cheek and whispered to me that she thought I was good for Kenny.

"He's much happier now, after his bad time he had last summer," Gram Ida said. _Referring, of course, to Kenny's involvement with_

_the men who'd been rustling the Mustangs._

"Kenny's good for me, too," I told her, and she beamed. "You come back very soon," she told me.

The restaurant that we went to for the evening meal was a nice one. It was called The Homestead House, and Kenny and I, and his dad

ordered steaks, while his mom ordered lobster.

"Sure you don't wanna try the lobster?" Kenny asked me, leaning over to talk close to my ear.

"I've never had it," I said.

"So, give it a try," he encouraged.

I had seen the price of the lobster on the menu, and it was even more than the steak.

Kenny read my thoughts and said, quietly, "If you want it, it's fine."

"I don't know if I'd even like it," I admitted. I leaned closer to whisper to him. "I don't want to waste it, in case I don't like it."

"You could have a smaller order of it," Kenny suggested.

With Kenny's encouragement, I decided to take the chance. When the food was delivered to the table, I wasn't sure how to

eat the lobster, but with Kenny's quiet instructions, and watching Kenny's mother, I was able to figure it out.

And, I found that I liked the taste. When Kenny asked me, I told him yes, that I did like it. Very much. It had an unusual taste,

one I wasn't used to, but it was good.

Kenny's dad said he was tired as we came out of the restaurant. He is finished with his chemo treatments, but sometimes he

still gets tired, Kenny said. So, his parents sat in the back seat, and Kenny drove, with me in the front beside him. His mom kept up

a chatter halfway home, then she became quiet, too, and Kenny, after a quick look in the rear view mirror, said, "Both of them are

asleep."

That struck me as funny, the way he said it, and I giggled softly. Quietly, Kenny said, "I gotta keep my hands on the wheel, since

we're on the highway and all. But come sit closer to me, at least."

So, I scooted over until my leg was against his. After that, we talked real softly.

"Did you have fun today?" he asked me.

"I really did," I said. "I like your Gram Ida alot."

"She liked you, too," Kenny said.

"I hope so," I said.

"Believe me, if my Gram Ida doesn't like somebody, they know about it. Real quick," he said.

"Oh. Well, I'm glad she liked me. She seems like a really wonderful lady. Spunky," I said.

"Yeah. She was real great about everything when I got into trouble last year. She'd call me every time I had

enough points and she sent me letters and all."

"I'm sorry I only came that one time to see you," I said. Suddenly, I felt bad about that.

"That's okay," Kenny said.

"And, I never wrote to you or anything-" I went on.

"Harlie, it's _okay,"_ Kenny said. "I mean, it wasn't like-" he hesitated. "Like we were datin' or anything at the time. It was

nice that you came up to see me at all."

I wondered if I should tell him that I'd only come that time because Guthrie had asked me to. I didn't want to hurt him, but

still-I thought I should be honest, too.

"Guthrie asked me to ride along," I admitted.

"Oh. Well-that's okay," he said.

"I wish I'd at least written to you," I said.

"After what I did-to Warrior, well, I'm darned lucky you ever spoke to me again," he said.

"I forgave you for that a long time ago," I said, feeling emotional.

Kenny did take his right hand off the steering wheel then, long enough to take my hand in his. "I wanna be a good man, Harlie. The sort

that people can depend on. That _you_ can depend on."

I found that I was, for once, speechless. Kenny didn't really talk like this generally. It was true that he was alot more serious

than he'd been a year ago, but still-

And, then, he went on talking, and I found my speech even harder to recover.

"You're important to me," he said, quietly.

"You're important to me, too," I managed.

Kenny squeezed my hand, and then released it, and put it back on the steering wheel.

As we drove on, and were by now only thirty minutes or so from Murphys, Kenny spoke up again, quietly.

"Harlie?"

"Hmm?"

"I've actually been thinking that I might give you a ring-for your birthday, or at Christmas," Kenny said.

It was like a hundred millions thoughts went thru my head in the next few moments. Shock, _total shock,_ disbelief, and a heady feeling

of excitement. All of that.

I knew I'd given a small gasp of surprise at his words, and Kenny must have heard it, too, because he said, really quickly,

"I don't mean like an engagement ring, exactly. I was thinking, more like a promise ring."

"A promise ring?" I echoed.

"Yeah," he said, quietly, into the darkness.

When I was silent, Kenny said, "Are you okay? I mean-am I talkin' out of turn?"

"It's not that-" I said. "I'm just sort of surprised, is all."

After a couple of moments, he said, "Do you think you might want to? Take a promise ring from me?" I could hear the emotions

in his voice. The nervousness.

"I don't know," I said, and then I thought that sounded lame. I didn't want to hurt Kenny by seeming as though I was

totally uninterested.

"We're so young," I said. "To make a decision like that-"

"I know we're young," he agreed. "But, we're both not typical for our age. I mean, I had to grow up alot in the last few months.

I know what's important now, and what isn't. And _you?_ You were born bein' an old soul."

I'd heard that term before. _Old soul. _ I had, at times, thought of Ford in that way. And Crane, too. I'd never thought of myself

that way. To me, though, it was a high compliment.

"Kenny," I said, suddenly feeling choked up with emotion.

And then-there was a light cough from the back seat, and Kenny's dad said, "Are we nearly home, son?"

"Yeah. Nearly to Murphys," Kenny answered.

After that, Kenny's dad leaned forward and talked to both of us, and then his mother woke, and she talked, too.

I was mostly quiet, and my thoughts were all over the place. When we got to our house, and Kenny got out to walk me

to the door, his parents were effusive in their good nights.

"We so enjoyed having you with us, Harlie," Mrs. Harris said.

"We surely did," Mr. Harris echoed.

"Thank you very much for inviting me," I said.

On the front porch, where the porch light had been left on for me, Kenny squeezed my hand.

"I'm glad you came," he said.

"So am I," I said. "I had a really good time."

"I guess I surprised you, huh?" Kenny asked. "Askin' you about the ring?"

"A little," I admitted. "It's not that I wouldn't _want_ to, Kenny."

"Okay. We can talk about it, huh?"

"Yes. We can," I agreed. He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. Mindful of his parents who were observing, I was sure.

I went inside, and found Hannah sitting up, waiting for me. She had been sitting on the couch, reading by the one

lamp. She put her book down immediately, as I was closing the door.

"Hi, sweetie," she greeted me. "How was your evening?"

**7**


	48. As we go

Answering Hannah's question about my evening, as I turned off the porch light, I said, "It was good. Lots of fun."

"Leave that on, hon," she told me, referring to the porch light. "Crane's not home yet."

"Okay," I said, switching it back on again.

"Come and sit," Hannah invited. "Just for a couple of minutes," she said, patting the space beside her on the couch.

I went to sit down, turning to face her, and tucking one leg under myself.

Hannah asked about Kenny's grandmother, and I told her how nice Gram Ida had been, and how she'd asked me

to call her that. _Gram Ida._

"She made this really good salad," I went on. "Sort of more of a dessert than a salad." I described the green creation, filled

with whipped topping and marshmallows.

"That sounds delicious," Hannah said. "We'll have to make it soon."

I went on to tell her about the restaurant, and how I'd tried the lobster.

Showing real interest, Hannah wanted to know what I thought of it, if I'd liked it.

I told her that I really had liked it.

After we'd talked for a few more minutes, Hannah patted my arm. "You'd better get your shot done, and get to bed."

She went with me to the kitchen, waiting while I did my injection, and then we walked up the stairs together.

"Everything alright here at home?" I asked.

"Yes. Alright," she said. "Daniel said you took a hard fall this morning from your horse. He said you seemed as though

you were alright before you left. Are you? Alright, I mean?"

"Yes, I'm alright," I said. "A little stiff, maybe. I soaked in your tub before I left."

"Alright. Well, make sure you tell us if you have a headache, or anything else," she said.

I said that I would, and she gave me a brief hug at my bedroom door, before she went on down the hallway to

her and Adam's room.

**7**

The next morning, I had difficulty in getting up. I'll admit to it. But, I only stayed lying there for a few extra minutes. I knew

if I was late, or seemed as though I was tired, that Adam would take notice, and not let me go out again on a school night.

I slid into my seat at the breakfast table, which was nearly already filled with McFaddens. A round of 'good mornings'

passed.

Clare leaned forward to look at me, and ask how my evening had been.

I told her that it had been lots of fun, and eventually the subject of the lobster came up.

"Wouldn't catch me eatin' that," Guthrie said.

"It was good," I told him.

"Yeah, Guth, you need to branch out a little," Crane told him. "Try new things."

As I was finishing, and getting up to take my plate to the sink, Adam said, from his end of the table, "What time did you

get home?"

I glanced at him, and said, "It was before eleven. I think it was like-10:45 or so."

"That's right," Hannah verified. "It was about that time."

Adam nodded, and said, "Good."

As he walked out with Guthrie and I as we headed to school, he paused on the porch, leaning against a porch post, coffee in hand

as was usual.

"Real tired?" Adam asked me.

I shook my head. "Not too much," I said.

"I heard about the toss off your horse," he said.

I hugged my backpack closer to my chest, looking up at him. "It wasn't that big a deal," I said.

"Evan seemed to think it was," Adam said.

I met Adam's eye, and there was a moment or more of silence, and then Guthrie interrupted.

"I'm gonna head out," he said. "Looks like this is gonna be one of _those_ _conversations."_

I reached out to give Guthrie a pinch. "It is _not,"_ I denied.

"Yep," Guthrie argued. "And I _do not_ need to be here for it."

"See ya," he said, clomping down the steps, and getting into his truck. He started the motor, and waved, and then drove

down the driveway, and Adam and I watched him go.

And then, I turned to look back up at Adam again.

"I'm okay," I said.

Adam gave me a long look. "Bruised?" he asked me.

"Maybe a little," I said, with a shrug.

"You don't know?" he asked.

"I had to get ready to go with Kenny-and then when I got home last night I went right to bed-" I hesitated, and then

lifted my shoulders again. "I haven't really done a total body check over. Or anything," I said, feeling a little embarrassed.

"Well, I bet it's safe to say you have more than a couple of bruises," Adam said.

Adam had a look on his face. A _look._ I sensed that there could be trouble brewing. It sounded as though Evan had done

a good job of setting off worry.

"It's all part of the ranch life, right?" I said, sounding breezy.

"Sometimes," he said. "What caused you to come off?"

I thought about repeating what I'd said to Kenny and in front of Daniel and Evan, about D.C. stepping into a hole or

something like that. But, Adam was studying me so intently, that I lost my nerve.

"I'm not sure," I admitted.

"Was he actin' up?" he asked.

"No. He was fine. Wanting to run," I said.

"Hmm," Adam said, looking sternly thoughtful.

"D.C. didn't do anything," I said, not caring for that look. "He wasn't trying to bolt, or buck."

"You still came off though," Adam said.

I was trying to find the words, the right protest, to convince Adam that he didn't have to worry about D.C. That he

didn't have to worry about me continuing to work with the horse.

But, before I could, Adam pushed himself off the porch column, and said, "You'd best be gettin' to school. Have a good day."

**7**

I finished my day, at school, and then went to the vet office. Ivy and I stayed busy. She told me that she was

taking off a couple of days to go out of town. She needed to check on her parents, she said.

"Do you think you can stop by each day to feed and water the horses?" she asked me.

"Yes. Sure," I said. "Do you want me to exercise them, too?"

"If you think you can," she said.

"I can do them on alternate days," I suggested. "Or Guthrie might stop after school and ride one of them, if I ask him."

"Good old Guthrie," Ivy said, with a smile.

"Anything else you want me to do?" I asked her.

"Check the messages, maybe. Tend the horses. That's about all."

"Okay," I said.

I wondered briefly if Crane was going along with Ivy on her trip, but we got busy again, and so I didn't ask.

**7**

At home, I changed my clothes, and drank two glasses of water at the kitchen sink.

Hannah, coming back up from the basement, said, "Are you alright?"

"Just thirsty," I said.

"Eat some nuts," Hannah said, and so, to satisfy her, I shook out a handful of almonds from the jar on the refrigerator.

"Where is everybody?" I asked, popping nuts into my mouth.

"Clare's taking a nap. Jill went with Daniel somewhere. Isaac should be waking up anytime now."

Hannah went on to the crock pot, lifting the lid, to look in and then replacing the lid.

"Guess I'd better go do my chores," I said.

"Okay. You should try to get bed early tonight," she said.

"I'll try," I said. "I've got an anatomy paper to do."

"Maybe go to bed early, and then get up in time to do it in the morning," Hannah suggested.

I was just preparing to head outside, when there was a commotion coming from the living room, and I waited, finishing my

glass of water. Daniel came into the kitchen, carrying a sack in each arm, and a jug of milk dangling precariously from his fingertips.

"Hey, squirt, grab the milk, will ya," he told me. "I'm about to drop it."

I set my glass down and went to rescue the milk jug, taking it from him and going to put it into the refrigerator.

Jill followed behind him, carrying another bag, with celery sticking up out of the top of the bag.

"The store's were crazy busy," she was saying, as she went to set the bag down.

Jill looked exuberant, full of vitality, and high spirits. Daniel, meanwhile, seemed preoccupied. When Jill pulled

a box from one of the sacks, which contained a baby brush and comb, pink with white flowers on it, she held it up.

"Look what we found-Daniel said we should wait-but I couldn't resist it," Jill was saying.

"It's beautiful," Hannah said.

"I know it's pink and all-but that's because I know it's going to be a girl," Jill was gushing.

_Ugh. _ I took an apple from the fruit bowl on the table, and headed outside to do my chores. I fed the goats, and the cats, and checked

on Pepe, refilling his water and food dishes. I went to feed Petra and old Charlie an apple each, from the box of apples left in the barn.

I took an extra one for D.C., and walked out into the pasture. D.C. was off by himself, as is fairly common, and I walked toward him,

holding out the apple. He waited until I got within five feet or so, and then he tossed his head, and pawed at the ground a couple

of times.

That was new. I stopped walking suddenly.

"What the _heck,"_ I muttered. "What's your problem?" I accused him.

He'd tossed his head before, but never just when I was trying to approach him. And, pawing the ground, well, that was new

behavior.

I still had homework, and it was nearly time for supper, so I gave up. For that moment, anyway.

"You're not gonna get the best of me, mister," I told D.C. He, in return, gave me a steady look, and another head toss.

**7**

Things around our house-well, very rarely are things dull. At supper, the conversations were all over the map, so to speak.

Crane said he was going with Ivy, leaving the next morning to travel to her parent's home with her. That reminded me, so I

asked Guthrie about stopping after school the next day, to help me exercise the boarded horses. It was when everybody

was finishing up, and the table was being cleared, that Daniel dropped the news.

The news that he'd taken a job in Fremont. Which is about 90 miles from our house.

He'd caught everybody by surprise. Once again. Except for Crane. I got the impression that Crane had known about

the announcement ahead of time.

"A job where?" Brian asked.

I think Brian, as was mostly everybody else, figured it was likely a job at a country bar, or a honky-tonk, playing music.

"At the power plant," Daniel said.

There was silence for a long few moments, and then Adam said, "You've got a job right here." I could hear the tenseness in

his tone.

"Damn right you do," Brian added.

"It's a good job up there," Daniel said. "Good money."

"Full-time?" Adam asked. "Forty hours a week?"

"More than that with overtime," Daniel said.

"Daniel, that's so far," Hannah spoke up. "How long is the commute?"

"Around an hour and a half one way," Daniel said.

"That's a lot of drivin'," Brian said.

Clare gave me a nudge, and went on to the sink to begin running hot water for dishes.

"I heard of a lot of guys that went up there lately to apply," Guthrie said, sounding interested.

"Let's talk outside on the porch," Adam said, scooting his chair away from the table and standing.

So, Daniel went off to the porch with Adam and Brian, and Crane. I would have liked to have talked freely to

Hannah and Clare about everything, but Jill was there, too. At least now that she'd been around for awhile, she helped

with chores, like clearing the table, and drying dishes.

"Daniel went to see about the job today," Jill offered.

"It's a long drive to make every day," Hannah said, again.

"The money's so good, though," Jill said.

Hannah's mouth tightened a bit. I could see it, and I knew she was feeling stressed. I felt suddenly badly for her. Hannah

does so much, every single day, for everybody. And, she had to deal with Jill now, too. And, even if Jill was trying to get along,

she was still needy and annoying.

**7**


	49. Feels like--

I wasn't on the dish washing duty list, so after I'd helped clear the table, I wandered thru to the living room. The main door had

been left open, so only the screen door was masking the conversation being held on the front porch. I went to the bookshelves, my fingers

on the books, but my ears straining to hear.

I could hear fairly well at first. Brian repeating that Daniel had no need to take an outside job, especially one so far away.

Daniel said _again_ that the money was a motivator.

"If it's just the money-we can make sure we get you more out of the family coffers," Adam said.

"There's no need for that," Daniel refused.

I heard the sound of the porch swing creaking, and boots scraping on the porch floor. I had been inching myself over closer

to the screen as they talked, but now I became still. Motionless. So I wouldn't be detected.

I could hear Crane saying something then, and I let out my breath. Relieved that I wasn't caught.

Adam passed in front of the door, to lean against a porch post. I didn't think he was where he could see me, lurking, even though I

could see him.

And then, without even looking into the house, or at me at all, Adam said, quietly, "Close the door, Harlie Marie."

I felt myself get hot in embarrassment at being caught out. I stepped out, into view, and began to close the wooden door.

"Close it all the way," Adam added, and I flushed hotter.

I looked up just enough to catch his eyes on me, thru the screen. "Yes, sir," I mumbled.

I closed the door, tightly, and went to do my homework. I took it outside to the picnic table out back to do. It was so

nice out, and I didn't feel like being cooped up in the house. There was just the merest hint of a breeze, and I got a small rock

to set on top of my papers so they wouldn't blow away.

Guthrie came over to join me after awhile, hitching himself up to sit on top of the table, with his feet resting on the seat bench.

He was carrying a book in his hand.

"They still talkin'?" he asked me.

"Yeah. I think so."

He sighed, and laid back across the table, looking up at the sky.

I took a look at the book he still held. "Reading '_The_ _Outsiders',_ huh?" I asked.

"Yeah. It's a tough read," Guthrie complained. "I'm havin' trouble getting thru it. I wish it wasn't assigned reading for senior English."

"Why?" I asked. "I liked it."

"I dunno. The way they talk, and all that." He turned to fasten his blue eyes on me. "You could just _tell_ me everything that happens,

you know. Give me your own summary. Then I wouldn't have to go thru this."

"I _could,"_ I said. "But, that wouldn't be the _right_ thing, Guth." I batted my eyelashes at him teasingly, and he retaliated by

tossing the paperback copy of _The Outsiders_ in my direction.

"Yeah, yeah," he said.

I took the book and set it on top of my own books.

"Wait until you have to read _Romeo and Juliet,"_ I teased him.

"Agghhh," Guthrie groaned. "Just shoot me now."

We subsided into quiet for a few minutes.

"Think they're tryin' to talk Daniel out of the job?" Guthrie asked, sitting up.

"For sure, they are," I said. "I was listening until Adam saw me."

"It sounds like a good job to me," Guthrie said.

I gave him a look of surprise. "Maybe. But, Daniel won't have time for anything with his music if he takes the job. I mean, he'll be

committed to it-he'll never get back to Nashville."

"I'd think you'd be glad about that," Guthrie said. "I mean, if he stays, then he'd be around all the time."

"Yeah, that part of it would be nice," I admitted.

There were voices coming from around the side of the house, and Crane and Adam approached, still talking. But, about

ranch stuff. Not Daniel, or his job prospects.

"Hey, you monkeys," Crane said, in greeting.

"Hey," Guthrie said, in reply.

"Homework done?" Crane asked, as he and Adam stopped beside the picnic table.

I said yes, as Guthrie gave another groan.

"Still readin' this," he said, thumping the copy of _The Outsiders._

"That's a good book," Crane said, and Guthrie gave a shake of his head.

"If you say so," he said, doubtfully.

"You read it, didn't you, peanut?" Crane asked me.

"Yeah," I said.

"How many chapters do you need to read tonight?" Crane asked Guthrie.

"Two," Guthrie said, sounding glum.

Guthrie is super smart. Good at math. I mean, _so good_ at it that he doesn't even have to crack a math book. He can practically do

most math stuff in his head. But, reading, and English. Those things he's not so good at. Or, at least he doesn't enjoy them.

"Finish your reading, and then I'll rehash some of it with you," Crane offered. "In case there's a quiz on those chapters."

"It's dry _as dust,"_ Guthrie complained on.

"Change your attitude and it may not be so bad," Crane told him. That's Crane-speak for '_stop complaining, and do what_

_you need to do'._

Guthrie knew it, too, because he sighed, and reached out for the dog-eared copy of _The Outsiders._

Adam, meanwhile, was giving me a discerning look, out of his dark eyes.

"Eavesdropping's sort of childish, don't you think, young lady?" he said.

My face got all hot again. I gave a really quick nod, embarrassed.

Adam, thankfully, said no more about it. Guthrie helped that along, probably, because he spoke up to ask, "What's Daniel

gonna do?"

Crane and Adam exchanged a brief look.

"He's going to Fremont to work," Crane said.

Guthrie and I were both quiet at that remark. There didn't seem to be anything else to say about it.

As I was gathering up my books and papers, and was walking inside with Adam, he paused at the back door so I could go

inside ahead of him.

"You don't want Daniel to do it, do you?" I asked Adam, quietly.

Adam flicked his glance over me.

"Not particularly, no," Adam said.

By now, we were in the kitchen, which was tidied and welcoming. Adam went over to the coffee pot, refilling the pot with water, and

preparing to make more.

Alone in the kitchen that way, I found myself confiding to Adam.

"It makes me sad," I said.

"What makes you sad?" he asked, as he measured out the coffee.

"That Daniel's not doing anything at all with his music."

"He'll come back to it."

"What if he doesn't?" I persisted.

Adam leaned against the counter, and met my expression. "Then-that will be his choice," he said. "_His,_ Harlie."

"Yes. I know," I said.

"If I had to make a bet on it, though, I'd wager that he won't be long from it," Adam said.

"You think so?" I asked.

"Music makes up a good part of who Daniel is," he said. "Generally, people _can't stop_ doing what it is that gives them

the most enjoyment and solace."

"I hope," I said.

As the coffee began its dripping, Adam went to pull out a chair from the table, scooting it out and sitting down. He reached out and

pulled out the chair next over so that it was nearly facing his.

He patted the second chair seat, and said, "Sit down."

I eyed him, trying to think quickly of what he might be planning to bring up to me.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, a bit warily.

"I guess that'll be all in the way we approach it," he said. Which wasn't an answer _at all._

"Come on," he said, patting the chair seat again.

I took the seat, setting my books and stuff on the table, and then facing him.

Adam wasted no time in coming directly to the point. "We need to discuss the horse," he said.

Ah. _The horse._ As in, Dark Commander.

"Okay," I said, feeling myself tighten up immediately.

"It sounds as if he's fairly unpredictable," Adam said.

"We're still getting to know each other," I pointed out swiftly.

"Uh huh," he said. In apparent agreement. But, I knew better that to assume that's what it meant.

"I've made a lot of progress with him," I said. I felt I had to get it all said. I could feel the steel trap of Adam's personality

closing around me like a crocodile. Sorry. But, that's what it feels like sometimes.

"I know you have," he acknowledged. "The thing is, we don't know what this horse has been thru in his life. How he's been

treated. He-"

"That's exactly _why_ it's too early to judge him!" I interrupted Adam mid-word. "He needs more time to get to know me!"

Adam gave me one of those looks. The one that shows he's irritated, and that he's being provoked, and is holding onto his

temper.

"Can you not interrupt me?" he said. "Please?"

"Yes. Sorry," I said. I did not want to make him any more stern that he was already. Not without at least listening to my side

of things.

"Alright," he said. "The main concern is keeping you safe. It seems as though D.C. has too many things about him that can't

really be answered. And, that makes it difficult for you to be safe with him."

I couldn't help it. I felt tears filling my eyes.

"Please don't, Adam!" I said.

"Please don't, what?" he countered.

"Make me get rid of him!" I said. "He's barely had a chance here!"

In the midst of my dramatic plea-I knew it was dramatic-Jill walked into the kitchen. I clamped my lips shut tight, and

Adam, too, was quiet. He gave Jill a somewhat of a smile, but I didn't look directly at her. I didn't want her to see me nearly crying.

"Hi," she said, all bubbly-like.

"Hi," Adam answered, leaning back in his chair a bit, and rubbing his hand on his jeans.

Jill headed to the cabinet, opening it, and pulling down a glass. She held it up, and said, "I came to get some tea."

Adam gave another brief nod, and half-smile, in acknowledgement. So, we sat there, and waited, while Jill poured

herself a glass of sweet tea, from the refrigerator, and then put the pitcher back again.

Then, instead of _going,_ as anybody with any common courtesy would do, since it was evident that there was a

serious discussion going on-Jill paused there beside the kitchen table.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

In that instant, I forgot all my good intentions towards her. I mean, _seriously?_ That was just being out and out nosy.

"Everything's fine," Adam said.

Jill nodded a bit. "Private talk, huh?" she asked, then.

"Right," Adam said. "Private talk."

He didn't say it in a mean way or anything, but Jill must have finally connected her brain to her feet, because she

gave a half-smile, and walked back out to the living room.

Adam and I looked back at each other again, and he said, "The horse needs more experienced handling than what you can do."

"That's what Evan thinks, huh?" I asked, feeling upset and now _mad,_ too.

"It's what _I_ think," he corrected me. "And Brian agrees. Don't be blaming Evan. He's just concerned about you getting

hurt."

I bit at my lower lip, waiting for him to say that D.C. had to be taken to the auction.

"What we've decided is-that you won't ride him out in the pasture at all, and not even in the corral unless somebody's out

there with you. For awhile, though, Evan's gonna be the one riding him. When he's done some work with the horse, then we'll see

about you riding him again in the corral. But, until we say differently, you're to steer clear of him." He paused, and when I was silent, he prompted me, "Harlie?"

I nodded. "I thought you were gonna tell me he had to go," I said, feeling emotional and grateful at the same time.

"I hope it doesn't come to that," Adam said, and my chest tightened up again. "Let's see where Evan gets with him, and then we'll go from there. Alright?"

"Yes," I managed, my voice sounding raspy.

"Okay," he said, getting to his feet, and going to take a cup down from the cabinet, filling it with the freshly-made coffee. I got up, too,

scooting the chair back up to the table, and he came back by me, pausing.

"Better get your shower, and shot done," he said. "I want you in bed by ten tonight."

When I didn't answer immediately, he said, "Hmm?" in prompting, and I nodded in response to his directive.

He surveyed me solemnly for a couple of moments, and then said, "Comere," and pulled me into his chest to hug me.

"You alright?" he asked me. "You seem sort of emotional. Sort of _weepy."_

"I'm always like this when you get onto me," I said, and he pulled back a bit so as to look down in my face.

"Harlie-I wasn't getting onto you," he said, in protest. "This wasn't a scolding."

"It felt as though it was," I said.

"I didn't intend for it to," Adam said. He looked genuinely _regretful._

"It's okay," I said, and pressed myself back into his side so he would hug me again.

**7**

All my wonderful readers and reviewers, from wherever you are in our world, I am praying you stay well and safe. My dear mother in law passed

away last week, (not from the virus), and it was difficult, without being about to have a real funeral and support each other. Thank you to

all of you, because writing keeps me sane and happy.


	50. Putty

When I got to the vet office the next afternoon, I unlocked the door, and checked the messages, writing them down. None of

them were emergencies, mostly appointments that needed setting up. After I changed my clothes in the small bathroom, I went to stake out the horses,

and then I got busy mucking out the stalls.

Guthrie showed up by the time I was finishing up, and he helped fill the water and feed bins. After that we set out, both riding, and then

leading a second horse each, so that all four of the horses could get a bit of exercise.

We were taking one of the back roads near the vet office, when we saw Zach's blue truck. He was roaring down the street just

opposite of us, and he honked at us. Probably he was honking more at Guthrie than at me, since he and I weren't all that friendly to

one another. There was one of those big dog carriers in the bed of the truck, and at least one if not two yipping dogs were in it.

"There goes Zach," Guthrie said.

"It looks like he's gotten more dogs," I said, looking after the dust left by Zach's truck.

When Guthrie was quiet, I said, "What's he need more dogs for?"

"Huh?"

"I'm just wondering why he needs more dogs," I repeated.

"Maybe he doesn't need 'em. Maybe he _wants_ 'em," Guthrie pointed out.

"Maybe," I said.

"Look at us-we've got four dogs," Guthrie reminded me.

"Yeah. But _we're_ good people," I said.

"You really _do not_ like Zach, do ya?" Guthrie asked, shaking his head.

"Not particularly," I said. "There's not much to like. He's a big mouth."

"Well, he's not one of my favorite people, either," Guthrie admitted.

"I actually think if he hadn't taken the pup, that we might have been able to keep him," I said, as we rode along, side by side.

"Nah," Guthrie denied.

"He was starting to grow on Brian," I insisted. "He went out and got the puppy a new leash, and he was always checking on him,

and giving him bones and treats."

""Doesn't mean we would've kept him," Guthrie maintained.

I shrugged, leaning back a bit in the saddle and enjoying the sun on my face.

"Thanks for helping me out with the horses," I said.

"No problem. I didn't have much else goin' on to do."

We talked about Kristin for awhile, and how her mother was keeping Frank from returning to the trailer house. At least for

the time being. Neither Guthrie nor I had any real faith that Kristin's mother would stick by her decision.

When we'd put the horses back into their stalls, we prepared to head for home. Out in front of the vet office, I thanked

Guthrie again.

"It was fun hanging out with you for awhile," I told him. "We haven't done much together lately."

"This weekend the four of us can go out. Go bowling, or somethin'," Guthrie suggested. "I know Kristin will be good with it. Kenny, too,

right?"

"Probably he will be," I agreed. I thought briefly of talking to Guthrie about Kenny's suggestion of a promise ring. But, he was

already climbing into the cab of his truck, and saying he would see me at home.

**7**

Brian was working out front of the barn, and I slung my bag with my school clothes and my backpack over one shoulder.

I walked over to talk to him, and he greeted me without looking up from his task.

"Hey," he greeted me.

"Hi." I peered closer at the wood he was measuring that laid across the sawhorses. "What're you making?" I asked, curiously.

"I'm not sure that I'm _making_ anything," he said. "I'm _attempting_ to make a changin' table, for when the baby comes."

"Oh," I said, reaching a finger out to touch one of the pieces of wood. "What sort of wood is it?"

"It's oak."

"That'll be really nice," I said.

"Well, like I said, it's an attempt more than a certainty," Brian said. "I've never done much work with wood before."

"I'll bet it turns out beautiful," I said, loyally.

"Thanks, peach."

I looked around the yard and driveway, and saw Daniel's truck was absent. "Daniel's gone?" I asked.

"Gone to work," Brian said.

"What? He started already?" I asked, surprised.

"Yep."

"But, he just went yesterday to apply, or whatever," I said.

"I guess they're needin' help badly right now," Brian said. "Hold that end of the tape, will you?"

I stepped to the end of the board, holding the end of the measuring tape.

Brian took the measurement, marked the board with a pencil, and then tucked it behind his ear again. "Four feet," he said, almost to

himself.

"Do you have a plan or something?" I asked. "Or are you making it up as you go along?"

"If I did that, it would be a mess for sure," Brian said. "That's my plans, there," he said, and gestured to the bench beside the

barn.

I went to glance down at the paper that Brian had held down with a medium-sized rock so that it wouldn't blow away.

It showed a picture of a wooden changing table, that had a space underneath with a drawer, with lots of measurements and stuff

on the paper.

"There's a drawer underneath?" I asked him, walking back over to stand next to him.

"Yeah."

"That'd be nice to store baby clothes and stuff in," I said. "Are you going to do that part?"

"We'll see how I get along," Brian said.

"Nice," I said, approvingly.

"Thanks."

I looked toward the house, and sighed really heavily. "I guess I better get my stuff inside, and get started on my chores."

"Is the Big Bad Wolf waitin' for you inside, or something?" Brian asked, sounding amused.

"Big Bad Wolf, noooo," I drawled. "But-you know-," I paused dramatically. "_Jill." _

Brian lifted his eyes to look at me, hooking the measuring tape to his belt. "There's somethin'-" he said, and tapped

his forehead with his index finger. "In _here,_ that says I ought to discourage you from sayin' things like that."

"I'm not a bitch to her," I defended myself.

"Harlie," Brian said,

"Well, I'm not."

He was still _looking_ at me. Sort of, well, like he was trying to decide whether to give me some _direction. Or correction._ One of those.

I gave him a grin, and said, sassy, "You _know_ I have a valid point about her. I can tell you do."

"Enough," Brian said, and lifted the board, preparing to take it back into the barn, I guessed.

I knew he wasn't really irritated at me, so I said, "See you later," in a breezy tone, and started towards the house.

A whistle pierced the air, and I looked back towards him.

"Comere," he said, motioning to me with his hand.

I walked back over, and looked at him at him expectantly. "Yeah?"

"Adam says he talked to you about the horse."

All levity gone now, I felt wary immediately at that comment. Ready for defense.

"Yeah. He did," I said.

"So, you know you're not to work with him, or mess with him at all." And, it was a statement the way he said it. Not a question.

"For _right now,"_ I clarified.

"For we don't know _how long,"_ Brian clarified right back at me.

I sighed, and he immediately said, "Don't be sighin' at me that way."

I could feel this conversation had the potential to become-well, a lot less than _pleasant._ So, I took the high road, (or the more prudent

road, rather) and said, "I understand."

Brian was silent for a long moment or so, and then he came around and half-sat on the wooden saw horse.

"You know, peach, _I_ was the one there with you when you bought that horse. _I'm_ the one that drove you over there, and

allowed you to do it. It's _me_ that you asked to go and take a look at him."

Not sure just what he was driving at, I could tell that whatever it was, it was bothering him. _A lot. _

"I know that, Bri," I said.

"It would tear my heart right out of me, if you were to get hurt dealin' with D.C. I'd feel like it was my fault," Brian said.

And, just like that, I felt like crying like a darn infant. I didn't, but I sure could have.

"It wouldn't be your fault," I insisted.

"I'd _feel_ like it was, though," he said.

There was another moment or two of quiet. Mostly because I was trying not to tear up, and trying to think of

what to say.

"Do you understand how I feel?" he asked, then.

I nodded. "I understand," I said.

Brian nodded, too, and stood up. "So-we're good then, huh?"

I said yeah, that we were good, and he said 'see you later' and I headed towards the house again. Muttering to myself

all the way to the front steps. About brothers. How they could go from making you all prickly and defensive in one minute, and then,

the next minute, being just like putty in their hands.

**7**


	51. A Chris by any other name

I pushed thru the next day, not feeling the greatest. I thought about going home, I really did, but I held back. I still had

to go by and tend to the horses at the vet office. Ivy wasn't due to be back until late. I'd eaten my snacks, and my lunch, but I just felt

_off. _ Kenny and I were walking around the school grounds, after we finished lunch.

Kenny had to go check in with one of the teachers over a missing assignment, so he headed inside, just as Guthrie ambled

up to me.

"Want me to stop by the office to help with the horses again?" he offered.

"Yeah," I said.

"Okay," Guthrie said, and tossed his empty milk carton into a nearby trash can.

"Good shot," I said.

In the next instant, Guthrie was perusing me, his forehead wrinkled.

"You off?" he asked me.

Anybody overhearing would have thought he was insulting me.

"A little," I admitted. "How do you do that?"

Not answering my question of how he always knew I was feeling not so great, Guthrie demanded, "You need a candy bar?"

"I can get one," I told him. "If I have enough change with me."

Guthrie dug into the pocket of his jeans, and pulled out a crumpled dollar bill, holding it out to me.

When I didn't take it right away, he shook it at me. "Take it," he ordered.

"Bossy boots," I accused, taking the money.

As the bell began ringing, signalling everybody back to class, Guthrie said, "If you don't feel better, you oughta go home."

"Uh huh," I said.

As we parted ways inside, Guthrie said, "Get the candy bar. Be late to class if you need to."

"See you later," I said, in reply.

I did slip down to the auditorium to the vending machine, to buy a candy bar. So, then, I had to go get a tardy slip. Mrs.

Wilson can alternate between being kind and being severe on things.

Today, it appeared that she was in her severe mode.

"Why are you tardy, Harlie?" she asked me.

"I had to go downstairs to get a candy bar out of the machine," I explained.

At her raised eyebrow, I said, "I think my blood sugar is low."

She nodded, remembering then about my diabetes.

She scrawled out the tardy slip, and ended by saying, "Perhaps next time you can make better use of your lunch time, Harlie, and

get what you need before the bell rings."

I was vastly irritated by that. I really, _really,_ wished I could smart off to her, or at least not answer her at all.

I settled for, "Okay," and headed to class.

She wasn't going to get a '_yes, ma'm'_ from me.

7

When I got home that afternoon, I found Clare plucking weeds from the flowers in front of the house.

She was on her knees, working away.

"Hi," I said, walking up to her with my backpack over my arm.

"Hi," she answered. She looked up at me. There were smudges of dirt across her face.

"How was your day?" she asked me.

"It was alright. How was yours?"

"Fine. I just needed to get outside for a bit," Clare said.

I surveyed the flower bed, colorful and, it looked like, nearly weed-free.

"It looks good," I said. "Hannah used to take care of it, but she hasn't been able to much this last year."

"Hannah barely has time for anything," Clare said.

"Yeah," I said, in agreement. I laid my things on the ground, and knelt beside her, watching as she worked.

She asked me about work at the vet office, and I saw the Jeep pulling up beside the barn.

"There's Brian," I announced.

Clare stopped what she was doing, and leaned back on her heels a bit, watching Brian as he walked towards

us. He had a look of concern as he approached.

"Hey, peach," he greeted me, but his eyes were only for Clare.

"I thought you were going to rest this afternoon," Brian was saying to her.

"I couldn't seem to settle," Clare said. "So, I thought I'd come outside and do something constructive."

"You know what the doctor said," Brian told her.

"I'll rest after a bit," Clare said.

"You did enough this morning," Brian said. "Come on." He leaned down to take hold of Clare's arm, helping her to

stand. Clare's not all that big yet, with her pregnancy, but she was showing now, and it's not so easy for her to get up and

down.

"Brian, don't fuss," Clare said, in protest, but she was still smiling at him. As though he was _something special._

"I won't fuss if you don't argue," Brian said.

Clare linked her arm thru his, and they exchanged a look. It made me feel glad inside, watching them together.

7

That evening Guthrie and I were sitting in the living room, doing our homework, side by side on the couch. Supper had

been sparse with McFaddens. Adam and Brian had gone to a Cattlemen's meeting, that included supper. Daniel was at work, at his new job, and

Crane hadn't gotten home yet from his trip with Ivy. Evan and Nancy had gone somewhere with Nancy's father. So, it was

Hannah and Clare, Guthrie and I, and Jill at the table.

Jill picked at her meal, which was a simple one of tuna casserole, and salad. Adam nor Brian are neither one very fond of

tuna, so I figured we were having it since they weren't home.

"Do you not care for tuna?" Hannah asked Jill, as she poked at the tuna and noodles.

"It's fine," Jill said. "I'm just not very hungry, I guess."

Hannah nodded, and then asked about Daniel, and how he was liking his new job.

"He says he's getting used to it," Jill said. Then, in the next breath, she said, "I'm going to be picked up in the morning

by a friend of mine. I'll be gone for a couple of days."

We were all surprised into silence for a moment or so, and then Hannah said, "Is everything all right?"

"I just thought-with Daniel working so much-that it would be a good time for me to do some shopping, and have a

bit of a break," Jill said, carelessly.

Instantly, I felt my hackles rise. A _break? A break from what?_ It never occurred to me about the other obvious question, until

Guthrie spoke up.

"Is your friend from Murphys?" he asked.

Of course. I didn't think she'd been here long enough to make a friend in town. So, who was this friend? Somebody we knew?"

"Oh, no, uh uh," Jill said, in response to Guthrie's question. "My friend's from Georgia."

Again, a shock. Or surprise. Guthrie and I exchanged a sidelong glance. Somebody was driving all the way to California from

Georgia? To visit Jill?

"Oh. And you're going to be gone overnight?" Hannah asked.

"Yes. We thought we'd go to Sacramento, and see the sights. And shop a bit, like I said," Jill said. She looked across the table

at Clare. "Do you need anything while I'm out and about at the baby stores? If so, I can get it for you."

"I don't think so, but thank you," Clare said. "Brian and I are still trying to decide on what all we're going to buy new for the baby, or

what we're going to try to find that's used."

I looked at Hannah, wondering what she was thinking of it all. After supper, Jill went off outside, saying she was going to sit

and hold Pepe. Her fascination with the skunk still puzzled me.

Clare went to bathe Isaac, and get him ready for bed. Guthrie and I were helping clear up the table, and to my surprise, it as

Guthrie who brought up the topic of Jill and her plans.

"Pretty rough," he said. "Daniel workin' long hours, and she's off to the city to go to a mall."

"Yeah," I echoed, in agreement.

"She's entitled to do something in her free time if she wants to," Hannah pointed out.

"All she _has_ is free time," I muttered.

"Be kind," Hannah said. I thought to me, but she looked at Guthrie, too, as she wiped the table with a dishcloth. "Both of you."

"Don't you ever get _fed up?"_ I asked. "I mean-with everything."

"Of course I do," she said.

Guthrie and I exchanged a glance, as he kept on washing the dishes, and I dried them.

"You sure don't show it," I said.

"You don't want me ranting and raving around here, do you?" Hannah pointed out, with humor in her eyes.

"No," I said.

"Nope," Guthrie said.

"Well, and I don't think that Adam would like it, if I did, either," Hannah said, still looking amused.

"I think she's taking advantage," I said. "Of Daniel, for sure, and of _you, too."_

"Yep. Agree," Guthrie said.

Hannah paused in her task of wiping the cabinets, and turned serious, taking Guthrie and I into her blue gaze.

"I don't want to see Daniel taken advantage of, any more than you two do," Hannah said. "All we can do about that, though,

is support him, and hope for the best. As far as I go, you're both sweet to worry over me. But, it's not necessary."

"You're too nice, Hannah," Guthrie said, in a definite way.

"Oh, is that a thing?" Hannah asked. "Being _too nice?" _ She reached out and rubbed Guthrie's hair.

"He just means that we don't want anybody walking all over you," I said.

"Nobody is walking on me. Nobody is taking advantage," Hannah insisted.

"Anybody home?" came a call from the front door, along with the thud of a bag being set on the floor.

"Crane's home," I said, and the three of us went to greet him.

We talked to him for awhile, with Hannah asking him if he'd eaten yet, and I asked him how Ivy's father was

doing. After that we sat around the living room, the four of us talking, and Clare came down to join us, toting Isaac with her.

And, then, Jill returned, from the barn and her visit with Pepe.

I was sitting next to Crane, doing my homework, and listening to all the conversation, when Jill sat down across from

us, on the other sofa.

I had the sudden thought of wondering if the 'friend' that Jill was meeting was a female or a male. If she was meeting another

guy, that wasn't right.

Into a lull of the conversation, I asked, quietly, "What's your friend's name?"

Jill was sipping at a soda, and she said, "Chris. Chris Weston."

Okay, was she serious? Chris. That could be either female or male. I felt stymied.

"Have you been friends for a long time?" I went on.

"Oh, gosh, Chris and I have been friends forever, it seems like," Jill said, and then announced she was starving, and

went off to the kitchen.

"Bat shit," I muttered.

Crane, at my left elbow, said, mildly, "Harlie," in censure.

"She's going out of town tomorrow for overnight with a _friend,"_ I told him, lowering my voice.

"Not your business," Crane told me.

"Aren't you even a little curious?" I asked him.

"No. And you shouldn't be, either."

"What if it's another guy, though?" I asked him, softly.

Crane turned from his writing in a notebook that he'd been doing, and looked at me.

"You don't know that," he said.

I whispered now, "But, _Chris?_ It could be."

Crane reached out, and tapped my open trigonometry book.

"Homework, Harlie," he said.

7


	52. Sometimes

Jill had her overnight bag packed, and was ready to leave after breakfast. Daniel had already gone before the sun was even up.

That made three days that I hadn't seen him. He was gone before I got up, and home after I went to bed.

Jill said she would appreciate a ride into Murphys, where her friend would be picking her up.

"There's not many places in Murphys that are good for waiting in," Adam spoke up, from his end of the table.

"I thought we'd meet at the cafe-the one Daniel took me to. It's owned by your friend, isn't it?" Jill asked.

"Marie, yeah," Adam answered.

"Well, that's where we're meeting at," Jill said. "That's what we arranged."

Adam nodded and said no more.

"Guthrie, would you be able to give me a ride into town on your way to school?" Jill asked.

"Sure. Okay," Guthrie said, standing to take his plate to the sink. "I'll be ready to go in about ten minutes. That okay?"

"Yes. I'll get my bag," Jill said, scooting away from the table.

"Gotta get my stuff," Guthrie said, and left the kitchen.

I was stuffing my backpack with books when Adam came into the living room, along with Crane.

"Ready to go?" Adam asked me.

"Almost."

"Homework finished?" Crane asked.

"Uh huh," I said. I finished what I was doing, and when I slung the backpack over my shoulder, and looked up, they

were both looking at me. Sort of studying me, I felt like. Contemplating.

"Why are you both looking at me like that?" I asked.

Adam stepped towards the screen door, beckoning to me. "Let's step out on the porch," he said.

I followed Adam, and Crane followed me, pulling the door closed.

Once out on the porch, I regarded them both, puzzled.

"What?" I asked.

Crane spoke first. "You're not planning to be late to school, are you?"

I wrinkled my forehead. "Huh?"

A sudden, swift thought occurred to me. I wished later that I would have just shut up. "Are you kidding?" I asked. "It wasn't that

big of a deal."

Now, it was Crane who looked confused. "What wasn't that big of a deal?" he asked.

I stared at him, while he gave me the same puzzled look as I'd given him.

"This is some sort of conversation," Adam said, into the momentary silence. "Mighty hard to follow along with."

"Well, what did _you_ mean?" I asked Crane.

"I want to make sure you weren't planning to hang around Marie's, to get a look at this friend of Jill's," Crane said.

Okay. He'd managed to surprise me.

"I never even thought of it," I said, feeling indignant.

After a moment, Crane said, "Okay."

Now my ire was up, though. "Wow," I said. "Just _wow." _ I made no effort to hide the insult in my voice.

"It's not out of the realm of imagining," Adam said. "Given the way that your mind works. And given how protective you

are of Daniel."

"Well, I'm not going to," I protested.

"Alright," Crane said. "That's good." When it looked as though he was getting ready to say something more, the doors opened and

Guthrie came out, followed by Jill, carrying her small bag.

"Well, I'll see you all later, then," Jill said.

Adam and Crane both said goodbye to her, and then to Guthrie.

"Have a good day, Guth," Adam said.

I turned to go, too, saying a general, "Bye."

"Hold up," Adam told me, and I paused at the bottom of the porch steps, looking up at him and Crane.

"I need to go, too," I protested.

"Just hold up," he repeated.

I sighed, and waited, as they both came down the stairs, and Guthrie drove away, with Jill in the seat beside him.

"I don't have any other sins to confess," I said. "Real _or_ presumed."

I could tell that neither one of them cared overmuch for my sassy tone.

"Harlie Marie," Adam said.

"Well-" I said, in defense. "It's not a great start to the day. I wasn't going to skulk around, trying to spy on

Jill."

Crane reached out to cup my cheek in his hand. "I'm sorry for thinking that you had it in mind," he said, quietly. "It was my

mistake. Alright?"

It's impossible to stay mad at Crane. Or for very long, anyway. And, he was sorry. I could tell.

"Alright," I agreed.

"What was it that 'wasn't that big of a deal'?" Adam asked me.

"I had to get a tardy slip after lunch yesterday. Mrs. Wilson decided to be a grizzly bear about it. I thought you heard about

that or something."

"My ears aren't quite that good," Adam said. "Why'd you need a tardy slip?"

"I went to the vending machine to get a candy bar," I said.

"Blood sugar?" Adam asked.

When I nodded, Adam frowned. "Mrs. Wilson shouldn't have anything to say about that. She knows about your diabetes. Did

you explain that's what it was for?"

"Yes, Adam, I explained," I said, feeling a bit amused. He'd done a turn-around, and now was ready to do battle for

me. "You know how Mrs. Wilson can be sometimes. It's alright."

"You ought to have some extra snacks in your locker at school," Adam went on. "So, they're easier to get to when you need them."

"I'll grab a couple candy bars at lunch and stick in the top of the locker," I promised.

Once I got to the high school, I waited outside, wanting to see Guthrie. He came only about five minutes or so after

me, and I walked over to greet him.

"Did you drop Jill off?" I asked him.

"No, I brought her to school with me," Guthrie said, in sarcasm. He gestured to the empty truck cab. "Don't you see her,

sittin' in there?"

I didn't even respond to his silliness.

"Did you see this friend of hers?" I demanded.

"Nope. Stopped in front, and she got out and went inside the cafe."

"Oh," I said, disappointed.

Guthrie gave me a look of understanding. "From what she was sayin', I don't think her friend was gonna get there to pick her up

until nine or so, anyway."

"She probably planned it that way," I surmised. "So none of us would see anything."

"I don't think she's gonna do anything dumb like cheat on Daniel," Guthrie said.

"Why do you think that?"

"I just don't think she will," Guthrie said, again, as we walked towards the school building, merging with the other kids arriving.

We didn't have any opportunity to talk about it more right then.

At lunch Kenny told me that he and his parents were going to his grandma's again that weekend. To spend the night this time on

Saturday night. They were going to help her do some landscaping all day on Saturday and would stay overnight and leave Sunday

morning to return home.

_After,_ Kenny told me, that Gram Ida had fixed them a huge breakfast.

"She won't send anybody home without feedin' them up first," Kenny said. He was smiling as he talked about Gram Ida,

and I smiled, too. I'd liked her very much.

"She asked about you, when she called," Kenny told me.

"She did? That's so nice," I said.

Kenny reached over and took my hand, under the table. "You think you could come along again with us?" he asked, sounding

hopeful. "Mom suggested it, and I know Gram would be real happy if you did."

I considered, liking the idea. It would be like a mini-vacation, almost. Even if I helped with the landscaping, or with the meal

preparations, which I would certainly do, it would still be like a vacation. I found that I quite enjoyed being treated like I was

something special, the way that Kenny's mom and grandma did. And, plus, it would be nice, just to be with Kenny and doing something

out of the ordinary realm of my weekends.

"I'll ask," I said.

"Great," Kenny said, squeezing my hand.

When I got to the vet office that afternoon, Ivy was up to her elbows in work. In more ways than one. She actually had her

arm inside of a mare, doing a pregnancy check.

"Is this one of the Clark's horses?" I asked, quietly, so as not to upset the mare. I figured if she had a human's hand inside

of her, she didn't need any more disturbance.

"Yes. One of the Clark's," Ivy said, twisting a bit to get a better angle.

"Is she bred?" I asked.

"I'm sure she is. Come over here, Harlie."

I walked over to where Ivy stood, behind the mare, thinking she needed me to fetch something, or to hand her something.

"Grab a glove," she told me, and when I'd done that, she told me to put it on.

Still not grasping, I did that, and she stepped aside.

"Do you want to try?" she asked me.

I gave her a wide-eyed look. "Seriously?" I asked.

"Yes. Seriously," Ivy said, with a smile, her green eyes sparkling. "No time like the present, is there?"

"I don't know what to do," I said, in semi-protest. I wanted to take this opportunity, (if that's what you wanted to call it), but, I

was nervous about it.

"I'll guide you," Ivy said, not sounding concerned about my hesitation.

So she did. Guide me, I mean. She told me what to do, and what to feel for. She told me about the uterine tone, the shape of the

uterus, and the presence of the sac containing baby.

"Can you feel it?" she asked me.

"I think so, but I'm not sure," I admitted. And then, I thought I did. "I think I feel the sac!" I said, in sudden excitement.

When I'd removed my gloved hand from the mare, it turned it's head to give me a look. As if to say. '_the indignancy of it all!'_

"That was incredible," I said, feeling humbled.

In understanding, Ivy nodded. "We're a small, select group of females, Harlie. We, who consider putting our hand up a mare's backside

as an incredible thing."

That struck me as hilarious. Both the truth of it, and the way that Ivy said it so comically.

I burst into laughter, and she joined in, and soon we were nearly doubled over in fits of giggles.

7

When I got home, I saw Guthrie, already home from school, helping to hold some of the wood that Brian was

using a power saw to cut. I left my stuff on the ground beside my truck, and ran over to them.

"You won't believe it!" I announced.

"Hold that," Brian told Guthrie. "Right there. What won't we believe?" he asked me.

"I got to pregnancy check a mare today!"

"Are you kiddin'?" Guthrie asked.

"No, I'm not kidding. I really did! And, I felt the sac and everything!"

"Real exciting, Har," Guthrie said, obviously not terribly impressed.

"It was exciting," I told him. "Have _you_ ever done it?"

"I've had my arm up a cow's ass," Guthrie said. "Isn't that right, Brian?"

"That's right," Brian said, looking mildly amused.

"A cow and a mare are two _entirely_ different beings," I said.

"Uh huh," Guthrie said, and I gave him a shove, causing the metal ruler and measuring tape to fall from the saw horses.

"Hey," he protested, as he stooped to pick them up.

"That's good, peach," Brian said. "Sounds like it was a good afternoon for you."

"It was," I said, in satisfaction, giving Guthrie another push. "Even if certain people don't know what they're talking about-"

"Quit," Guthrie ordered, sounding irritated.

"What if I don't wanna quit?" I challenged. I was feeling like having a good go-round with Guthrie. We never really do it in anger,

and it usually ends with him pinning me until I promise to leave him be. It's a good way to work off energy.

"Leave Guthrie alone," Brian ordered.

I didn't hear a level much above three in Brian's tone, and I doubled up my fists in mock fighting stance.

"Come on, Guth," I challenged. "Let's see what you've got-" I gave him a fist punch to his upper arm.

"I mean, it, Har, stop," Guthrie said. "I don't feel like it."

"Harlie. That's enough," Brian said.

"I'm just trying to have some fun," I protested.

"If you're that full of vinegar, I'm sure there's some extra chores around here that need doing," Brian said.

"I don't need any extra chores," I said, backing down, and turning to walk back over to where I'd left my backpack on

the ground.

I stopped at the bottom of the porch steps to holler back over at Guthrie, with one last jab, "I'll be ready when you find

your nerve, Guthrie!"

I was laughing at myself, and just how funny I really was-when Guthrie broke into a sprint and began to cross the yard

towards me at an alarming rate of speed. I dropped my backpack, and began to run.

7


	53. Bits and pieces

I ran, and I ran fast. I'm no slouch at running, I'm proud to say. But, as hard as it is to say it, and as much as feminists don't want

to _admit_ it, there's mostly no way that a girl can outrun a guy. Especially if _said guy_ was intent on catching you.

I ran around the house, once, and then again, and Guthrie nearly got me because he doubled back, but I saw him in time,

and screeched to a halt, and then burst into a run again. To the back yard, and around the picnic table, dodging him from the

other side. I rested my hands on the rough wood, trying to catch my breath, between laughing.

Hannah had come out the back door, an empty laundry basket in her hand. I didn't want to take my eyes off Guthrie, but I could see

Hannah out of the corner of my eye, and I knew she was standing there, watching us.

"What are you two up to?" she asked.

I couldn't answer, I was still trying to catch my breath. But Guthrie said, "Har and I are gonna have words, here in a minute."

He didn't, I was vexed to notice, sound even out of breath.

"No-" I said, breathing hard. "No-we are-not."

"Shouldn't have started what you can't finish, Har," he said.

"I can-finish," I said, still gulping for air.

"You two," Hannah said, sounding somewhat amused, with an undertone of chiding. I was conscious of her walking on, to the

clothesline to begin taking down the jeans hanging there.

Guthrie began edging his way around the table to me.

"Got your breath back?" Guthrie asked me, a glint his eye.

"Anytime you're ready," I challenged. I was off again, heading towards the orchard, but I didn't make it far. Guthrie overtook me,

and he reached out to grab me. He snaked an arm around me, lifting me off my feet, and squeezing my middle until I was

even more breathless than before.

I was hollering at him to stop, as best as I could.

Brian came walking, from the barn to the back yard, slowly. I wished he wouldn't walk so slowly, so he could come and make

Guthrie put me down. That way, it wouldn't be that I've _given in._ It would be that Guthrie had been made to stop. So it would

be a draw. A tie.

Brian, though, instead of issuing an order to Guthrie to stop-stood watching us. An expression of somewhat amusement on his

face.

"Looks like it's Guthrie, 1, and Harlie, 0," he said. "What do you think, Hannah?"

Hannah, holding the basket full of dried jeans, came to stand beside Brian. "I'd say so," she said, in agreement.

"Say you give up," Guthrie ordered.

Laughing still, I mumbled something at him.

"Can't hear ya," Guthrie said, not letting go.

Finally I gave in, and said that 'I gave up' and he turned me loose.

Getting my breath back, I gave Brian a look. "You could've helped me, you know," I told him.

"You brought it on yourself," Brian said, with no apparent sympathy.

**7 **

I figured I would talk to Hannah, and to Clare, too, about being invited along with Kenny and his parents to spend the

night at his grandma's on Saturday. If Hannah was supportive, I figured that would go a long way to helping Adam get to a 'yes'

answer. I did my outside chores quick, and then went upstairs to wash up and change.

Back downstairs in the kitchen, they were both sitting at the kitchen table, folding the dried jeans and another basket of

Isaac's tiny shirts and socks.

"Where's Scooter?" I asked, going to get a drink of water.

"Adam has him, out riding in the Jeep, checking fences," Hannah said.

"Oh. I bet he'll like that," I said.

I went to the cabinet to start to pull down plates.

First, I told them about my afternoon with Ivy, and about the pregnant mare.

"You never cease to amaze me, toots," Clare said.

"I agree. After more than five years in this family, I'm still amazed by the things you do," Hannah said. She looked proud,

not grossed out, or anything like that.

Their approval and compliments made me feel warm inside. Warm, and capable.

"Thanks," I said. I set the plates down in a stack, and went to begin counting out silverware.

I told them both about the invitation. Clare, as was typical, didn't say a whole lot to begin with. Hannah, also typically, was somewhere

between wary, and considering.

"I don't know, Harlie," she said. "You were just there last weekend," she reminded me.

"Yes, but his mom asked that I come again. And his grandma, too. They like having me."

"I'm sure they do," Hannah agreed. She hesitated. "I'm not sure what Adam will say. It's unusual-staying overnight

at the home of a relative of your boyfriend."

"But, other girls do it," I pointed out. "I know for a fact that at least three girls in my class have stayed with grandmas of their

boyfriends. It would be okay, Hannah," I persisted. "Really, it would."

"You'll have to talk to Adam."

"I will."

"Well-" she was saying, as we heard voices and boot steps coming up the back walk.

"Will you be there when I ask him?" I asked, really fast.

"We'll see," she said, without committing, and the kitchen began to fill up.

Adam was carrying Isaac, and went over to the sink, washing Isaac's and then his own hands.

"Did he have fun?" Hannah asked, as she and Clare began to move the folded clothes.

"He sure did," Adam said. "He was laughin' the whole time."

"Oh, that's good," Hannah said, sounding glad.

I began to set the table, and Clare helped, as we laid plates and silverware at the chairs of who would be at supper.

Brian, coming in, announced that Nancy and Evan were riding in, on a four-wheeler.

"I'll get more plates," I said.

Crane was absent from the table, as was Daniel, of course, since he was at work. Even without them, and without Jill,

there was still nine of us at the table.

After supper, I spent some time talking to Nancy. We were sitting outside, on the top step of the front porch. She talked

about work for awhile, and then I told her about wanting to go with Kenny on the weekend.

"Hmm," Nancy said, looking thoughtful.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing-it's just, well, maybe you should talk to Hannah about it."

"I did."

"What did she say?"

"She wasn't thrilled with the idea," I admitted. "But, she said to talk to Adam."

"Hmm," she said, again, and I gave her a sideways glance.

"What would your parents have said? I mean, at my age, not at yours," I asked.

"Well, my mom had already passed away at that point. When I was your age, I mean. So, it would have been up to

my dad. But, I wasn't dating anybody in particular then. I didn't have my first serious boyfriend until my senior year."

"Who was that?" I asked, curious.

"Thad Holland. Do you know him?"

"Is he that really tall guy with the black hair?" I asked.

"Uh huh."

"Well, what would your dad have said if you'd wanted to be gone overnight to Thad's grandma's house?" I asked.

"I would have been 17, Harlie."

"So, seventeen isn't that far from sixteen," I pointed out.

"I don't think my dad would have said too much," Nancy said. "He probably would have been fine with it."

"That's cool!" I said, feeling hopeful for my own situation.

"Don't get too excited, Harlie," Nancy cautioned. "My dad wasn't all that strict-"

"Don't get too excited about _what?"_ a voice asked, from behind us. Evan. He'd come out without us hearing him.

"What are you doing, sneaking up on us?" Nancy asked, reaching up to take his hand, and smiling.

"I wasn't sneakin', you were just too involved in your girly talkin' to hear me," Evan teased.

"Ready to go home?" Nancy asked him.

"Yeah. If you are," Evan said.

Nancy got to her feet, and I stood up, as well. As they stood together, holding hands, Evan said, "So what's

up with you?"

"Me? Nothing," I said, wiping my hands on my jeans.

In other words, whatever you two were talkin' about is none of my business, huh?" Evan said, grinning.

I waved my hand at him in dismissal. "See ya, Nanc," I told her, going to open the screen door.

"See you," Nancy echoed.

I was nearly inside when Evan paused at the bottom of the steps, and said, "You're leaving D.C. alone, right?"

"Yes, Evan," I said, rolling my eyes upward. "For this particular moment, I am doing exactly that."

"Best be more than just a moment," he said, frowning at me.

"Uh huh," I said.

"I'm gonna be workin' with him real soon," Evan went on. "I just haven't had time yet-"

"Okay. I know you're busy," I said.

Adam came out, then, the screen door squeaking. "Headin' out?" he asked Evan.

"Yeah." They turned to talk to each other for a moment. Something about whether Evan could bring some extra wire that

had been stored up at the cabin's shed.

Nancy and Evan started out across the yard toward Nancy's little red car.

When they said goodnight, and were driving towards the lane leading to the cabin, Adam leaned against

the porch post, and looked up at the sky. Standing there beside him, I studied him.

"You okay?" I asked him.

He looked at me in a surprised way. "Me? Yeah, I'm okay. Why?"

"I just wondered," I said. "You look sort of tired."

"Oh, I'm alright," Adam said. "It's been a long day, is all."

I nodded, and went to peek inside, hoping to see Hannah in the living room. I figured, even if Adam was tired, that I

might as well get the asking about the weekend with Kenny over and done. And, it would be good if Hannah was nearby.

Sure enough, Hannah was coming from the kitchen to the living room, and preparing to sit down on the couch.

I opened the door just a smidge. "Hannah," I said, and motioned to her.

When she came out, and stood beside Adam and I, he wrinkled his forehead.

"What goes on?" he asked. "You two up to something?"

"Certainly not," Hannah said. "I'm too tired to get up to anything." She smiled up at him.

"How about you?" Adam asked, turning to me, his eyes crinkling at the corners with a smile.

"I'm not up to anything," I said. "I just want to ask you something."

"Okay," he said, waiting.

"Kenny's mom and his grandma have asked me to come this weekend to visit. Kenny and his dad are going to do

some landscaping at her house on Saturday."

Adam wasn't saying anything, so I talked on. "His grandma really wants me to come. Kenny said so."

"Finish telling him," Hannah said, and Adam looked between her and then me.

"There's more?" he asked.

"They're going to spend the night Saturday, since they're going to be working most of the day, and then come home

after breakfast Sunday morning," I said.

Adam lifted an eyebrow. "Oh."

I watched him, knowing I couldn't rush him, but it was hard, because I could see his thoughts turning in

his mind.

"You were just there last weekend," he said, finally.

"I know. But, they want me to come again. They really do."

And, then, he said _it_. "I don't like the idea of you spending the night," he said, flatly.

"It's properly supervised, and all, Adam," I said, feeling irritated, but trying not to show it.

"I'm not doubting that," he said.

"Then what?" I persisted.

Adam pushed himself off the porch post, and looked to Hannah. "You know about this, I take it?" he said.

"Harlie mentioned it to me earlier," Hannah said.

They seemed to exchange a look that spoke without any words. I hadn't expected Hannah to rally her support

loudly or anything, but I was still disappointed that she didn't speak up more.

"What is it that you don't like about it?" I asked, trying not to show impatience. "It's a big house-I'm sure there's

more than one guest room."

"Let me think about it," Adam said, without answering my question about what it was that he disliked.

"It's no different-me staying there overnight, than it is when Kristin stays here," I pointed out.

"Harlie." That was all he said. But, it had the touch of a warning to it.

"It's not. She's Guthrie's girlfriend. And she sleeps here, in the same house as him," I persisted.

"Enough," he said.

I closed my mouth around my next objection.

"I can say no right now," Adam said. "If you like." Ah. A larger warning.

"No," I said. "I mean-I don't want you to do that." I subsided, giving him what I hoped seemed like a contrite look.

I looked to Hannah, pleading silently.

"We'll talk about it, and let you know," she told me. And smiled, her eyes kind.

"Okay," I said, with less grace than I should have.

**7**

I stayed quiet the rest of the evening. We sat around the living room together, the ones of us at home. Guthrie

made popcorn, with several bowls, and we snacked as we did our homework, sitting on the floor and leaning against

the couch. Adam and Hannah were on one end of the couch, and Brian and Clare were on the other opposite couch.

Adam was holding Isaac on his lap, looking at a baby book with him. One of those board books that make it easy for the

baby to get hold of. Adam was pointing out the animals to Isaac, and Isaac was chortling in glee. I couldn't help

enjoying the fact that Jill was absent. It was nice. Restful. Not having her flittering around, on the edge, but yet

right in the thick of things. Listening. Putting in her two cents on every conversation.

"What time does Daniel get home from work tonight?" I asked, in a general way, to no one in particular.

"I think he gets off at ten," Brian said.

"Ten?" I said, thinking. "And, he has to drive almost two hours after that?" _So, I figured, he would be home around midnight,_

_or a bit before._

"Poor Daniel," Hannah said. "He has to be getting exhausted. Have you talked to him this week?" she asked Adam.

"Just for a few minutes yesterday morning," Adam said. "Caught him as he was leaving at five."

"How was he?" Hannah asked, sounding concerned.

I saw Adam's moment of hesitation. "He seemed fine," he said.

"Was he?" Hannah asked, sounding uncertain. "Do you think he's eating?"

"It's only been a few days, Hannah," Adam said, reaching over to squeeze her hand.

"I know. But, I worry about him," Hannah said.

"He'll be alright," Adam said.

"He has to make his own way," Brian said, but then he looked down quickly, and I thought it seemed as though he

was trying to convince himself as well.

**7**


	54. Chat and chocolate milk

I decided to wait up for Daniel. I _missed_ him. It had been days since I'd actually spoken to him, or laid eyes on him, even though we were

sleeping in the same house. He was up and gone before I left for school, or else he was sleeping because he'd only just

gotten home. And then, he got home long after I was asleep at night.

I kept my plans to myself. If it had been a weekend night, they might not have said much about it, but, being as how

it was a school night, somebody would have nipped it in the bud. So, I went off to bed at the usual time, and set my alarm for

eleven just in case I fell asleep within the hour.

But, I didn't go to sleep. I just read my latest library book, watching the time. At a little after eleven, I went down the back

stairs, really quietly, to the kitchen. I made a mammoth sandwich. The sort that Crane calls a _Dagwood. _ I used a thick slice of

ham, and cheese, with a slice of tomato, a slice of onion, and tiny sweet pickles and slathered the bread with Miracle Whip. I put some

chips on the same plate, and filled a glass with milk, stirring in some of the chocolate syrup that we hardly ever have around. Daniel

really _really_ likes chocolate milk.

I took the glass and the plate of food, and went out to the living room. I decided to wait for him outside on the porch,

as long as I could keep the dogs quiet. As a second plan of action, I went back to the kitchen, and took another piece of

ham out with me, intending to parcel it out to the dogs.

I closed the door to the living room and sat down in the porch swing to wait.

Gus and Warrior came round immediately, to sit with me. I knew Fat Clarence was likely around at the back door, and

Jethro Bodine likes to sleep in the barn. I tore off bits of the ham and fed it to Gus and Warrior. Gus sat at my feet politely, but

Warrior hopped up into the swing to sit beside me, nearly on my lap. There were lots of stars out tonight. An old blanket had

been left in the swing from when somebody else had been out here recently. I was glad because it was getting a bit cooler, and

it felt good to be wrapped up in it. Even though it smelled sort of musty.

I hadn't turned on the porch light, choosing instead to stay in the dark with only light from the moon. I'd brought out

a flashlight, to help guide Daniel up the stairs. When I saw the headlights of a vehicle coming up the road, I figured it had to be Daniel.

It was, and he turned into the driveway, coming up. He parked over to the side, where he usually does, and I heard Jethro give one half-hearted bark. Obviously, he recognized Daniel, so he didn't put a lot of energy into it.

Gus got up, and padded down the stairs and across the yard. I heard Daniel say, softly, "Hey, Gussie," in greeting.

He was at the foot of the stairs, Gus behind him, when I thought I'd better speak up, so as not to startle him.

"Hi, Daniel," I said, softly. I flicked the flashlight on, and turned it onto the steps.

Daniel followed it, coming up. "What are you doin' up, and out here, squirt?" he asked.

"Waiting for you," I said, simply.

"Oh, yeah?" he said. He paused beside the swing. "How come?"

"Because I wanted to actually _talk_ to you," I said. "I haven't seen you in days."

"Yeah. It's been some crazy hours," Daniel said, sounding tired.

"I made you something to eat," I reported, and shined the flashlight on the plate and glass that were sitting on the

porch table to the side.

"What is that?" he asked, stepping closer. "Looks like a Dagwood-"

"That's what it is. Ham and cheese. I even put an onion on it. And pickles. And, look-" I gave the flashlight another

place to focus. "Chocolate milk."

"Well, damn," he said. "Move your dog so I can sit down."

I ushered Warrior from the spot beside me, and Daniel sat down. I handed him the plate.

"I'll hold the milk, so you can eat," I offered, knowing it would take both hands for him to hold that sandwich.

"Okay." He settled the plate on his lap, and picked up the sandwich, biting into it.

"That's a good sandwich right there," he said, chewing.

I felt sort of warm inside. Daniel seemed so appreciative. Just of having a sandwich made for him. He took a couple of drinks

from the chocolate milk and handed it back to me as he continued eating.

"How'd you manage the chocolate milk?" he asked.

"Some Hersheys syrup that I pushed way to the back of the fridge before I went to bed. So Guthrie would think it was all

gone, and I could save it for you," I shared triumphantly.

"You're my favorite sister, you know that?" he said, and I giggled at the old joke.

"Do you like your job?" I asked. "Or do you know yet?"

"I'd say I'm still gettin' used to it. I think it's gonna be alright."

"What do you do, exactly?" I asked.

"I do maintenance on boilers, some diesel engines."

"Oh. So-it's like being a mechanic, sort of?"

"Yeah. Like that."

"Well, you were always the best mechanic in the family," I said, loyally.

"Thanks, squirt," he said. He'd finished off the sandwich, and was eating the chips, holding the glass in his other hand.

The moon was so very bright, I could even see his profile.

He didn't mention Jill being gone off with her friend overnight, and so I didn't mention it, either.

He asked me what was new with me, and I told him about helping the colt be born at Ivy's, and about how Kenny had

asked me to go on the weekend to his grandma's for the night.

I finished by saying, in frustration, "And Adam says he has to think about it. That he doesn't like the thought of me

spending the night."

"Well-at least he's thinkin' about it," Daniel pointed out.

"Yeah. But, it's ridiculous. There's no reason I shouldn't get to," I said, stubbornly.

"Hmmm," he said.

I wondered at that. "You think it's alright, don't you?" I asked him.

"Don't bring me into this, brat," he chided me. "I won't be around to say whether I think it's alright or not-"

"I know."

"Adam has the final say-so. You know that."

"I know. I'm just asking what you think," I said.

"Well-" he paused, as though in thought. "I know you don't wanna hear this-but I don't think, if it was up to me, that

I'd let you go."

"What? Why?" I asked, disappointed.

"I think it's puttin' a lot of pressure where there doesn't need to be any," he said.

"What does that mean?" I asked, sitting up straighter and feeling indignant.

"I told ya you wouldn't want to hear it."

"What do you mean?" I asked, again.

"This thing with you and Kenny-it seems to have happened fast," Daniel said.

"That's crazy," I protested. "I've known Kenny since the beginning of _time_, practically."

"I know. But, the dating part of things, the relationship part of it, that's happened quick."

For a split moment, I wondered what Daniel would say if he knew that Kenny had offered me a promise ring. I knew, instinctively,

that he wouldn't care for it.

"If Kenny and I really wanted to have sex, it could be anywhere," I pointed out. "It's ridiculous to predict it

happening just because we're both at his grandma's house. That's stupid."

"I don't think anybody's predictin' anything. It's just concern, squirt. Don't get all het up."

I sighed, and was quiet. Daniel tipped the glass up to finish what was left. Into the quiet, he said, softly, "Don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you," I said.

And, I wasn't. Not really. Irked, yes. But, I wasn't mad at him. Partly, because I saw so little of him that I didn't want

to fuss with him. And, also, partly because I knew how worn out he had to be, working so many hours, and then

driving far on top of that. And his foolish choice of a girlfriend was off somewhere, having a great time.

"I need to be gettin' to bed," he said. "Another long day tomorrow." He stood up, and added, "You, too. You'll be

too tired in the mornin'."

"Yeah," I said, in agreement and stood up, as well.

We went inside, quietly, and to the kitchen, where Daniel switched on the light over the sink, and he put his plate and

glass in the sink. When he switched off the light again, we went up the back stairs in the dark, by years of knowing the

steps, even in the lack of light. Upstairs, in the hallway, there was the nightlight to see by.

At the doorway of the bedroom he was sharing with Crane, he reached a hand out to cup at the back of my neck, holding me

in place.

"Thanks for the sandwich. And the chocolate milk," he said, quietly, so as not to wake anybody up, and giving me a grin. "It hit the spot."

"You're welcome," I said, just as quietly.

"And, for the company, too," he added. "It was nice, you waitin' up like that."

"It's okay," I said. When I thought of all the things that Daniel's done for me, over the years of my life, it was

a small thing for me to have done.

He pulled me in, and kissed my forehead. "Get sleep," he said.

I caught the front of his shirt in my fingers, just gently, to hold him still. "You tell me that Kenny and I happened fast," I said.

"Uh huh," he said, waiting for me to go on.

"That's the pot calling the kettle black," I said, in a near-whisper. "You know that, right?"

_Referring, of course, to the swiftness of his relationship with Jill._

Daniel gave me a _look,_ and then the corners of his eyes crinkled in a half-smile. "Don't be a smart-ass," he said, low, and

reached out to pat my cheek.

**7**


	55. Whispers in the kitchen

Jill was back again, the next afternoon when I got home. She was upstairs, in the room she was staying in, (I wouldn't call it

_her room),_ is what Hannah told me when went into the kitchen.

"Did her friend bring her home?" I asked, in curiousity.

"No. She called for a ride, and Crane went to pick her up in town," Hannah said.

"It's like she was hiding this friend of hers from everybody," I said. "Otherwise she would have had them bring her

back home instead of having Crane give her a ride."

"Harlie," Hannah said, without looking up from her task of chopping fruit for the fruit salad she was preparing.

"Think about it," I coaxed, going to the cabinet to take down a glass, and filling it with water.

"I have thought about it," Hannah said, unexpectedly.

"Really?" I asked, surprised a bit by her sharing that with me, instead of just telling me flat-out to quit.

Now Hannah looked up, and met my eyes. "Of course," she said, quietly. "I worry about Daniel, too, you know."

"I know you do," I said.

"It's not going to help anything sitting and thinking of scenarios of what we're worried about," Hannah said.

"I guess," I said. I leaned against the cabinet, drinking my water, and said, "I talked to Daniel when he got home from

work last night," I confided.

"You did?" she asked.

I nodded. "He was hungry, too. I fixed him a sandwich."

"I'm glad you did that," Hannah said, and smiled at me. "But, I have to add the rest of it-don't make a habit of

staying up like that on a weeknight. Okay?"

"I won't do it all the time," I promised.

I set my glass in the sink and said, "I guess I better get outside to do my chores." I paused at the back door, my hand on the

door handle. "Has Adam decided about the weekend yet? About me going with Kenny and his parents?"

Hannah met my eyes, pausing in her slicing of the grapes. "You need to talk to Adam," she said, gently.

"He's gonna say 'No', isn't he?" I said, dejected. I could tell, just by the way she'd answered me.

"I'm not saying that he's one hundred percent made up his mind," Hannah said.

"But, he's leaning towards 'No'," I surmised.

"Go talk to him," Hannah said, and I knew I wasn't going to get anything more about it from her.

I went to tend to my goats, and then fed the barn cats. After that I went to take feed Pepe and give him fresh water.

I put on my gloves and took him out of the stall, and held him for a few minutes. I was sitting on the barn floor, leaning

against the stall door, holding him and talking to him, when Brian and Adam came into the barn. Brian had rope over one

shoulder.

They came in, and kept talking at first, not seeing me sitting there. When they did, Brian walked over and said, "Hey."

"Hi."

He went to hang the rope up and then said he was going in to talk to Clare.

"I'll be back out," Brian said. "You ready to head up west in about what-ten minutes?" he asked Adam.

"Ten is good," Adam said, and Brian headed towards the house.

Left in the barn with Adam, I watched as he sorted thru the shelves as though he was searching for something.

"What're you looking for?" I asked, from my spot on the floor.

"I thought there was some fence clamps here, somewhere," he said.

"Oh," I said. After a couple of minutes, he sighed, and turned away from the shelves. I guessed that he was giving

up on finding the clamps. I knew it probably wasn't the best time-since he was likely frustrated over not locating what he

was looking for. Still-there's never a _perfect_ time for asking Adam or anybody else about something important.

He looked as though he was concentrating, thinking. Probably trying to figure out where the heck the clamps had gotten to.

"Adam?" I said, and he turned to look at me.

"Hmm?"

"Have you made a decision about the weekend?"

Adam gave me a long look, and then he came over beside me, and crouched down next to me.

"I'm sayin' 'No' this time, Harlie," he said, sort of quietly.

"Nothing's going to happen, Adam," I said, in automatic protest. "Kenny respects me."

"I'm glad that he does. That's what I want for you, with whoever you date, now and in the future. But, I just don't feel

like it's the right thing-for me to let you go."

He actually had a note of regret in his tone, as though he didn't want to disappoint me.

I was _so_ disappointed. Even though I'd nearly expected this as his answer, it was still disappointing.

"It's not that I don't trust you, sugar. _Or_ Kenny. It's not because of anything like that that I'm saying 'No'. I just want

you to not move so fast," he said.

"How is that moving so fast?" I asked. "It's just an overnight visit to his grandma's."

"It's more than that. It's a new level," Adam said. "I want you to slow down."

I looked away, down at Pepe on my lap. All I could think of was Kenny's offer of the promise ring. If Adam thought that

spending a night at Gram Ida's was moving too fast, what in the world would he think if he knew about the promise ring?

I wasn't going to say anything in protest. I wasn't.

"Okay," I said, avoiding his eyes.

He reached out and patted my knee, and then moved to stand up.

"Kenny's comin' over after supper," I announced, still not looking at him. It wasn't exactly a challenge-

"Okay," he said, easily enough.

"Okay," I echoed.

He left and and I put Pepe away, going inside to wash up, and help set the table for supper. Inside, I was not happy.

I was irritated about Adam not letting me go. I dreaded telling Kenny although I knew he wouldn't say a whole lot.

He'd be disappointed, but he wouldn't say anything to disrespect Adam. Not even to me.

By now Clare was in the kitchen, too, along with Hannah. And Crane was there, too, taking spaghetti off the stove, and

draining it.

"Did you make the spaghetti?" I asked him, watching as he mixed spaghetti sauce into the noodles.

"Yep. I did," he said.

Jill came into the kitchen, just as Guthrie and Adam and Brian were coming into the back door and going to wash their

hands at the sink. Adam ran his hand over Hannah's back in a gesture of affection.

"No Evan or Nancy for supper?" Hannah asked him.

Adam shook his head. "No. He said they were going in to have supper with Nancy's dad."

Hannah nodded in response, and Jill took a seat at the table, as Adam took Isaac out of his walker, and sat him in

his high chair.

"Is it alright if I use the washer and dryer after we eat?" Jill was asking, in a general way.

"Of course. I think the dryer's empty," Hannah said.

"I want to wash up some of the clothes I bought," Jill was chattering on. "I always have to do that, or else I'll break

out in a rash."

I rolled my eyes, not even worrying about anybody seeing.

"Do you have any Tide, up in the cabinets in the basement?" Jill was asking now.

"No. We don't use Tide, usually," Hannah said.

Tide is one of the more expensive detergents. And, even with coupons, it's still more than Purex, so we usually use that. With

as big a family as we have, we go thru _alot_ of detergent, so we have to buy the least expensive. Hannah didn't say any of that,

though.

"It's best for sensitive skin," Jill said, taking the bowl of meatballs from Crane as he passed it to her. "I really prefer it."

I rolled my eyes again, and looked across the table to see that Crane had caught me at it.

He raised one eyebrow just slightly at me, and I subsided, going back to my meal.

After supper, I helped clear off the table, as did everybody else. Clare took Isaac upstairs to get him washed

up. Jill went upstairs, too, (likely to gather up all those new clothes of hers), and I was glad, _glad glad_ when Guthrie set some plates by the sink, and said,

"How come she can't just use the detergent we have already?" in a general way, and not to anybody

in particular. "Why's she gotta complain about everything?"

"Shush," Hannah said, putting a finger against her lips.

"She's upstairs, Hannah," Guthrie said. "She can't hear me. Besides, it's the truth."

"Guthrie," Adam said, his tone sharp.

Guthrie turned immediately to look at Adam, his eyes widened in surprise at Adam's tone.

"Jill's a guest here," Adam said, in a very low voice. "Remember that."

"Okay," Guthrie said, but he didn't say it in a real respectful way. More like this. "Ohkaaay."

Adam's face became a thundercloud.

"_Guthrie__ James,"_ Adam began, just as Jill came down the back stairs, her arms full of clothes. She paused at the

edge of the kitchen.

"I guess I'll head down and get this load started," she said, and when Hannah smiled and Adam nodded, and Guthrie and I

were silent, Jill opened the basement door, and headed down the stairs.

Adam stepped over and softly closed the door after Jill, and then turned back to Guthrie.

It was one of those bad sort of silences. Adam looked mad, and Hannah looked as though debating whether to

mediate, and Guthrie, I could tell, was a bit resentful and wary, as well, waiting for Adam to say more. I, myself, felt

that Guthrie hadn't said anything that shouldn't have been said.

"It's not your place to try to correct Jill's behavior," Adam said, now, his tone still really low.

"All I said was that she shouldn't complain about stuff around here," Guthrie protested. "That's _all,_ Adam."

"That's right," I spoke up in a loud whisper, in Guthrie's defense. "If she wants stupid Tide, then she ought to buy it herself-"

"She's got no money," Guthrie said. "So Daniel will have to buy it for her. Instead of sponging money off of him, she

ought to use what's here, and not complain." He paused, and the room crackled while Adam surveyed both of us.

"I'm not sayin' that you don't have a point," Adam conceded. "But there's no call for you to be disrespectful about it, and answer

Hannah like you did."

Immediately, Guthrie looked chagrined. "I wasn't meanin' any disrespect to Hannah," he said. He looked at Hannah,

his forehead wrinkled. "I didn't mean any of it for _you,"_ he assured her.

Hannah reached out and put her hand on his arm. "I know that, Guthrie," she said, softly.

I guess Guthrie was remembering that 'Ohkaaaay' that had made Adam bull up. I could tell he was embarrassed, but he

said, "I'm sorry about answerin' _you_ like I did, Adam."

Adam looked really serious for a long moment, and then he said, quietly, "I know it's not been the easiest."

"I don't like it that she takes advantage of Hannah," Guthrie went on.

"Me, either," I echoed.

"We've already discussed this," Hannah said, also in a loud whisper.

It struck me then how strange we all must look, gathered there, in a huddle, and speaking in such low tones and whispers, just so

Jill wouldn't overhear us.

"What's this?" Adam asked, looking confused.

"It's nothing," Hannah whispered.

"She runs all over Hannah," I spoke up, in an agitated whisper.

"Yeah," Guthrie agreed.

"I've told you both-" Hannah began.

"Hold on," Adam said, in a regular tone of voice, holding up a hand. He motioned towards the back door. "Let's step

outside."

So the four of us stepped outside, and Adam closed the door firmly behind us.

"I'm weary of whisperin'," he said, in explanation, speaking in a regular tone of voice, though still not overly loud.

"What's this about?" he asked.

Neither Guthrie nor I said anything at first, waiting for Hannah.

"The kids think that I'm letting Jill take advantage of me," Hannah said, carefully. "We've already discussed it," and now she

gave Guthrie and I a warning glance, "And I've told them that it's not anything that I can't tend to myself."

Guthrie had a stubborn look on his face, and I knew that my own probably resembled his in that.

Adam was looking still confused, as if he'd walked into a movie that had already started.

The sides of his jaw were tense, though. A sure sign that he's mad.

"It sounds like we have some talkin' to do," he said, looking at Hannah. Turning back to Guthrie and I, he said,

"Will you kids help with the dishes if Brian needs help? Or see about Scooter? Hannah and I are goin' for a walk."

Guthrie and I both said yes, okay, and Hannah and Adam started walking towards the orchard. I paused at the back door

to look after them, and saw that Adam had reached out and they were walking, holding hands with each other.

**7**


	56. Morning mayham

Kenny did come over, and we were sitting on the front porch steps. I told him that I wasn't going to be allowed to

go on Saturday, and he sat, quiet, for a bit. I could tell he was disappointed.

"I ought to stay home," Kenny said. "We could go to a movie or somethin' on Saturday night."

"You can't do that," I protested. "Your dad's counting on your help, with all the landscaping at Gram Ida's, isn't he?"

When he nodded, with regret, I said, "You can't leave all that to him. There would be lots of heavy lifting, and it would

wear down his strength." _Kenny's dad has recovered his health from his bout with cancer and the treatments, but he's still_

_not returned to what a man of his age should be yet._

"I know," Kenny said. And, I knew that he'd meant all along to go to Gram Ida's and help his father. He wouldn't have left it

all to the older man.

"I thought Adam trusted me," Kenny said, and I could tell he was somewhat hurt.

"It's not that-" I said. I hesitated, trying to think of the right words to say. "He does trust you. He just thinks

we should go slowly."

_"Slowly?"_ Kenny repeated, surprised. "Harlie, we've known each other since before you went to kindergarten, nearly."

"I know," I said, and reached out to take his hand, trying to be soothing. "The dating part, though, it's happened sort of

quickly."

"The _feelings_ have happened sort of fast," Kenny conceded.

"Right," I said, squeezing his hand.

With his other hand, he reached into his pocket and took out something, and then held it out so I could see it, hooked onto the

end of his pinky finger.

It was a ring. A really pretty ring. It had a small blue stone. Even though he'd already brought the subject up to me,

I was still surprised to have him just bring a ring out like that.

I looked at him, and he gave me a grin that made me have butterflies in my tummy.

"I know we only talked about it that one time," he said. "But, I saw this at the mall, and it seemed like the sort

of ring that you'd like. I know blue's your favorite color."

"It's a pretty ring," I said. I reached out to take it from the end of his finger. I couldn't resist slipping it onto

my ring finger.

"How'd you know my ring size?" I asked him. "It fits perfectly."

"Gram Ida mentioned that you were trying on some of her jewelry when you were hangin' out with her. She said there

was one you liked that had never fit her very well. She said it was a size seven."

"Wow," I said, slightly stunned at his ingenuity.

"You like it?" he asked, sounding really hopeful.

"I do. I really like it," I said. I twisted to face him. "But-"

"But, you can't wear it," he said, intuitively.

"Not right now," I said. "If Adam won't even let me go spend the night at Gram Ida's with you, he's not going to let

me take a promise ring from you."

"Yeah. I know," Kenny said, in resignation. "I don't suppose Brian would be real happy, either."

"No. He wouldn't be," I agreed. "It's nothing against _you,"_ I assured him, just in case he didn't know. "They

just think of me as being too young."

"I know," he said. "And, we _are_ young. It's just a promise ring, though. It's just _me_ makin' a promise to _you."_

"Yeah. But, I don't think Adam and Brian will look at it that way. They'll think it means we're too serious, too soon," I said.

Kenny nodded, in understanding, and we sat, quietly, holding hands for a few minutes. Until, that is, the wooden front door

was opened, and we broke apart, as the screen was pushed open.

"Hey," Brian said, stepping out onto the porch, and pushing up his sleeves.

"Hey, Brian," Kenny responded, and I said, "Hey."

I took my left hand and made sure it was under my hip. I wasn't quite sitting on it, but close to it, so Brian wouldn't see

the ring.

Brian leaned against the porch column for a few minutes, talking to Kenny about his folks, and how his dad's health

was improving. After a few minutes, Brian pushed himself off the post, and said, "See you later" and ambled

off towards the barn.

Once he was walking that way, I exchanged a look with Kenny, and brought my hand back out.

"I guess I've never really _asked_ you," Kenny said, taking my hand in his and running his fingers over the ring. "Do you want

a ring from me? I mean-do you see _an us,_ in the future?"

I admit, I'd had thoughts of Kenny and I in the future. Some of those thoughts had been when I'd been up at

Evan and Nancy's cabin, thinking how cozy and private it was there. And Kenny and I did have things in common.

So, I answered him as honestly as I could. "I've thought about it," I admitted.

"Yeah?" he asked, looking happy. "I mean-I know you've got a long road ahead with your college and vet school. I'd be in it

with you, helping you."

I studied his face, thinking how really sweet and _good_ he was. There were times I saw a glimpse of the old carefree Kenny,

with his devil-may-care attitude. Ornery and sometimes not very thoughtful. But, those glimpses were rare now. His time

of being in trouble had made him more considerate, more serious. And, wow, did he ever have some beautiful blue eyes.

"I know you can't wear it right now," he said. "But-will you keep it?"

I nodded, and he gave me an ole-Kenny grin.

The evening ended with Kenny saying he needed to be heading home, and a couple of kisses shared by his truck before

he left. I slipped upstairs and put the ring in my jewelry box inside my dresser drawer.

**7**

On Saturday morning, in the very early hours, I was woken up by noises in the hallway, and then raised voices, which were quickly hushed.

I got up out of bed, going to the door and opening it a crack to look out.

The hallway was clear except for Ford, standing in the open doorway of Crane's bedroom. Ford had come home the night before,

and had claimed a roll-away bed set up in Crane's room. The second bed in there was where Daniel was crashing. Guthrie was still

sleeping in the basement, while Jill had residence in the boy's room. It was like musical beds around our house.

Apparently Ford had heard the ruckus, as well. I looked at him, and he lifted his shoulders in a shrug, to signify that he

didn't know what was happening.

He walked down the hall towards me.

"What is it?" I whispered.

"I dunno. It's like-real early-" he whispered back.

"You didn't see anything?"

"Nah," he said, low.

We could hear noises downstairs then, voices, and doors opening and closing. We went to the head of the stairs,

looking over the railing down into the living room.

It was Daniel. He was sitting on one of the couches, pulling on one of the couches, pulling on his boots. And, standing there

beside the couch, was Jill. She had her nightgown on, obviously, because her legs were bare, and she had a pink bathrobe wrapped

around herself. She was clearly upset. Agitated.

"You promised, Daniel," she was saying. "_Promised."_

"I know I did," Daniel said, softly.

"So, that's the sort of person that you are?" she hissed. "The sort that doesn't keep the promises that he makes?"

"Shhhhh," Daniel shushed her.

"I'm tired of keeping still, tiptoeing around here-" Jill said, raising her voice.

Daniel stood up, and put his hands on her arms. "I don't wanna wake anybody up-can we talk about this

later? I've gotta get going, or I'll be late for my shift."

"Always _later,_ Daniel," she snapped.

"_Jill,"_ Daniel said, sounding tired.

Ford and I exchanged a look, and Ford gave a worried shake of his head. And, then, Daniel went to pull on a jacket, and

Jill trailed after him to the door. He tried to hug her, but she was stiff in his arms.

He opened the door, going out onto the porch, and she followed him. Their voices got a lot louder now, even though we

could still see them, and I could tell Daniel was trying to quiet her down.

Ford and I were so involved in watching and listening that neither one of us heard Adam until he was

right behind us. Barefoot, and in sweat pants and a t-shirt.

"What's goin' on?" he asked, looking over the staircase.

"It's Jill and Daniel," I offered in a hushed tone.

Adam looked on his own at the couple on the front porch. The voices were steadily rising, and now Daniel was making

no attempt to be quiet, either. We could hear him saying, "I can't snap my fingers and make it happen. You need to

be patient-"

"I learned patience in all those foster homes I was in, Daniel!" she said.

Adam went to walk down the stairs, and it was clear he was heading for the front door. To do what, I wasn't sure. To intervene? To

put a stop to whatever was happening? To try to referee? Who knew? But, I gave Ford a look, and followed on Adam's heels. There was

no way I was going to stay at the top of the stairs. And Ford came after me. And, I saw now, Crane was coming, too.

Down the stairs, bringing up the rear of our barefoot group of McFaddens.

Adam went to the door, pushing the screen door open and holding it open with the tips of his fingers.

Jill showed no reaction to seeing us all there, but Daniel looked chagrined. Embarrassed.

"What's going on?" Adam asked, again, only this time to Daniel, and not Ford and I. I could hear the worry and concern

in Adam's tone, and I knew everybody else could, too.

Instead of answering that, as to just _what_ was going on, Daniel said, instead, sounding regretful, "Sorry for wakin' you all up."

"Doesn't matter," Adam said, and I knew he was trying to ease Daniel's mind. He pushed the door open a bit further. "Everything

alright?"

Of course, everything was _not alright,_ but in a situation like this, I guess that's just one of the things that first comes to

mind to say.

"No," Jill said, in reply, crossing her arms. It might have been because it was sort of chilly out there on the porch at this time

of the morning, but it made it look as though she was fixing to have a temper tantrum.

"_Jill,"_ Daniel said, as if he was pleading with her to stop. To not carry the argument on further, in front of the family.

"I'm sure your family would _like_ to know, Daniel," Jill carried on. "After all-everybody's so involved with everybody else

around here-"

Suddenly Daniel seemed to find his resolve from within. He quit looking so beat down, at least for the moment, and

said, "It's between us, Jill. Leave it there," in a really stern way.

For a moment, I thought Jill looked sort of surprised. Then she gave Daniel another blast with her eyes, and

said, "Alright," in a tight voice. She gave our little foursome a look, too, and said, "Excuse me," to Adam.

He stepped aside, and on out onto the porch, and the other three of us moved out of her way so she could pass by.

She went up the stairs, and a hush fell over the rest of us.

Crane went on out to stand on the porch, too, and laid a hand on Daniel's shoulder. Only for a moment of comfort, and then he moved

it.

"I'm sorry for the noise," Daniel apologized again.

"I told you-it doesn't matter," Adam said, in reassurance. "What matters is _you,_ Daniel."

Daniel sighed. "Thanks," he said, giving Adam a half-smile which wasn't all that convincing. He gestured towards his

truck.

"I gotta get goin', or I'll be late," Daniel said. He looked at Adam and then at Crane. "I'll talk to you guys later."

"You alright to drive?" Adam asked, going down the stairs after Daniel.

"I'm alright," Daniel said, pausing in the yard.

"I can get you a cup of coffee in a travel mug," I offered, and turned to go do that.

"Naw, squirt, thanks anyway. I'll grab some when I get gas," Daniel told me.

Crane walked Daniel all the way to his truck, and they stood talking for a few more minutes. Adam, meanwhile,

came back up the stairs, and asked Ford and I if we wanted scrambled eggs for breakfast.

Walking to the kitchen with him and Ford, Adam said, "Too cold out there to be barefooted this early of a morning."

**7**


	57. Weather and wait

Ford and I did our share to help prepare breakfast that morning. Adam scrambled up a couple dozen eggs, and fried some bacon. Ford

set the table and stirred up juice, while I was in charge of making the toast. We have a four-slot toaster, but it still takes a long time to toast

enough slices for all of us.

Hannah came down the back stairs, carrying Isaac. She ran her hand over Adam's lower back, as he stood at the stove.

"This is nice," she said. "All of you making breakfast. It's early."

"Sit down and have a cup of coffee," Adam told her.

"You don't have to tell me that twice," Hannah said, smiling at him. She put Isaac in his high chair, and

sprinkled some Cheerios on the tray for him to nibble on. She poured herself a cup of coffee as Crane came into

the kitchen.

"You're up, too?" Hannah asked, smiling at Crane, and sitting down in her chair, next to Isaac's high chair.

"Sleep was not conducive," Ford said, with an attempt at humor.

"What? Why?" Hannah asked, looking puzzled.

Crane exchanged a look with Adam, and then said, "Daniel and Jill had a scrap this morning." His voice was low, and

Hannah looked concerned, and matched his tone with a low one of her own.

"Oh, no," she said. "What was it about?"

"I don't know," Adam said, flipping the eggs with his spatula.

I swung my glance to Crane. I figured that he knew, since, for one thing, he had followed Daniel to his truck,

and they talked, and secondly, since he and Daniel were so close.

"I'll let Daniel tell it," Crane said, and Hannah nodded in understanding.

"She doesn't treat Daniel right," I said, determined to say at least that much.

I waited for the usual adult comments, such as '_Harlie, you shouldn't say that'_ or '_it's Daniel's business'_ or something

along those lines. But, this time, none of them said any of those things. Adam only said, "Keep makin' the toast," to me.

**7**

I spent part of my morning watching Evan work with D.C. Perched on the top rail of the corral made for uncomfortable sitting,

after a while. I had gone out to to catch D.C. when Evan said he had a little time to work with him, but D.C. had been at

his most contrary, and, despite my best efforts, wouldn't let me near enough to put the halter on.

Evan didn't interfere, or try to help me, until I turned to look over at where he stood, and raised my arms in a frustrated

_'what am I supposed to do?' _ way.

Evan walked over closer, but then stopped, not coming completely to me. When he just stood there, not moving further, and

not saying anything, I prompted him with, "Are you gonna help me?" in an impatient way.

"I said I'd help _work_ him," Evan specified. "Not _catch_ him for ya every time."

I felt my temper slipping. Sometimes-Evan still has the ability to rile me. Not nearly as he used to-but still sometimes.

"Well-but I obviously _can't_ catch him," I said.

"Then leave him be. Let him graze, and do as he pleases, and never plan to ride him," Evan said, sardonically.

I knew this was his way of pointing out, in an off-hand way, that I was giving in and letting D.C. get the better of me. That I was

a quitter. I had originally purchased the horse with no real thought to riding him, but, instead, more to give him a permanent home,

and good care. But, now, since I'd had the opportunity to be on his back, racing across the pastures, I knew how thrilling it was

to ride him. Plus, I still wanted to show what could be done with him, like to the old rancher at the auction who thought I

was foolish for buying the horse, and Brian foolish for allowing it.

"I want to be able to ride him," I maintained.

Evan help out his hands, similar to the way that I had a few minutes ago. As in, '_what are you gonna do, then?'_

"I'll catch him," I said, with determination.

"Okay. Good," Evan said, and turned around to walk away.

And, I did catch D.C. Finally. It took me walking twice to the shed for sugar cubes. But, I got him into the corral, and

watched Evan work him there. Then when he told me to open the gate, I did, and Evan rode him out into the pasture.

Evan let D.C. run, and they disappeared from sight. Ford came over to sit with me, and we talked about his classes at college

and stuff like that. When Evan finally reappeared, and rode D.C. up beside the corral, I could tell the difference in the horse.

D.C. was _tired. _

"How was he?" I asked.

"He did good," Evan said, reaching forward to pat D.C. on the neck, while still sitting in the saddle.

"Can I ride now?" I asked.

"No ridin' him by you yet, remember?" Evan said.

"You've got him tired out now, though," I protested. "He'll be fine."

"Nope. Not till I get the all-clear," he refused.

_The all-clear. Meaning Adam. _

"You know that it's _you_ that started this-by saying he was too much for me," I challenged. "So, if _you_ say it's alright,

then it will be fine with Adam."

Evan gave me another _look._ Irritated by my attitude, I'm sure.

"Look, _Miss_ _Snip,"_ Evan said, "I'm doin' you a favor here. You want to be able to ride this horse, so I'm helpin' that

along. If you wanna pitch a fit, just because I didn't want to see you bust your head, then-"

"_Alright,"_ I interrupted his tirade. "I know you told because you were worried about me."

Evan had stopped talking at me, but he was still irritated, I could tell.

"Sorry," I told him.

Evan didn't say anything more, right then. He just unsaddled D.C. and told me to walk him to cool him down.

**7**

The day was taken up with Saturday chores. I was able to squeeze in some time with Ford, which is always a good

thing. In the afternoon, I went into the house, which was cooling with the breeze and the air movement from the ceiling fans.

I jumped into helping with the household stuff. I was downstairs folding clothes, taking from the dryer, and folding, and then

carrying the towels upstairs. I found Clare lying on the couch in the living room, and I went to peer over at her.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"I'm just resting a minute," Clare said.

"Are you feeling sick?"

"Just a little tired," Clare said. "I'm going to get up in a minute and get back to the cleaning."

"You should rest," I told her. "Go upstairs and take a real nap in your bed."

"I'll be fine," Clare said. "There's things to do."

When she struggled to a sitting position, I saw how pale she looked.

"I'll make you some tea if you want," I offered.

"That would be nice," Clare said.

I went off to do that, bustling around the kitchen, and making the tea with plenty of sugar, the way I used to make

it for Hannah when she was pregnant.

Jill joined us as we were sitting in the living room. I don't know where she'd been all day. She was filing her nails with

an emery board as she sat, curled up on one end of the couch. As we sat there, the sky outside seemed to be darkening,

and Jill went to stand at the door to look out.

"I hope it doesn't storm," she said, sounding worried.

"It's already setting in," I said.

"Maybe it will blow over," she said, and I didn't argue with her. I could tell that it was gearing up to be a real gully-washer, but

she wasn't going to be told anything.

"Hannah should have been home," Clare commented, looking at the big clock above the fireplace.

Hannah had gone to visit Marie, taking Isaac with her.

"I forgot-there's clothes hanging on the line," Clare said, and began to stand up. "They'll get soaked-"

"I'll get them," I offered.

I knew that Clare really did not feel well, because she sank back down onto the couch, without protesting.

"Drink your tea," I told her, in my best _bossy_ sister tone. That tone doesn't usually have much success for me with Guthrie, but

Clare gave me a wan smile, and said, "Alright, toots."

I headed towards the kitchen to go out the back door, to the clothesline, but I paused at the door of the kitchen.

Clare had sat back against the couch cushions and closed her eyes, but I said Jill's name quietly, and when she looked

over at me from her position at the front door, I motioned with my hands.

She came and followed me into the kitchen, and I said, "Can you help me bring the clothes in?"

It was purely an impulse on my part. Requesting her to come and help. After all, why shouldn't she?

"Okay," Jill said, and we went outside, each carrying an empty basket to put the clothes into. The storm clouds were

swirling, dark and black, and there was just beginning to be spits of rain.

We began taking the jeans and shirts from the line, dropping them into the baskets.

At a chilly gust of wind, Jill paused in her task and looked at the sky. "I hate storms," she said.

Although I don't have a particular _love_ for storms, I'm not a hater of them, either.

"It's not a big deal," I said.

"There was a storm once-" Jill began, and then her voice dropped off. "At one of the foster homes, and we had to go into

a dark cellar for hours. It was horrible."

I could tell she was being for real, that the memory of it did make her feel frightened.

"We have the basement to go into," I said. "We don't have to use a cellar."

"How long will it last?" she asked me, then.

"It's hard to say," I said. What did she think I was, _a weather girl? _

I saw Brian and Adam heading in from the barns. They came over where Jill and I stood, at the clothesline.

"Clare inside?" Brian asked me.

I nodded, pushing my hair away from my face as the wind picked up.

"I made her some tea," I told him. "She's not feeling very well, I don't think."

"Mmm," Brian said, tossing the shirt he'd taken down into a basket. "Thanks, peach. For makin' her the tea."

"No problem," I said.

"I thought Hannah would be home by now," Adam said, looking down the driveway, as though he thought he might see

Hannah's little Gremlin coming into view.

"She ought to be along soon," Brian said.

"If she's not, I'm gonna head out to look for her," Adam said.

They both went to work, helping to take down the clothes. At one particular flash of lightning, Adam said, "That's a close

one."

Jill shivered, wrapping her arms around herself, in obvious distress.

Both Adam and Brian saw it, and Adam said, calmly, "There's no worry. You two go on in. I'll bring in this other basket."

So, Jill wasted no time scuttling for the back door. I picked up the basket near my feet, and headed inside.

Brian followed me, going towards the living room to check on Clare.

Adam came a couple minutes later, setting the full basket on the kitchen table, and going to look back outside

at the rolling clouds.

"Where's Guthrie gotten to?" he asked. "Do you know?"

"I think he went with Ford to the creek to fish," I said.

"Hmm," he said.

"Want me to make some coffee?" I offered.

"Yeah. That'd be good."

Jill came to stand at the door of the kitchen. "Should we go to the basement?" she asked. Seemingly, of Adam.

He turned to look at her, and I could tell he was a bit surprised by the question, and the obvious urgency in her tone.

"No need for that yet," he said.

"I hate storms," Jill said, repeating what she'd said to me earlier. In the same fearful way.

"There's no danger to us," Adam said, still in the same calm tone. That tone that had soothed all my childhood hurts and fears

away, or at least had eased them. From skinned knees to death of a pet that I loved, or a friend at school that had said

something cruel to me. Adam's calm tone and soothing ways had had a way of reaching me. Still did, truth be told.

He went on to tell Jill that it would be noisy, likely with thunder and high winds, but that it would pass over.

"We'll keep a watch on it," he told Jill, walking over and setting his hand on her shoulder, just for the briefest of moments.

He smiled at her, and went to the living room, and Jill trailed after him, looking sort of lost.

I was finishing the coffee when the boys came bursting into the back door, taking off their muddy boots and horsing around.

They were soaked to the skin. Literally. Guthrie had rolled up his jeans a bit, but their shirts were sodden, and their hair

was dripping over the floor.

Guthrie was stripping off his shirt, and Ford reached up above in the cabinet to pull down a couple of towels. He tossed one

at Guthrie, and then began to rub his own head dry.

"Where's the fish?" I asked them.

"No luck," Guthrie said.

He and Ford went upstairs to change into dry clothes, and I took a cup of the steaming coffee to the living room

to Adam. He was positioned at the front door, looking out the screen at the falling rain, and flashing in the sky.

Jill was sitting on one end of the couch, while Brian and Clare were sitting next to each other, across from her.

"The tea helped, toots," Clare told me, and I smiled at her.

"That's good."

I took the cup of coffee to Adam and he took it with a 'thanks', and continued to gaze outside.

"Hannah's probably on her way," I said, trying to comfort him.

"Likely she is," he said.

But, Hannah hadn't come, even after another thirty minutes of Adam watching, and waiting. He'd called Marie

at her house, and learned that Hannah had left twenty minutes before. Since it's usually just a twenty minute drive

from Murphys to the ranch, I knew he was biding his time.

"It might take her a few extra minutes," Brian said, in his own attempt to comfort Adam.

"Yeah," Adam said, in agreement. "I think I'll get ready to head out, though, in a couple of minutes. Make sure

she hasn't broken down alongside the road, or somethin'."

"Want me to come with?" Brian offered.

"No. That's alright," Adam said.

"I'll get you a rain slicker," I said, as Ford came down the stairs.

"I don't need one, sugar," Adam said, as Ford shrugged into a jacket.

"I'm going with you," he said.

"No need," Adam said, but Ford kept shoving his arms into the jacket.

So, a few minutes later, the two of them left, in Ford's truck, and Guthrie took up the position at the door,

watching for their return.

"We can get some supper ready," Clare said. "Something hot for when they get home."

"You rest," Brian ordered. "I'll get somethin' started."

"I can at least set the table, and make a salad or something," Clare told him, and they went to the kitchen.

"I didn't know Hannah was out in this," Guthrie said, as we stood together at the screen door. The wind picked up

and took a lawn chair from the porch and blew it clattering down into the yard.

Still jumpy, Jill said, "What was that?" sounding alarmed.

"Just a chair," I told her.

"I _hate_ this," she said.

I exchanged a look with Guthrie, and it was then that we saw headlights coming up the road, and then turning into

the driveway. One vehicle, and then, another behind it.

"Here they are," Guthrie said, sounding relieved. I was relieved, too. Brian must have heard the motors because he

came from the kitchen, walking to where we stood, drying his hands with a towel as he came.

They were parking now, and the rain was coming down in heavy sheets.

"Take an umbrella out, Guth," Brian said. "Scooter doesn't need to get soaked. Hannah, either."

"Okay," Guthrie said, and grabbed an umbrella from the bottom of the table by the door. On the porch he opened it

and ran thru the rain as Adam got out of Hannah's car, and came around to open the passenger door. Hannah stepped

out, Isaac in her arms. Guthrie held the umbrella over their heads and they all hurried up the steps to the porch.

I opened the screen so they could get in quickly, and then began the process of more drying off and changing of

wet clothes. Isaac was so tired that Hannah put him in his footed pajamas, and he fell asleep sitting in his high chair.

Brian had found some stew in the freezer and warmed that up, and we had it with homemade bread.

The lights flickered every once in a while, and every time, Jill jumped, in a panic.

"Even if the lights go out, we've got lanterns," Hannah told her. The rain was really pounding the roof and against the

windows.

Hannah said for us to just stack the dishes for the night and I knew she was really tired. Adam took the sleeping

Isaac up to his crib. Brian made his hot cocoa and Guthrie popped some popcorn.

Sitting around the living room, in a cozy group, I sat next to Guthrie on the floor, watching him toss popcorn into

the air and catch it in his mouth. I was laughing at him, squeezed between him and Ford.

Jill seemed to settle a bit when the thunder and lightning ceased and it was only a rain.

At a bit before nine, Crane got home, and Jill said she was tired, and went up to bed. Hannah and Clare both

admitted to being exhausted, and went to bed as well.

Crane had been at the little house that Ivy rents in town, and he said it was rough seeing to drive in the dark and

the rain.

When it was after nine, nearly nine-thirty, I found that I was waiting for the sound of Daniel's truck to be pulling in.

I knew, when I saw Adam glancing at the big clock, every few minutes, that I wasn't the only one doing so.

**7**

"


	58. Concern

Sitting there, the time got later, and our group in the living room dwindled down. Brian went up to bed, and Ford followed

shortly afterwards. Since Hannah and Clare had already gone up, there was only Adam, Crane and Guthrie and I left downstairs.

I ate what was left of the popcorn, digging my fingers on the bottom of the bowl so as to coat my fingertips with the

salt that had settled there. Guthrie said he thought he heard something outside, and I followed him to the door, licking my

fingers.

When Guthrie edged the screen door open, though, and listened, we couldn't hear anything. Or see any headlights.

"I thought I heard a truck," Guthrie said.

"I did, too," I said.

Guthrie and I went back to the living room, and then Guthrie went to get us both a bottle of Coke.

"It's late for that," Crane said, in half-hearted disapproval, with a glance up at the big clock. _Nearly eleven._

"Nothin' will keep me awake," Guthrie said, in protest, and went back to take his spot on the floor, in the center

of the rug, lying on his back.

I'd drank that bottle, and, when Guthrie said he was going to have another, he asked me if I wanted more.

I started to say _yes,_ but then I changed my mind and told him, no, thanks. I had felt Adam looking at me, and though he

hadn't said anything directly, I knew he was thinking that it wouldn't be responsible of me to have more than one sugary

bottle of pop. Ever since he'd told me to find a place for diabetes in my life, and respect it without letting it _become_ me, well, I've

tried hard to do better.

I went to do my shot, and then went upstairs to wash my face, and brush my teeth. I went back downstairs after that,

though, and Guthrie and I played a short game of UNO.

"You two had ought to be thinkin' about getting to bed," Adam told us, as Guthrie gathered up the cards.

"I want to wait up for Daniel," I said, in protest.

"Yeah. Me, too," Guthrie echoed.

"He might be real late tonight," Crane said. "It's still raining, and he'll probably take it slow."

Another thirty minutes passed. Guthrie fell asleep, stretched out on one of the couches. It had been okay, fun, even,

hanging out with Guthrie and Adam and Crane. But, now, it was starting to rain harder, again, pelting on the roof, and Crane kept

going to the door to look out into the rainy night, even though I don't know how he could have seen anything. Adam was

seemingly reading a ranching magazine, but I saw that he wasn't turning the pages hardly at all. I went to sit beside him, curling

up, laying my head against his shoulder. After a few more minutes went by, and Adam kept glancing up, towards the door, and

Crane, looking outside, and only turned the page once, I said, quietly, "You don't read that slow."

"Slowly," Adam corrected my grammar.

"You don't read that slowly," I allowed. I hooked my left arm thru his right one.

"Are you worried about Daniel?" I asked, softly.

"I reckon that he and Jill will work out their problems," Adam said.

I squeezed his arm slightly. "I don't mean that. I mean-because he's not home yet."

"He'll be along," Adam said, sounding confident.

I squeezed him again. Adam turned to look at me, and, after a minute, he looked as though he was going to

say something, but then-he didn't. He patted my leg, and gave up his pretense of reading the magazine article on

cattle. At 11:45, Adam dislodged me from his side, where I'd been nearly falling asleep.

"Go up to bed," Adam told me, getting to his feet.

I sat up, trying to get more alert. Adam went over and put his hand on Guthrie's shoulder, shaking him awake.

"Huh?" Guthrie asked, stirring around.

"Time to go upstairs to bed," Adam said.

Guthrie sat up, rubbing at one eye. "Daniel home?" he asked.

"Not yet," Adam said.

I could still hear rain pelting the roof and the windows.

"It's still raining really hard," I said.

Guthrie and I exchanged a glance between us.

I had the feeling then, of things being out of control. _Where was Daniel? _ Even without knowing his exact schedule, I knew that

with as early as he'd left that morning for work, he should have been home by ten-thirty at the latest.

I sat right where I was at, and so did Guthrie. Neither one of us made any move to stand up.

Hannah had come down so quietly that I hadn't heard her, until she was near the bottom of the stairs.

"Adam?" she said, softly, and Adam turned to see her there. Hannah came over to stand beside him, tying the

belt of her blue robe.

"Not home yet?" she asked him. _Meaning Daniel, I knew._

"No," he said.

"Maybe he went to have a beer with some guys from work," Guthrie suggested.

I knew, and I knew that Guthrie _knew_ it, too, that it wasn't likely that Daniel would have done that. Not that he was

against going out with friends, or having a few beers, or whatever-but he wouldn't tonight. He would be tired from working

all the hours that he'd been working lately, and would just want to come home. And, if I admitted it, he would probably want

to get home so he could possibly talk to Jill. He wouldn't drink and then attempt to drive all that long way home, either.

Nobody really answered Guthrie's comment, though. Crane had, at some point, left his post at the door, and had taken

a seat in the over-sized chair. He had one foot resting on his opposite knee, and was still wearing his boots. As was Adam, now

that I paid attention.

Adam started to say something then, but paused. He seemed to take notice that Guthrie and I were still sitting just

where we had been when he'd ordered us upstairs.

"You kids go to bed," he said, again, looking at both of us.

"You might need me for somethin'," Guthrie said, in protest. I assumed that he meant in case they went out looking for

Daniel, or something like that.

"No. He'll be along soon," Adam said. His voice became more firm. "Go to bed."

Guthrie sighed, and stood up, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"You, too," Adam told me.

I too, like Guthrie had, gave a sigh, and stood up.

Hannah asked Adam if he wanted her to wait up with him, and he said, no, for her to go back to bed.

I followed Hannah up the stairs, and, when we'd reached the top, she said, "Do you want to come and lay in our room

for awhile?" to me.

I nodded in answer, and, once we went into her and Adam's bedroom, I saw that she'd left the small lamp on. Hannah went

over and looked down at Isaac in his crib. He was sleeping in his usual position, on his tummy and knees, with his behind stuck

up in the air. Hannah patted his back, and I went to climb into their bed. She turned off the lamp and, in the darkness, I

heard crossing the room and then the sound of the sheets rustling as she laid down.

"Daniel should have been home by now," I whispered.

I felt her take my hand in hers.

"I'm worried, too," she admitted, softly. "He's probably just having to drive really slowly in this heavy rain, though."

"I wish he didn't have this job."

Hannah said, "Try to go to sleep. Adam won't come to bed until Daniel gets home, anyway. I'll wake you to go to

your own bed then."

I said okay and moved closer to her, and she wrapped her arm around me.

**7**


	59. Fearful

When I woke up, I was alone in the bed. Hannah was gone. It was still mostly dark outside, though lightening. I looked at

the clock on the nightstand. Five forty-five a.m. Isaac was still asleep in his crib, laying on his back now, with his hands stretched

above his little head. I got up, and went quietly into the bathroom, and then headed downstairs, closing the door softly

behind me.

It was early, but it was still unusual to not hear any noise up and down the hall, or of anybody starting their day. I went down the

back stairs, thinking about a cup of coffee. I wondered why Hannah hadn't woken me, like she'd said that she would, when Daniel

got home and Adam came up to bed. Maybe Adam had just crashed on the couch downstairs, or something.

When I came down the last couple of steps to the kitchen, I was surprised to find only Clare, sitting at the table, and Brian,

standing at the stove.

Clare had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, and was sipping at a cup of something. Brian was flipping scrambled

eggs. He had his back turned, so didn't see me right off, but Clare did, and her face looked pale and ashen. Just in that instant-I thought

she must be having an attack of morning sickness, for her to be looking like she was.

"Morning-" she said, really softly, and Brian turned, to see me standing there.

"You're up early," he greeted me. "I thought you might sleep awhile longer."

"I decided to go ahead and get up," I answered him.

"Alright. Well, I've got some eggs about ready. Sit down," Brian told me.

I went to pull down a coffee cup and filled it with the pungent smelling coffee.

"Where is everybody?" I asked. "Still sleeping?" Without waiting for an answer, I took a sip of the hot coffee and

said, "What time did Daniel finally get home last night, do you know?"

Brian and Clare exchanged a quick glance. Very quick, but I still noticed.

Brian picked up the skillet, and came over to the table, nodding to the cabinet. "Get down some plates, peach."

I set my cup down on the cabinet, and turned to obey, pulling down a handful of plates, and bringing them over to

the table.

Brian scraped some of the eggs onto the top plate. "Sit down and eat," he told me.

"Yes, toots, come and sit beside me," Clare said, pulling out the chair beside her and patting the seat.

I gave them both a puzzled look, wrinkling my forehead. "What's going on?" I asked. "You're both acting weird."

Brian went to set the skillet back on the stove.

"Sit down," he said, again. His voice sounded really funny. Strange.

I slid into the chair next to Clare, looking up at Brian.

"Want some toast?" Clare was asking me, taking a slice from the plate of already-buttered bread, and I shook my head.

"Bri, you're scaring me," I said.

Brian pulled out the chair on the other side of me, and sat down. He studied me, looking contemplative, and then

said, quietly, "Daniel had an accident last night. He's at the hospital. He's going to be alright."

"What?" I said, feeling my chest tighten. I clinched my hands together.

"He's got a broken arm, and collarbone, and some cracked ribs-cuts-but he's gonna mend," Brian said.

Clare reached out and laid her hand on my arm in comfort.

"Can we go see him?" I asked, immediately.

"Yeah. We'll go. Not right this minute, but we'll go," Brian said.

"Where's Adam? And Hannah? At the hospital?" I asked.

At Brian's nod, I said, "And Crane?"

"Yeah. Crane, too."

"What happened?" I asked. "Was there another car involved?"

"No. He fell asleep. Ran off the road into the ditch," Brian said.

I sat for a moment, trying to take it all in, and Clare scooted my plate over in front of me.

"Eat something," she said.

I shook my head in refusal. "I don't feel like it."

"You have to, though," Clare pointed out. "It's going to be a long day, probably, and you need to keep

your level stable."

"When are you going to the hospital?" I asked Brian, not answering Clare.

"We'll do the chores, and then when Adam and Hannah come home for a rest, I'll likely go in then."

"I want to go with you," I said.

"Then eat," Brian said, simply, with authority.

As he stood up, I said, "Where's Jill?"

"She went to the hospital last night, and then Ford brought her home," Clare said. "She's probably sleeping now."

"Why didn't somebody wake me up last night?" I demanded, feeling irritation on top of my worry.

"There was no need," Brian said.

"I'm going to get dressed," Clare said, patting me and standing up. "Isaac will be waking up soon, too."

"Okay, darlin'," Brian said, and Clare patted his waist as she walked past.

When she was gone, I gave Brian an accusatory look. "You guys should have woken me up," I told him. "I would have

gone to the hospital, too-"

"Harlie, it was _late,"_ Brian said. "Things were a mess, and everybody was all shook up. There were enough McFaddens

at the hospital as it was. There's nothing you could have done last night. It was decided that I'd stay home, and to let you and Guthrie sleep."

He fixed me with a dark look. "That's the way that it went, and I don't want any attitude about it. Got it?"

Between being scared about Daniel, and then having Brian get onto me in that gruff way-well, tears welled up in my

eyes.

"Okay, Bri," I managed, and picked up my fork, taking a bite of eggs. I swiped at my cheek, and I heard Brian sigh, and

come back over to stand beside my chair. He laid a hand on the back of my head.

"I'm bein' surly," he said. "Sorry, peach."

"It's okay," I said, looking up at him. I knew he had to be worried sick about Daniel.

We exchanged a long drawn-out look-and it was a look that said, _'we've got a long day or more ahead-level heads_

_prevail-'. _ Brian gave a slight nod, and I nodded back in understanding.

I pitched in and did the breakfast dishes, after everybody was finished. Evan had come in, long enough to sit down and

eat a second breakfast, and talk over the day's ranch needs with Brian. Guthrie and Ford came in, as well, and the four of them

sat down together. Guthrie was mostly silent. He ate his eggs, but then scraped his chair back from the table, and said he was

going back outside to fill the water tanks.

"Hey, Guth," Brian said, as Guthrie reached the back door, his hand poised to push the screen open.

"Yeah," Guthrie said, turning to look at Brian.

"We'll go into the hospital-around ten, to visit Daniel. Ok?"

"I'll stay here," Guthrie said. At Brian's look of surprise, he added, "To help Evan."

"You can go along," Evan spoke up. "I'll be alright until you all get back."

"Yeah. And Adam and Crane will probably be home by then, too," Brian said. "You can go, Guthrie."

"I'll see Daniel when he gets home," Guthrie said.

I had turned to look at Guthrie, and listen, wondering why Guthrie was acting that way.

But Brian said only, "Alright," sort of quietly, and Guthrie nodded, and went out.

I watched him go, knowing with a certainty that Guthrie was really bothered by something. Probably, I thought, he

was scared and worried like all of us were. I dried my hands on a dishtowel, as Clare came down the stairs, carrying

Isaac.

Ford stood, and took Isaac from her. "He's heavy," Clare said. "Thanks, Ford."

Brian stood, too, and went to put an arm around Clare's waist. "Not feelin' any better?" he asked her.

"I'm alright," Clare said. "When Isaac goes down for a nap, I'll lay down, too."

The telephone began ringing, and Ford got up to answer the kitchen phone, still holding Isaac.

It was obvious after a couple of moments that he was talking to one of the family, calling from the hospital. We all

stopped moving, just to listen.

"When are they doin' that?" Ford was asking. He turned to add to the rest of us. "It's Adam."

"You want to talk to Brian?" Ford asked, and then handed off the receiver to Brian.

"What'd he say?" Evan asked Ford.

"They're doing some tests on Daniel, so he may not be comin' home for a couple of days," Ford reported, looking

worried.

"What tests?" Evan demanded.

"An MRI, or somethin'," Ford said.

Evan asked what for, or something, but I felt panic overtaking me. My heart was pounding, as Brian finished talking,

and hung up the phone.

"What's goin' on?" Evan asked.

"Daniel had a rough night, Adam says. They've found a couple of things that they're wanting to check out a little more," Brian

said. His tone was calm, but I could tell he was upset, but likely putting on the steady calm front for Evan and Ford and me.

"What things?" I asked, from my spot beside the sink.

"An MRI, to look at some possible torn cartilage in his back," Brian said.

I was horrified, and I guess my facial expression showed that. Brian stepped over to me, putting his arm around

my shoulders.

"They're bein' cautious," Brian said, still calmly. "That's a _good_ thing. It doesn't mean that they'll find anything wrong."

I knew very well that it wasn't likely a doctor would order an MRI unless they thought there to be a good reason. But, I didn't

say that.

They all went outside after that, to tend to the ranch chores. Clare said she would work on what to have for the

evening meal. "Lunch can be sandwiches," she said. "Since everybody's going to be coming and going."

"Okay," I said. "I'll go do some laundry."

Clare gave me a side hug. "I know you're scared, Harlie, but try not to panic. Daniel's in good hands. He'll get good

care."

I went upstairs to gather up some laundry, mostly Isaac's, from Hannah's bedroom, and a couple pairs of Adam's jeans,

adding them to the basket I was carrying. As I passed by the boy's room, I could hear Jill moving around, the sounds of drawers

closing, and the closet door squeaking. _So, she was up._

I stopped beside the closed door, the basket balanced on my hip. I rapped on the door. Just once.

"Who is it?" she asked.

"Harlie."

"I'm not feeling well, Harlie."

I leaned closer to the door. "I thought you might want to know about what the hospital said. _About Daniel,"_ I added

pointedly.

The door opened, and Jill stood there, dressed in a sundress, and looking as well put together as she always did.

"The hospital called?" she asked.

"Adam called. Daniel has to have an MRI. They think his back might be messed up." My tone was short. And clipped.

For a long moment Jill stared at me, as if trying to absorb what I was saying, then she weaved a little bit, and

I swear, her face turned pale right in front of me.

"He was supposed to come home today, though," she said.

"Well, now he has to have this test," I said.

"Do you think one of the guys can give me a ride?" she asked, going over to pick up her long shoulder bag that

had been hooked over the back of a chair.

"We're going around ten to the hospital," I told her. "They're outside working right now."

"Can you give me a ride, Harlie?" she asked, then.

I was so shocked by her request that I just stared at her. I mean, _seriously?_

"We're going at ten," I repeated.

Jill opened her mouth, and then closed it again, as we heard the telephone begin to ring downstairs.

"If you were so worried, why didn't you stay at the hospital?" I asked her.

Jill met my eyes, and said, "In case you forgot, I'm pregnant. I couldn't sleep there. I need my rest-"

"It would be kind of difficult to forget that you're pregnant," I said, without thinking.

"Sometimes, Harlie, you're not very kind," Jill said, her eyes pinning me. And, then, she said, "Will you come and get me when

everybody is ready to leave, please?"

I turned to go, and I guess she thought I was agreeing to tell her when we left, because she closed the door again, right away.

I went downstairs and started the laundry, my chest thumping in agitation. Both the dryers were filled with dried clothes that

needed folding, so I started doing that, spread out on the long folding table.

I wasn't quite finished with the folding and stacking into neat piles, when the door above the stairs opened, and

Brian called down to me.

"Peach? You down there?"

I called back up to him, and he said, "We're goin' in a few minutes to the hospital."

"Okay," I called back.

I left my unfinished chore of folding clothes and went upstairs. Hannah was in the kitchen, holding Isaac and leaning

against the counter, talking to Clare, who was sitting at the table.

"You're home," I said, gladly, and went to hug her.

"Yes, just a few minutes ago."

"How is he?" I asked, searching her face for signs of strain.

"He was sleeping when I left-he didn't get much sleep last night. He was pretty uncomfortable. He's going to

have an MRI later this afternoon."

"Yes, Adam called," I said. "So his back might be hurt?" I asked, worriedly.

"They're going to check that out," Hannah said.

"Where's Adam?" I asked.

"He brought me home, but I think he's going back in a couple of hours, so he'll be there while they're doing the

MRI,"

"Did Crane stay?" I asked.

"Yes, he stayed."

Brian came thru from the living room. "Grab a jacket," he told me. "It looks like it might rain."

"Guthrie's not going?" Hannah asked, looking at Brian questioningly.

"No."

"Alright," Hannah said, and she tried to smile at me, but it didn't quite come off.

Brian paused beside her. "Why don't you grab a nap," he told her.

"I think I might," Hannah agreed.

I went to the living room to take a jacket from the hook by the door, and caught a glimpse of Adam outside, talking

to Evan beside the barn.

I went out, pulling on my jacket as I went. I walked over and stood beside them while they talked, discussing a couple of

the cows, and an order of feed that needed to be picked up, things like that. When it seemed as though they were finished, Adam

turned to me, and Evan walked on into the barn.

"Hey," Adam greeted me. His face was lined with weariness, etched in his forehead, and in his eyes, too.

"Hey," I said. "How's Daniel?"

"He was resting when I left," Adam said.

"Brian and I are going in now," I said.

Adam nodded, and tried a smile. "He'll be glad to see you."

"He shouldn't have been working so much, and then he wouldn't have fallen asleep," I said. "Right?"

Adam reached out and ran his thumb down my cheek. "You can't think that way."

"Do they know when he can come home?" I asked.

"That hasn't been decided yet. They might know more after the test this afternoon," he said.

I sighed, feeling anxious. The front screen door flapped shut, and Brian headed our way.

"Ready?" I asked Brian.

"As soon as Jill gets out here," Brian answered.

I resisted a sigh and an eye roll, as Jill came out and down the front steps.

"We're goin' in Ford's truck," Brian told me.

"Okay," I said.

"I'll be back in there in a couple hours," Adam told Brian.

"You've been up all night," Brian said. "You need to keep your butt home and catch a nap. I'll stay there while they

do the MRI. Crane's there. You stay home."

Adam made a 'humph' sort of sound, which I couldn't tell if was in agreement or disagreement with Brian's comment.

Jill came out the front door and down the steps.

Adam walked with us over towards Ford's truck, and I started to climb in, my foot on the running board.

"Hannah was kind enough to come up and tell me you all were leaving," Jill said, pointedly. She was standing right behind me,

ready to slide in after me. I stopped, and turned to look at her.

Her implication was clear. To me, at least. She'd asked me to come and get her, and I hadn't. If Hannah hadn't told her

we were leaving, she would have been left at the house. That's what she was pointing out to me.

"Well you're here, so it's all fine, isn't it?" I said, in my own veiled comment.

"If you say so," Jill answered.

The two of us faced off for a long few moments. I guess there was enough of a current of irritation between us that

it was obvious to Adam and Brian. They were both watching us, and so I shook it off, and resisted the urge to say something

snappy to her, and slid into the center of the truck seat.

**7**

"


	60. Daniel

The ride to the hospital took about forty minutes. It was a mostly silent ride. The only time that changed was when

Brian stopped at a gas station to fill up the truck. The attendant came over to ask what we needed and Brian told him to fill

the tank.

"Do we have time-that I could go in for a minute?" Jill asked Brian, leaning across me. _Polite as could be, I_ _noticed._

"Yeah. We have time," Brian told her.

Jill got out of the truck, and went towards the station, going inside.

As the attendant began washing the windshield, Brian nodded towards the building, and said, "What was goin' on with

the two of you, back at the house?"

I looked at him swiftly, surprised. I mean, I knew that Brian had noticed something between Jill and I, but I was surprised

that he asked about it. That's not really his style. If her and I had been going at it, head-on, screaming or hair-pulling, then sure, then he

would have intervened. But, to ask about just an appearance of friction between me and Jill, that surprised me.

When I didn't answer immediately, Brian quirked an eyebrow. "Huh?" he prompted.

I shrugged. "Same old, same old."

"What's that mean?" he asked.

"It wasn't _anything,"_ I said. "We just don't get along. It wasn't any one particular thing."

"Mmmm," Brian said, and then, as the guy finished washing the windshield, and filling the tank, he took out his

wallet.

"Twelve bucks even," the guy said.

Brian pulled out a ten and two ones and handed it to him.

"Thanks," he told the guy.

"Why is that?" Brian asked, as the guy headed inside.

"Why what?"

"Why do you have such a tough time with Jill?"

I was shocked that he even had to _ask me that._

"Because," I said. "Because she's whiny, and entitled, and-" I hesitated, as I saw Jill coming back out and towards us. "And-because

she doesn't really love Daniel."

Brian gave me a hard look. I had the distinct feeling that he would have said a lot more. Except for the fact that Jill

was opening the truck door, and sliding back into the seat.

Once we were in the elevator going up to the floor that Daniel was on, Jill laid her hands on her stomach.

"The _lurching_ of this thing," she said, with a groan.

The elevator stopped, and a young couple got on, and we rode up another floor, and they got off.

"I should have eaten something else, I think," Jill said. "My stomach settles down after I eat, usually."

"You can get somethin' out of one of the vending machines," Brian said, in suggestion. "Or get some fruit from the

cafeteria. That might be better."

Probably a year or so ago-Brian wouldn't have suggested anything. But, now that he had a pregnant wife of his own, he'd definitely learned a good bit about

women's health, and tips and tricks to help.

Jill flashed Brian a huge smile, and said, "Good idea," as if he'd suggested the cure for the common cold or something.

I suppressed a huge sigh, but rolled my eyes heavenward.

Once the elevator came to a stop at the fourth floor, and the doors opened, Jill said, "He's in Room 283. Down this way."

She led the way down the hallway and when we went into the room, Crane, who was sitting with his long legs propped on the

end of the hospital bed, straightened, and stood up. Daniel was sleeping, and Crane snapped the television remote, turning off the

Bonanza rerun.

Jill went immediately to the side of the bed, to look down at Daniel, and Brian and Crane had a low-toned conversation.

"He's gettin' some rest," Brian said, nodding towards the sleeping Daniel.

"Yeah, he's been in and out," Crane said.

"They still plannin' on doing the MRI later?" Brian asked.

Crane nodded. "That's what they're saying."

I had gone to the other side of the bed, studying Daniel. He had an IV in his arm, and the other arm-his left-was in a cast,

held against his chest, with a sling around the cast. There were cuts on the side of his face and across his chin. He looked _defenseless. _

I couldn't help myself from reaching out to run my fingers over his hand that was sticking out from the cast.

Crane had stepped back over beside me, and I looked up at him, feeling really emotional.

"Is he in lots of pain?" I asked.

"They're giving him medicine for the pain," Crane said.

Jill had pulled a chair up to the edge of the bed on the other side, and had hold of Daniel's other hand.

So, after that, we all sat. And sat some more. There weren't enough chairs, so Brian paced back and forth, until Crane

told him to take his chair.

"I'm going to grab a cup of coffee," Crane said. "You need anything?" he asked Brian, and then looked at me

and at Jill.

Jill shook her head, seeming subdued. When Crane came back a few minutes later, though, he'd brought a drink carrier,

and coffee for all of us.

I let Crane have my chair, and he took it, and I perched myself, half on one of his long legs, and halfway squeezed into

what was left of the chair.

Daniel stirred as the nurse came bustling in, to take his vitals, and after that, Daniel opened his eyes.

He took in Jill, sitting there clutching at him, and said, _"Jilly,"_ in a hoarse voice.

I'd never heard him call her that before. _Jilly._ Then he turned to look at Brian and me.

"Hey, big brother," he said, and Brian and I came to the edge of the bed.

"Hey, yourself," Brian greeted him.

Daniel smiled at me, but I could tell it was a real effort for him to do so.

"Hullo, squirt," he said.

"Hey," I said.

"What's the idea?" Brian asked him. "Scarin' the hell out of everybody?"

It was such a _Brian_ thing to say. Half scolding, half teasing. The corner of Daniel's mouth lifted in a slight grin.

"Sorry about that," Daniel said, in the raspy voice.

They brought in a lunch tray after that, and Daniel ate, and then he fell asleep again. Brian stood up, stretching out his

back, and then tapped my shoulder. "Let's go down and get some lunch," he told me.

I got obediently to my feet. I wasn't very hungry, really, but I was ready to stretch my legs.

Brian paused, looking at Jill. "You ought to eat," he told her.

"Could you bring me up a salad or something?" she asked. "I don't want to leave him yet."

"Yeah," Brian said, in agreement. He ushered me out of the room, and we went back to the elevator, riding it down to

the floor which held the cafeteria.

We chose our food, and went to sit down at one of the few tables that was left unoccupied.

"We could take it back up to the room to eat," I suggested.

"Nah. Let's eat down here."

As we began eating, I asked Brian how he thought Daniel looked.

"I mean, he just seems so weak," I pointed out.

"I imagine he does feel weak. He looks rough," Brian said, bluntly.

"If the test shows his back is messed up, he won't be able to work, will he?" I asked.

Brian took a drink of his Coke, and said, "He'll heal up alright."

He said it in a confident tone, as if he was absolutely _certain._

"What if he can't, though?" I persisted.

"Then we'll get him to physical therapy, or whatever else he needs."

I nibbled at my sandwich. It tasted bland. The roast beef was tough. I pushed what was left across the table

to Brian.

"You want the rest?" I offered.

"You eat it."

"I don't want any more of it," I said.

He looked at me, and I waited for him to insist that I finish it.

"I brought an apple," I said. "It's in Daniel's room. I'll eat that later."

Brian nodded briefly, and I waited for him while he went back to the line, and got Crane and Jill both a sandwich.

As we rode back up in the elevator, I said, briefly, "Jill said a salad."

"What?"

"Jill said she wanted a salad."

"The sandwich will be fine," Brian said.

I looked at him, raising my eyebrows in a '_whatever you say'_ sort of look. "Okaaaay," I said. "Be ready for the diva attitude."

Brian gave me a look right back again, and I could tell he was irritated.

"A sandwich, or a salad, that's the least of our worries right now, Harlie."

"I know that, Bri. Jill may not, though."

The elevator stopped at our floor, and we stepped out, and as I moved to start walking down the hall, Brian caught

my wrist.

"Harlie," Brian said, "Let's just do what needs doin'. Alright?"

I blinked up at him, at first, confused, and then, feeling _scolded,_ although I wasn't sure that's what he intended.

"Okay," I said, somewhat defensively, and Brian gave a brief nod.

I looked towards the nurse's station to see if we were being overheard, even though Brian had been talking in a low voice.

"I don't know why you're getting onto me," I said, feeling emotional. "I haven't done anything."

"I'm only sayin' not to be provoked into anything with Jill. This is about Daniel. It's not about whatever's going on

between the two of you," Brian said, still quietly.

_Wow._ I felt quick, stupid tears spring to my eyes. I really, _really_ felt scolded now. And, _hurt._ I felt blindsided,

like Brian was thinking that my first priority was not Daniel.

I gave Brian a long look, eye to eye, and then I looked away. "Fine," I said, shortly. Curtly. And, then I walked

back down the hall to Daniel's room.

Jill didn't say a word against the sandwich that Brian had brought. She just smiled, and thanked him so sweetly that

it made me sick. She ate it, and Crane ate his, while Brian paced some more.

Jill brushed the crumbs from her dress, and patted Daniel's hand. "I'll be right back," she said. "They should be

coming to get him soon for the MRI, the nurse said."

Daniel had been dozing, but he opened his eyes, as Jill stood up, and left the room.

I'd been sitting beside Crane, keeping quiet, and Daniel said, still in that hoarse voice, "Squirt-"

I looked at him, and he said, "Comere. Come and talk to me."

I scooted the chair over to sit beside his bed. He wiggled the fingers sticking out of his cast in a signal for me to take them.

I did, and I squeezed them gently.

"You okay?" he asked. His voice wasn't very loud, because it was so hoarse-sounding.

"I'm okay," I said, feeling emotional. "I'm not the one laying there, all busted up."

"Aw, this is nothin'," Daniel said, lifting the casted arm just slightly. He tried the grin out again. "What have you been

doin'? How's that renegade horse of yours?"

I tried to amuse Daniel, and I told him how earlier I had tried to entice D.C. to the corral with an apple, but he'd resisted, so

I'd gotten so mad that I'd started eating the apple myself, and hollering out to D.C. about how good it was, as though he

would understand me, and be sorry for his behavior.

Daniel did chuckle, and then coughed, as though it hurt to try to laugh.

Jill came back, and two hospital workers came to take Daniel down to his MRI appointment. They took him down in

a wheelchair, and as they were pushing him out of the room, he said, "You all headin' home?"

"We'll stay until you're finished," Brian answered.

"There's Adam," Crane said, and we all turned to see Adam coming off the elevator.

"Just in time, huh?" Adam said, resting a hand on the back of Daniel's neck.

The orderly told us we could wait in the room, or in one of the lounges, and that it would be an hour or so before

the MRI was finished.

We ended up going to the lounge nearest to Daniel's room. The television was on, with a cartoon, and there was a lady

sitting there, knitting, while her two little kids ran around the room.

"Did you eat lunch?" Adam asked me, as I sat down in the chair next to him.

"Yeah."

"How about you, Crane?" Adam asked.

"Yeah, I had a sandwich," Crane answered.

Adam's eyes rested on Jill, sitting across from us. "You need to eat, too," he told Jill.

"I did. Brian got me something earlier," Jill said, with another slight smile at Brian.

"Good," Adam said. Apparently satisfied that everybody had been fed, Adam began a conversation with Brian and Crane

about ranch stuff. I sat, quiet, and after a bit Adam reached over and laid his hand on my knee.

"You're quiet," he said.

I shrugged, and he said, "Are you feelin' alright?"

"Yes."

Adam tipped his head slightly, looking quizzical, and I said, "I'm just worried about Daniel."

"I know," he said, and patted my knee, comfortingly. "He's gonna be alright, though."

I looked up and saw Jill, watching and seeming to listen. Our gazes met, and then she gave a very, very slight smile, and

took a small notebook out of her bag, and began writing in it.

I wasn't sure what to make of that smile.

**7**


	61. Drive

When they came to tell us that Daniel was finished with the MRI, we all went back to his room. The doctor came in shortly

after that, and said the results of it would take a day or more.

"I know he wants to go home, and I'm sure you want that as well," the doctor said, to all of us in the room. "I'd prefer he

stay here another night, though, until we see what the results show."

Adam gave a brief nod, as though he wasn't surprised.

Daniel had fallen asleep, and I wondered if he hadn't, if he would protested having to stay another night.

When the doctor had gone, the five of us had a low-toned circle conversation.

"I'm going to stay the night with him," Jill announced.

Adam gave a brief nod, and I thought he looked as though he approved.

"You're comin' home, aren't you?" Adam asked Crane. "You've got to be tired, from tryin' to sleep in that chair last night."

"Yeah. I'm tired," Crane admitted, but he hesitated, looking over at the sleeping Daniel. "Maybe I had ought to stay, though."

"He's gonna sleep, Crane. There's nothin' you can do tonight," Brian said. He sounded like Brian-a bit abrupt, but I knew he didn't

mean to sound uncaring. He verified that with his next comment, and a hand on Crane's shoulder. "You look done in. You need

to go home."

Crane nodded in agreement, and Adam paused, looking at Jill. "Are you okay on your own?" he asked her, quietly.

I thought how _Adam-like_ that was. Asking Jill such a question. He was being protective, even of her. Or, if not protective, then, at

least, concerned.

Jill gave a slight shrug. "I'm used to being on my own, Adam," she said. Her tone wasn't exactly _hateful,_ but it wasn't

_nice,_ either. More like defensive sounding. In her usual way, I thought, darkly.

I cast a look up at Adam to see what he thought of that response. He showed no sign of being offended.

"Maybe so," he allowed. "But you don't have to be all on your own now. At least, not all of the time," he said, kindly.

Jill looked for a moment-well, stunned, and then she smiled at him.

"That's really nice, Adam. Thank you," she said.

"I can stay-if you'd like," Crane told her.

"No. I'll be alright," she said. "Brian's right. You should get some rest."

Crane nodded, and went to the edge of the bed, where Daniel was stirring slightly.

"We're heading home," Crane told him, softly.

"Oh, okay," Daniel said, as he struggled to sit up a bit.

"Get some rest, Dan'l," Brian said, standing at the foot of the bed.

"I'll try."

Adam patted Daniel's foot, covered by the hospital blanket. "Behave yourself," he said.

"No promises," Daniel said, and tried to give Adam a slight grin.

I was beside Crane, and I reached out to squeeze Daniel's hand gently. I felt ridiculously like crying. I wasn't even sure

why.

"I'll make you some cookies," I promised.

"Make a bunch," Daniel said.

"I will."

Before we left, Adam took Jill aside, casually, not making a big deal out of it, and I heard him ask her if she had

money so she could eat from the cafeteria and all.

"I have a little," she said.

"Well-" Adam pulled out his wallet, and took out what looked like a ten dollar bill to me. "Here. Just in case."

Jill nodded, taking it from him, and Adam put his wallet away in the back pocket of his jeans. He did it so quietly, offering her the money, that

I don't think Daniel even noticed.

We were silent, mostly, in the elevator, going down. I could tell Crane was bone weary, and I understood that. The chairs in Daniel's

room didn't fold out, and, with how long Crane's legs are, well, it couldn't have been very comfortable, trying to sleep.

I knew they were all worried about Daniel, and Ford had reminded me earlier that the whole thing was even more wearing and

frightening for the three oldest McFaddens. Because of our parents, and how they'd been killed in a car accident. I remembered how

Adam had stood, the night before, looking out into the pouring rain and the darkness, watching for the headlights of

Daniel's truck. I realized that I didn't know how they'd finally heard about Daniel, having had an accident. Had somebody called?

That must have been really, really terrifying for all three of them. Of course, relieved when they heard that Daniel was alive, but still-terrifying.

Once we got out to the parking lot, I found that I wanted to be with Adam. I didn't make a big deal out of it, or come right out and

announce it, but I guess it was obvious, because Adam glanced down at me, and said, quietly, "Are you riding with me?"

I nodded, and he said, "Alright. See you two at home," to Brian and Crane.

The drive started out silently, until we were out on the highway, heading back towards Murphys.

"What do you think the MRI will show?" I asked him, feeling worried.

"Hopefully nothing."

I studied his profile, as he pulled the sun visor down, and concentrated on the cars coming off the ramps.

"Who called? To tell you about Daniel having an accident?"

"The highway patrol. Some people stopped, and called for help, and then, when they called us, he was being taken in the

ambulance to the hospital," Adam said.

"So he was getting close to home?" I asked.

"Within an hour or so," he verified.

I felt suddenly stuffy. Overly warm, like a flush of heat covering my cheeks. I rolled the window down, halfway, so the breeze would

come thru.

"Did the truck flip over?" I asked.

"Harlie," Adam said, in quiet admonishment, looking over at me. A warning, I knew, that he thought I was being obsessive, for no

good reason.

I subsided, feeling _spent,_ as if I'd run a marathon or something.

I felt Adam keep looking over at me, in the next few minutes, as if gauging me, and then I heard him sigh.

"I know you're worried about Daniel," he said. "I am, too. Thinking over _how_ it happened, or-what could have happened, that's not

gonna help him. And, it'll just make it harder for _you."_

"Okay," I said, in quiet agreement.

Adam talked on, his tone calm. "We're fortunate it wasn't worse, because it sure could have been. He'll heal up, alright."

"It had to be so _scary_ for you guys-when they called you and told you what happened," I said.

"It was."

"It had to make you remember-" I said, letting my voice trail off.

"It did," he said. "I don't need an accident to happen to remember, though. Every time any of you were learning to drive, or

the first time for solo driving, I remembered. From Crane on down to you. I had to-" he hesitated, as if thinking of the right words.

"I had to harden my heart a little, every time one of you took down the driveway, thinking you were the world's best driver. It's been

harder with some of you than others. With a couple of you, it took all I had not to stand in front of the vehicle, and keep it from

going any further."

I felt a sudden, overwhelming sympathy for Adam. And, Brian, too.

They'd been so young, at the beginning, taking all of us on. And, then, we grew up. It must have been a terrifying and daunting

task.

I undid my seat belt, scooting over into the middle of the truck seat, and linking my left arm thru his right.

I was silent, and so was he, for a few minutes, and then he patted my knee with his right hand, and said, "Put your seat

belt on."

I reached for the middle seat belt, digging it out, and fastening it. And, then, I hooked my arm thru his again.

**7**


	62. Home

That night after we'd had a supper of sandwiches and potato chips, and were mostly all gathered in the living room,

Guthrie put out the request that he and I stay home from school the next day.

He was pointing out that he wanted to be here when Daniel got home, and that last minute things might be needed

from the store, and all of that.

I was fairly certain what the answer was going to be, so I kept mostly quiet, except to nod and say, "Right," when Guthrie

added that our help might be needed. Cattle needed to be worked, and somebody would have to drive in and bring

Daniel and Jill home.

Crane, who looked exhausted, studied Guthrie from where he sat on one of the couches, pulling off his boots.

"We don't know when he's going to come home. It might not be tomorrow," he said.

I hadn't gotten that impression from what the doctor had said earlier, so I gave Crane a quick, surprised look. As did Guthrie.

"I thought he was," Guthrie said, and for a moment or more there was an unsettling lapse in conversation.

"Hopefully so," Adam said, speaking up to fill the silence.

"The doctor said he thought so," I said, looking from Adam to Brian and then to Crane.

"Like I said, hopefully so," Adam repeated.

I wrinkled my forehead, wondering if there was something that they weren't sharing with Guthrie and I.

"So, what about stayin' home tomorrow?" Guthrie asked.

They all three exchanged one of _those_ looks, like they do sometimes. Where they talk without saying anything. Years of

practice, I guess, for when they didn't want us youngers to know what they were thinking.

"I don't think there's any need in you two missin' school," Adam said.

"One day is nothin'," Guthrie said, in protest.

"It's getting near the close of the nine weeks," Crane said, letting his second boot drop to the floor. "Finals coming up. It's not

the time to be missing."

"_One_ day, Crane," Guthrie objected.

"Guth," Adam said. In Adam-speak, that meant '_stop arguing'._

Guthrie wisely said no more, but I knew he wasn't happy about being told no. In Guthrie-like fashion, though, he shrugged it

off and went to the kitchen to get a glass of milk.

When he returned, milk glass in one hand, and cookies in the other hand, Crane was standing up, stretching his back.

"Did you both get all your homework done?" he was asking Guthrie and I.

"Yeah. It's been a crazy weekend," Adam added.

"I didn't have much," Guthrie said. "It's done."

"How about you?" Crane asked, turning to me.

"I've got a little left to do," I admitted.

I went to do my diabetes shot, and got a snack of my own, taking my bowl of grapes and crackers and going back to the

living room. I said my goodnights and began to head up the stairs to my room.

Once I was upstairs, I set down my snack, and went to take a quick shower. Even quicker due to the fact that somebody had used

nearly all the hot water.

I set to work on my remaining homework. Two math worksheets, which I admit that I did sort of haphazardly. Then I set to work on

an article for journalism class. I was in the midst of that, intent on my writing, when there was a tap on my door.

"Harlie?"

"Yeah, come in," I called out.

Adam opened the door and stood there in the doorway. "Lights out," he said.

"I need to finish this," I said.

He stepped on into the room, and closer to my bed. "What is it?"

"An article for journalism."

"Well, you can finish it in the morning," he said. "Put it away."

He sounded tired. I looked up at him, as I shoved the papers together, and stacked them on the nightstand. He looked tired, too.

There were creases of weariness across his forehead, and around his eyes. Sometimes it seemed as though Adam was aging right

in front of my very eyes.

I felt a tenderness swarm over me, and I reached out for his hand. "You should go to bed soon, too," I told him, rubbing my

thumb across the work-worn callouses on the palm of his hand.

"You think so, huh?" he said.

"Yes." I gave him my own interpretation of a stern look.

Adam gave me a brief half-smile. "I'll try to do that," he said.

**7**

Things over the next few days seemed to get more complicated and chaotic around our house. Things are rarely dull or moving at

a slow pace at the best of times. So, now it was chaos. Or nearly chaos. Only Hannah's calming demeanor and Adam and Brian's

steady hands kept it from being completely out of control.

It was late Monday before Daniel got home from the hospital. I was already home from work at the vet office by the time Crane

came driving up to the house, with Daniel. Jill had called earlier in the day while I'd still been at school, wanting a ride home

from the hospital. At least from what I'd garnered from conversations. I thought that was sort of dumb on her part, to leave hours

before Daniel was due to be released. Still-probably it was for the best. Jill didn't seem to be at her strongest in a stress-filled situation.

And I was sure that Daniel was likely okay with Crane being his driver back to the ranch.

Anyway, Hannah, along with Clare's help, had gotten some supper ready. Tacos, so that all that had to be done to finish was to

heat up the hamburger meat.

Crane had called and said they were on their way, and so we were all ready. Kenny had come over, too, and he was out with Guthrie

somewhere, helping with chores. I was chopping up tomatoes for the tacos when somebody hollered out that Crane was coming up

the driveway. I laid down my paring knife, and Jill, who'd been setting the table, _surprisingly,_ looked flustered, and anxious.

She set the plates down and we both headed to the front door. Crane had helped Daniel out of the truck cab, and was holding onto

one of his arms for support. Daniel had a wide brace thing wrapped around his waist. They were coming up the front steps slowly, as I stood,

holding the screen door opened. Adam was walking behind them a bit, and Evan was heading over from the corral area. Jill ran down the stairs and met them at the bottom, taking the other side of Daniel.

She started telling him to go slowly, be careful, all of that. I stayed quiet, and when Daniel finally made it to the top step he

gave me a greeting of "Hey, brat," in a sort of raspy voice.

I gave him a glad smile. "Hey."

When Daniel had been installed on one of the couches, and Jill had tucked herself against his side-the side with his unbroken arm,

so she could hook her arm thru his, Hannah sat on his other side for a few brief moments.

"How hungry are you?" Hannah asked Daniel, reaching out to smooth his hair away from his forehead, in an affectionate gesture.

"Starving," Daniel confirmed.

"We can eat in here," Hannah said, gesturing around the living room.

"No need to make more of a mess for yourself, Hannah, draggin' everything in here-I can come to the table just fine," Daniel told her.

"Alright," Hannah said, quietly, and she went off to the kitchen to heat up the meat. I remembered my still unfinished job

of cutting up the tomatoes and went after her.

I finished that and also set the table, since Jill was still attached to Daniel. Kenny came in the back door while I was setting out

the plates, and moving chairs closer together.

I turned to smile at him, and he grinned back, as Hannah said, "Go on and wash up, Kenny. We're about ready to eat."

"Yes, ma'm," Kenny said, going to the sink to wash his hands. He turned from the sink when he'd finished, to smile at me again.

"Is Guthrie coming along?" Hannah asked him.

"Yeah. He was right behind me," Kenny said.

I handed Kenny a handful of silverware and he followed along behind me around the table, putting down the forks and spoons.

When we were all gathering around the table, squeezed in together, the food began to be passed around. I noticed how cautiously

that Daniel seemed to be sitting, sort of extra straight, as though it was taking great effort. I wondered if his back was hurting him. Nobody talked about the

accident, or where his truck was at, or what the results of the MRI had been, or any of that. Conversation was light, and everyday,

about fence, and the need for more feed, and the need for caulking in the bathtub.

Daniel, even thru his statement of having been starving, didn't eat all that much, I didn't think. Clare got up to get out some ice cream

from the freezer, and the table got cleared off with everybody helping. Daniel ambled back to the living room, Jill still sticking close to him. Kenny

left to go outside again with Guthrie.

"The ice cream needs to soften up," Clare said. Hannah tried shuffling me out of the kitchen, telling me to go and get my homework

done.

I resisted, and said, stubbornly, "I can help. You've probably been on your feet all day."

Midway thru the dishes, Hannah had finished putting the food away, and came to take the dish towel from my hand, taking my place

next to Clare, who was washing the dishes.

"Alright, I'll take over," she told me. "Scoot."

I didn't get much homework done, sitting in the living room. I kept watching Daniel, who'd fallen asleep, stretched out on

the couch, with his head in Jill's lap.

I could see Crane and Evan and Brian and Adam standing outside, just at the bottom of the front porch steps, talking together

in a circle.

I put down my books and went outside, hesitating at the top of the porch, and wrapping one arm around a porch column.

After a couple of more minutes of them talking, I caught only a couple of words. They all looked up at me standing there,

and Adam said, "Need something?" to me.

I shook my head no, and they turned back to each other, talking again. Feed pickup the next morning, and other ranch stuff

again. I could hear the phone ringing inside. And ringing. And then, Clare came to the door, pushing open the screen.

"It's Ford," she said, to the group. "He called to talk to Daniel, but he's sleeping. Ford's asking to talk to one of you."

"He likely wants to know what was said at the hospital," Crane said.

"Likely," Adam said, in agreement. "You want to go?" he asked Crane.

"Yeah," Crane said, and headed up the steps, and going past me, and inside, with Clare in front of him.

Ford hadn't really wanted to go back to college that morning. He'd been leaning towards staying-at least until

Daniel came home, but everyone had talked otherwise to him, and he'd let himself be convinced to go back.

Adam made a motioning sign to me, and I went down the porch steps to stand in their small circle.

He put his arm around my shoulders, and gave me a gentle squeeze.

They began talking about going to pick up Daniel's truck, from where it had been left. The highway patrol had moved it off of the

roadway, and it needed to be either hauled or towed home.

I garnered from their conversation that they didn't want to have to have it towed by a tow truck. I knew enough to know that they

were considering the financial aspect of it. And, too, they thought the truck would likely be totaled out, not salvageable.

I waited for a lull in the conversation, and then I asked, "What did the MRI show?" I hadn't had a chance to ask anybody privately

since I'd gotten home, and I hadn't wanted to ask around Daniel.

"His back's sprained," Adam said.

"Oh," I said, sort of subdued. That sounded bad to me. "What does that mean? Like what can he do for it?"

"Rest, heat, ice, things you do for any sort of sprain," Brian said.

"That's why he's wearing that-brace thing?" I asked.

"It helps with the support," Adam said.

"The brace'll help ease the pain, too," Evan added.

"Oh," I said, again.

My tentativeness must have shown thru, because Adam squeezed my shoulders again. "Daniel's gonna be alright," he said, quietly.

I met his eye, and nodded. Mostly because I knew that's what he expected.

It was while we were standing there that Jill came out and down the steps, and past us, walking towards the barn, and sniffling

and swiping at her eyes. She didn't say anything to anybody or even really look our way. Just went towards the barn and inside.

Crane was coming back as well, and Brian asked, "What's up with her?" nodding his head towards where Jill had gone.

Crane shook his head slightly. "I don't know, she's upset about something. I didn't hear it all."

"Well-it's hard," Adam said, as though he was excusing Jill.

_"Daniel's_ the one who's hurt," I muttered. "Not her."

Nobody told me to knock it off, or to hush up. The three oldest McFaddens must be giving me the benefit of the doubt, or else they

were just too darn tired to react. Only Evan did, giving me a look that seemed to say, '_not the time'._

The sky was starting to change colors, as the sun prepared to descend.

"I'll go tomorrow, to pick up the truck," Evan was saying.

Guthrie and Kenny were walking our direction. Guthrie caught the tail end of the conversation, and said, quickly, "I can go with, and

help get it home."

"You've got school," Crane said, shortly. Repeating the same argument and answer as from the night before.

"One of us will be around to help," Brian said.

Evan went on, talking about the trailer that was behind the barn, and planning to use that to load the truck on.

Kenny was standing off, just a bit, his hands in the pockets of his jeans, and I turned to him.

"Want to go for a walk?" I asked him.

He gave a nod, and a slight smile, and I could see the eagerness in his eyes. To be off by ourselves, for a bit.

"We're gonna walk," I said, in a sort of broad announcement to anybody.

"Not long." It was Brian that spoke up. "Ken, you're gonna need to be heading home soon."

Kenny gave a respectful nod of his head, and we walked off, towards the orchard.

**7**


	63. Fruity drinks and the lack thereof

Kenny and I ended up drifting down the driveway, and sitting on top of the large boulder that sits at the end.

"There's a lot going on around here," Kenny observed, putting his arm around my shoulders.

"_Always._ But, yeah, even more now," I said.

"The McFaddens are never boring," Kenny said, with a grin.

"Nope."

We sat and talked about stuff for a while, school, and what he'd done at his Gram Ida's the weekend before.

We were watching the sun get lower and lower, changing to a burnt orange color.

"I better get goin'," he said.

"Not yet," I said, turning to face him, and waiting for him to kiss me. He did, until both of us were a little breathless.

I could tell he wanted to kiss some more, because I did, too, but he said, sounding regretful, "I gotta go. I don't want Brian

takin' after me with his shotgun."

I nodded, feeling regretful, too. We slid down from the boulder, and started walking back up the driveway in the dusk.

"I don't think Brian would actually shoot you," I teased.

"No? You don't think so?"

"I'm almost sure of it," I said, and Kenny laughed.

**7**

Back at the house, I waited until Kenny had driven off down the driveway, and then I went inside, closing the door and turning

off the porch light. Daniel was no longer in the living room, nor was Jill. Brian was, though, stretched out on the couch, with his eyes

closed. I actually thought he was asleep, until he spoke, saying, "I was about to send up a flare."

_Meaning, no doubt, that he'd thought it was past time for me to have said goodnight to Kenny and be inside the house._

I paused beside the couch, looking down at him. His eyes were still closed.

"Okay, Bri," I said, in resignation.

"Okay, what?" he countered, opening his eyes and looking at me.

"Okay, I get your point," I specified.

He sat up, then. "Get your shot done and get your snack. It's time for bed."

"Alright," I said, and started to walk towards the kitchen.

"Better hope Crane doesn't find out you were cavorting with Kenny and not gettin' your homework done," Brian said, to my retreating back.

I paused, and looked back over at him. "How do you know I didn't get it done?" I asked, in a bit of a challenge.

"Well, did you?" he countered.

"No," I admitted.

"Well, there you go," Brian said, and stood up.

**7**

Daniel's last check was mailed to him. He'd called the plant and told them he would be back to work in a couple of weeks, but they said

'_sorry, no dice'_ basically. I knew because I was in the room when he was making the call, and it was obvious, even from one sided, that it

wasn't going so well.

When he hung up, he looked dejected, and went to sink down into one of the recliners. Crane, who'd been working at the desk, took

off his glasses and said, quietly, "They're not going to go for it, huh?"

"Nope," Daniel said. "They said they might have been able to hold the job a week or so, but not two."

I knew, and I knew that Crane did too, obviously, that Daniel was supposed to take it fairly easy for at least _three weeks._ But Crane hadn't

said anything when Daniel was telling the management on the phone two weeks. He was supposed to rest, and ice his back, and do some stretching.

The stretching was complicated by the bruised ribs, because sometimes it hurt him to take a deep breath. He didn't say so, but I'd heard

Clare talking to him about it, and it was obvious if you were watching him. Only when he didn't know you were watching, of course.

And, with the broken arm, well, I thought it was ridiculous that he'd thought he could go back to work so soon, anyway. The more I thought

about that conversation, the more that I realized that Crane had likely known Daniel's employers would put the kibosh on his returning to work. Thus,

let him make the call and find out on his own. I figured that Daniel already knew, too, that it was a long shot, but he'd stubbornly had to try.

"Want some iced tea?" I asked Daniel.

"No, thanks."

"How about some juice?" I asked.

"I don't need anything, squirt."

Daniel sat, popping his knuckles, looking deep in thought.

"Maybe there's somethin' around town I can do in a couple weeks," he said, then.

"No point in rushing," Crane said, quietly. "You've got time."

"I _don't,_ though, Crane," Daniel objected. "I don't have time."

They were interrupted by the commotion of more McFaddens pouring into the living room. We ate picnic-style that night, sitting around

the living room, and using paper plates. I was still puzzling over Daniel's remark about _not having time._ I understood he was likely worried

about money, of course, what with Jill, and a baby coming, and now a wrecked truck, and no job. But, still, what was so urgent that he couldn't

take time to heal up?

I thought about asking Adam, or Hannah, or Crane about it, but I didn't want to cause them any more worry than what they

already had. Our household, always full, was growing to bursting, what with Clare and Brian's baby coming in a few months, and now Daniel back home

full time, with Jill in tow. And, of course the baby, when and if they were still living here when the baby was born.

Guthrie didn't seem to mind being regulated to the basement to sleep, just as Ford never complained about sleeping on the couch

when he was home-but still, I thought they should have their room back again, and Jill could sleep in the basement. Not particularly

gracious of me, I knew.

Since Daniel had been home from the hospital the last few days, Jill spent her time either glued to his side, or upstairs in the bedroom.

She sometimes went to the bedroom when Daniel went outside, or when he went to town on an errand with Evan or Crane or whoever.

It seemed to me that the light had gone out of Daniel. That's how I would describe it. I mean, it wasn't as though he went around

all morose, and he didn't take his frustrations or pain out on anybody else-but he just didn't seem the _same._

He was quiet, much more so than he ever had been. It always seemed as though his forehead was wrinkled in worry. It pained me-_a_ _lot,_ to see

him that way.

I'd had the others to observe on how couples complimented one another, and how they bolstered each other up when times got tough.

With Adam and Hannah, there'd been the most time to observe. Their arguments were few, but vocal. Hannah's buoyant personality kept

Adam going when he was feeling discouraged, and he, in return, gave her a strong shoulder to lean on. Brian and Clare-well, Clare had

definitely softened Brian's rough edges, and he seemed to balance her. There was no doubt, at least unofficially, that both Adam and Brian

were the undisputed _head of the household._ If there was a ruckus, and it came down to it, Adam would have the final say, and Brian-well,

he was mellowed with Clare, and very solicitous towards her, although he still put his foot down at times. Such as when she was so ill with

morning sickness and had still been trying to work long hours.

Evan and Nancy are a bit different, they neither one seem to boss the other one around, a fact which I found interesting because Evan

has always been such a _bossy boots. _ They treat each other with respect and cheer each other up.

Daniel and Jill, though-She just didn't seem to know how to raise Daniel's spirits, because she was too involved in her own

issues and depended on Daniel to raise _hers._ It just didn't seem that Jill held up her end of the bargain in the relationship.

I said as much one morning, in a general way, in the hearing of both Crane and Hannah.

Jill had been weepy appearing at breakfast, picking at her food, and I saw Daniel try to jolly her around a little, to bring her out of her

mood. Jill managed a small smile at him, and Evan, who'd come down to eat breakfast with us while Nancy went in early to work, asked

Daniel to ride along into town with him.

I knew Daniel had to be getting bored, since he couldn't even do ranch chores. He walked around alot and even cooked several

meals for everybody, since he could do that one-handed, but he couldn't do much else.

I caught up with Evan as he was heading outside. "Can I ride along with you?" I asked him.

"I dunno. Can you?" he countered.

"Please?" I asked, changing my tactics.

"It's okay with me," he said.

"Okay," I said, going back inside and going to tell Hannah where I was going. I went upstairs and got my paycheck that Ivy had given

me, so I could go to the bank. I burst out of the front door, and caught up with Daniel, just as he was easing himself down the

front steps.

"I'm going with you," I announced.

Daniel paused at the side of the truck, resting one hand on the tailgate of Evan's truck. "Oh, yeah?" he said, and looked over the

truck bed at Evan. "No bar hopping now, huh, Evan, since we're draggin' the kid along?"

"I guess not," Evan returned, with a grin.

"We can still go to the bar," I said, cheerfully, glad to have Daniel teasing me again, and climbing up into the truck and taking my spot in the middle.

It took Daniel more effort and time to get into his seat. He was slightly out of breath, just from that.

"You okay?" Evan asked, casually, leaning up to look over at Daniel.

"I'm great. Let's go," Daniel said.

When we were in the city limits of Murphys, and were between the lumberyard and the bar, I said, "Should we make the bar our first stop?"

"Real funny," Evan told me.

"I could go for a _Singapore Sling,"_ I said. "Although I doubt if Marvin would know how to make one-he probably wouldn't put nearly enough gin in-"

Instantly, both of them were giving me the _eye._

"What the hell?" Evan demanded, releasing the clutch and shutting off the motor.

"Yeah. What the hell?" Daniel echoed.

"What?" I asked, pretending innocence, and lifting my hands, palms up, in a '_what do you mean?'_ type of way.

"How do you even know what a _Singapore Sling_ is?" Daniel asked, frowning at me so hard it looked like the furrows filled his entire

forehead.

"Yeah. That's what I wanna know, too," Evan said, glaring at me.

I'd been going for the shock value in my comment about the drink, teasing them a little bit. They were both overreacting. Hugely.

"I was just joking around," I protested.

When they both kept frowning and glaring, I said, more strongly, "I _was!_ Good grief, do you think I would be serious about

telling you two that I wanted to drink?"

There. That hadn't come out quite like I'd meant it. I realized it had sounded as though I might _want_ to drink, but that I wouldn't tell _them._

"Good grief," I said, again, blowing upwards at the hair that was dangling in my eyes. "I _meant_ that I wouldn't." I looked right to left

and then back again. "I was _joking!"_ I insisted.

"Have you had one before?" Daniel asked.

"No!" I said, immediately. Vehemently. To the right.

"How'd you know there was gin in it, then?" Evan demanded.

Swiveling my neck to the left, I said, "I know what's in lots of the fruity drinks."

Nope. Wrong thing to say again. More glares.

"I did a story for journalism class. For the school paper. About drinks that are popular with teenagers," I said, in a rushed explanation.

They were still both silent, and riled, but didn't seem as tense, so I kept going. "You know, statistics of teens that drink, stuff like that."

"Oh," Daniel said.

"Yeah. '_Oh',"_ I said.

For a couple of long, long moments there was silence in the truck cab.

"You both totally overreacted," I muttered.

"Not from the way you made it sound," Evan denied. Somebody going into the lumberyard called out to him, and he waved a hand

in greeting.

"I was just joking around with you, like you were before, saying that you couldn't go to the bar because I was along with you-" I let

my voice trail off.

"Okay," Daniel said.

"It's pretty bad, that I can't even _joke_ with you guys," I said, irritated at the both of them. I guess I could see where they might

have gotten the wrong idea, but still-

"You can joke with us," Daniel said, to appease me.

"Apparently not," I said, a trifle haughty. It had been awhile since I'd been jumped on by both of them like this, and had an

overdose of '_bigbrotherlyitis'._

It was just while we were sitting there, in the lumberyard parking lot, that the sun disappeared, and the sky turned darker.

"Looks like a rain comin'," Evan said.

"Yeah. We better get the feed loaded," Daniel said.

"You're not loadin' any of it," Evan told him.

We got out, and Evan lowered the tail gate on the truck, while Daniel went inside, to tell them what we needed.

I went to get a bottle of pop from the machine, glad to be out of the conversation with them. _Good grief._

I was leaning against the machine, drinking my Coke, and watching the clouds move, when I heard a piercing whistle, and

Evan was motioning to me to come over to where he'd backed the truck up. He gestured to the bed of the truck.

"Hop up there and pull the tarp down over those sacks," he told me.

I obligingly clambered up into the back of the truck, and worked to arrange the tarp around the front of the sacks. It was just now

beginning to spit rain, and Evan was working at the tail gate end of the truck, doing his own pulling of the tarp across the feed sacks.

Daniel was standing off to the side of the building, talking to another guy. He looked sort of familiar to me, but yet I couldn't quite

place who he was.

"Who's that? The guy that Daniel's talking to?" I asked Evan, as I scrambled over the tarped sacks to the tail gate.

Evan turned to look and then said, "That's Danny Carson."

I sat down so I could slide to the ground. "Danny Carson," I repeated, trying to think what I knew of him.

"Yeah. You know-he used to play drums and guitar at all the bars all over the county-"

"Oh," I said, and then I batted my eyelashes at Evan and said in a fake simpering tone, "Well, I wouldn't know about him, then, because

bars are a big no-no for me, and so are _Harvey Wallbangers_ and _Singapore Slings_ and-"

"That's right," Evan said, dryly, and closed the tail gate.

"It seems like I've seen him around, though, seriously," I said.

"Probably you have. He's played at fairs and stuff around here for years," Evan said.

"Oh," I said, watching this guy.

"Come on," Evan said, and we went to get inside the truck cab to wait for Daniel.

"Got any gum?" I asked him.

"Nope."

"Guthrie always has gum. You don't even have any in here?" I opened the glove compartment, prepared to root around. There was

a bunch of wadded up receipts, and a dog-eared rodeo magazine.

"Get out of there," Evan protested. "I told you I don't have any gum."

I started shoving stuff back in, and he complained, "I tell you I don't have somethin' and you go rootin' thru anyway."

"Okay, okay," I said. "Sorry."

We waited for a couple of minutes, and I said, "Want me to go get Daniel?"

"No. Let him talk if he wants. It's good for him to get out and forget about everything for a while," Evan said.

I turned to look at him. "I agree," I said. I thought then of something, and said, "I guess if I hadn't come along, you and

Daniel could have gone to get a beer together somewhere, for real. That would have done him some good. I should have stayed home."

"Naw," Evan denied. "He doesn't need to be drinkin' with the painkillers he's takin'. We'll do it another time." He gave me a fake jab

to my ribs. "Besides, we don't mind you buttin' in. It's fine that you came along."

"Thanks," I said, with a roll of my eyes.

After a couple of more minutes, Evan said, "Serious, though, Har-I really hope you're not thinkin' about gettin' into any

of that drinkin' scene."

I turned to look at him, and his expression was dead serious. I knew what he was thinking about. The night when he'd been

responsible for me, and I'd taken off to go to that beer bash and gotten sick and lost my boot.

"I'm not," I said.

He was looking sort of skeptical, sort of '_okay, if you say so',_ and I said, "I'm not! I haven't actually drank since-" I paused, and remembered

that it had been with one of those roofers that Ivy had hired-well, no, I hadn't actually drank that afternoon-

"Since a long time," I substituted firmly. "I don't think I have even since that night of the party that you and Ford came looking for me."

"Yeah?" he asked, as if he really wanted to believe me.

"Yeah."

Evan looked out thru the windshield as a group of little kids ran across in front of us. "Well, that's good," he said. "I'm glad."

Daniel was walking towards the truck, and he got in, just as the rain began to pour.

"Whew," he said, laying a hand on his ribs.

"How's Danny?" Evan asked, starting up the motor.

"He's doin' good. Workin' at a club in Sacramento right now," Daniel said. He seemed lighter, somehow, and I thought he must

have really enjoyed talking music with another musician again.

**7**


End file.
